The Awkward Silence - 2018-04-25 (page 1 of 2)

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Extroverted Main Man

3:28 AM

0

Q: What message does not wearing a wedding ring send?

I am happily married man and have no interest in engaging in a relationship outside of it. I have heard that wearing a wedding ring alerts women to the fact that I'm married and not looking for outside interactions, while not wearing a wedding ring tells women I am available. Meaning, they may th...

socializing marriage

Extroverted Main Man

4:03 AM

0

Q: How can I ask (or determine) if someone on the phone is real without offending them?

I recently saw a doctor about a minor medical problem. This is the first time I saw this doctor . After the appointment I asked my doctor a follow-up question via my insurance company's website. I got a call back from the doctor but during the entire call I was distracted because all of the docto...

phone-calls requests

4:24 AM

Asking an older person if he needs help, (and it's clear he does), but he declines... How to respond?

2 hours later…

Extroverted Main Man

6:16 AM

1

Q: How should I touch my wife while talking to her?

I am unmarried. While browsing internet, I came around that most of husbands are sexually frustrated (I don't want to generalize all are sexually frustrated). So if I found my wife is asexual I mean not allow me to have sex with her. Someone will definitely give me an advice that I should talk ...

6:45 AM

Well... good morning everyone!

good afternoon!

Mornin'

heyo

Yay! People! :D The room has been pretty quiet at night :P

I was asleep. :P

7:31 AM

Anyone want to look at some answers with disputed flags?

jup

interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/13402/… interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/13402/… interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/13457/… interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/13559

And of course interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/13404/31 and interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/13403/31 are still up. *sigh*

interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/1894/… interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/11994/… could also be worth poking

the first one seems to be a very bad and unuseful answer (IMO!) but I don't think it deserves a flag. just DV and go on. or not?

It doesn't seem to address the question at all.

@Mithrandir yes it does but in a wrong way, but that "wrong" is my (and your) opinion

7:39 AM

Eh... Question:

> As the only form of available communication they gave was an email address, how can I politely ask the writer's gender?

"answer":

> ask whether there is a restriction on the gender of the room sharer.

Seems equivalent to "Q: How can I ask if this is a tomato or a potato? A: Ask what stuff he sells."

@Mithrandir with that restiction, the answerer wants to deduce the writer's gender. You and I think that this will not lead to that information, but who are we to know that?

The question is asking how to ask a specific thing politely. The answer is saying to ask something else.

If you boil it down like that.

I'm stubborn :P

@Mithrandir I am too in this case, let's agree to disagree

hello

@NVZ hi!

7:51 AM

@Catija I'm ready for RO-ship, if you'll have me.

@NVZ never! the ROship is mine! my precious

chrm chrm uhm, I mean, it would be nice to have you as RO :)

@NVZ Oh, thanks for the reminder. The deadline for volunteering passed last night, I have removed the message :)

Deadline? Uh. Okay.

Apr 20 at 21:55, by Catija

Hey, y'all! We've got two RO spots open since AJ and Tinkeringbell are mods now. I know we've got a lot of mod presence in here so it may not be "necessary" but if you're interested in the post, let us know and we'll discuss who might be a good choice. Deadline to throw your hat in is Tuesday 11:59 PM

That was the entire message ;-) I've removed it from the side-bar now.

8:51 AM

→ 9 messages moved to Trash

oops, I just approved a drastic edit of a closed question and didn't realize it had 2 answers. https://interpersonal.stackexchange.com/posts/9013/revisions
what to do now?

you could rollback, or you could inform the answers that the question has been edited drastically.

1 hour later…

9:54 AM

when did the "add a comment" change to "suggest improvements"? I only noticed today

17

A: This one weird trick gets rid of all off-topic comments. Let's use it!

Ok, this experiment is live: From now until the end of the experiment, "add a comment" will no longer be available here on Interpersonal Skills; authors and those with the "comment everywhere" privilege will only be able to "suggest improvements". Kudos to Tim for reviving this request and Kas...

