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12:44 AM
Q: Giving feedback to someone behaving impolitely

Eric AuldI live in an urban area where there are not enough parking spaces for all the apartments, so residents need to use street parking. Street parking space is scarce and coveted. There's a guy on our street who has no fewer than three cars that he keeps parked on the street all the time. He only uses...

1 hour later…
2:00 AM
There I go. Posting things again. You'd think I'd learn my lesson to just keep quiet.
2:12 AM
@bruglesco it's been a rough week :(
I flagged a bunch of stuff yesterday and read through comments... not really today, there's just too much
might try to draw cat pictures in a bit instead :)
There is too much. I often need to take a break.
But I keep going back for more.
it'll still be there after your break. or, it won't, because it was bad and not worth seeing anyways
Or it will, because most of it gets upvotes rather than flags
Most of it is ugly but it is good to see the people who are out there putting up a fight
I'm pretty sure most of the stuff I flagged got removed eventually, if it helps
yeah same. I am just being a bit. . . pessimistic
That's not the right word
Because the ugly stuff is getting upvotes before it gets removed
2:26 AM
yeah.. :(
2:41 AM
hmm I just tried to get a fresh cute cat picture to cheer up the room but Juno was not cooperating. I have a great one of her looking very concerned through a gate now though :P
Willie is just sleeping on our grocery bags, as usual
he's pretty cute sometimes :)
2 hours later…
4:26 AM
I think the fact that I am out of votes is telling me to take a 16hr break from MSE
Ya, that seems like a good idea
4 hours later…
8:36 AM
@bruglesco I'd take a few weeks. It works wonders ;)
8:52 AM
@Tinkeringbell right? All this time I keep thinking to myself how smart that move of yours really was
@M.A.R. I might just follow Geek eventually. You can't have fires, but complain about the smoke, and if people keep starting fires then complaining about the smoke, I'm not going to be the one wafting all the smoke away.
But it needs a bit more thought.
9:32 AM
I just stumble upon this facebook video of a cat basically trolling their human(s), I thought you might appreciate it: facebook.com/GiFi.Officiel/videos/462820341216321/…
2 hours later…
11:15 AM
Q: How do i bring up with my parents that i'm trans-gender

user26766I want to come out to my parents that i'm trans-gender so i can start with my Hormone Replacement Therapy. i do believe they will be supportive since when talking about relationships (because of something on TV) my mother would reiterate that she would be fine if her child was gay. the problem i ...

