The Awkward Silence

12:03 AM

@Rainbacon I think it just looks like you edited and takes it out of the queue, but the editor also gets the +2 approval for it?

oh wait - meta.stackexchange.com/questions/76251/… search for "What does the "Improve Edit" button do", it is slightly more complicated than that :P

Extroverted Main Man

12:32 AM

0

Q: How to ask my friend to tell her support group she was sexually assaulted?

Preface For the sake of my friend, I want to convince/ask her to talk to her extended support group about the situation. This is a decision she has to make herself and I really think that it’d help to disclose it to her family. I am not asking for professional help or advice. The goal is to bri...

A J

1:49 AM

@Rainbacon Yes, suggested edit gets applied and you can also do edits which you think are missing.

Em C

2:33 AM

→ 6 messages moved to Trash

Extroverted Main Man

5:46 AM

0

Q: Considering breaking up with my girlfriend

I am a sophomore in college and have been in a long-distance relationship with my girlfriend from high school for the whole time. I feel like I have something special with her because we seldom argue, have similar tastes in humor, constantly support each other, and I think I would be happy to mar...

relationships

avazula

8:02 AM

Yello!

Alex

You're missing a "w".

avazula

No, that's a yelled "hello", not a bright yellow greeting :D

Tinkeringbell

Morning

Alex

That's a bright red greeting.

avazula

:3

JAD

8:11 AM

ola

A J

8:42 AM

@avazula Jello!

@AJ Cello!

@AJ Jelly

@avazula VIOLA!

@JourneymanGeek ? :p

@avazula Contrabass

8:43 AM

Double bass? ;p

JAD

Contrabass

Contrabass (from Italian: contrabbasso) refers to a musical instrument of very low pitch—generally one octave below bass register instruments. While the term most commonly refers to the double bass (which is the bass instrument in the orchestral string family, tuned lower than the cello), many other instruments in the contrabass register exist. The term "contrabass" is relative, usually denoting a very low-pitched instrument of its type, rather than one in a particular range. For example, the contrabass flute's lowest note is approximately an octave higher than that of the contrabass clarinet....

oh right

english word refers to a group of instruments

uh, yeah, double bass :P

Noon

10:11 AM

0

Q: Building a library of canonical questions?

Following this discussion, I think we should "build a library" of canonical questions (on meta) that are off-topic for the IPS format but still interesting. The question is: What format do we want to use for those canonical questions? What kind of question do we want? Are they some that we do...

discussion questions

Introverted Meta Man.

10:41 AM

-1

Q: Building a library of canonical questions?

Following this discussion, I think we should "build a library" of canonical questions (on meta) that are off-topic for the IPS format but still interesting. The question is: What format do we want to use for those canonical questions? What kind of question do we want? Are they some that we do...

discussion questions

avazula

12:38 PM

→ 11 messages moved to Trash

Rainbacon

1:19 PM

Good morning everyone!

JAD

1:39 PM

5 hours ago, by JAD

ola

Tinkeringbell

Hello!

Heh. This is nice. I opened a chat with a vendor, because one of the books I ordered arrived damaged today.

'We always reply within two minutes'

Reply I got: Hi! You're talking to X, I'm going to ask around'

And while that was within two minutes, we're now 5 minutes in and still no reply/answer

Rainbacon

That sounds very annoying

Tinkeringbell

Well, it definitely makes me think less of 'within two minutes' :P

On the other hand, I don't have to hold a phone to my ear now, so... chat is better?

Rainbacon

I think chat is always better. I hate talking on phones

Tinkeringbell

I like this better too. I had three questions, and I could just type them out, send them... and now wait for a reply :)

JAD

1:50 PM

hmm, interesting part of a stored procedure I bumped into:

-- some basic checks for things we cannot handle
declare @Msg varchar(max);
if (1 + 1 = 3) begin
  set @Msg = N'BOEM';
  raiserror (@Msg, 11, 1);
end;

@Msg was not used anywhere else :S

Rainbacon

Ummm...

Tinkeringbell

That looks like someone made someone else angry, and the angry person thought: WELL IF I REALLY HAVE TO CHECK FOR THINGS WE CANNOT HANDLE, I'M GOING TO CHECK FOR THINGS WE CANNOT HANDLE! if 1 + 1 = 3 :P

JAD

Knowing the DBAs, more likely they're just joking around

Rainbacon

I just recently started a new project at work, on my first day in the code base I found this

<ng-container *ngIf="false && backButton">
<button mat-flat-button type="button" (click)="goBack()">Back</button>
</ng-container>

JAD

Also judging from the actual error message

Tinkeringbell

1:54 PM

Anyway, it's not used. Dead code, so delete it!

JAD

who says it's not used?

that SP is ran very frequently

Tinkeringbell

@JAD that line?

JAD

and it never hurts to check if basic arithmetic still works

Tinkeringbell

OOh wait.. else

JAD

yea

Tinkeringbell

1:56 PM

I missed the else

JAD

what else?

Tinkeringbell

the else after anywhere

JAD

there's more in that SP :P

stuff that actually does someything

Tinkeringbell

Now that we're talking code... anyone ever heard of having 'decision' methods and 'work' methods?

