The Awkward Silence - 2018-08-21 (page 1 of 2)

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Extroverted Main Man

1:33 AM

0

Q: My friend doesn't want to spend time with me

Ive been getting very upset over this - not sure if i should be or if im just over sensitive. Basically my friend from france has just moved to the london (where i live) and doesn't seem so enthusiastic to meet. To offer some background, we've been very close for 4 years and actually used to go...

relationships friendship

Extroverted Main Man

2:03 AM

0

Q: How can I deal with a rude classmate?

Good day, today I entered to my new school (I'm in 9 grade) and, as you could guess, I had no friends, but there was some guys that were so good to explain me and stay with me. I really like staying with 2 guys, they are three, but, the third is so rude! In my country, almost every person you kn...

conversations friends difficult-people school bullying

2:41 AM

By the way, that presentation went pretty darn good. Computer borked because it didn't have powerpoint installed, so I went to my computer, converted it to pdf and then finally presented and that was it.

Journeyman Geek

\o/

Not sure whether not having powerpoint installed is a good thing or a bad thing lol

(shrugs) boss was annoyed because shes the tech person

she said she has used "microsoft" on the laptop before but maybe only outlook :P

I didn't see it installed

IPS Comment Bot

3:18 AM

@Ludi - love the honesty, lol — ashleedawg 32 secs ago

#17706 ashleedawg (169 rep) | A: How do I politely say no to a stranger asking to use my phone to make a personal call? (score: -1) | posted 2 days ago by Ludi (107 rep) | Toxicity 0.23754409 | edited 2 days ago by Ludi (107 rep)

Matched regex(es) ["short-comment"]

@IPSCommentBot tp

IPS Comment Bot

Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps

Extroverted Main Man

4:04 AM

0

Q: How to tell a professor that I don't mind if he is busy?

Sorry this got a little long... I am a human self studdiing a course. Two years ago I began to use some lectures by a professor from the United States (I'm from a different country). He is retired now. While watching his lectures, I began to have some questions about the topics. So I usually sen...

conversations politeness approach apologies email

0

Q: How to “fit in” a cycling bunch?

I have asked this in the Bicycle Exchange, but it seems it's more of a rant than a question. Yes it's a rant, but there is a genuine request for ideas on how to be effective in not following "Velominati" rules, and still being able to keep the bunch together and accepting of others that don't agr...

etiquette socializing groups

2 hours later…

6:31 AM

@ExtrovertedMainMan this looks like it needs some serious editing

Jalapeno Nachos

7:04 AM

so quiet in here :(

Journeyman Geek

Kinda Awkward isn't it.

Jalapeno Nachos

yeah :(

@JourneymanGeek does it feel great to not code for a living?

Journeyman Geek

ehh. Great? IDK

Jalapeno Nachos

I've been coding, and my posture is getting worse, and I have lower back pain

Journeyman Geek

But someone has to watch the plumbing.

Jalapeno Nachos

7:18 AM

what you do is a healthier lifestyle - would you agree?

If you don't like back pain, here's a tip: Don't get into cycling.

Jalapeno Nachos

Oo :(

but cycling is awesome exercise

It is. Unfortunately, also a cause of back pain... ...speaking from experience.

Jalapeno Nachos

ah, I see :(

cycling is fascinating, as a global sport

But yes, sitting hunched over at a computer will make your back hurt. That's why places have e.g. treadmill desks.

Jalapeno Nachos

7:21 AM

lance armstrong turned 1 million in sales at Trek into ... 100 million? or 1 billion, I forget

...or, more realistically, standing desks.

Jalapeno Nachos

ah, nice

I need a standing desk :)

Captain Bohemian

I feel cycling boring after I knew how to ride well.

Jalapeno Nachos

@JourneymanGeek @Mithrandir how has the conduct been around the network? noticeably better with the implementation of the new CoC?

Captain Bohemian

but it seldom lead to back pain to me.

Jalapeno Nachos

7:23 AM

@CaptainBohemian nice :)

Captain Bohemian

It's just a convenient tool to where I want to go, but I don't feel itself of much fun.

Journeyman Geek

@JalapenoNachos mostly the same

Also... chairs... matter

PERSONALLY I am fond of yoga balls

but if you have a shedload of money or a nice boss....