11:48 AM
Why do cats hate things so much?
1 hour later…
1:14 PM
@EmC wow, you're a mod on IPS and you question that?
Wait, whoops, it was a one flag deletion
I think the OP's gonna get confused why they can't find their comment :/
Nah, my conscience is clear. As mud.
@ankii watching gothic animes
Dogs, on the other hand, watch old cheesy buddy cop shows
1 hour later…
2:28 PM
WARNING MSE LINK!! : Would anyone be willing to look at this answer I wrote and tell me if it is unclear? A highly upvoted comment claims it lacks context but I am not sure how to improve it.
@bruglesco More like ... remember how everyone in here was quite happy with that edit I made, switching out sex/gender for 'salutation', last week? People are starting fires... and then complaining about the smoke.
very very true
@bruglesco I read it this morning (the comment was already there) and I didn't find anything lacking (but it's worth noting that I didn't read the actual question is I find the title already bad enough)
@Ælis yeah the question is quite bad
@Tinkeringbell The problem is that seeing a lot of the venom out there go unchallenged is hurtful. So I make it a point to go out there and challenge it because there are people who are less willing to be vocal about than me and I want them to see that some people are challenging it. Just as it is some comfort for me to see all the others out there doing it too. I feel slightly less alone.
In all honesty, I wouldn't have bothered reading the answers either but I was curious to know what answer you had posted on meta (since you mentioned it in here). So, really, I just read the question title + your answer ^^
2:42 PM
But I don't want to bring the drama to this room so I will stop now. Sorry.
@Ælis <3
@bruglesco It's okay. I messed up by starting it :) Take care of yourselves though!
@bruglesco <3
@Tinkeringbell I'll try. Not always my stong suit.
Since we are linking to MSE stuff, could people took a look at this comment and flag it? (I personally find it rude but feel free to flag as you wish or not flag at all)
@bruglesco So, let's switch subject than! How is your weekend going?
@Ælis Pretty uneventful so far. (other than drama on the interwebs) I have a midterm for Trig I need to take so I have been stressed and procrastinating that.
2:55 PM
@bruglesco Arf :/ Good luke with your Trig though!
Also, to help (hopefully) with the stress:
Speaking of cats, I visited a cat shelter this afternoon with my grandparents, I now definitively know that I don't want a cat in a 17m2 apartment, but it was still nice to be able to pet them :)
@Ælis aww!! Thanks. The cats have definitely been helping.
You're welcome :) <3
3:52 PM
Could I please get help getting a birthday present for my dad?
I will explain some details and then leave questions open
He doesn't drink
He doesn't do DIY for fun
He doesn't grill or do any sport
His primary hobby is driving out to meet up with his friends and just talking
He is a veteran and a former cop.
He despises the music of his youth
I already got him an Ancestry DNA kit last Father's Day
@JohnnyApplesauce Hey there, if you want to make a present for your dad, you should probably make a list of what he likes, not the opposite ^^
I know, I'm just filtering out the suggestions that Google gives instantly
So, what does your dad talk about with his friends? Do they also eat/play games when meeting up?
It's a little grating seeing stereotypical American activities being presented as ideal Father's day gifts
Oh, the friends, yes
No, they don't do any game of any sort
They eat at restaurants
They talk about... memories, things that have happened to them before, family life,
current events
Maybe he could enjoy some book that talks about something linked to his past? Like a book talking about the town he grew up in, or something like that?
4:00 PM
I've already given him a four inch knife and a veteran's cap
Ah, a book, haven't thought of that
Also, I know my grandparents love to see photos of us (me and my siblings). And it doesn't matter if the pictures are old or new. So, maybe your dad could enjoy some family/friend picture album?
I just remembered an interest of his, he likes aviation
I have got an idea. Thank you rubber duck person
You're welcome ^^
4:32 PM
In addition to what Ælis said, if he likes hanging out with friends and talking about memories... there's this Dutch thing where you gift 'activities' or 'memories to make'. They're mostly gift cards (and either expensive or your dad will have to add money himself)...
They range from tickets to an amusement park/swimming pool and vouchers for movie tickets (for younger people) to wine/beer/whiskey tastings, restaurant vouchers, rock climbing, skydiving... Perhaps you can give him an 'experience' for him and his friend(s) ;)
I'm so sick of (presumably) cis males saying stuff like: "The only effect of those new rules is to alienate the same people there was suppose to protect". What about letting us speak for yourself? (you know, instead of saying stuff that aren't true/that not everyone in the community agrees with) #rant
Sorry I pointed you at that question
Oh no, I actually saw a bunch of those, so it's really not about just one question
