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A J
A J
4:43 AM
→ 15 messages moved to trash
It was nice talking to you @IPSCommentBot.
 
D.Hutchinson
D.Hutchinson
5:25 AM
sup @Mithrandir
 
 
3 hours later…
Mithrandir
Mithrandir
7:57 AM
@Catija - ???
 
Extroverted Main Man
Extroverted Main Man
-1
Q: How to get out of family affairs

MortaI'm a 22 years old student, living in a little village in Germany. Everyone knows everybody and will identify you with your family name. And here is my Problem: Like I said, I'm not that old but very independent. I have my own apartment, and just try to life by my own. But anywhere I go, I get...

family germany
 
Cashbee
Cashbee
8:59 AM
@ExtrovertedMainMan Sounds very much like "What should I do?" without ever using the word "should"
 
 
1 hour later…
Cashbee
Cashbee
10:01 AM
8
Q: How to shut someone up while being only moderately offensive when they incessantly criticize my house?

ab2I know I am close to OCD about being averse to clutter. I put things away in their designated drawer or shelf, or throw (or give) them away if we are unlikely to use them again. That is, I am a neatnik to extremes, I admit it. I have a couple of in-laws who repeatedly say things like Yo...

in-laws criticism
 
Extroverted Main Man
Extroverted Main Man
10:16 AM
0
Q: How to deal with a friend that is interfering with my relatioship

SigmaOneI have a friend who is constantly interfering my relationship, and it is getting pretty annoying. I can't figure out how to tell her to not do that without offending her too much.

relationships
 
Mithrandir
Mithrandir
10:26 AM
→ 9 messages moved to trash
 
A J
A J
→ Mithrandir moved to Charcoal
 
 
2 hours later…
Extroverted Main Man
Extroverted Main Man
12:05 PM
1
Q: How to tell a gay co-worker to stay far and to never try to flirt

Moslem CherifI am working in a company in Germany, and I have co-workers from different cultures and countries. As a person, I am open and I don't have any problem with any religion or idea, because I believe everyone is free in this life. Around 2 months ago, the company recruited someone who's gay. For me, ...

work-environment germany coworkers sex
 
Mithrandir
Mithrandir
that would have been caught by the old "you should" regex, but that was removed
maybe that would be worth adding again if combined with the magic comment?
 
Cashbee
Cashbee
depends.. why was it removed in the first place?
 
Mithrandir
Mithrandir
Too may FPs on "you should edit" etc
 
Cashbee
Cashbee
to be fair, saying "you should edit" is not really polite and *should* usually be worded like "please edit". But that doesn't mean that nobody writes it that way and I believe you that it triggered too many false positives.

but still, looking for "you should" would be the ultimate pattern to detect any aic. I would reinstate it (I'm not telling you to do so..). If there was a chatroom for all the bots this would not be worth a discussion I guess :)
 
Catija
Catija
@Mithrandir ??
 
Mithrandir
Mithrandir
12:20 PM
@Catija that was a link.
Those last 6 flags, all declined 9 hours ago.
 
Catija
Catija
@Mithrandir Sorry. I'm on vacation. And it's 7 am.
 
Mithrandir
Mithrandir
> declined - canned flags are kinda insulting to the folks who have to evaluate these and are looking for some hints as to what to look for
>.<
> declined - Using 500 characters, describe the problem with this post and why your previous flag should not have been disputed. thank you.
 
Catija
Catija
12:38 PM
@Mithrandir Considering the fact we've sat on those flags for a while, I think it's a fair point.
If we aren't sure how to respond, maybe we need some specific explanation of the problem.
 
Mithrandir
Mithrandir
So... you want me to include a link to the meta policy in every flag? I'm not quite sure what can be gained in addition to a flag stating that it's a "try this" answer and the comment that I leave.
 
Cashbee
Cashbee
why is this one primarily opinion based? I think it's a good question.
0
Q: How should I tell someone once in a vulnerable state the truth?

oupoupA very close friend of mine, let's call him David, in his mid-thirties has just (1 year and a half) recovered from a very hard and horrifying for his environment state of drug abuse and isolation that lasted more than 10 years in a culminating manner. With a strong physique (former martial arts ...

conflicts introverts responsibility bad-news substance-abuse
 
Mithrandir
Mithrandir
1:01 PM
→ 16 messages moved to trash
 
Cashbee
Cashbee
I have been invited to 'trash' - so that's what this site thinks of me ;)
jk, just finding the wording of the notification very funny :)
 
Mithrandir
Mithrandir
1:27 PM
@RichardU would you mind dropping the discussion on that gay post please?
Comments are not for extended discussions, or for chatting. Comments are for clarifying and improving the post; please don’t use them for other purposes. Please take other discussions to Interpersonal Skills Chat. — Arwen Undómiel 2 mins ago
 
Richard U
Richard U
@Mithrandir your command is my wish, Sahib.
 
Mithrandir
Mithrandir
?
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
@Mithrandir I think Richard is referencing a movie, but I don't remember which one
 
Richard U
Richard U
@Rainbacon Actually, It's corporal Klinger from MASH.
I think he said Sahib. He may have said affendi. I don't remember.
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
1:43 PM
@RichardU Ah yes, of course, I should have known that. Guess I need to rewatch it again
 
Crazy Cucumber
Crazy Cucumber
Do you guys agree with revision 5 of this question:
https://interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/12348/how-to-tell-a-gay-co-worker-to-stay-far-and-to-never-try-to-flirt
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
I guess it depends on what you mean by agree with
 
Crazy Cucumber
Crazy Cucumber
I feel like that revision is not in line with the OP's original intention.
 