@JourneymanGeek yoga balls aren't chairs! :P

They're exercise

Journeyman Geek

Get good chairs

@Tinkeringbell I used to use one as my home computer chair

@JourneymanGeek I have this really lazy manager style desk chair at home, with a little thing I can slide out and put my feet up :D

Jalapeno Nachos

7:26 AM

@JourneymanGeek does it tighten your core muscles a whole lot, just from simply sitting on it?

Journeyman Geek

Only reason I don't is well, I keep having to deflate and reinflate them whenever my parents go "Oh, we need the space for something"

@JalapenoNachos donno

its comfy tho

Second best sitting experience I've had

Work had herman miller Aeons...

pricy but maaaaaaan

Jalapeno Nachos

ah, nice :)

This office has kinda weird chairs, but once you're used to them they're perfect :)

Journeyman Geek

At some point I might swap my ikea one for a secretlabs omega or titan

You can even sit on them backwards and lean on what's usually supporting your back

Journeyman Geek

7:28 AM

but those are pricy, though not made of money pricy ;p

@JourneymanGeek DBA in my office has one too

Journeyman Geek

also one nice thing is they're pretty cheap

so if you don't like it, you're not out much

I think my desk at home is too high for using a yoga ball :/

no such thing

Journeyman Geek

:(

7:31 AM

just get a bigger ball

Journeyman Geek

I'm not sure if it would work with my current desk

My old one was a amazing jerry rigged bit of recycled bits from everywhere which kinda sagged under the weight of my PC ;p

@JourneymanGeek Mine is from ikea, but they don't make em like that anymore. Nowadays the desks are small...

Mine is pretty huge, and has two shelves above the main 'desk'. The top one is nearly toppling over though underneath the weight of a lot of crafting supplies :D

Captain Bohemian

by the way, I lost a Facebook friend today. It's so great, isn't it? I don't even know who (s)h is!

7:46 AM

> please do not forget to participant

Gotta love Aliexpress messages :D

@CaptainBohemian As in, the person unfriended you on Facebook, or they died?

Captain Bohemian

would you automatically lose friends if nobody in your friend list unfriends you?

I find some people who don't get online for indefinite long period of time are still in my friend list.

@CaptainBohemian I think I just misread/mistranslated 'I lost' ;). No, you don't automatically lose friends (although it might happen if they delete their profile, but to me that counts as 'unfriending)

@CaptainBohemian That's true. I have friends on Facebook like that ;)

Captain Bohemian

Should one bother to delete Facebook? If one day you hate it enough, you just leave it there without getting online it anymore.

interpersonal.stackexchange.com/q/17765/12101 Delete please

Captain Bohemian

For me, I put too many things there that I have to check them often. I almost treat Facebbok as my notebooks. But I don't really miss anybody there.

7:56 AM

@CaptainBohemian well, the implication of deleting your account is that your data would also be deleted. I don't think that's true with FB, but it puts a bigger stop to them gathering more of it

Captain Bohemian

I hope there is a way to isolate friends and my posts.

I just want to reach my posts there.

what's the goal you're trying to accomplish?

Captain Bohemian

I find the button of "filter" in Facebook doesn't work. I have filtered message of friends multiple times, but I still get their message.

@Belle-Sophie Outright deleting it might be a bit much, but it's closed now :)

Captain Bohemian

I want to preserve my posts but stop connection with friends there.

Extroverted Main Man

8:04 AM

-1

Q: How Can I start a business in the US. California. I know there is a legal process involved. Please let me know the process

I know there is a legal process involved. Please let me know the process

united-states socializing business

Captain Bohemian

I seldom take initiative to add friends. I only regressively accept friend request.

though there are several times I get the notice that someone has accepted my friend request but I have no impression of sending that friend request. Probably I click friend request by accidently.

Murrnin

Captain Bohemian

I really seldom send friend request.

Jalapeno Nachos

@avazula g'morning :)

How are you guys doing?

Jalapeno Nachos

8:18 AM

I'm ok, getting a haircut today - it needs some texture :)

how are you?

my research advisor has been silent, btw - I think it's time to part ways :(

@CaptainBohemian then unfriend people?

@JalapenoNachos uh, I'm sorry about that.