that's fair. It was just very... condensed... there
Would silly songs help?
4:45 PM
The songs probably won't help, but you trying to help probably will <3
@Tinkeringbell Won't they always!
ohh yeah @Ælis definitely said it better
I learned that one while on an archaeology internship. It always cheers me up when I have to cook :P
I assume you are talking about cooking salad? :p
Nah, in general. Though it always works best when peeling potatoes, or chopping up vegetables (which, besides waiting for stuff to actually be cooked, I find the worst part of cooking ;) )
True that peeling and chopping stuff is always annoying because it takes so long (and you mostly can't do anything else at the same time).
4:51 PM
In any case, thanks for the song, I like the melody very much, it's "catchy"
Yeah, that's why we all picked up so easily on it during internship, I guess... Good memories. Whenever we were cooking, there'd be 10+ people singing that song, and peeling potatoes or cleaning vegetables.
That sound like good times indeed :)
I wish I had known about that song before I got out of food service.
4:55 PM
I'm sorry! I didn't know you before you got out of food service ;)
Oh don't be sorry!
Oh. Okay, then I'm not sorry for not meeting you sooner? :P
That kinda makes me sound mean though...
Let's instead celebrate that we met when we did which was the perfect time in both our lives for such an occurence!
Yeah, let's do that :D
It's a bit of a quiet party, it seems...
5:04 PM
I'm busy reading things I shouldn't be reading
^ me, every time I go to church :/
yeah. I don't think I'd be welcome in one of those anymore.
There are some, I've heard... but they're like unicorns, they don't exist around here
yeah. It's not important to me to find one though.
Eh, I messed things up again, didn't I? We were so well on our way with the silly song!
5:10 PM
ohh that wasn't a sad direction
Oh, glad to hear that :)
Why not just make one? :troll:
Because I was making myself sad thinking about church :P
@El'endiaStarman One with blackjack?
ohh sorry
@Tinkeringbell I feel like that's been done, actually.
5:12 PM
@El'endiaStarman I did once wonder what our church services would be like, if there were like heavy metal flames coming out of the pipe organ XD
Looong ago XD
@Tinkeringbell That might make it worth going back for.
@bruglesco It would certainly add a bit of flavour to the 'burn in hell' sermons ;)
I always liked the organ. We never had many good players, but if we had... I'd spent the whole service enjoying it, to the point where I would sometimes get chided for forgetting to at least mouth the words to the psalms we were singing!
Can we have the guitar riffs too?
ohh I'm in
5:17 PM
Let's start our own church
@ankii o/
We could just put a steeple on top of this chatroom? :P
@ankii Evening!
Just had dinner :)
Same here (although that was already half an hour ago, I don't know if that still counts as 'just').
@Tinkeringbell can't we have a custom theme like, TSR?
5:19 PM
@ankii I think that's for graduated sites only.
If they even do get custom chat themes.
Oh something close to mid night is also evening?
you could have a look there, chat.stackexchange.com/rooms/1888/the-screening-room Screening room
@ankii I know that room, used to hang out there regularly before.
ah I thought so.. I think I remember seeing you there
@bruglesco Oi, I don't really appreciate that sound...
5:22 PM
ohh sorry
it does look interesting..
Some physics person can explain this? Best I can guess is harmonics, which is no better than a guess never made.
@bruglesco No worries! It does look cool but just ... I dunno. Annoying? :P
It wasn't the most pleasant, no. But I couldn't find any good videos very fast and didn't want to look any longer.
I actually came to help generate some feedback for @cal on this comment of his
Welcome to IPS.SE! I appreciate your effort but unfortunately, this question appears to be asking “What should I do?”, which the community has determined to not be a good fit for Interpersonal Skills Stack Exchange. We can’t decide for you what to do; after you determine what you want to do, we can help you with your goal, but we can’t make these decisions for you. Sorry. — CaldeiraG 22 hours ago
Something that makes it less shutting
@ankii More specifically, standing waves.
Which are related to harmonics.
5:27 PM
There is a slim chance that OP may want to talk to the girl in question about the situation, it being a serious situation
@El'endiaStarman ah right! came across this term after an year I think..
though studied it in detail 4 years ago..whatever was the standard of detail at that time.
5:48 PM
I am not replying *-*
hypothesis was wrong.
6:09 PM
I think the bot is broken
@ankii Seems like this is a canned comment: see here. So, I guess 1) Maybe we shouldn't use Arwen canned comment? or 2) Maybe we should edit this canned comment
No no it's fine everything is fine nothing is on fire.
@bruglesco Don't worry, I just fixed it ^^
@Ælis I thought so too. I have seen this comment on one other post too.
and option 2 FTW
@bruglesco in this room, was the discussion. chat.stackexchange.com/rooms/63296/the-closet
6:18 PM
A: Sandbox for Proposed Questions