Cashbee
Cashbee
it confuscates the meaning of the question quite a bit.
@CrazyCucumber exactly
 
Crazy Cucumber
Crazy Cucumber
Well, not trying to think of that question and ruin my day. How y'all doing :)
 
Sid
Sid
1:53 PM
@CrazyCucumber Just surviving.
 
Crazy Cucumber
Crazy Cucumber
@Sid Same
 
Cashbee
Cashbee
I'm very fine, thank you. What do you mean you don't believe me? I'm FINE! no, really!okay okay you got me; I'm bored :D
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
Yes, in that sense, I agree that it is counter to the OP's intent
 
Cashbee
Cashbee
@CrazyCucumber also, many answers are quoting from the deleted/altered sentences.
 
Crazy Cucumber
Crazy Cucumber
Yes, the edit does make the question "nicer", but changes what it originally was. And now the OP has edited his question to add a line that says "I have many gay friends"; which is directly contradictory to his original statement of: "I don't want to have any relationship with gays, friendship or whatever."
 
Cashbee
Cashbee
1:56 PM
as I said, I don't have any problem with gays (I have some friends), but what I wrong mentioned, but I won't accept any kind of flirting from their part, that was all. — Moslem Cherif 7 mins ago
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
Did anyone else find the names of the OP and the person who made the edit in question to be oddly similar?
 
Cashbee
Cashbee
now that you mention it yes. But as long as he isn't misusing it for multiple voting or similar stuff it is ok (I think?). Anyway, OP approved the edit.
with every chagne of the question i find myself more and more confused
 
Richard U
Richard U
It looks to me like the OP may have used a translator or has a very poor command of the English language. The latest revision is fairly close to how I read it. I am used to people who are not strong in English from my family and friends and from working for a few multinational companies.
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
I'm mostly just hoping that this question doesn't make it to HNQ
I feel like that could lead to some issues
 
Richard U
Richard U
@Rainbacon not likely with all the down-votes and accusations of homophobia going on. All we need is the torches and pitchforks
 
Cashbee
Cashbee
2:35 PM
I just used up my last daily flags for the comments of that Q. Some of them reached the needed amount of flags to get removed, but some didn't. Now the comment section consists of many non-related comments, many of them still in need of more flags. flag-pls nln
 
LinuxBlanket
LinuxBlanket
@Cashbee I used mine as well
 
Richard U
Richard U
@Cashbee you can always flag a Q or A itself and let the mods look at that.
 
Em C
Em C
@Cashbee I think the preferred action is to custom flag the post and ask mods to clean up, when there's that many in a single chain. saves you some flags too :)
 
Mithrandir
Mithrandir
@RichardU You can also help and remove your parts...
 
Cashbee
Cashbee
@EmC ahh didnt think of that
 
Em C
Em C
2:38 PM
@Cashbee on the plus side, as you get more flags accepted the system will give you more to use :)
 
Cashbee
Cashbee
but until a mod shows up, flag-nln if you haven't already
 
IPS Comment Bot
IPS Comment Bot
@Peter I agree, frustration is a better word. I think the meaning I wanted to convey got a little lost in translation there. — DonQuiKong 58 secs ago
#12162 DonQuiKong (219 rep) | A: How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop? (score: 1) | posted 5 days ago by DonQuiKong (219 rep) | edited 18 seconds ago by DonQuiKong (219 rep)
Matched regex(es) ["chatty"]
 
LinuxBlanket
LinuxBlanket
the comments are getting revised and deleted
 
Em C
Em C
interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/12141/… comments here could use some flags too (answering in comments)
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
So many comments to flag
@EmC What's the right flag for AIC?
 
Mithrandir
Mithrandir
2:42 PM
NLN
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
Thanks
 
Richard U
Richard U
@EmC wow, you're right. Some of those are downright nasty.
 
Mithrandir
Mithrandir
or you can use a custom flag, but I've given that up on IPS long ago
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
This might be the first day I've ever used up all my flags
 
Cashbee
Cashbee
2 hours ago I asked here what was wrong with [this Q](https://interpersonal.stackexchange.com/q/12325/8077) . No response. But now it is in fact reviewed to be reopened.
Is one of the close-voters here? It has not been edited since it was closed, and the question looks good to me. So why was it closed?
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
2:46 PM
And there's all my flags
 
Richard U
Richard U
@Rainbacon I'm nearly out myself. There seems to be a spate of rudeness going on on SE in general. I've had over 150 accepted flags on TWP in just over a month.
 
Em C
Em C
@Cashbee first impression: wow that's a lot of text, and the title is also really vague.. but I agree, I don't see why it's opinion based more so than anything else on here
 
Richard U
Richard U
Reading all those comments has only reinforced my misanthropy.
 
Mithrandir
Mithrandir
@Rainbacon :/ it's on HNQ
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
Well, let's just hope it goes better than some of the other questions we've had get to HNQ
 
Em C
Em C
2:52 PM
@Mithrandir hmm at what point does it make sense to protect the question
 
Mithrandir
Mithrandir
@EmC After it starts getting bad answers from new users.
 
