The Awkward Silence

1:27 AM

Great talk with my interpreter friend. I have a plan. She suggested that I hire my own interpreter if the school is not providing me with a satisfactory interpreter. That means I can bypass the whole agency and disability resource center. (nyah) heh

Right now the last email exchanges are simply not professional and I am just going to leave it, I'll respond with maybe a list of preferred interpreters that she can ask for. I'm so glad I have great interpersonal skills of being civil and confident with what I need and want.

user15026

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling but I am really glad you have those skills to advocate for yourself.

ElizB

@Ash Seems like the more experience I get advocating for myself the more I get challenged lol come at me bro :P

user15026

1:46 AM

The world does do that sometimes.

ElizB

Seems like it. oh well. shrugs I can deal with. I think. hehe

user15026

Just gotta keep trying :)

ElizB

yuuup. get advice, let it sit and think about it, that's what i've been doing.

user15026

That's a pretty good plan

ElizB

yup. I'm also slightly irked by the fact I said in an email "I will get back to you after spring break and make a decision then" and she emailed me during my spring break.... oi. whatevs.

IPS Comment Bot

3:52 AM

this title had me in tears — Jodast 11 secs ago

Matched regex(es) ["short-comment"]

Extroverted Main Man

5:45 AM

0

Q: How can I ask this girl out when she's giving me mixed signals (and other various obstacles)?

I'm going to try to make this short, but there's quite a bit of stuff to explain. Background information: Me: Male, 17, Junior Her: Female, 17 (assumed), Junior Situation: So, this girl moved from a nearby state to the city where I live in before the school year began, and when school seated...

IPS Comment Bot

Since you two are already texting I think you can text her casually and ask her to go out or maybe tell her that you're having a hard time with your physics homework and maybe she can help you? — desteen 1 min ago

#21348 desteen (59 rep) | Q: How can I ask this girl out when she's giving me mixed signals (and other various obstacles)? (score: 0) | posted 17 minutes ago by Jodast (121 rep) | Toxicity 0.12142559 | tps/fps: 0/0

Matched regex(es) ["possible-aic"]

dhein

Gamen :)

IPS Comment Bot

6:13 AM

Interesting answer. I have 2 Questions. First, could you give a bit more insight on experiences you made with this? Cause if I am just imagining doing it this way. such a "couching" phrase feels like that would be a bit overloaded for the conversations I was asking this about. It feels like I would put the conversation in a more serious manner than it was supposed to be. But I totally am open for the idea, that I am wrong here. And 2nd question: What you refer to with the last 2 paragraphs? I am not sure I can see the connection to your answer. — dhein 58 secs ago

#21335 dhein (1279 rep) | A: How to argue for a point of view without appearing like I am sharing that view? (score: 2) | posted 27 hours ago by Ed Grimm (416 rep) | Toxicity 0.07963425 | tps/fps: 0/0

Matched regex(es) ["chatty"]

dhein

@IPSCommentBot fp

IPS Comment Bot

Marked this comment as caught incorrectly (fp). Currently marked 0tps/1fps

Extroverted Main Man

7:02 AM

0

Q: How do you catch a stranger’s interest?

Set the stage: You are on Tinder, Bumble, etc. and you see someone you would like to talk to. How do you send that first message? Particularly if there is little to no information for you to start with.

conversations strangers

JAD

7:29 AM

uh, doesn't Tinder's entire model revolve around catching a stranger's interest?

dhein

@JAD: Yeh, but folks are kinda bad at it sometimes. By just having a profile with a picture and no other info at all. I think thats what he was asking "How to catch someones interest, I just know from a photo"^^ What is simply answered with "You have to gamble" ^^

Tinkeringbell

@dhein I think there was a whole dutch news article on tinder etiquette somewhere :)

It was more about writing profiles though

dhein

8:01 AM

Yeah, makes sense. My old me was always like "aweeeh, she looks so beautiful, but how am I supposed to get an clue of what to write her if she has not even any info in her profile?!" My new me is just like "Pff screw her... if she makes not any effort to present herself in her profile, I am not gonna put effort in writing her a message." And just go on swiping ^^

@Tinkeringbell ping xP

Tinkeringbell

@dhein I only tried an online dating site once, and that was a coordinated effort with another (male) classmate because our best friend spent so much time in that chatroom and never talked much to us.