I'm great. Quite busy finishing a big report. final countdown :)

@ElizB - apparently Peter Hollens does respond to emails. Took a bit over two months, but...

better late than never

Jalapeno Nachos

who's Peter Hollens? is he famous?

8:27 AM

@JalapenoNachos youtube.com/channel/UCgITW_70LNZFkNna7VsXbuQ

Oooh, he just passed 2,000,000 subscribers.

Jalapeno Nachos

ah, nice :)

8:40 AM

@avazula what about?

@CaptainBohemian I don't think there's any use to facebook for me. All my actual friends are in contact with me through other means

@Magisch It's a report giving the results and discussion of my 6 month project I've been working on since March.

I have 40 to 50 pages to write

And I don't feel a need to share in the lives of people who I've maybe met once 3-5 years ago

and I hate those reports :p

I mostly use it for messenger and a bunch of trade groups

@JAD Yea, me too

Captain Bohemian

8:50 AM

@Magisch I have no real friends; they all have lost contsct with me.

A while ago I noticed everytime I looked at it it was giving terrible news about the world but wouldn't care to suggest improvements. It was just feeding my anxiety. I'm better off "Facebook-sober" haha

Facebook actually did A/B testing a while back and found they could drasticly influence the state of mind and emotions of a user by filtering what to show and what not

Captain Bohemian

originally my purpose of joining Facebook is to get some friends, but I find it really doesn't serve that function. People adding me don't really want to talk with me; they just want to post pictures to show. That doesn't really serve the function of friendship I need.

@CaptainBohemian Do you play video games?

Captain Bohemian

no

Jalapeno Nachos

8:56 AM

@CaptainBohemian especially pictures of foods ... ugh ...

@CaptainBohemian Huh. Otherwise I'd have advised you to maybe try guilds in the games where applicable? My SO met a few friends through online playing. One of them asked him to be his best man recently.

Jalapeno Nachos

I've stopped needing Facebook validation of my life several years ago - it feels great not posting there, except for maybe a thank you message for the birthday shout-outs :)

in the past, getting "likes" for my FB posts felt important to me - it's a sucky way to live

I only use FB to keep in touch with people I already know, myself, and use it relatively little at that.

*does not use Facebook* :D

@Mithrandir even better

9:04 AM

147

Q: The problem with extrinsic motivation

TL;DR: Stack Exchange favors standard, fast, and complete answers at the expense of novel, creative, and excellent answers. This bias results directly from reputation ratings, badges and other extrinsic motivations, which form the core of the system and can not be removed. Therefor, the quality o...

discussion reputation badges

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How to clarify to a person that i don't want her to talk to me about a certain topic anymore?

Everytime my grandmother talks to me (everyday since i live in their house for almost a year now) she brings up a sensitive topic. This situation has been going on for about 4 months now and i can’t stand it any longer and i know if i have to deal with this much more i will explode and i don’t wa...

conversations family taboo

I'd delete mine altogether if it weren't my primary link to a handful of people

Jalapeno Nachos

@doppelgreener same here

Extroverted Main Man

9:34 AM

0

Q: How to turn down a fellow at the gym?

I'm going to the gym quite frequently, so does the guy this question revolves around. I don't really like chit-chatting (or talking in general) while im working out - I'm usually in my zone, with headphones on and music blasting. Never had an issue with someone interrupting me. Yesterday tho, th...

awkward-situations strangers exercise

10:17 AM

@doppelgreener But Facebook! (I'd have gotten rid of mine too, if it weren't for the crochet groups ;) )

10:35 AM

@Tinkeringbell For me it's one hobby group, one friend and a handful of family members.

@doppelgreener I have about 7 hobby groups. A few high school friends. I mostly blocked/muted family members ;)

The routine is go to Facebook, check the new posts in the hobby groups, see the timeline for updates from those few friends and then go do something else :D

(I sometimes complain/post on the hobby groups as well)

11:33 AM

@ExtrovertedMainMan Stop going at the gym

@avazula Yeah, couch potatoes have a much easier life ;)

@Tinkeringbell Until they're 50 and have their 1st stroke :s

There's something that always bothered me: if human nature is to be active, then why is it so painful?!