Em C
Em C
oh, I don't have the option to do that yet :/
 
Mithrandir
Mithrandir
I don't remember what the rep level for that is on beta sites... it's 15k on graduated sites.
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
Is there a threshold for that we should be looking for? 1 bad answer from a new user, 5, 10?
 
Richard U
Richard U
@Mithrandir yes, but you can't protect in 30 seconds :/
 
Em C
Em C
2:53 PM
this may be a good candidate for the "controversial post" notice instead?
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
The question can't be protected until it's a day old?
 
Em C
Em C
@Rainbacon appears so :/
 
Cashbee
Cashbee
@EmC yes
 
Em C
Em C
at least, by us mere mortals :P
 
Richard U
Richard U
@Rainbacon we've had a few problems like that in TWP as well. After a Q made it to hacker news, we got overrun with bad A's to Qs, rude comments, and no ability to effectively act against them.
 
Em C
Em C
2:58 PM
@Cashbee I just mod flagged to suggest the notice
 
Richard U
Richard U
I've noticed a few of the comments I've flagged disappearing right after flagging them. So, enough people must be active in the cleanup for that to start happening.
 
Em C
Em C
interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/12141/… funny how OP has 30k rep on SE sites and doesn't know about protected questions and answering in comments... anyways there's a couple more flags for those who want 'em
 
Cashbee
Cashbee
@EmC I have no more flags today. If I don't survive the day, tell my mother I love her /s
 
Em C
Em C
@Cashbee hahah, RIP :P
thank you for your service :P
 
Cashbee
Cashbee
:) always
 
Crazy Cucumber
Crazy Cucumber
3:10 PM
I have a lot of flags left still, in case anyone want anything flagged.
 
Richard U
Richard U
@CrazyCucumber plenty of opportunities here
5
Q: How to tell a gay co-worker to stay far and to never try to flirt

Moslem CherifI am working in a company in Germany, and I have co-workers from different cultures and countries. As a person, I am open and I don't have any problem with any religion or idea, because I believe everyone is free in this life. Around 2 months ago, the company recruited someone who's gay. For me, ...

work-environment germany lgbt+ coworkers flirting
 
Crazy Cucumber
Crazy Cucumber
@RichardU I am just so over that question and those comments. That question should be outright deleted, but there is no valid reason for deletion. I will try my best to go over those comments.
 
Richard U
Richard U
@CrazyCucumber I could tell right off the start that the person didn't like getting hit on, which was the essence of the question. Rather than answer the question and edit for the OP's difficulties with English, the attacks started and the virtue signaling commenced.
 
Crazy Cucumber
Crazy Cucumber
Yeah I did not agree with half the comments. We are not here to evaluate the character of OP. Just answer the question from an interpersonal aspect instead of political correctness. It was a simple question about having gay men not hit on him. Some answers are actually good, just the comments going crazy!
 
Cashbee
Cashbee
@CrazyCucumber Don't if you don't want to. It is nice of you to be willing to help, but I fear for your mental health if you continue to dwell in such dark and infuriating places like that question. You would help this stack much more if you don't scare yourself off right away :) :)
 
Jesse Barnett
Jesse Barnett
3:23 PM
"The co-worker started to talk with me with some flirting words, and saying that he likes me and he would like to have a relation, and that he'll be happy if I visit him in his appartment and then we can look which plan we can do."
 
Cashbee
Cashbee
Oh you have been a member longer than I have.. :)
 
Crazy Cucumber
Crazy Cucumber
@Cashbee TRUE! I would hate to be that guy that goes nuclear on some of these people. Some times, it is kind of impossible. Like @RichardU even, he tried to be mature but with all these nasty comments, it is not possible. So I stayed away from this!
 
Jesse Barnett
Jesse Barnett
yeah I dont think this is a question for IPS
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
@CrazyCucumber Unfortunately, that tends to happen often with questions that have hot button issues in their subject matter.
 
Jesse Barnett
Jesse Barnett
first up i dont believe one word of it
 
Crazy Cucumber
Crazy Cucumber
3:24 PM
@JesseBarnett yeah NOT AT ALL
 
LinuxBlanket
LinuxBlanket
@JesseBarnett I totally agree
 
Jesse Barnett
Jesse Barnett
secondly, if its true... time to go to HR or ask workplace.se
 
Crazy Cucumber
Crazy Cucumber
I was just going to type that. He saw all the comments and went "OH people don't like that, let me lie now". I feel like this is a troll question to start some riot
 
Jesse Barnett
Jesse Barnett
yeah, it does feel kinda troll
 
Crazy Cucumber
Crazy Cucumber
@Rainbacon yeah that is why I was worried about posting my question about racism. The admins got on the two disugsting answers, but surprisingly, no nasty comments!
 