So we made accounts, waited 24h for chat access then started chatting there too, pretending to be interested in each other ;)

dhein

Hahaha how cheeky x)

Tinkeringbell

I wrote asdfjkl;asdfjkl;asdfjkl; (or more of that) in my profile description.

I seriously got a guy asking 'what does that mean', and when I told him it meant nothing and I was just here to talk to a friend that was also on there, he seriously started fishing for my private info... :/

dhein

Yeh, that seems legit then, that that other person was interested in you. Who could resist such a description? :P

Tinkeringbell

Well, luckily the site actually had rules, such as not asking strangers for their private info. So, reported and blocked the next day. Good site :)

dhein

8:07 AM

@Tinkeringbell: sexism aside (since sexism works in both directions), but sadly thats how most men are ^^ I find that so.... abject... And that's why I not rarely feel so ashamed for my gender when being on such platforms.... taking note of the behavior of other men... argh

Tinkeringbell

@dhein Don't worry. I've seen 'ladies' being just as bad. Treating guys like walking talking wallets

Immediately declining people based on looks, then gossiping about 'how dare they even contact me' while they still haven't outgrown their own acne

And also relentlessly chasing 'the cute guy' to the point of totally bashing his current girlfriend (that was middle school/high school)

All in all, my side of the gender line ain't no saints either ;)

dhein

Hahaha I had yesterday an chat with someone just telling she was looking for a man, whos more intelligent than she is. She asked me what I study, as if that was a prequisite to continuing the conversation, and with any of my messages she got more degrading. But she wasn't as smart as she thought and I just let her continue. I waited for her crossing my lines before I took any response to her behavior.

At some point she even insulted me with a hidden statement, and I just told her how her whole attitude isn't ok. I stood calm, but demonstrated she isn't as smart as she thinks she is, by nul…

@Tinkeringbell Hah, the typical burden of having a gender, I assume then? '^.^

Tinkeringbell

A lot of women are looking for men that are higher educated than they are, for some reason ;) I guess it may have something to do with the ability to stay home and raise kids, surviving on only 1 income. I wouldn't mind a guy that had dinner ready when I came home from work :P

@dhein Just that there's people that cross lines everywhere. I really dislike it when people say that e.g. men are the ones to be ashamed of, when women are just as bad in similar cases (but perhaps different ways).

dhein

@Tinkeringbell Well, she mentioned it in a way, of liking to have a conversation with someone being more intelligent than she is. But might just have been an attempt to conceal the real intent, yeah. Especially since she was so focused on trying to figure if I have a university degree. But even in that case her bias was such nonesense. As I have no degree. And still I am a) intelligent and b) my salary is enough to feed through 2 ^^

avazula

Hello people!

dhein

8:20 AM

But on the other hand, I wondered that she kept writing with me, when I started to reprimand her. So maybe she in fact liked having a conversation that way '^.^

Hey ava :3

avazula

o_o creepy

dhein

@avazula Huh?

avazula

@dhein ha shoot this was an answer to Tink's comment on that stranger dude fishing for her private info ...

For some reason it didn't appear as an answer to her comment

dhein

@avazula oh yeah, agreed on that one. But I also must say I agree with her conclusive statement on that behavior in general :)

avazula

@dhein I haven't read everything yet :)

dhein

8:24 AM

@avazula Thought so. Go ahead and don't get disturbed :P

avazula

@dhein now I'm good I think. Well, congrats on your new bulletproof self-confidence :)

Hope you'll find what you're looking for on those dating sites!

JAD

@dhein sounds like a good foundation of a healthy relationship ;)

dhein

@JAD Hey, if it is that what shes looking for? Who am I to judge, I mean I can imagine that there indeed are individuals getting something from such a relationship. '^.^

But I was just bored by that conversation ^^

@avazula Thanks. Not fully bulletproof yet, but I just figured, selfesteem is a rabbit hole, going in both directions. Finally having gotten to a point where I value myself makes others confirm that evaluation, just strengthening it... And I am a bit worried to end up being overconfident... But still... better than what I was before '^.^

@avazula Ah, right now I am not even actively looking for a relation perse anymore. Since I lost my anxiety of getting rejected, I have the first time in my life currently the overcomming to ask my self what I actually am looking for. And I realized, I don't even really know. So all I am looking for currently is figuring out what I am looking for ^^

And that's hard to be failed, I think.

avazula

@dhein Sounds like a good thing to me :)

Tinkeringbell

8:40 AM

Freshly born baby manatee for your enjoyment :)

avazula

Aaaaaaw

Tinkeringbell

Have another:

^ That one is from an official press release, the first one was taken by my brother (who works at that zoo)

dhein

@avazula Same for me :P

@Tinkeringbell Ahhh, I was trying to spot you in the mirroring of the window x) But was a bit confused, as that person making the picture looked quite male :P

avazula

9:23 AM

Do you guys sometimes are frowned upon by your coworkers for being on SE at work?