@avazula There's active and there's active ;)

If I think of 'human nature', I'm going back to hunter/gatherers. That means active every day, and a whole different kind of active from the active people do in a gym :)

People go to gyms to use muscles they don't normally use, so those will start hurting

@Tinkeringbell That's true

Which also explains why there's no need to go to the gym to be active and healthy. With this fitness trend, it feels like people are forgetting it :p

@avazula True. You could just walk during lunch, or in the evening. Cleaning a house or gardening (esp. weeding, mowing grass manually etc.) seems to count too :)

11:45 AM

@Tinkeringbell Everytime I do the weekly cleaning my watch records 2h of physical activity xD

@avazula That's good :D

My fitbit does too, if I start stuff like vacuuming or dusting :)

@Tinkeringbell Yea. That's not enough to burn all the calories I eat though :D

@Tinkeringbell Do you enjoy these tools? Because I really do!

@avazula dishwashing doesn't count as moderate activity :(

@Tinkeringbell Oh :( Luckily I let my SO do it :D

@avazula I need to start using it for what it's for again :P I now mainly use it for the time, to get a buzzing reminder to go sleep and one to wake up properly :P

I really need to start tracking activity and food again, it worked very well, but I kinda let myself go since christmas :/

Captain Bohemian

11:48 AM

@JalapenoNachos my facebook friends seldom post food. They most post links or their own pictures.

@Tinkeringbell Is it really efficient to track food? I struggle so hard to do it!

@avazula epi.grants.cancer.gov/physical/MET/… Everything over 3 should count as 'activity' :)

@avazula Sort of, you end up spending a lot of time putting new stuff in there at first :)

When I used it, it didn't have a Dutch calorie/food table, so I had to enter some stuff manually because it's just not known in English, or we cook it differently so the calorie counts were off.

I don't know, maybe that's updated :D

Captain Bohemian

and actually I don't like food post.

@avazula someone on Facebook sent me invitation for playing some game often and I always ignored it. Then she unfriends me. How nice it is!

@Tinkeringbell Same in French :)

@CaptainBohemian Wow... That's not nice of her.

Captain Bohemian

@avazula I an not sure if she unfriended for my not accepting her invitation, but I feel nice she unfriended me.

because I don't usually feel comfortable to unfriend people even when I feel they don't serve my friendship need anymore.

I just unfollowed someone who keeps posting pictures of their own wry faces.

Journeyman Geek

11:57 AM

@Tinkeringbell desk +1 is going to be a kitchen countertop with threstle legs

so... as huge as possible

@JourneymanGeek Nice :D

@avazula Once you get in the habit it's easy

I want two desks for my apartment :) One for the PC, the other one for crafting. I'm actually thinking of buying a smaller one for the PC :)

I started tracking all my food, drinks and nutrients last year in september, and by now it's almost a second nature and takes very little time at all

@Tinkeringbell So you could say you want to get a

@Magisch You forgot to mention you have some sort of 'standard' diet for the week? Or wasn't that you?

12:00 PM

user image

@Tinkeringbell Yeah I have very little variety in my food choices

@Magisch I don't play much minecraft... but that has something to do with crafting?

@Tinkeringbell Thats the crafting table

Nice :D Yeah, I want a crafting table. :)

I'm going to use my current desk for it probably, it already has some paint/superglue stains ;)

@Magisch do you do it?

@avazula yeah

I track sodium, protein, unsaturated fat, sugar and calories of my food

I have an excel chart with entries on all the types of food I like to eat so I just link those

Journeyman Geek

12:05 PM

lol whyt?

Wow

Journeyman Geek

erm. I eat whatever my mom cooks

or whatever I throw together out of the fridge

I live alone and buy and prepare all my meals so it makes it easier

Journeyman Geek

Today I had sauteed mushrooms in oilve oil, and a hint of butter over home made bread.

@JourneymanGeek Here too, not much choice :P Although she's kind enough to get me something else whenever there's pasta and a tomato sauce..

Journeyman Geek

12:07 PM

@Tinkeringbell Have I ever mentioned the ongoing religious war over pasta doneness in my family? ;p

@JourneymanGeek 'a hint'. Given the fact that you've stated multiple times that you like to go nuts on the butter in this room, does that mean that you find it a 'hint', or that it really was just very little for normal people as well? :P

@JourneymanGeek 8 minutes. Everything cooks 8 minutes here :P

Journeyman Geek

I tend to cook it till underdone, and let the remaining heat and sauce finish.