10:06 AM

@Mithrandir woohoo! exciting times! :D

This Q has 2 delete votes and 2 reopen votes. (I just edited it a bit more, IMO it can be reopened).
Wanna have a look? https://interpersonal.stackexchange.com/q/13523/8077

@Cashbee I'd love to see the OP answer Spagirls question first

> If you amend your question and it gets re-opened, can you add a geographic tag and perhaps explain the local habit for BYOB social? Where I live, and when I used to go to such things, it was BYOB, but you didn't take YOB away with you again at the end, if you took it you left it and if you'd taken far more than you drank that was Host's perks.

Sorry, wrong name ;)

I don't think this is a crucial question, but whatever, enjoy your meals, people from UTC+1

@Cashbee Maybe, maybe not ;-) Given that we often get a lot of discussion on what's offensive and what not in comments, I prefer a question to describe why an action might be perceived as offensive... Enjoy lunch! :D

2 hours later…

11:58 AM

@Mithrandir you can't trick me! I'd keep posting chatty stuff

@M.A.R.ಠ_ಠ Then you are the exception, because IMO this trick reduced the amount of chatty comments by circa 1 billion percent

12:14 PM

How can I ask (or determine) if someone on the phone is real without offending them? - is this actually asking about an interpersonal skill?

@EmC, regarding your question about NVC, I won't answer because there's little left to say that hasn't been said in other answers, but as you're looking for theoretical aspects of the field, I would recommend you read books from Marshall et al., they explain pretty well how to do when the other isn't receptive to it.

@Mithrandir it's very close to a phrasing request, but I think it can (and did) attract better answers than just "say XYZ"

its more focused on 'how to approach' than 'how do I say XYZ'

12:30 PM

@Mithrandir @Cashbee Actually I think this is pretty IPS to ask for advice on how to approach someone ... if it's really someone xD

@avazula agreed

@avazula thanks for the tip! I was kind of wondering if you would join in actually since I see you recommend it often :)

I'm really happy with how that question went, I'm having a hard time picking an answer because several are really helpful :)

@EmC And I felt like I had to answer ahah ;), but I wouldn't ruin the thread with redundant information. I recently read an amazing book about NVC which was specifically explaining how to deal with the receiver when he/she doesn't want to talk peacefully, but I struggle so hard to find its English title!

@EmC It was interesting :) and that's a fair question: how do you decide when you don't have a best answer? I currently have one pending too ahah

@avazula haha well you are being a good SE citizen then not posting duplicates :P

@Pheo of course you should know me.

everyone should

12:34 PM

@avazula there's no requirement to accept an answer

@EmC I'm trying to :)

(look at literature.stackexchange.com/users/58/mithrandir?tab=questions and see how long it's been since I accepted an answer)

@avazula I guess whatever is most useful to you? if there's multiple great ones you could also award a bounty :)

accepting an answer usually adds only a few reputation points, so it's a non-issue to most

Actually I feel quite sad when there is users that struggle to get their questions on topic / their answers considered "nice" and who don't seem to get how to write good Q&As. I don't feel like we're doing this to annoy people, but rather to offer a site with the best possible quality, and knowing that others wouldn't see it that way makes me sad.

@RichardU I think it's pleasant (especially to new users of SE sites) to know that someone considered your answer as good advice.

@EmC I never gave a bounty. I don't feel it necessary for now but I'll think about it next time :)

12:39 PM

@avazula oh, I agree that we should do it, but let's not encourage people to pull TFGITW on accepting them.

Is the Comment Bot down?

34 AI vocalization developers that've read this (and already didn't do such as @AndréParamés noted) are now going to tune out their vocalization software to not repeat phrases with the same (volume, word choice, inflection, etc.). It's an arms race. Also, this is not an IPS soution, it is a gimmick to find out bad vocalization software. -1 — Mindwin 14 mins ago

It didn't pick it. :P

!!/alive

IPS Comment Bot

I'm alive and well :)

in The Closet, 14 mins ago, by IPS Comment Bot

34 AI vocalization developers that've read this are now going to tune out their vocalization software to not repeat phrases with the same (volume, word choice, inflection, etc.). It's an arms race. — Mindwin 15 secs ago

It was edited, and didn't have that -1 when it was first picked up.