A J

Yep. By my team lead.

Yet I use it.

avazula

what a shame :( but they're not your manager, only the team lead right?

A J

Rest don't give an eff about it.

@avazula Yep.

avazula

okay. Well if they don't have authority on you and you don't mind then everything's alright I guess :)

I remember some people saying their coworkers complained about that. At my current company no one did (and I'm unsure whether anyone actually noticed it) but I'm afraid it'll get noticed in my future job (open space and everything...)

A J

@avazula Actually, they have authority to get tasks done, which I do within time and still can use SE.

@avazula I'd just look around and see if it's possible. And then start with a little.

dhein

9:28 AM

@avazula Well, I think I might not be the reference here, since my job is to Analyze the origin of interlectual property, doing research if opensource might be consumed from SE posts, it is part of my job to crawl through SE/primarily SO.

avazula

@AJ everything's okay then. Work is done, you get to unwind :)

dhein

@avazula Uh you gonna change job? How ti comes? relocation? Tell us :) <3

avazula

@dhein sure it eases SE usage then :p

A J

@avazula But still he gets frowned upon it. And I don't give a damn.

avazula

@dhein I'm going back to the healthcare industry. I'm gonna work for a company that makes IoT devices for people with lungs diseases. I'm gonna be a python dev, and I'm so excited about it!

A J

9:30 AM

Even though he is looking at my screen right now and I am chatting here with ya.

dhein

@avazula Nice! :) Best of luck with that new job :) Out of curiosity: How did applying go? Did you look for a new job due to relocation? If so, had you to have a lot of interviews? Or was it more like, you just made a one shot bullseye, cause thats what you wanted?

avazula

@AJ hahaha

dhein

@AJ A little passive aggressive, isn't it? xD

And with a little, I mean not just a little ^^

A J

Yeah, he doesn't do anything except looking at other's screens.

avazula

@dhein well, quite honestly, it kinda went that way:

everytime I'm sick at my job I look for new job opportunities on LinkedIn and apply to those that seem interesting, knowing there's like 5% chances I'd actually be contacted about my application

A J

9:34 AM

Come on yaar! If I do finish my work in time, I can do anything during this free time.

avazula

And about a month ago I was actually contacted about it

I had an interview 2 days later

and here we go

@AJ I totally agree with you

A J

I took my first Python project from a friend of mine. Quite excited about it. Since it's an in-house project, there is no time limit. I can finish the project while learning.

avazula

Neat

JAD

cool! Pythons are fun to work with

If you need any help, be sure to drop by in the Litter box ;)

A J

Sure.

avazula

9:41 AM

hahaha

A J

It seems I could use some help here.

dhein

@avazula Hah, I had that same habbit at my previous jobs too. But from ym experiences my rate was far below 5% ^^. Best thing about it: SInce I started at SAP so far it hasn't happened yet, that I had to make use of that habbit :P

avazula

@dhein That's great news!

I'd love it if I could be myself in my new workplace

Ælis

@avazula I wouldn't worry too much about the open space thing. I know some coworkers of mine go through Facebook during work and no one seems to care. Also, being on SE is much more discreet than being on Facebook ^^

Changing subject:

My manager told me about a two days formation (about tests) and it seems very cool and interesting. But every time I think about it, I'm started to freak out about the fact I will have to go there alone ><

avazula

9:57 AM

thanks for sharing that fact :) but you're working in a progressist place ... i'm not sure my future workplace will be that progressist. We'll see

@Ælis Is it in Paris ?

Ælis

@avazula Yep, but what is causing me problem isn't the fact that I need to go there. But the fact that I won't know any one there (plus I'm young, plus I'm a woman)

Tinkeringbell

@avazula My 'special' co-worker did. The rest doesn't mind ;)

avazula

@Tinkeringbell Pfew then :)

Journeyman Geek

@Ælis heh. I have a second laptop open at work with personal stuff ;p

Ælis

@avazula It's progressist in some ways, not in others. Your futur work place might not be that different for this specific point

avazula

9:59 AM

@Ælis :/

Tinkeringbell

Don't have the window open the entire time though! :P

dhein

@Ælis How exactly it comes that being the source of the going alone problem? I mean its just some sort of seminar, or am I misunderstanding this?