AGirlNamedAndaraHow do I gauge my boss's feelings on social justice I am a transwoman. I am in the closet. I am starting to transition so staying in the closet long-term isn't an option. Before I come out of the closet I would like to gauge how I think people are going to react to the news. Tailoring how I broa...

6:44 PM
@ankii I just move the order of the comments so that a random user is less likely to pick it, I think this will do the trick
@Sandman @bruglesco The "losing your job" part sounds very bad, I'm sorry for that :/
@Ælis Removing it entirely could also be an option.
It isn't just losing my job but also the potential of becoming unhirable
It's not like it was the result of a lot of work... it was written once in about two minutes and then just copied out of laziness.
@user58 It wasn't mine so I was afraid Arwen might take offense, but if you don't mind it, I'll see what I can do about that ^^
If there's a better option, so better to just use that instead of using something that has proved to be sub-optimal. No offense will be taken. ;)
6:48 PM
@Ælis besides the at-will thing, there are pretty much no protections in the US for discrimination on the basis of being trans :/
(.. unless that supreme court case from last week was decided in a good way.. brb googling)
@bruglesco Yeah, that sounds also very bad :/ (but since it can also be the case in France, it didn't struck me as much as the losing your job part)
Which is why I want to find a way to guess at how they feel about it
and also wait as long as possible to tell anyone
@user58 Poof
(returns from googling ok I think it was just argued so far, not decided. this article has some overview)
yes it just happened
The court is pretty conservatively made. Not a lot of people are confident
6:55 PM
btw what script do people use for canned comments? the discussion just now reminded me I should set that up
technically my city has protections but in the US it is almost impossible to fight a case like this without money anyway. Which I don't have.
@bruglesco I'm sorry life is so crappy for you :/ At least most people at my work are more open-minded. They are totally ok with lgb people (not sure about the "t") and use "inclusive writing" (more or less the French version of gender-neutral way of writing). I did had one coworker who made the "I identify as a helicopter attack" joke once, but he is gone now \o/
@EmC None, I search for the meta post every time x)
@Ælis haha yeah I've been using that + a google doc so far :P
@EmC Google doc for specific mod comments? Wouldn't it be worth it to also add them into the meta post?
@Ælis Thanks! I'm glad the apache a-hole is gone. \o/
7:01 PM
Yeah, not punching him in the face when working with him was hard (because, you know, he is also sexist a-hole and, thus, anything I might have said was valueless...)
@Ælis eh, a lot of my doc is slight variations of the existing ones, sentence fragments, explaining a mod deletion. and links of various posts that are useful to reference
@Ælis shocking that the transphobe was also sexist
I know, right??? :O
@EmC we can't even move it to metas as it is opposed in principle.
/me thinking really hard: "Should I troll this MSE question?" Oh my..., this is really tempting >>
7:07 PM
. . . they say, it increases insensitivity. But in practice, it is fast, useful and .. so much more.
@Ælis The sad thing is I know that user from over at Writing and I feel for them
@Ælis they should see a question that lasted for ~90 seconds before getting deleted as rude and getting OP a suspension of 7 days. (un)luckily I have the text copied and it is.. bad.
They had a lot of trouble integrating into the site because of a language barrier and Monica was instramental in helping them become an active member
Writing has been hurt disproportionately more than other sites.
Yeah, I can see how this user, and every writing user might feel really bad after Monica demoded :/ To be honest, I'm kind of glad I wasn't more invested in writing. I know I would have a very, very, very hard time if one of the IPS mod were to be fired
(It's still a bad question that is stirring more animosity)
7:12 PM
@ankii hm? I mean, I already put the comments I thought could be generally useful there, the rest I think are mostly "only makes sense coming from a mod" or "a dozen tiny variations on 'hi can you add backup'" (which I keep because words are hard sometimes, but I think would be a lot of noise to post since people are encouraged to tailor the template comments anyways)
"since people are encouraged to tailor the template comments" -> /me go hide
@EmC yeah, the policymakers left such comment management upto people themselves.
@Ælis ;P
just "encouraged", fortunately I have not seen anyone post [summarize question here] verbatim yet :P
Ahah x) Yeah, I try to remove those before posting "my" comment x)
@bruglesco That was quick! Don't expect too much reaction (view/upvote/comment/answer) during the weekend though
ohh yeah I forgot it is sat
In fairness I have been thinking about this question for some time so I already had it fairly honed
7:30 PM
I just stumble into an article where someone (in France) had been fired because they revealed to their employer that they were on the autism spectrum... And everything was (mostly) totally legal because it was during the probation period. This word is crap...
Yeah, but it makes me even more glad that I found a workplace so tolerant (my boss knows I'm on the spectrum and some coworkers do too and it's really not an issue). I'm pretty sure my last workplace would have fired me over that too (well, I guess they more or less did, they just didn't know I was like that because I was on the spectrum)
Q: How do I determine my boss's position on transgender rights?