Rainbacon

@Tinkeringbell No, but that sounds interesting

Tinkeringbell

1:59 PM

My co-worker is convinced that if I use e.g. what he calls a 'decision' method (where I basically do a bunch of if-else checks to return something as true/false)... if I end up in the part where it's 'true' and I have a handle on the object, I'm not supposed to cache it right then and there, but return it and have that caching done in a 'work' method

I can kinda see what that means, but I proposed refactoring it into two different methods (instead of adding yet another parameter)... and he just wants the extra parameter

JAD

well. I think Java explicitly differentiates Predicates and that sort of stuff

Tinkeringbell

Java is a nicely typed language. I'm working with untyped stuff, parameters are nasty

Also... optional parameters are a possibility, to make stuff more fun

JAD

hmm

Tinkeringbell

and now the method returns _true, a set of two, and a location. With the last two being entirely optional :/

JAD

just because a language isn't strongly typed doesnt mean types cant be an aspect in design

Tinkeringbell

2:02 PM

I find it ugly, but hey, he seems happy

JAD

but his solution doesn't seem to go the way I expected it to go

Rainbacon

It kind of sounds ugly, and I'll second @JAD's point about types as a design aspect in weakly typed languages

Tinkeringbell

Yeah... the design here is not so good.

Rainbacon

@Tinkeringbell Welcome to my life. I'm a consultant, the only people who hire us are people who make designs so bad that they end up with problems they don't know how to fix

Tinkeringbell

I guess I'll stick with programming for a while :P

I'm not pretending to know a lot about designs... but having this codebase and his way of working... it's not at all like I feel I can be proud of the code I write :/

Rainbacon

2:13 PM

If design isn't part of programming, then I'm really scared of the code

JAD

After doing a bunch of stuff in C# I found it really hard to go back to R. Stuff's so fragile. Everything relies on the expectation that passed parameters are the way you expect them to be, and if not, the whole ship comes crashing down

@Rainbacon Design: Well, there's Main(string[] argv).

Async is only relevant if you use methods after all :P

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: Tactifully telling my cousin that she does too much chores

My cousin is a wonderful person, she is a feminist, ecologist, etc.. activist, she cares a lot about people and I really love her (I see her and her family ~once a month for the weekend). As a feminist, my cousin knows a lot about "mental load" and the problems with chores distribution in a coup...

conflict-aversion family

Noon

3:25 PM

@IPSCommentBot tp

TheTinyMan

3:38 PM

@Tinkeringbell I really, really hate untyped languages. And weakly typed languages. :-P

Rainbacon

@TheTinyMan Me too. Strong typing FTW!

El'endia Starman

*makes cross sign with fingers*

Tinkeringbell

4:18 PM

@TheTinyMan Heya! Now I know how to get you out of hiding :P

El'endia Starman

@Tinkeringbell JavaScript or Python? Or a different language?

Extroverted Main Man

4:39 PM

0

Q: How to politely decline an equipment rent request?

Recently, my acquaintance asked me to do him a favor. He wants to rent my ski googles for a week-end (2 days). I don't really want to lend them to him, because we are not close at all, furthermore the googles are a present and are quite expensive. I'm also not sure about their safeness. How ca...

conversations friends awkward-situations etiquette boundaries

Tinkeringbell

@El'endiaStarman Magik (GE Smallworld, proprietary language)

TheTinyMan

@Tinkeringbell Talk about painful code? ;-)

El'endia Starman

@Tinkeringbell Oh boy, proprietary languages.

Tinkeringbell

4:58 PM

@TheTinyMan Apparently ;)

@El'endiaStarman Yeah, really nice, really easy (not)

Tinkeringbell

5:22 PM

Found the first interesting claim in this book on etiquette: That apparently the Dutch equivalent of 'How are you, sir/madam?' (Hoe maakt u het?) originated from people asking after the working of each others intestines/gastro-intestinal tract.... And thus the correct answer is always 'I'm fine, thank you. How are you?', as the 'real' answer would be TMI :P

Too bad this book doesn't have references XD

El'endia Starman

That sounds quite like English culture too, lol. The "correct" answer to "How are you?" is always some variation of "Fine."

Tinkeringbell

I want that claim about intestines fact-checked though!

I've found some sites that indeed say the 'How do you do' is an enquiry after someone's health (in general)

Rainbacon

@El'endiaStarman That might be my least favorite part of social interaction

Tinkeringbell

@Rainbacon Pleasantries? I find they give me some time to come up with something better to say ;)

El'endia Starman

@Tinkeringbell They're also just verbal acknowledgements. Around here, "Hey how you doin'?" is quite common in passing and people often don't care about the reply. It's like a head nod when you make eye contact with a stranger on the street.

Tinkeringbell

5:32 PM

Oh, in that case it's annoying I guess. This part of the book is just about entering and introducing yourself at large gatherings

Rainbacon

@Tinkeringbell I really hate the ones where there is only one correct answer and it's a lie. For a time I was depressed. The last question I wanted to hear from someone was "how are you", because a) I knew they didn't actually care, it was just a social convention and b) I would be required to say "fine" or "good" even though those were as far from the truth as possible.