Journeyman Geek

@avazula try anyway?

You never get any chance you don't take

avazula

@JourneymanGeek well, that's exactly what I did actually :p

Ælis

@dhein When you go to school or to any social place, you are suppose to have friends. Like, in school, if you are eating alone, you are definitively the weird one. I have never go to a seminar before and I fell exactely how I would feel before my first day in a new school where I don't know anyone. I just want to be invisible and unnotice but being alone makes you more visible that if you weren't

avazula

10:05 AM

@Ælis but the other attendants would be alone as well wouldn't they?

Ælis

@avazula That I don't know. They may not or they may know some others from other seminar. Or they may be all men and old and I will still be the "different" one by being so young (and woman). Things would be much less scarie if I knew what to expect :/

IPS Comment Bot

This is a good suggestion. You can always dispose of it rather than eat it. — bigbadmouse 1 min ago

avazula

@IPSCommentBot tp

IPS Comment Bot

Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps. beep boop My human overlords won't let me flag that, so you'll have to do it yourself.

avazula

@Ælis I understand. Lots of support to you :)

Tinkeringbell

10:10 AM

@Ælis Okay, first start and see if there's a website. That way you can get an idea of the venue and maybe even a bit how it is set up (rooms with presentations? stands?)

Ælis

@avazula Thank you my dear <3

Tinkeringbell

Depending on that, you can work out a plan of attack ;) You can do this :)

Ælis

@Tinkeringbell Thanks for the support :) Trying to find picture of the room it will be in is actually a pretty good idea

Tinkeringbell

@Ælis It usually helps me a lot :) But for a seminar, it sounds like there will be different presentations, and you can usually just move from room to room/presentation to presentation (or be stuck in one big hall). My usual plan of attack is just walk in, find a nice spot to sit, make sure I'm not smelly and look pleasant/open to someone joining me and just wait until someone sits next to me :)

Ælis

@Tinkeringbell They will be different presentations indeed (and I already choose the ones I wanted to watch). But I don't think I will move from room to room, my anxiety won't agree with that :p

Tinkeringbell

10:21 AM

@Ælis Oh, that's hard :/ Usually changing rooms offers good chances of switching neighbors/meeting new people if the one you meet in the first room isn't that nice ;)

Ælis

@Tinkeringbell I will still change room every half day (the seminar is two days in total). But, you seem to have a lot of experience with seminar. How many did you attend to in the past?

Tinkeringbell

Actually, not that many. I helped as a volunteer of a really big one (European Association of Archaeologists, in Den Haag) when in University (and got free access on the other days), I've helped out a few times by doing an information stand on the software engineering study traject when I did that (and after), and I've been to exactly one Open Source Software Development conference in Brussels (dividing time between a stand for work and visiting other presentations/stands).

Most of what I know, I know because I talked with a coach ;)

She enjoyed pointing out those behaviours to me ;)

Ælis

@Tinkeringbell I guess I should talk with my coworker about that too ^^

Tinkeringbell

They can certainly help if they've been to more seminars/conferences and have given their behaviour some thought :)

dhein

10:57 AM

@Ælis I am not sure if this is applicable in your situation, but wouldn't this be more like a first day at school, where everyone has their first day and maybe just a few of them already know coincidentally? So wouldn't it be normal that most there don't know any of the others?

Ælis

@dhein That may or may not be true and the fact that I don't know kind of stress me even more (but thanks to Tink, I'm far less stressed about the whole thing now :) )

dhein

@Ælis Ah, I get you there. so it is more the problem of not knowing what to expect with certainity, rather than a problem with the most likely scenarios. Support for you from my side then aswell :)

@Ælis great :)

Ælis

@dhein Thank you :)

Sandman

11:22 AM

0

A: Sandbox for Proposed Questions

How do determine what gesture of appreciation will be the most efficient? Recently, I decided to learn more about Love languages. According to this website, here is a list of the various way people can show appreciation for someone: Physical touch Gift giving Words of affirmation Act of se...

dhein

11:48 AM

@Ælis: btw how are you? speaking general :)

Ælis

@dhein My mood is globally good these days but I don't really know why. I guess I will just try to enjoy it while it last :) And you, how are you?

dhein

Huh! That sounds awesome. And yeah good plan. Enjoy it :)
Oh I am as good as every day recent weeks, and hence as good as never before :)

Ælis

@dhein Wow, that very nice for you! I hope it will keep going on like this!

dhein

12:03 PM

It will, since it is a result of active intrapersonal conflict resolution. My current state didn't just happen, I actively achieved it, and am very exerted avoiding any influences having caused my previous state. And since I had to get aware of these influences to get where I am now in the first place, it is quite easy to avoid them :)

ElizB

12:18 PM

yawns morning all.