BTW, I LOVE the fact that this site now says "Suggest improvement"

12:41 PM

@RichardU Is this a problem? I remembered seeing people telling askers not to accept an answer until 24 hours to let other people give a shot

@avazula it's usually new users that do that. I've posted that myself because once an answer is accepted, it usually ends contributions to the question

Comments are available for flag on that Q/A. ;P

@RichardU I know, right? It really seems to work so far

@Cashbee Hopefully this will improve the quality of posts

literature.stackexchange.com/questions/2546/… @Mithrandir do you think that you've got satisfying answers on that one?

@Cashbee I think it will work. I see plenty of 101 rep commenters.

12:45 PM

@avazula if by that you mean "reduce the quantity of unnecessary comments", then yes

@avazula eh, some of 'em are good

@Cashbee I meant encouraging people to edit their Q&As when needed. It seems to me like some of them just post (well, especially for answers) and then don't look back, unless for checking their rep

@Mithrandir Because I used to wonder the same xD But then I assumed that it addresses the person the singer is singing to

Shog's experiment seems to be working.

I've perused the questions and there's a good deal less nonsense in there

There are fewer comments than before. And all target on suggesting improvement for the post.

jup, the answers-section feels so empty now

(not because not many answers, but mostly NO comments)

12:57 PM

If it works here, I might suggest it for TWP. I've flagged literally hundreds of comments for rudeness over there. This seems to be site wide (the rudeness)

20

Q: Can we implement temporary automatic comment ban on 'x' number of validated rude comment flags?

There's been problems with abusive comments since the site started. What's with all the rude comments recently? We still haven't managed to conquer the issue. Negative comments drive new users away, how can we fix this? Users can be issued chat bans and post bans. The API automatically bans IP ...

feature-request comments new-users comment-flags be-nice-policy

@RichardU Rudeness? We should ask mods for confirming but I don't think it's the main problem on IPS. I'd rather have bet on low-quality / NAA

@avazula the rudeness is calming down at IPS, but it was a serious problem a few months back.

@RichardU I took a pause during app. November and February, this may explain why I haven't seen it

@avazula we've got several questions on that song if you had other questions about it ;)

(full disclosure: 4/5 by me)

It's scary how a few of the comments in my "roommate question" actually came out to be true...

1:08 PM

@Mithrandir lol

IPS Comment Bot

@Marisa The beauty of this approach is that he doesn't have to agree or understand it. You would have to agree and actively do something in order to visit his family. If you stop visiting, you don't need to do anything and yet the family trouble is instantly reduced. He needs to convince you to visit again by doing something. — AllTheKingsHorses 1 min ago

#13563 AllTheKingsHorses (3759 rep) | A: How to deal with my boyfriend’s mother without affecting my relationship with him? (score: 34) | posted 22 hours ago by baldPrussian (13427 rep)

Matched regex(es) ["chatty"]

@JBentley: I would categorize that as "removing the notion", i.e. refuting that it must carry a message. But I think we're in agreement, just phrasing it differently :) — Flater 26 secs ago

#13583 Flater (3884 rep) | A: Are there any ways to avoid unwanted approaches when not wearing a wedding ring? (score: 6) | posted 9 hours ago by justathought (301 rep)

Matched regex(es) ["chatty"]

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How to ask a landlord to install air conditioning?

I rent a upper mid-class standard flat, solo. The only big drawback is heat. From about April to September room temperature stays at >26 Celsius day and night. This lowers sleep quality at night and comfort at all times. An air conditioner seems to be the best solution, but I don't want to pay fu...

@ExtrovertedMainMan Eh, don't think our landlord ever installed air conditioning and we live in 40-45 degrees...

@Sid .... Celsius?

yes

1:18 PM

dayum

how do you stop yourself from melting on the spot?

@Cashbee The same way as the Canadians stop themselves from freezing on the spot.

or maybe the opposite way, since melting and freezing are opposite?