Cashbee
Cashbee
3:25 PM
Why did OP focus that much on the sexuality of the person hitting on him anyway? Why is the question not like "How to tell a co-worker to stay far and to never try to flirt"? The answers would be exactly the same, with less discussions and name-calling
 
LinuxBlanket
LinuxBlanket
@CrazyCucumber I don't think it's a troll question, only a homophobic person that thought to "reinforce" reality a little to gain credibility
 
Jesse Barnett
Jesse Barnett
@LinuxBlanket yes
 
Crazy Cucumber
Crazy Cucumber
@LinuxBlanket True, but it is kind of a troll question then. I don't know
 
Jesse Barnett
Jesse Barnett
they perhaps added a few extra sprinkles in exxageration because people started getting mad at him and doubting that they flirted at all
 
LinuxBlanket
LinuxBlanket
@JesseBarnett exactly
 
Richard U
Richard U
3:27 PM
.
 
Crazy Cucumber
Crazy Cucumber
A lot of people post questions JUST SO they can talk about their beliefs. There is no question to be answered, but just trying to desperately find a reason to talk about their beliefs.
 
Jesse Barnett
Jesse Barnett
@RichardU did you see the edit? that is not being hit on. that is a person OP just met asking him to have an affair while at work
 
Richard U
Richard U
@JesseBarnett right, male on male never happens, just ask Corey Feldman.
 
LinuxBlanket
LinuxBlanket
@CrazyCucumber yeah but I don't think this is the case
 
Cashbee
Cashbee
@JesseBarnett my exact thoughts since Q was first posted, but I can't prove it so I will not touch that discussion with a 10 foot pole..
 
LinuxBlanket
LinuxBlanket
3:29 PM
it's just an overly awkward attempt to ask for an IPS solution, I guess...
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
That is the first question that user has ever posted here. I think it's likely to just be awkward from lack of experience with the system.
 
LinuxBlanket
LinuxBlanket
in any case, I'll refrain to give an answer, it would get too much effort to not be passive-aggressive
 
Jesse Barnett
Jesse Barnett
I think we might be able to flag as primarily opinion based
because of how OP worded it
 
Richard U
Richard U
@Rainbacon The language the OP used is consistant with someone who's first language is not English and not the "You not take candle" fake variety
 
Crazy Cucumber
Crazy Cucumber
@JesseBarnett Yeah but not after all those edits? If enough of you think it can be flagged as opinion based, I will use a flag for this question
 
Richard U
Richard U
3:32 PM
But beyond that, the best thing to do with toll-bait is not to take it.
 
Crazy Cucumber
Crazy Cucumber
"This shirt is black not"
-Borat
 
Cashbee
Cashbee
Also I think the best answer to "How to handle this situation if it happens to me again in the future?" is Don't start to shout Say "No / Not interested" instead
 
Crazy Cucumber
Crazy Cucumber
@Cashbee which is a very valid interpersonal answer, hence flagging is not an option! :(
 
Richard U
Richard U
@CrazyCucumber IF you ever watched Babylon 5, Zathras's speech pattern was based on a native Polish speaker.
 
Jesse Barnett
Jesse Barnett
@Cashbee no since its at work id be talking to the hiring manager. they are just new and I know for a fact that if I went around asking my seniors to have an affair with me I would not last long
so i dont think the best answer is ips at all.. doesnt really have a place on this site i think
 
Crazy Cucumber
Crazy Cucumber
3:34 PM
We can give our friends at Workplace.SE this question and let them have fun with it :D
 
Jesse Barnett
Jesse Barnett
ahahh
 
Cashbee
Cashbee
lol
 
LinuxBlanket
LinuxBlanket
:D
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
 
Cashbee
Cashbee
This does not provide an answer to the question. To critique or request clarification from an author, leave a comment below their post. - From Review — LinuxBlanket 16 mins ago
No, comments are not for critique :)
 
Richard U
Richard U
3:53 PM
@CrazyCucumber hey, we at TWP may have had our disagreements, but inflicting this one on us goes beyond the pale!
As an aside... Anything that tries to speak to the motive of the person making the post irks me to no end.
 
Cashbee
Cashbee
Lets automatically migrate ALL closed question to TWP, let them have some fun too
 
Em C
Em C
@Cashbee that's a default review comment, I don't know that we can change that
 
Cashbee
Cashbee
@EmC wow haha
 
Richard U
Richard U
 
Crazy Cucumber
Crazy Cucumber
@RichardU Don't care, take it and deal with it at Workplace.SE. LOL. I love IPS.SE and not trying to pollute it with cancerous questions like that :P
 
Richard U
Richard U
4:01 PM
@CrazyCucumber lets edit it to make it have happened at a university, then we can kick it to Academia
 
Crazy Cucumber
Crazy Cucumber
@RichardU Hahaha :D
 
Richard U
Richard U
actually, we've had worse at TWP. Like the one about the blackmailing dominatrix...
 
Crazy Cucumber
Crazy Cucumber
@RichardU PLEASE share the link to that question if you can find it. I would love to see it
 
IPS Comment Bot
IPS Comment Bot
@Xen2050, see above; your comments were deleted because they were responding to dtech's attempt to answer in comments and thus "no longer needed". — Em C 52 secs ago
#12141 Em C (5919 rep) | Q: How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop? (score: 54) | posted 5 days ago by anonymous (273 rep) | edited 49 hours ago by Peter Mortensen (119 rep)
Matched regex(es) ["possible-aic"]
 
Em C
Em C
@IPSCommentBot lol thanks bot. more flags that way ^
 
Richard U
Richard U
4:06 PM
@CrazyCucumber it got deleted. It took us about 30 seconds to close it, and about five to delete it. Then we had a few troll posts with people supposedly from india, but posted with a very poor impression of someone not familiar with English. We have regulars from India, and those such as myself who are very familiar with non-native English speakers and caught that right out.
 