Afternoon! :)

yawns evening

ola

dola

(biceps)

JAD

bola

A J

12:21 PM

> pymysql.err.InterfaceError: (0, '')

Uff

JAD

tssk, you shouldn't (0, ''). Didn't they tell you?

A J

No.

JAD

well. now you know

A J

what's the problem here?

JAD

honestly, not a clue

python error messages can be a bit vague

A J

12:29 PM

@JAD It was very helpful. :P

@JAD It seems so.

JAD

45

Q: InterfaceError (0, '')

I have built a site using Django and I am receiving this annoying error when I am trying to execute a query. If I restart the Apache server, the error will go away for a short time. Traceback: File "/usr/local/lib/python2.7/site-packages/django/core/handlers/base.py" in get_response 100. ...

python mysql django

A J

I have completed two modules till now. ;)

A J

12:46 PM

@JAD Thanks. It is solved.

dhein

@ElizB Gamen x)

JAD

@AJ :)

avazula

1:12 PM

@dhein I'm glad you're feeling super good but where's that darn smiling rock profile pic? :D

I love remote work. I'm litteraly working from my couch. I'm a working couch potato.

IPS Comment Bot

1:30 PM

Hey, I know this is an old answer, but we ask that answers provide some citation that demonstrates the correctness of their answer. It could be personal experience or some sort of reference material. — Rainbacon 1 min ago

Rainbacon

Hey @avazula do you mind if I ask why you performed a specific review task?

dhein

@avazula Work in Progress, He is already wearing fancy sunglasses :P But it is harder to draw a happy smiling stone whos just visibly bursting out positive energy than sighing face with tiredly closed eyes on it ;D

So gimme some time. :D Also being busy with preparing relocation recently ^^

Rainbacon

I was thinking of asking the following question: How can I help someone become more assertive? Before I go through the trouble of actually writing out the post, is that even on topic?

scohe001

@Rainbacon what'd you try and how did it fail (or what were you thinking of trying and why do you think it'll fail)?

Rainbacon

1:45 PM

I hadn't gotten that far. I might sandbox the post, but I wanted to do a quick sanity check to see if questions about helping other people with interpersonal skills would be on topic

scohe001

Hmm I'm asking because that would help me to understand your motivation for the question and whether or not it could be worked into something askable

Like what specifically is making it hard to help them become more assertive?

Rainbacon

Ah

scohe001

Just "I want to help them be assertive" alone seems broad and unanswerable

Tinkeringbell

I think it would be good if you could indicate that they're already open to your help on this. And whether you want some kind of 'lesson' type answer, or more one that focuses on your own behaviour in a situation so that they have to be more assertive?

Rainbacon

Ok, what I'm hearing is that it could be on topic and I should post it in the sandbox to workshop it

Tinkeringbell

1:49 PM

I think questions about teaching other people Interpersonal Skills might make great questions for this site, provided that those other people are open to such t hings :)

scohe001

@Tink I didn't realize there was protocol on closing reopen requests, sorry about that! And thanks for the explanatory comment

Tinkeringbell

@scohe001 I don't think we have one yet, I just nicked that because I saw it on workplace ;)

If no one beats me to it, I might write up a meta asking you what you want to do with them :)

Rainbacon

@Tinkeringbell I'll let someone else take this one, I think I've written enough meta questions for one week 😉

dhein

Just met our ESL team at the watercooler '^.^

JAD

@Tinkeringbell isn't that a topic for IPS Educators SE?

Tinkeringbell

1:58 PM

@JAD For now, let's keep them here? If they become too much of a distraction, we can always request a second site ;)

JAD

Maybe we should also get a history spinoff

Questions about how people interacted in bygone ages

Rainbacon

@Tinkeringbell Well then we're going to have to turn IPS into a massive success, because SE is never going to give us another site if we don't

Tinkeringbell

@JAD I think... I mentioned that before somewhere, not as a spinoff but here ;)

dhein

@JAD Yeah, and an IPS worldbuilding... I could imagine questions like "How to properly excuse in a world with only autists?" :P

TheTinyMan

Hi guys!