@Sid sitting next to a fire does not strike me as the best solution for your temperature xD

@Cashbee I go to the library and sit. It's got air-conditioning. :P

IPS Comment Bot

@Graham Agreed. But if it comes down to it, she can't argue about what standards you expect for yourself. So even if she disagrees about what you expect, she can't have the final say, because you're the one creating your own standards for how you are treated. — mbomb007 1 min ago

#13571 mbomb007 (221 rep) | A: How to deal with my boyfriend’s mother without affecting my relationship with him? (score: 6) | posted 21 hours ago by mbomb007 (221 rep)

Matched regex(es) ["chatty"]

can I get second opinions on this answer ... would it be appropriate to remove the last sentence about getting checked for BPD?

1:29 PM

@EmC Can you please tell me what BPD mean?

It's linked there, Borderline Personality Disorder in this case (the same acronym is sometimes used for Bipolar Personality Disorder though)

@EmC The whole post does not answer the question. Deleting the whole post would be more apt than editing out the last paragraph

@EmC I don't see it in the answer you've linked... Are we indeed talking of one answers on the post where the OP's family in law is doing inappropriate things to her?

@avazula oh maybe I sent the wrong link? interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/13579/3171 that's the post, answer by "hotsauce"

@avazula yes BPD is linked ^^

1:33 PM

I'm getting 404 errors when I try to load IPS pages now...

@EmC I agree with @Cashbee, that answer is better off deleted. The very first point it makes is "I can't imagine that your culture is ok with [behavior] because I live in a modern country and we aren't ok with [behavior]"

@EmC Oh ok, I was confused! This indeed wasn't the same answer ^^

@EmC pretty much all of SE is down now

@Cashbee OP's mother in law might have BPD too, for sure! ^^

We're aware of the issue and yanking the affected web servers right now — Mark Henderson 2 mins ago

should be back now

1:34 PM

@Mithrandir oh phew. I thought it was IT messing with my laptop again

@avazula I'm not touching that with a 10 foot pole

:P

@Cashbee Does that mean you wouldn't bet on this theory ? (yes I googled it xD)

am I the only delete voter in here >__> I always second-guess myself when I see posts like this that have been downvoted for a while with no votes yet..

@avazula I mean, I will not participate in that discussion ^^

1:36 PM

@Cashbee Oh, ok. Thanks for the knowledge anyway :D

And I would suggest you don't prognose medical stuff here either ;)

(that is, if you're not a professional in this field. Even then, prognosing over the internet should be a no-go IMO)

@EmC no, I delete vote all the time

@Cashbee I don't think I have, but if my sentence let you think I have, I am sorry about that. I actually answered that post without making any diagnosis on anything (I'm not a doctor and my previous health issues do not enable me to diagnose or judge either) and I was a bit surprised that one of the most rated answers was assuming OP's mother in law has NPD.

@RichardU What do you mean by delete vote? Nominating for deletion answers that have low rep?

Is there any sort of notification to a user that they have had a comment removed for being rude/abusive outside of a moderator sending them a message?

Nope.

1:45 PM

I wonder if that would make a difference

@Rainbacon Do you think there should be more than a mod message?

I think I would be very intimidated if I had to receive such a message

I think an automated message from the system that says something to the effect of "your comment was flagged as rude" with a link to the be nice policy could be helpful.

well, I took a few minutes to write a comment before DV and by that time it was the last DV needed!

@avazula Mods can just message you in chat instead of an official mod message... Which brings me to something I'm curious about... @Mith, can we talk about your Desk sometimes? :)

What about it?

1:48 PM

@Rainbacon Hmmm... or it can create more of a warzone ;-)

@Mithrandir I'm curious as to why you have it, what you do with it (I've been there only twice) and what it's benefits are :D

Asides from playing with socks ;)

@Rainbacon that's something that's crossed my mind too: there's no feedback when a comment gets removed as rude/abusive but there really should be

@EmC I think that given your rep on this SE and your "seniority", there's little chance that your instinct doesn't tell you what's good to do, IMHO :)

@avazula low rep + bad Q or A

@Tinkeringbell I use it for meetings in private, so that I don't have to create new rooms for stuff like that (and then move the messages). I also use it for non-private talks. Although now its main purpose is indeed to play with socks and bots - it's my room, nobody cares if I have random bots going nuts :P

@EmC That's always good, especially if there isn't one yet :) Comments can't be written on deleted posts after they are deleted after all..