Crazy Cucumber
Crazy Cucumber
You guys might find this amusing: I work in the IT department of a food manufacturing factory in the south (of the US). I am the only Indian in this company and one of 3 other Indian families in this city (which says a lot, Indians in the US are EVERYWHERE). I hear this about 5 times a day: "You remind me of Raj from the Big Bang Theory show". I hate that show -_-
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
@CrazyCucumber Do you hate the show because you dislike the content of it, or because everyone around you stereotypes you based on a character from it?
 
Crazy Cucumber
Crazy Cucumber
@Rainbacon the latter. I used to like the show, now the people around me made me hate it. LOL
 
Richard U
Richard U
@CrazyCucumber I worked with a man named Ashok. The first time I heard his name, I did a double take because it sounds close to a curse word in German. The other Indian employees insisted that I tell them which one. It sounded like the word for A-hole in German.
 
Jesse Barnett
Jesse Barnett
i think the show was cool when it was one of the few embracing nerdiness. but then it got old fast
 
Richard U
Richard U
4:10 PM
@CrazyCucumber the sad thing was that in the early seasons, it tried to get Indian culture right, including subtle things like his cousin reminding him to call his mother.
 
Crazy Cucumber
Crazy Cucumber
@RichardU Hahahaha :D I am glad my name does not really sound like any other noise in any other language.
 
Richard U
Richard U
@JesseBarnett It's become "Friends".
 
spiral succulent
spiral succulent
@CrazyCucumber I work in Silicon Valley for a large tech company and I am in the minority as a white American born person, total opposite of Cucumber's situation
 
Crazy Cucumber
Crazy Cucumber
@RichardU yeah and it got worse and worse, like the dance numbers. Like, really?
@spiralsucculent yeah you go tell someone your name is John and they would go "Oh I will call you Suresh Ramachandran, it is easier for me" XD
 
spiral succulent
spiral succulent
Hahaha
 
Richard U
Richard U
4:12 PM
@CrazyCucumber another funny story. I do accents (and voices) and one day I slipped into my Indian accent in front of Ashok. He stopped dead in his tracks and said "That's pretty good".
 
spiral succulent
spiral succulent
I've had a lot of fun celebrating Holi with my team, and Diwali a few months ago
@RichardU Thats a good outcome
also must be an actually decent accent instead of the really bad stereotype accent
 
Crazy Cucumber
Crazy Cucumber
Yeah @spiralsucculent Indians are surprisingly not "A-hole so tight you can pull a John Deere tractor with a thread" kinda people.
 
Richard U
Richard U
@spiralsucculent I do mimicry, not mockery.
 
spiral succulent
spiral succulent
@RichardU (Y)
 
Crazy Cucumber
Crazy Cucumber
@RichardU NICE
I like how you put that.
 
spiral succulent
spiral succulent
4:14 PM
Definitely a good distinction to make when putting on accents
 
Richard U
Richard U
I go for authenticity. I haven't been able to master the regional dialectal accents yet.
 
Sid
Sid
The large number of Indians in the US is mostly down to the higher population of Indian-origin people...
 
Richard U
Richard U
For some reason, my Indian coworkers adopted me while I worked at one place.
 
Crazy Cucumber
Crazy Cucumber
@RichardU Yeah, the south alone has 3 different accents. Telugu people, Kerala people, and Tamil people have different accents.
 
Sid
Sid
@RichardU And here, I see people desperately trying to create an American accent...
 
Richard U
Richard U
4:16 PM
@Sid New Jersey has three accents alone.
Oh, and of course, I learned how to curse In Hindi
:D
 
spiral succulent
spiral succulent
Thinking about somebody trying to develop the 'accent' that is your native way of speaking is really amusing
 
Crazy Cucumber
Crazy Cucumber
@Sid I HATE THAT. I still speak AS INDIAN AS I ever have. I always work on improving my grammar and vocabulary, but never tried changing my accent. Nor have I given people a fake name. I am still Indian, I will try my best to communicate as well as I can, but in my own accent.
 
Sid
Sid
@CrazyCucumber Same. I never understood the point of that.
 
spiral succulent
spiral succulent
@Sid I've been wanting to catch you in here, how did your party go>
 
Richard U
Richard U
@CrazyCucumber I've seen many Indians in America condense their name to one or two syllables. A coworker of mine went by "Dipesh" instead of "Dipeshkumar" to make things easier.
 
Sid
Sid
4:18 PM
@spiralsucculent Ah, we cancelled that.
 
spiral succulent
spiral succulent
Shucks
 
Crazy Cucumber
Crazy Cucumber
@RichardU I can understand that. My real name is "Sumanth Krishnamoorthy"
I say my name is Sumanth to people I am conversing with. But in Starbucks (where they INSIST on me giving a name), I shorten my last name to Chris (the first 4 letters of my last name spelled differently)
 
Richard U
Richard U
@CrazyCucumber Indian names aren't that hard for Americans to pronounce, so I don't see the need to change them. Chinese Americans usually go for something phonetically similar in English. Xiaoyin beomces "Helen" and so forth.
 