My parents cook it till its done. Then cook it some more. Then cook it a little more

@Tinkeringbell about 2 teaspoons

@Magisch but why tracking those attributes and not only simply your macronutrients? Do you have a reason to track fat only when unsaturated, for example?

Journeyman Geek

When I was younger it was literally "Oh, just a chunk"

so, kinda stretching it with less unhealthy oil gets me the taste without as much... butter.

@JourneymanGeek As someone with Italian tradition this gives me chills

Journeyman Geek

12:09 PM

also, mushrooms don't need that much

@avazula I'm sorry

:p

Journeyman Geek

For me, the done-ness for packaged pasta is just enough that you don't see any white bits, then you take it out, and you don't rinse it like a barbarian.

Also, I don't care what anyone says. I cook it with salt and olive oil, though I use the pan/less water technique for small servings

@JourneymanGeek :) That's a normal amount of butter on bread, unless you ate a whole lot of bread :)

Journeyman Geek

@Tinkeringbell 2 slices, and about 8 mushrooms on that...

your typical white mushroom sized ones, but I had white and brown

@JourneymanGeek Mushrooms? on bread?

Interesting...

Journeyman Geek

12:14 PM

@Tinkeringbell yes

What kind of bread?

Journeyman Geek

err...

IN THIS INSTANCE, was an aimish country loaf

but I've done it on our normal, plain white homemade bread

But you can put the mushrooms on any kind of bread? I'm going to keep that in mind. Raw mushrooms? cooked?

Journeyman Geek

bobsredmill.com/recipes/how-to-make/amish-country-loaf

Any herbs or spices added?

Journeyman Geek

12:15 PM

II can't eat raw mushrooms

I just cook em in butter, (or olive oil), salt and pepper.

Raw mushrooms give me itches

@JourneymanGeek I don't think I ever ate a raw mushroom either ;)

@Tinkeringbell that's so good!

There's plenty of recipes with raw mushrooms too, like mushrooms a la Greek

Journeyman Geek

@avazula if its even a little undercooked, my face starts itching :(

@avazula unsaturated fat is important

(Though I don't like that, it's basically full of cream)

@JourneymanGeek r u allergic?

12:18 PM

Also mostly for stats purposes. I try to limit carbohydrate intake a bit

Journeyman Geek

@avazula apparently

but its annoying more than lethal

@avazula I had big plans to try all sorts of food we don't usually eat during my vacation... but I had to cook for my brothers too, and went with easy and cooked the same for the three of us.

(My brothers are notoriously picky eaters, they won't try anything new)

@Magisch okay :)

@Tinkeringbell Sounds like they really made your vacation a hard time :(

@avazula It's okay. They weren't home for most of the day (they were working), and they did help with groceries and cooking during the weekends.

It's just that I had to do the clean-up and laundry for three :(

well "sugar" in this case means carbs

12:22 PM

That took about an hour or two each day, which I find a lot (if I had been home alone, I had maybe one load of laundry at the end of two weeks and a day of cleaning)

Journeyman Geek

@Tinkeringbell basically if its veggie I will eat anything.

or drink anything other than bad coffee

My dad bought coffee with chicory ._.

@JourneymanGeek I am trying to eat more stuff than just potatoes, veggies and meat 4 or 5 times a week.

I once ate a mushroom we found that was grilled like a steak

Journeyman Geek

@Tinkeringbell ... that's literally all of food.

It was a long and flat type of mushroom from the woods

Journeyman Geek

12:23 PM

Unless you mean grains and other starches

@JourneymanGeek More stuff like rice with a sauce, or other veggies (mixed)

Here veggies usually means a single sort of vegetable, while there's a lot of dishes with more than one

Journeyman Geek

ohhh

lol

you mean...

normal food

hides

@JourneymanGeek ;) They call it 'world food' here. Anything that's not boiled potatoes, vegetable and meat is 'foreign' :P

I usually buy reduced produce and eggs and just make mesh dishes from that

Like cut potato with cooked chicken and eggs omelet

Journeyman Geek

@Tinkeringbell rice is kind of our "default"

12:26 PM

or something equally lazy and extremely boring

@JourneymanGeek Probably like boiled potatoes are here ;)

Journeyman Geek

The joke is, left to my own devices?