IPS Science Fiction Writers?

IPS Puzzling

Tinkeringbell

2:04 PM

@dhein Not? :P

Rainbacon

What about IPS Stack Overflow? So that we can make sure that the chat bots we build are polite and communicate clearly?

Tinkeringbell

2:17 PM

@scohe001 workplace.meta.stackexchange.com/a/5725/74461 interesting read ;)

scohe001

Huh so just make an answer like "This has been reopened. Thank you community, thank you moderators and thank you mom for getting me here." and then accept that?

Tinkeringbell

Yeah, but read the second answer there as well ;)

scohe001

Hmm makes sense. I think it's a little different on a high-traffic site like TWP though

Tinkeringbell

I almost feel we could use status-completed tags, and people that can't add those can flag the post for a mod to do so, given our volume of reopen-requests

scohe001

That's exactly what I was thinking (but only if you mods are okay with that extra workload)

I feel like we have maybe one reopen-request every month or so, so that shouldn't be bad

Tinkeringbell

2:21 PM

Probably worth putting out a meta anyways

I'll try to write one tonight :)

scohe001

Sounds good!

Rainbacon

Would status-complete be a moderator only tag? Or would it be usable by high rep users?

Tinkeringbell

Nope, mod-only.

workplace.meta.stackexchange.com/q/4423/74461 needs to be taken into account too though

Rainbacon

Hmm, is there even a way for there to be a rep-restricted tag?

Tinkeringbell

Perhaps tags aren't such a great thing after all...

@Rainbacon not that I know of

avazula

2:25 PM

@Rainbacon What do you mean? Sorry I was on my break

Rainbacon

@avazula There was a review task in which you and I differed in our handling of it. I wondered if you would mind me asking you why you reviewed it the way you did

avazula

@Rainbacon Sure, which one is it?

Rainbacon

interpersonal.stackexchange.com/review/reopen/16385 This one. I was curious why you choose to edit and reopen when the edit you made was entirely grammar

avazula

@Rainbacon oh, right. Well I didn't want to nominate for reopening. But I really wanted to make that edit because of the language, so ... I edited it and unfortunately it made it stay in the reopening queue.

I just didn't know how to edit without triggering the reopening queue. I'm not sure it's even possible to avoid that.

Rainbacon

Ah, I see. You could always go to the question and do the edit their

avazula

2:31 PM

@Rainbacon True. But it still triggers the reopening queue AFAIK

I tried to withdraw that vote but you actually can't, so

Rainbacon

Well that's true, but it doesn't apply a reopen vote to it. Editing it from the queue with "Edit and Reopen" does

avazula

@Rainbacon Erh. This I didn't know. Are you sure it doesn't automatically cast a vote ?

Rainbacon

It doesn't. It kicks it into the queue, but without adding a vote to it.

avazula

@Rainbacon oh, okay. TIL. Thanks for letting me know :)

Rainbacon

No problem :)

avazula

2:34 PM

there are some things that are quite difficult to learn around SE honestly. I find myself browsing the metas quite often and am frustrated not to find those answers

So I learn by doing :)

Again, I wasn't afraid about that one because I knew it'd stay closed

Rainbacon

Yeah, I don't think there's any way it gets through the queue without some substantial content edits

avazula

agreed

Tinkeringbell

Just remember though: putting something in the reopen queue through edits can only happen once. So, on the off chance that the question is actually edited and improved, now it won't automatically end up in the reopen queue anymore because it already went through once.

So perhaps editing just for spelling/grammar when already on-hold isn't always the best move :)

avazula

@Tinkeringbell I edited because of the language ... grammar fixes were just a byproduct.

But I understand and keep this in mind if I find myself tempted of fixing the spelling :)

Tinkeringbell

Hmmm. Yeah, okay ;)

Missed the language thing, somehow my mind parsed that as grammar/spelling edit too ;)

avazula

2:44 PM

@Tinkeringbell That's because most of my edits are spelling/grammar edits :p

IPS Comment Bot

3:08 PM

Your lunch example makes me anxious to think about, because that's happened to me a bunch. Specifically, the idea that if you very pointedly tell your friends they're making you uncomfortable, they assume you're in on the joke. That really bothers me. Words are how we express discomfort civility; when someone assumes your complaints are a joke, they've taken your only civil approach off the table (so you cleverly went under it). It's easy for friends not to realize that though, so I think it helps to remind them that your complaints on this issue are always genuine, and to please respect them. — Lord Farquaad 1 min ago

avazula

@IPSCommentBot tp

IPS Comment Bot

Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps. beep boop My human overlords won't let me flag that, so you'll have to do it yourself.