1:50 PM

@RichardU I'm sorry, what do you mean?

@Tinkeringbell yeah, that's what I thought :)

@Mithrandir Are there many mods that have a 'desk'? Yours seems... pretty unique. :P (in case you haven't guessed yet, I'm wondering of setting up my own :P)

@avazula I won't vote to delete something if it's just bad, it has to be something that doesn't belong here as well

My Desk is also a useful way to keep an eye on all the metas I follow across the network.

@Tinkeringbell Not many that I've seen. I know Jon Ericson has one ;)

@doppelgreener I might make a feature request on metaSE later

1:51 PM

@Mithrandir It's basically a fancy notepad then ;)

that's one way of putting it

@Rainbacon ping me when you do and i'll +1 it

I think it's a GOOD THING to not be notified if your comment is deleted as rude, it would just create more work for the mods, and endless rules-lawyering

@RichardU Oh ok, I thought you were refering to the last message I've sent (about Em C, who's a high rep user, so I was very confused haha)

@RichardU what's your thought on where the extra work or rules-lawyering will come from?

1:52 PM

@RichardU My thought was that it would automatically happen when a comment is deleted as rude, no extra work for mods

i mean, as a diamond mod myself, if someone's doing something wrong, i don't want to just clean up after them -- i want them to be informed they're doing something wrong so that they self-correct and stop doing the thing. at the moment that only happens after several such incidents lead to me mod messaging them.

@Rainbacon right, yeah -- comment deleted as rude, single automatic inbox notification saying "a comment you left was removed as rude/offensive." (it should probably tell them what the comment was or what it said, but i'm not sure how it should do that.)

@Rainbacon When a user "wrongly" flag a comment and ping a mod for review, he/she is informed that his/her last flag was rejected. Maybe we could imagine some kind of popup that would tell the commenter that his/her last comment was flagged as R/A, in the same way?

@doppelgreener @Rainbacon Right now, if your comment gets deleted, you just know it's deleted. If you get one deleted, and then a message that it was rude, I can guarantee that people will be pestering the mods with THIS WASN'T RUDE and arguing the REASON rather than the validity of the deletion itself.

@RichardU That's a fair point

@RichardU isn't the issue that if your comment gets deleted you have no idea it's deleted?

(unless you go looking for it)

and yeah you're right, that might happen.

1:57 PM

@doppelgreener comments are supposed to be ephemeral. I always assume that every last one I make will eventually be deleted, as we all should

@RichardU also, I can imagine they start trolling from that point on, leaving many more posts even ruder / more abusive

@RichardU agreed, i wouldn't want a notification for all of them. just the ones that are rude/abusive. (but now i'm rethinking that...)

@Cashbee yep. It would open a can of worms.

gotcha

mmmmh, worms

1:58 PM

edges away from Cashbee

@Cashbee so it'd be feeding the troll in other words.

@doppelgreener yep, it gives them attention

Right now, you don't know whether your comment is gone because it was no longer valid, rude, or just caught in a cleanup. No basis for arguments

@Cashbee Yay, gummy worms? :D

is thinking about recipes featuring worms to please Cashbee's palate

@doppelgreener not feeding. More like creating. The comment in question may not have been made with malicious intent. But after a mod comes and says that you are rude and abusive, some people might start trolling

2:00 PM

@doppelgreener feeding them worms? :P

@Cashbee right, that too.

@doppelgreener and then of course, the demands to know WHO FLAGGED MY COMMENT AS RUDE!!!!

and when they're not told, they'll likely assume someone, and animosity ensues

@Tinkeringbell yes, mostly. Sometimes earthworms, but rarely

person gets upset and offended that their content was removed (as usual), takes out anger by leaving more angry abusive comments. those get removed as rude/abusive too, endless vicious cycle.

@Cashbee It's said that some earthworms are delicious when grilled.