AGirlNamedAndaraI am a transwoman. I am in the closet. I am starting to transition so staying in the closet long-term isn't an option. Before I come out of the closet I would like to gauge how I think people are going to react to the news. Tailoring how I broach the subject to the individual, if done well, can m...

7:56 PM
(warning: sarcasm) Wahoo, such a nice comment telling me that there is a lot of humans who would want everyone in my country to be dead!!!
I mean, yeah, maybe that's true. But is that a reason to telling me so???
Staying off of Meta.SE might be a good idea at this point.
@Ælis poof
@user58 Probably, but I can't prevent people from commenting under my post which then pings me and... well, I guess I'm just too curious for my own good :/
@bruglesco Pfiou, thank you, this comment was really... I don't even have words for that :/
yah. that was a bit... ugly
I've seen a few really truly awful comments so far and that was one
At least, this one wasn't transphobe \o/ laughing hystericaly
8:04 PM
whelp I need to go. gonna go make the wife a nice birthday dinner
@bruglesco Oh that sounds nice! Also sound like a healthy distraction ^^ Take care :)
@ankii Did anyone provide feedback? :p
see Aelis' message about Arwen
@CaldeiraG The feedback was: We deleted the canned comment that you use. You won't be able to use this canned comment ever again ^^
8:14 PM
@Ælis Oh crap and yeah, i ripped the comment off there
the question was deleted?
question is gone tho
there ya go
@CaldeiraG Ahah, no worry. It was good that someone pointed out that it might not be very welcoming ^^
@Ælis Thanks for reviewing it then ^^
@Ælis how'd you talk to Arwen ?
8:16 PM
well, good i checked out the website today :P
because weekend is like my off-time, so I can do some gaming, catch up on some tv shows and stuff :)
@ankii Hum, that's not really for me to tell ^^ If Arwen wish you to know, I'm sure you will
Ah.. I just checked comments and it wasn't there..
Yep, you definitively won't see a comment about that under the post. I'll just have to take my word for it ^^
I think I might answer a bit bruglesco's question, even though I never had a corporate boss
just some friends' experience
As long as there is enough details, using someone else experience is definitively fine :)
8:23 PM
any chance you're experienced with multi model gaussians? stats.stackexchange.com/questions/431171/…
@ankii oh but of course. It's one of the most crucial components of being good at interpersonal skills
I didnt want to go hunt for people with accounts at stats and IPS both..
@M.A.R. Don't troll ankii, would you? x)
partially because I dont know SEDE
@ankii And sorry, just hearing those words make me want to run away in fear :p
8:27 PM
Aliens are scary. Bonus points if they're from Gauss
posted on meta, time to hide from my notifications xP
@Ælis oopsie... I should have added nsfw or ymmv or open at your own risk tag
Has there been a good but classic alien movie lately?
I mean, Arrival is great but it's not a classic gorefest
old one but Paul
Not what I had in mind either
8:29 PM
@M.A.R. Alien (1979) ... oh wait you said lately :P
That's lately I guess . . . geologically speaking
@ankii I'm of the firm opinion Pegg and Frost should be left alone and not contaminated with any Rogen
Q: Are bars in Italy using pasta as straws?