Sid
Sid
@spiralsucculent There were some issues which crept up in the last minute. We didn't want people to be disappointed by the party because we messed up somewhere.
@RichardU Well, I am an Indian not in America and I usually condense my name to a single syllable.
Lots of people do that...
 
Richard U
Richard U
@CrazyCucumber your name would be easy to pronounce. And Starbucks is the bane of all existence.
 
Sid
Sid
4:21 PM
@CrazyCucumber that's why don't go to Starbucks.
 
Crazy Cucumber
Crazy Cucumber
@RichardU I can only partly agree to that sentence. Indian names are hard for a lot of Americans and not hard for a lot. Well educated Americans who've met people from other cultures could say my name at first shot. But where I am, nope!
 
Richard U
Richard U
@Sid other ethnicities in the USA don't do it as often.
 
Crazy Cucumber
Crazy Cucumber
@Sid I don't, but if I ever do. A lot of other places like Hardee's or even some McD's around here want a name for the order.
 
Richard U
Richard U
@CrazyCucumber Well, I grew up in the shadow of NY City, my grandparents were immigrants and most of my friends were the same growing up, so I guess I've had good exposure
@CrazyCucumber if it's any consolation, I have yet to meet an American who can pronounce my last name.
aaaaaaaaaaaaand I'm out of flags.
 
Mithrandir
Mithrandir
@RichardU I've still got around 60, I think.
Which means I've raised 40 flags today.
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
4:29 PM
Most Americans I know will shorten Indian names. I worked with a guy for a while named Rajkumar, and everyone called him Raj. It's always seemed to me to just be a nickname, the same way we often shorten names like Peter to Pete or William to Will
 
Richard U
Richard U
@Mithrandir I won't bash IPS. I've been flagging at TWP like mad as well. Is there something in the water, or has the nastiness been turned up to 11 in the last month or so.
 
Mithrandir
Mithrandir
Nobody can ever accent my name correctly. It's got three syllables. Everyone accents one of the first two. The correct accent is the third.
@RichardU shrugs I mostly just flag spam on TWP, haven't been following the comments.
 
Richard U
Richard U
@Rainbacon I've been tempted to change the spelling of my last name because in nearly 50 years, I haven't heard an American pronounce it correctly. The Brits have no problem with it though. Probably due to their familiarity with the Germans.
@Mithrandir Well, what I've noticed extends well past SE. I'm quitting FB over how nasty it's become.
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
I have a fairly easy name to pronounce, but for some reason no one can seem to spell it correctly
 
IPS Comment Bot
IPS Comment Bot
4:45 PM
I'm gay myself but -1. Whether homophobic or not, if someone is being pursued romantically and it's unwanted, they have a right to have that behaviour stop. I once had a girl in school pursue me which was highly irritating and uncomfortable - I sympathise with the OP. — user1997744 1 min ago
#12355 user1997744 (150 rep) | A: How to tell a gay co-worker to stay far and to never try to flirt (score: 4) | posted 3 hours ago by Shadowfox (213 rep)
Matched regex(es) [""]
 
NVZ
NVZ
5:00 PM
hello ɡood evening
 
Em C
Em C
5:20 PM
hmm I feel like it's pretty bad that Shog had to step in to deal with that question..
@NVZ hello o/
 
Richard U
Richard U
@EmC Shog is pretty hands-off. What he did was necessary.
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
Whoa, I don't think I've ever seen something like that before
 
Em C
Em C
@RichardU yeah - that's what makes it surprising :\
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
Did something go crazy with that question in the past hour?
 
Em C
Em C
don't get me wrong, I think that was a good call, just wondering if there's something we could have done better
 
Richard U
Richard U
5:33 PM
@EmC the nastiness was terrible.
@Rainbacon yes, it became THE BIG HATE right out of 1984
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
Oh wow, I missed it while my team was having our scrum meeting
 
Richard U
Richard U
@EmC we did all that we could, which was flag like mad, and get the mods attention.
Once the "homophobia" whistle had been blown, nothing could save it.
 
Em C
Em C
@RichardU fighting the good fight..
 
Richard U
Richard U
from the edit, it sounded like the coworker got fairly graphic, thus justifying the reaction.
 
Em C
Em C
I was debating whether to VTC as unclear because OP kept changing the meaning substantially with the edits
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
5:36 PM
When I last checked it about an hour and a half ago, it didn't seem like it was having many more problems than questions like that typically get around here.
 
Richard U
Richard U
@EmC I think the OP's intent was clear from the beginning. His last edit came across as what I interpreted it to be to begin with. then again, I am used to dealing with people who aren't very good with English
@Rainbacon Oh, the OP was savaged in the comments, and in a few answers as well. Not since Magisch's famous post did an OP get so much hate.
The comments were getting so many flags that they were disappearing quickly, so you may not have seen all of them
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
ah
 
Em C
Em C
@RichardU yeah I saw that earlier conversation.. I was confused because it went from "I don't want friendship with such people" to "I have friends who are".. that and the last edit invalidated a lot of answers too
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
I think I used 60% of my flags today on that post
Granted, I only get 11 a day right now
 
Em C
Em C
also I grew up in a very .. homogenous area though, so our backgrounds are quite different :P
 
Richard U
Richard U
5:41 PM
@EmC "Friendship" is a tricky translation. I took it to mean relationship, which is what he meant it as. I think he was trying to translate from Arabic into English, but even if he was translating from German, the familiar in German means much more than it does in English
 
Em C
Em C
@RichardU ahhh, that makes a lot more sense now
 
Richard U
Richard U
for example "du" translates to "you" in English, but the meaning in German is much different. The denotation is the same, but the connotation is much much different.
@EmC I've had to do a lot of translations for friends and relatives over the years
@Rainbacon I used all of my flags in TWP once, and my rep is over 60K. Do you know how hard that is to do?
 