Tinkeringbell

Eh. I think there's an exception for that...

I really kinda hope the book will address that at some point

But I'm only on page 47 so far

Rainbacon

5:46 PM

Well, if you find out that Dutch culture has conventions for getting around this interaction, maybe I'll move to The Netherlands

Tinkeringbell

6:12 PM

I found a bit on moods and illnesses, but so far those are quite unrelated to 'how are you'.

I did find: When having a sleepover, with regards to getting up in the morning, try to listen when your hosts get up. That way, you can also offer to help with breakfast preparations.

I'm sooooo rude.

I sleep through everything

El'endia Starman

6:24 PM

@Tinkeringbell Also impossible for me given my deafness. :P I've almost never woken up before my hosts.

TheTinyMan

6:41 PM

I just slept through my lunch break. :-D But, whaaat? If my host wants me to be up at a certain time, they'd tell me - otherwise I assume they want me to be well-rested and feeling good. :-p

Tinkeringbell

Hehehe... etiquette has some weird stuff :P

El'endia Starman

7:02 PM

A lot of etiquette is dumb and mostly serves as an indicator that you know high-class stuff.

Tinkeringbell

@El'endiaStarman A lot of it is also... huh, this is exactly what mom taught me to do

TheTinyMan

7:19 PM

Yeah, you're not wrong about that. I guess I have no patience for that kind of etiquette. xD

Tinkeringbell

I... now partially understand why people sometimes mention my manners. Apparently I've always done e.g. introducing people to each other kinda right naturally?

Rainbacon

And what is the protocol for that?

Noon

@IPSCommentBot tp

Tinkeringbell

@Rainbacon Always introduce people :P

Say something like 'Manager, I'd like you to meet co-worker'

co-worker, this is manager

Rainbacon

7:34 PM

Oh, I think I'm doing it right

Tinkeringbell

Yeah, it's not that hard... though I must admit I also never thought twice when people don't do this, then I just introduce myself

Introverted Meta Man.

-1

Q: Why was my Answer wrongly deleted? Yes, this again

(How) can I ask gifts be in cash/check instead of more restrictive instruments? It answers the headline question directly and succinctly. There is no reason for anything other than Politeness when asking this to friends and family. Also, I'm the only one to address the equally important second...

discussion

Richard U

8:02 PM

@El'endiaStarman well the purpose for etiquette was to create a standard set of customs and rules that kept people from taking offense back in the days when disagreements of that nature were often resolved by force of arms.

El'endia Starman

8:17 PM

@RichardU Hmm, that's actually plausible.

Nowadays though, personally, the only etiquette that matters is "Be considerate of others.", though what exactly "considerate" means does depend on culture. But really, it doesn't matter which side of the plate the fork, knife, and/or spoon go.

Richard U

8:35 PM

@El'endiaStarman at a time it did due to the ways people would circumvent etiquette to make subtle insults. Putting one's feet on the table, for example, might not mean too much today, but back when the primary conveyance was horses, and the streets were littered with what horses do, you can see how that would have been a huge insult.

@El'endiaStarman Speaking of variance from culture to culture. Germans seem very rude to Americans at the dinner table. In Germany, it is polite to let people eat as soon as they have their food, so as not to make them eat cold food. In America, it is polite to wait until everyone is served.

Again, the customs may be outdated, but they did serve a purpose in their day.

The handshake, for example was to demonstrate that you had no weapon in your hand, or up your sleeve. It was a hand-to forearm grasp which demonstrated you had no dagger up your sleeve, and brought both parties in close enough to make combat was impossible

Noon

9:28 PM

@EmC Just in case you need it, I think you are an amazing mod who always leave very clear and helpful comments. Also, you are always nice with everyone and I appreciate this about you

2

Richard U

9:42 PM

it keeps the doctor away

Given my health, I need a few thousand bushels

ElizB

9:56 PM

Hi all i'm back from my day's adventures...

Richard U

@ElizB and I'm about to leave. I'm not to be taken in more than limited doses.

ElizB

@RichardU well then have a good rest of the day :) See you around.

Richard U

@ElizB Ah, since my mind is still on etiquette....

If an Irish person says "Top of the morning to you"

The proper response is "And the rest of the day to you"....

ElizB

ah, yeah. I guess that's what i'm trying to express :)

Richard U

May the road rise up to meet you.

May the wind be always at your back.

May the sun shine warm upon your face;

the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again,

may God hold you in the palm of His hand.

ElizB

10:07 PM

I love that. :) Same to you

Extroverted Main Man

10:30 PM

0

Q: How can I decline a hug without offending?

My boyfriend shares an apartment with an older man who has a physical disability which prevents him from walking. The housemate is very kind and intelligent. However, sometimes when I am alone with him he will ask me to come over and give him a hug. We generally get along very well and I like him...

awkward-situations saying-no roommates personal-space

ElizB

11:18 PM

→ 34 messages moved to Trash

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