But I don't know about that personnally, I'm a plant eater

(Not because I love animals... rather because I hate plants ahah)

2:01 PM

@avazula aah, you french people amuse me.

The current system is why there is so little trolling of SE. There's no way to even know if your comment offended someone, was deleted by a mod, or just got cleaned up. It takes away all the fun of trolling.

@Cashbee Actually French are deeply reluctent to eat bugs.

@RichardU You make a good point here

@avazula oh ok. but not snails, right? :D

@avazula I am an expert troll. I know how to cause mischief, so I also know how to prevent it.

@Cashbee Ahah, this is different, this is culture, Monsieur

@RichardU It's like knowing to hack to prevent being hacked :D

2:03 PM

@avazula exactly

I think we found a consensus. Don't notify the user when deleting R/A comments

@avazula I keep most of the details to myself though, the last thing I want to do is create a troll school by pointing too many things. I don't want to create better trolls

Is this chat now substituting for meta?

@Cashbee We're hypocrites when it comes to food. France used to be a catholic country so during Middle Age, people were supposed to honor the "no meat Friday", so they came up with eating swan, because "it lives on water, so it must be a fish"

@Cashbee definitely not

2:05 PM

@Cashbee I don't think so. I'm not sure you can discuss gastronomy on meta :D

@avazula haha yes I have actually heard about that. No idea from where

Chat is never a substitute for meta.

@avazula fish doesn't count as meat? :P

@Mithrandir except for when it is

@RichardU I'm sure you're the best troll, don't worry about that :) (kidding)

2:06 PM

:D

@RichardU Well, ignoring support :P

@avazula back in the day, I was. Then I decided to grow up.

(somewhat)

@Sid It didn't, back to the Middle Age :) But you know, being a vegetarian in France is like "oh ok, so you eat fish?"

@Sid Not in christian views. That is why Friday is considered Fish-day in many christian countries

@Cashbee hey that's my line :P I think it's ok to toss around ideas for feature requests in chat though. That's like sandboxing, not actually making policy type decisions (which should definitely be on meta)

2:07 PM

@Cashbee But since one of the things about being convincing is 'know your enemies' it never hurts to ask about a shower-thought in here first. Now you know what arguments you might expect and should be able to counter when posting such a meta ;)

yeah yeah guys, it was a rhetorical question I wasnt serious :D

It's actually a good idea to toss things around here before it gets to meta

Plus it nurtures chat when small talk is low

Speaking about tossing. Looking for a nice salad recipe.. any ideas?

Maybe it comes from being a defensive programmer, but every time any idea comes up, I have a natural instinct to poke holes in it.

2:09 PM

@Cashbee I would like to think the "no-meat friday" was to encourage people to have veggies at least once a week. People found a loophole in even that. :P

@Tinkeringbell Put lots of onions, tomato and cucumber. It becomes a salad

@Sid it actually came from a Pope who had a deal with a local fisherman

@Sid Yeah, but that's like... a default salad. I want a special one this time around! :D

The Friday Fast is a Christian practice of abstaining from animal meat on Fridays that is found most frequently in the Eastern Orthodox, Roman Catholic, Anglican and Methodist traditions. According to Pope Peter of Alexandria, the Friday fast is done in commemoration of the crucifixion of Jesus Christ on Good Friday. Abstinence is colloquially referred to as "fasting" although it does not necessarily involve a reduction in the quantity of food. In Roman Catholicism, specific regulations are passed by individual episcopates. In the United States in 1966, the USCCB passed Norms II and IV that bound...

(and I'm a picky eater, I do not even touch tomatoes)

Not being catholic, I eat meat on Fridays all the time, especially during lent, around Catholics.

@Tinkeringbell neither does my daughter, but she's allergic

2:11 PM

@Tinkeringbell Tomatoes are good though. I hate salad dressing, though.

@Mithrandir you prefer your salad Naked?

Anecdote: My brother got asked by one of those pesky street people that do questionnaires whether he ever ate vegetarian on some days... He replied... 'Yes, every Friday. We eat fries'

yes

@Tinkeringbell ~~tomato~~ -mozzarella salad? :D

@Tinkeringbell I ate a vegetarian once. Needed salt.