Crazy Cucumber
Crazy Cucumber
I don't know about you guys, but I love Shog9 for just crumbling that question and throwing it in the trash!
 
Steven Goodman
Steven Goodman
I'm just glad that those highly upvoted, highly rude comments finally got removed...
 
Richard U
Richard U
@CrazyCucumber I think it could have been saved and kicked over to TWP, because it was actually an HR issue, not an IPS one.
@StevenGoodman AMEN BROTHER
 
Crazy Cucumber
Crazy Cucumber
5:45 PM
@StevenGoodman Agree.
 
Richard U
Richard U
Shog deleted them as rude, so each of them get a -100 rep consolation prize. GOOD!
 
IPS Comment Bot
IPS Comment Bot
I dropped the downvote, but you haven't yet earned my upvote ;) — spiral succulent 1 min ago
#12367 spiral succulent (466 rep) | A: How should I tell someone once in a vulnerable state the truth? (score: 0) | posted 49 minutes ago by elliot svensson (263 rep) | edited 6 minutes ago by elliot svensson (263 rep)
Matched regex(es) ["chatty"]
 
Crazy Cucumber
Crazy Cucumber
@RichardU maybe, but it definitely did seem like a troll post. So I don't know.
 
spiral succulent
spiral succulent
@IPSCommentBot >:(
Comment bot doesn't take into account the context
lol
 
Richard U
Richard U
@CrazyCucumber Nah, I've seen real troll posts. The lack of familiarity of English was real, the edits progressed towards greater clarity. That one didn't set off my trolldar. And, as a master of Trolljitsu, I can recognize an attempt.
@spiralsucculent at least commentbot doesn't autoflag
 
Steven Goodman
Steven Goodman
5:48 PM
Also the user seemed to be active on other SEs and had answered another question genuinely on IPS before
 
spiral succulent
spiral succulent
hahaha, I would say that I am a 2nd Dan in Trolljitsu, but my trolldar needs work
@RichardU amen
 
Richard U
Richard U
@spiralsucculent if it had been a troll, you would have seen more of the YOU NO TAKE CANDLE English, and OBFUSCATING STUPIDITY in his comments.
I spent years as a moderator on other sites and trolled even more. Not much gets by me.
 
spiral succulent
spiral succulent
I have more experience being the antagonist than having to differentiate between genuine difficulty communicating and trolling
 
Richard U
Richard U
6:16 PM
@spiralsucculent every troll thinks he's doing something new. It's all the same formula tho, with the ultimate goal of getting a reaction.
 
spiral succulent
spiral succulent
6:50 PM
I don't want to point to any specific user, but I feel that we have some regular answerers who have gained a lot of rep completely disregarding actually talking about interpersonal skills
If interpersonal stuff is included in their answer its not the main focus, the answers are often good advice to the situation which is why they get upvotes
oh wait, you were responding to my previous message
whoops
revenge downvoting is so dumb...
inb4chattyCommentFromMe
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
Did you get revenge downvoted?
 
Richard U
Richard U
7:14 PM
@Rainbacon at TWP, we have a few downvote stalkers. Basically, anyone with over 30k rep on TWP has at least one. There are few answers that don't get a downvote without comment.
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
@RichardU I don't doubt that it happens, but spiral succulent randomly posted about revenge downvoting, so I was wondering if it happened to them.
 
Richard U
Richard U
7:25 PM
@Rainbacon when you get to a certain rep, it attracting one almost becomes a badge of honor. One down-vote on a A that got over 300 up-votes is nothing, but it does bring some amusement as it's akin to trying to stop a forest fire by peeing on it.
 
spiral succulent
spiral succulent
@Rainbacon as you can see from comment bot, no I actually didn't, he had a good point, but lag time between down vote and comment caused me to think otherwise
Because an upvote is +10 and a downvote is -2, the rep impact is nothing to get upset about
 
Steven Goodman
Steven Goodman
@RichardU As someone who has basically accidentally become a serial downvoter on one high-ish rep user (due to my distaste for the amount of judgement they put in their answers), some of us actually just don't like your answers :P
 
spiral succulent
spiral succulent
But I often run into situations where I will criticize and downvote somebody'e answer and 'mysteriously' I will get a downvote or two
@StevenGoodman as long as you comment why the answer is not good in your opinion
 
Steven Goodman
Steven Goodman
@spiralsucculent For the user I'm talking about, I did for a while but stopped since they never took the advice of removing their personal judgment from the answer. Just downvoted/flagged from then on.
 
spiral succulent
spiral succulent
Downvoting is a good tool when used to call attention to a legitimate issue with a post
lol, it played the @ notification noise twice because you edited the post
@StevenGoodman you should add a comment every once in a while sharing why you downvoted
 