That is, I think your "I told you not to hug me" is a good solution after the fact, but a brief conversation about how you're never going to be "in on the joke" when it comes to personal space might help prevent a lot of these incidents from occurring in the first place. — Lord Farquaad 1 min ago

avazula

@IPSCommentBot huh?

IPS Comment Bot

Comment was made 431 days after last activity on post

ElizB

4:04 PM

is the last comment on this answer a bit sarcastic or no? I'm trying to figure this out and how I should respond or not respond at all...

user15026

I don't think it is sarcastic,

ElizB

I wasn't sure but i'm annoyed that the user is not editing the answer as requested... it's not a hard thing to do

Ælis

@ElizB I don't think it's sarcastic, but I would still drop it. If they don't want to work to gain their "internet point" it's not your role to do so.

ElizB

@Ælis Okay :) Glad to hear I made a good decision by just dropping it

Ælis

Maybe you could tell them that their answer will likely be deleted if they doesn't had the link into their post, but I won't do more than that

@ElizB Dropping it is never a bad decision if you ask me. After all, anyone else can take your place if they want to

ElizB

4:10 PM

@Ælis Yeah I don't encourage that though lol I don't want to start fires here

El'endia Starman

... puts away lighter

Oh, that reminds me!

Q: What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
A: One weighs 1.5 tons and the other is a little lighter.

6

scohe001

Hehehe that's a good one

ElizB

slow clapping hehe

scohe001

I feel like that's the kind of thing fortune would spit out

El'endia Starman

Eh?

scohe001

4:14 PM

Fortune (Unix)

fortune is a program that displays a pseudorandom message from a database of quotations that first appeared in Version 7 Unix. The most common version on modern systems is the BSD fortune, originally written by Ken Arnold. Distributions of fortune are usually bundled with a collection of themed files, containing sayings like those found on fortune cookies (hence the name), quotations from famous people, jokes, or poetry. As of November 2017, the quotations (with the exception of tips relevant to system operation) have been removed from FreeBSD entirely after user complaints regarding quotations...

El'endia Starman

Ahhh gotcha.

TheTinyMan

@El'endiaStarman <3

user15026

@El'endiaStarman hahaha I like this

scohe001

Every time I launch a shell it gives me one. Sometimes they're Q/A jokes like that

El'endia Starman

Yeah, it ranks high on my list of favorite puns.

avazula

4:20 PM

@ElizB I agree with AElis here

A J

Evening

Upper_Case

4:42 PM

Hi AJ

ElizB

5:01 PM

@avazula Yeah. :)

Off to my massage appointment! :)

Rainbacon

@ElizB Sounds nice

avazula

@ElizB wooh!

@scohe001 sounds like Docker whale as well!

Sandman

5:27 PM

0

A: Sandbox for Proposed Questions

Proposed Title: How can I help someone become more assertive? Body: My fiancee is what I would call "too nice". She's always trying to please everyone, which often leads to her taking a "grin and bear it" attitude when others expect too much of her. It doesn't matter whether she's interacting w...

Extroverted Main Man

6:51 PM

2

Q: Helping a child enforce boundaries with strangers

I have a four-year-old granddaughter with beautiful curly hair. I had put it in braids and was in the store with her, and an older man came up and flipped the braids, commenting on her hair. I just smiled and she seemed uncomfortable. I've had my hair touched by strangers for all my life, and ...

boundaries children

TheTinyMan

7:09 PM

Those were great comments on that question @Tinkeringbell, I had the same questions but wasn't sure how to approach asking them.