2:12 PM

@Cashbee I guess I could throw some mozzarella and some leaves in a bowl :P What kind of dressing though? And what kind of meat?

@Mithrandir Hmmm... only certain kinds of leaves though, others are waaay too bland.

@Tinkeringbell dressing: aceto balsamico and a little olive oil. meat? meat??

@Cashbee Yeah, like chicken? or salmon.... or is it supposed to be creature free?

and btw I regularly make mozzarella-only salad

@Tinkeringbell you could do rice - corn - cucumber - tuna, if you like it

@Cashbee that's called shredded cheese

2:14 PM

(It's better with tomatoes, but since you don't like it ... ahah)

@avazula Now I want to eat unhealthy :P

@avazula Never tried it. I will report back :) No green leaves though?

@Tinkeringbell An unhealthy salad? I ... I don't know what to think ahah

@Cashbee i agree :)

@avazula Nahhh... just something with lots of shreddes cheese :P

@Tinkeringbell I don't usually put salad in my salad n_n

2:15 PM

@Mithrandir do you want to discuss cheese with a swiss guy?

not especially

i prefer eating it, rather than discussing it

@Mithrandir I like both, so.. :D

@Tinkeringbell You could try bruschiettas : grilled bread with toppings on top (guacamole, melted cheese, humus, serrano ham, ...) with green leaves next to it?

Cheese is unhealthy....

@avazula Or I could just make a massive amount of fries and put one leaf on top of em...

2:17 PM

yellowblissroad.com/three-cheese-bruschetta

This is one recipe with 3 cheeses (never enough cheese)

@Tinkeringbell Sure you could :D

@Sid it's fine in moderation :)

@Tinkeringbell Or you could also eat potatoes with cheese on top \o/ a gratin, as we Frenchies say

yellowblissroad.com/cheesy-au-gratin-potatoes I've won 2 pounds just looking at this

Aaagh. No! I'm going to stick with something healthy.

@avazula ooh potato-gratin, I know what I cook tonight :D

@avazula yep i put on a kilogram just reading that

2:19 PM

@avazula That one has like a massive, huge, sickening amount of tomatoes :P

@Tinkeringbell i honestly think they should use half as much tomato as that

@doppelgreener It has a lot of fat.

@Tinkeringbell I'm sorry, I can't picture people disliking tomatoes xD

@doppelgreener And then half and then half .... until it approaches 0 :P

@Tinkeringbell but if you just do it that way, there'll always be some tomato...

2:20 PM

I mean, I can stand a few molecules, but once it's actually visible... Yuk.

@Sid Cheese is indeed not that healthy, but so aren't many other foods. I personnally don't eat much of it, but I can understand that people like it :)

everything is toxic, if consumed by too large amounts. even water

@Cashbee That is true. I recently discovered I drink way too much water, and that I may be an "addict". It's called potomania

user image

I just ate that ^

Wait, no, potomania does not mean drinking too much water, but beer...

2:32 PM

> Potomania, also known as beer potomania, beer drinker's potomania, beer drinker's hyponatremia, and frat boy syndrome

LSS, I drink too much water ^^

Not beer

I guess you never have enough beer?

@avazula is that possible?

@avazula nah I'm not a passionate beer drinker. Wine for me, please. (or stronger stuff)

12

A: Apologies and parting notes

I'm sorry this wasn't the right community for you - or, at least, that it currently isn't. I've been quieter the last few weeks because this site has been a huge struggle for me for various reasons and I don't want you to leave thinking that I don't hear you. I do. I hear you so loudly it hurt...

Excellent work there, @Catija. Thanks for taking the time.