Steven Goodman
Steven Goodman
7:33 PM
@spiralsucculent And I personally end up doing something like revenge downvoting when another answerer's comment brings my attention to their answer which usually ends up being at odds with my own. But it isn't a revenge downvote as much as it is "If this person found an issue with my answer, I bet I'll have an issue with theirs" lol
 
spiral succulent
spiral succulent
@StevenGoodman Yeah, thats what I think happened between me and ArtHas just now
But in general I try to ignore the fact that I have a 'competing' answer when judging a question
 
Steven Goodman
Steven Goodman
(spoiler alert: I'm Arthas but chat doesn't allow you to use exchange-specific profile in chat without setting one globally)
 
spiral succulent
spiral succulent
haha
hi there, I'm glad we both acted like responsible SO citizens over the past 20 minutes :)
 
Richard U
Richard U
@StevenGoodman What you are doing is sincere. What I'm talking about is when you get 100+ up-votes, and a single down-vote with no explanation. Even the occasional down-voter who throws in an insult is less annoying.
 
Steven Goodman
Steven Goodman
@RichardU Although I believe a fair amount of people do just spite high rep users, I bet a lot of them are just afraid to comment with a suggestion when an answer has overwhelming support
High rep users are scary
 
Richard U
Richard U
7:37 PM
Hi @Tinkeringbell two important things. 1)All hell broke loose today and 2) I had nothing to do with it
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
@RichardU It isn't always.... You can post an answer perfectly valid from your culture/experience, and someone else that can actually relate to the culture the question is asked from can go 'noooo, that would put person in danger'... and write their own answer..
I just cut in because you're raising the kids wrong. This is supposed to be a community, not Tink's cult for the depraved
 
Richard U
Richard U
@Tinkeringbell We're depraved because we're deprived. In fact, I think I'm going to blame all of my sadism on my poverty and serial homelessness. Anything that can't fit in that, I'll blame on blood sugar and autism.
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
I was just perusing the transcript to see if comment bot was behaving, when I saw the discussion on voting, and I think there is one important point to consider here (mentioned above) that we need a lot more of, and that I wanted to mention in this discussion ;)
@StevenGoodman Boo!
 
Richard U
Richard U
@Tinkeringbell we voted and flagged like gangbusters today. Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on your point of view, Shog got involved.
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
@RichardU I don't want to know
 
Richard U
Richard U
7:40 PM
@Tinkeringbell it was a good thing. The community stepped in and shut down some nastiness.
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
→ 30 messages moved to trash
 
Richard U
Richard U
Shog gave a few people "closed as rude" for their nasty answers as we flagged them.
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
@RichardU What part of 'I don't want to know...' don't you know?
 
Richard U
Richard U
@Tinkeringbell well, I thought you'd want to know that it wasn't a bad thing, that's all.
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
I just cleaned up the mess the comment bot left, now I'm back to crocheting squares. @StevenGoodman please take into consideration that you don't downvote opposing answers if they are backed up with cultural experience that matches the question's cultural context and you're good to go :)
 
Steven Goodman
Steven Goodman
7:43 PM
@Tinkeringbell Oh yeah I don't do that.
 
Richard U
Richard U
@Tinkeringbell I always down-vote on whether or not it answers the question and if it fits the scope of the site.
 
Crazy Cucumber
Crazy Cucumber
@Tinkeringbell Hi :)
 
Richard U
Richard U
Okay, room owner is here. Everyone behave
 
Crazy Cucumber
Crazy Cucumber
Shhh quiet kids
I downvote if someone posts an answer that I posted an answer in and theirs is better than mine
JK, I don't
:P
 
Steven Goodman
Steven Goodman
I feel like the fiasco that happened today could use a meta question to discuss it.
I've personally noticed a recent spike in answers/comments having more rudeness/judgement embedded in them. :(
 
Mithrandir
Mithrandir
7:48 PM
@Tinkeringbell this is a helpful script to help out with that - github.com/JC3/SEUserScripts/raw/master/ChatMoveHelper.user.js
 
Richard U
Richard U
I'm getting this T-shirt
@StevenGoodman A problem this site has had is that many answers and comments are speaking either to the OP's motives or how the OP's situation is terrible with precious little going to solve the IPS problem..
 
Steven Goodman
Steven Goodman
@RichardU Which is unfortunate. Because even if OP were a bigot, it doesn't mean we shouldn't help him have better interpersonal skills.
 
Richard U
Richard U
@StevenGoodman ESPECIALLY if the OP was a bigot. An old saying a preacher I knew used to drop was "you don't preach to saints"
 
Crazy Cucumber
Crazy Cucumber
@StevenGoodman Which is what @RichardU and I were fighting for. Some battles, you just never win.
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
@StevenGoodman Why do you think we need a meta discussion about it? I felt that the community did well in using our powers appropriately. The post ultimately needed intervention from one of the mods (in this case a CM handled it), but I thought the community did a good job of moderating what we could up to the point that Shog got involved.
 
Steven Goodman
Steven Goodman
7:59 PM
@Rainbacon Maybe it's been discussed before, but it looked like a significant amount of users (some semi-regular users) aren't aware that answers should distance themselves from rudeness within their answers. The fact that several very rude comments/answers got as many upvotes as they did was rather sad.
 
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