Extroverted Main Man

1

Q: Get to know which neighbor poisoned my dog

On sunday my dog became very sick, the vet did a bloodtest which showed that she had been poisoned. I have 3 neighbors so it’s not quite easy to find out who did it. I have one old man neighbor who does not live there just visits sometimes. I don’t have much contact with him. Other neighbor is a...

neighbors pets

Tinkeringbell

@TheTinyMan When in doubt, just ask :)

'use your words' :P

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell Words are haaaaard! :-p

Tinkeringbell

Upper_Case

My nickname for my fists is "my words"

Tinkeringbell

7:13 PM

Perhaps that helps you find the good ones ;)

Upper_Case

well, "words"

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell Here I am now, cracking up at work

@Upper_Case Because of both of you xD

Tinkeringbell

Thought you used to work from home? :P

TheTinyMan

Only occasionally, if I have to :-P

I have an answer but I don't have decent backup, although I'm breaking down the 'why's as far as I can, I guess? Is that valid?

Rainbacon

@TheTinyMan I'm in the same boat

Tinkeringbell

7:16 PM

Ehhh... rather not :(

To the child enforcing boundaries thing?

TheTinyMan

Yeah

Tinkeringbell

Well, what my parents used to do was 'that wasn't nice, huh Tink?'

TheTinyMan

I feel like that's the situation I've been in in most of my answers that have been highly rated. xD

I have no idea what my parents used to do :-p

Upper_Case

@TheTinyMan People seem to loathe expertise

TheTinyMan

But I don't think my advice matches what my parents used to do

@Upper_Case "Expertise" remains a confusing descriptor, for me, for IPS topics

Tinkeringbell

7:17 PM

google.com/… of any help perhaps?

if you can find one link that supports your suggested approach, go for answering! :)

@TheTinyMan see our citation expectation post!

Upper_Case

@TheTinyMan In the IPS.SE context, it seems to cover any personal experience or methodical examination and reflection on a topic

Tinkeringbell

10

Q: What are the citation expectations of answers on IPS Stack Exchange?

As a Stack Exchange site, answers on Interpersonal Skills SE are expected to be cited and backed up, but what the expectations are exactly can be hard to find. So we've adapted an excellent post on citation expectations from RPG SE Meta for use on Interpersonal Skills as well. What are the citat...

support answers faq-proposed

Upper_Case

(tongue in cheek)

Tinkeringbell

@Upper_Case Ehh, the last one preferably done by others than yourself.

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell But I am a professional interpersonal person! I talk to people at work at least once a week!

Tinkeringbell

7:19 PM

Sure, but we want at least one other person that wrote it down before you did :P It's really mean perhaps, but otherwise there's no distinction to be made between methodical examination and armchair philosophy ;)

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell Aha! Hey, Tink, repeat after me! ;-)

Tinkeringbell

@TheTinyMan Nope. Go use that google search I linked, I'm sure you'll find something ;)

TheTinyMan

Wait, no, that's writing it down after I did. Heck.

IPS Comment Bot

yeah, you sound paranoid — only_pro 37 secs ago

Matched regex(es) ["short-comment"]

scohe001

Damn @Tink was that you?

Tinkeringbell

7:21 PM

Yep

scohe001

That was before the bot even finished printing the comment info

O_O

This parrot's on fire

IPS Comment Bot

Have you tried "please don't touch my daughter"? — only_pro 1 min ago

Matched regex(es) ["possible-aic"]

Tinkeringbell

I was hoping for a reply to Upper_Case's comment there. So lurking ;)

scohe001

Ahh so that's your secret :P

Rainbacon

@IPSCommentBot tp

IPS Comment Bot

7:23 PM

Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps. beep boop My human overlords won't let me flag that, so you'll have to do it yourself.

Upper_Case

I always get frustrated when I'm unable to update my "default" interpretation of acronyms

TheTinyMan

I just realized how ironic a parrot focusing on interpersonal skills is

@Upper_Case like fps?

Upper_Case

I read the Comment Bot's flag as "possible Akaike Information Criterion"

which would have been a very surprising catch

TheTinyMan

Mutiny! posts answer

does not actually do that

user15026

@TheTinyMan That one does trip me up

Ælis

7:33 PM

@IPSCommentBot rude

IPS Comment Bot

Registered as rude. beep boop My human overlords won't let me flag that, so you'll have to do it yourself.

IPS Comment Bot

8:07 PM

If you've never had a conflict with any of your neighbors, why do you suspect an intentional poisoning? Typically if someone were upset enough about your dog to poison it, they would have complained to you in the past about barking or dog poop or something. — David K 24 secs ago

Matched regex(es) ["experimental-aic(@scohe001)"]

Upper_Case

@IPSCommentBot fp

IPS Comment Bot

Marked this comment as caught incorrectly (fp). Currently marked 0tps/1fps

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