10

@Cashbee I use wine to cook, mainly risotto :)

@avazula Then you cook your risotto correctly :)

IPS Comment Bot

2:42 PM

@Ctrl-C : IANAL -> if what I've found is true and can be verified, there's a law ("ustawa o wspieraniu termomodernizacji i remontów" 2009-03-19) that covers both "premia remontowa" (home renovation) and "premia termomodernizacyjna" (thermal renovation). And it seems to confirm what I previously wrote about State Laws and Help. — OldPadawan 26 secs ago

#13600 OldPadawan (9696 rep) | Q: How to ask a landlord to install air conditioning? (score: 2) | posted 1 hours ago by Ctrl-C (111 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Ctrl-C (111 rep)

Matched regex(es) ["(\\+1|\\-1)"]

What happened in here? I went away for a 30 minute meeting and came back to more missed comments than comments posted in the last 2 days.

@Rainbacon We talked about food...

It turned into an outpost for Seasoned Advice :P

@avazula I see that everyone also decided they'd rather not notify users of comments being deleted for being rude

@Catija I would like to tell you that I think you're doing a great job. Thanks for everything you and the other mods are doing.

11

Indeed. It's been said that:
1. It's difficult to notify in person because many don't know about chat,
2. We're afraid that notifying people would encourage some to troll, or
3. To contest and explain why their comment is not rude.

(In resume, this is what have been said)

Extroverted Main Man

2:53 PM

1

Q: How to Tell if Someone Wants One of My Paintings (Because I wish to Gift it thus)

I paint as a hobby. Made few hi-bye friends at office because of this. How do I tell whether they people appreciate my painting to the extent that they wish to keep it? I would be happy to give my painting to someone who truly appreciates it from the bottom of their heart. Usually when a paint...

united-states india gifts

Those are pretty good points

@cashbee please stop editings questions in a way that removes the original meaning. Check stacey's answer comments. — Pedro Lobito 3 mins ago

wut? this is the edit in question .... interpersonal.stackexchange.com/posts/13580/revisions

did my edit remove the original meaning??

I see nothing wrong with your edit

@Cashbee I think it was a good edit.. Stacey's comment on her answer also seems to support it, so idk what that's supposed to mean?

@Cashbee No. It's fine.

Thanks @avazula :)

3:03 PM

@EmC @Catija thank you, for a momnet I doubted my brains ability to think clearly

@Catija also, thank you for responding with a comment yourself!

3:53 PM

@Cashbee I'll say it was a good edit too. It didn't change the intent, it clarified it.

The OP response made it alright, but without their approval, I can see how it changes the original meaning.

Well, that one was interesting

sigh

4:35 PM

hgis

who casts the close votes on such posts?

Tinkeringbell has removed A J from the list of this room's owners.

Tinkeringbell has removed Tinkeringbell from the list of this room's owners.

Tinkeringbell has added sphennings to the list of this room's owners.

Tinkeringbell has added Cashbee to the list of this room's owners.

4:50 PM

eyyyyyyyy! Thanks, @Tinkeringbell

Congrats @Cashbee and @sphennings

So, just for clarity: We went with Cashbee and sphennings based on timezones and seniority ;-) No offense to the people we didn't pick, you were all very good candidates :D

what timezone is sphennings in?

one of them

Eastern US

That is if we can believe what his SO profile says

4:54 PM

@Feeds @Tinkeringbell Why'd you remove yourself?

I hereby vow that I will use my powers only for good :)

@DJMcMayhem Tinkeringbell was recently made a moderator of IPS, so a new RO was needed

@Cashbee Screw that I'm using my powers for schenanigans.

@Rainbacon I knew that, but there's no reason they couldn't stay room owners

Not that it matters, I'm just curious

@Rainbacon I'm in Boston (eastern US)

4:57 PM

I think the idea was to have the moderators and room owners not be the same people to reduce their workload

@DJMcMayhem After careful deliberation (read, one or two messages) we decided that it would be better to have 'normal, human' room owners :P

@Cashbee Remember, Chaotic Evil means never having to say you're sorry

@sphennings Your SO profile said you were in Boston, so I assumed that was correct

@Tinkeringbell normal is boring

I'm sorry

4:58 PM

@Tinkeringbell Rather than alien mods? :P

@DJMcMayhem Exactly :P there's already so many of them in this room there probably won't be anything to do for the new room owners except clean up after Mithrandirs comment bot (because he almost never does that himself :P )

@RichardU I'm normal. I've never been called boring before.

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