I'd live off penne ._.

@JourneymanGeek penne is okay. It goes nice with veggies and meat :)

I like penne but it's all carbs

Journeyman Geek

@Magisch Its something I cannot screw up and I can throw together a dish in one pan.

12:28 PM

I do the one pan thing by tactially dumping exactly what's needed to fill the 1900 kcal for the day worth of eggs, vegetable and meat into a pan and making what can be charitably described as "leftover scrambled eggs" from it

Journeyman Geek

@Magisch oh with pasta, cook pasta, dump some of the water out, reserve the rest....

@Magisch So you have one big meal for the whole day?

no

But I aim for around 1900 kcal a day. So throughout the day I'll eat stuff and dinner is what's left to fill up the calories for the day

@Magisch ok. plus the nutrients you're tracking

I'm not as stringent with those but generally

I track them to see the long term trend is ok e.g I'm not missing 50% of my recommended protein or smth like that. The only thing I'm pretty exact about is sodium because my family has a history of elevated blood pressure

12:42 PM

@Magisch Okay. I admire people who can be precise on their calories / nutrients intake like that. I'm not cautious enough to do this precisely. I think it's good you're careful regarding blood pressure :)

It works for me because I don't eat at restaurants, live alone, prepare my own meals and generally am a boring person

if any of these wouldn't be true I wouldn't be doing it because then it'd be too much work

@Magisch I know I don't know IRL but you don't look like a boring person to me :)

@avazula Yeah, I never managed to really be precise on my intakes... I just tracked them with the fitbit, and realised I had to snack less/healthier :P

@Magisch But I get what you mean

@Tinkeringbell Yesterday I told my bf I was tracking my macronutrients because I wanted to know how much / how rich I eat. Later on I baked cookies because I had ripe bananas, and he said "I thought you were on a diet?". I was vexed. I wouldn't be honest with snacking, I'm too much of bad faith xD

@avazula I can do the honest snack tracking... my problem is I either snack unhealthy a lot, nor not at all... I need to find some moderate in between ;)

Also, I need to become less of a couch potato. More walking, maybe swimming....

Less crochet :(

12:50 PM

snacking is a frame of mind thing

99% habit I've found

I made a rule for myself that I'm not allowed to eat and do something on the computer at the same time

@Magisch I agree. I have a similar problem, it's not snacking, it's drinking water. Everytime I feel stressed, bored or any bad emotion, I'll drink.

@Magisch Oh sure. There's also a huge role for snacks on social occasions here though... and you can decline snacks, but it does makes you kind of an outsider (and the snacks are too nice to decline, usually :P)

suddenly I'm very able to keep to 3 meals a day

@avazula As long as that's water and not something with alcohol, you're okay I guess :P

@Magisch haha. That's smart.

12:52 PM

@Tinkeringbell see thats where for me the helpful fact that I don't like social occasions comes in :p

@Magisch Hahaha... I like going out with friends, e.g. to the movies and then afterwards go eat tapas or something :)

@Tinkeringbell Meh, not so much. I really drink too much :p. 3+ liters a day. It's so much I'm constantly slightly dehydrated.

And I only pick the unhealthy tapas stuff, fried and fat :P

@Tinkeringbell patatas bravas xD

@avazula :D

12:53 PM

Everytime I'm in a non work social situation I'm too busy planning my exit strategy

@Magisch Ouch :(

I like socializing from time to time. Especially if there's food. If there's no food, or only healthy stuff (someone once threw a friday afternoon drinks party with only slices of sweet peppers and cucumber and fruit like grapes....) I'm out of there!

haha

Journeyman Geek

indian festival food is all deep fried.

In coconut oil (for us anyway)

@JourneymanGeek That's like worst kind of oil for health xD

(in large doses, of course)

Journeyman Geek

@avazula deep fried

I eat in moderation XD

12:56 PM

;)

@JourneymanGeek that diamond hat never comes off does it?

next thing you know you're reading "a theory of eating"

Journeyman Geek

@Magisch also... I lost my taste for deep fried stuff

and soda, though I occationally have the slightly fancy stuff

@JourneymanGeek Ohhh... soda! Another thing I overindulged in during vacation :)

You're all making me miss my vacation and making me hungry at the same time!

@Tinkeringbell un bell ievable

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