Jon.GIt’s being reported in a lot of places that bars in Italy are using pasta as straws: 1 ,2, 3, 4. They all cite the same source of a Reddit post here, with a picture of one of these pasta straws in use. There is also a number of mentions to "Stroodles" which is a company that seems to make these ...

This is a very important issue and we need a nonhealthy amount of skepticism to isolate the smallest tinge of lies from the truth.
@M.A.R. I just asked my partner and he recommended you check out YouTube movies because, and I quote, "there's one on there with a great big honkin' alien face"
"big honkin' alien face" Sounds like they're recommending Jurassic World
@EmC Nice post Em :) Also, I was positively surprised that this question wasn't actually a troll (like, you know, mostly all questions with the word "pronouns" posted on MSE lately)
@M.A.R. hahaha, I really have no idea
8:33 PM
The second one was so confused with the message it was sending it was probably a YouTube movie
@Ælis T_T tell me about it
@EmC 1980s people would have such a bad impression of aliens as compared to .. ours?
@Ælis thanks :) yeah - it's written by a mod, so I think they're just trying to help, especially since a lot of people seem to be angry at anything coming from SE right now..
@ankii Maybe a better taste. YMMV.
Wait, you mean you just posted something on meta.SE?
yep, gotta regain some rep after all the downvoting I've been doing lately ;P
@M.A.R. I meant what the movie presented aliens as, definitely changed(changes) people's mind.
(haven't seen the movie yet tho)
8:38 PM
@ankii Uh . . . I think we should meet them first to tell whether they'd be offended or not
@EmC I'm reading their version of the FAQ right now and I'm like <3 <3 <3
If they manage to travel this far, they'd probably know so much more than us that we'd be like
. . .
So EmC posted a post, or?
answer, to a new CoC- by a mod. you can see answered by Em C on homepage
Scratches head such things exist?
@M.A.R. lol here, I will make it easy for you meta.stackexchange.com/a/335308/401104
8:40 PM
in Tavern on the Meta on Meta Stack Exchange Chat, 2 hours ago, by M.A.R.
@Nat http://nooooooooooooooo.com/
It's the TL;DR; post!
@M.A.R. isn't there an xkcd about this somewhere.. that the proof aliens are intelligent is that they've steered clear of our planet
@EmC Or they decoded Twilight or Fifty Shades of Grey or something like that
I can't find it, but I did find en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zoo_hypothesis
Meh, too Star Trek-y
... you're not implying there's something wrong with Star Trek, are you?! :o
8:44 PM
Avoids eye contact It's, uh, better than Star Wars
@EmC well that was easy.
Why do people that read always have it easy
reading's good for ya
unless you're in a car and get motion sickness
then it's quite bad
Only for the mind
Notably, sometimes it even becomes a form of procrastinating for me
Was it 58 that linked that Medium thing, I dunno, I forgot. But that we have idolized reading to this extent might be harmful for the portion of the crowd that do read
hm, doesn't sound familiar
harmful in what way?
8:51 PM
In that it becomes another form of procrastination
To just read things because it's good for your brain is not clearly defined
ohh. well, all things in moderation, of course :)
my mom regularly kicked me out of the house as a kid so I wouldn't sit inside reading all day
K, my camp's lights are about to be off.
9:32 PM
@M.A.R. Not me, doesn't sound familiar.
@Ælis As @JourneymanGeek would put it, Gareth's good people.

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