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12:21 AM
0
Q: If I suggest an activity on a group chat, should I expect a response from people who are uninterested?

roadrunnermanBackground I'm an intern in a group chat with the other interns where I work. We're the only people in our age group (early 20s) at the company, and none of us are from or from near the small town in which we live, which we are living in for a relatively short amount of time, so without spending...

 
@WitanapDanu Yep. While the main point was to find answers in comments, it's also doing a pretty good job of identifying questions that need to be edited or closed.
 
Well, I see the avatar's been changed. I thought there as a new Mithrand onsite. Guess I need to pay closer attention to such things.
I kind of guessed that it was serving the secondary purpose of VLQ/POB/unclear question identification.
 
12:45 AM
The bot is actually written and maintained by thesecretmaster, at my request and to my specifications ;P
 
That explains the bot's home site.
I like that avatar collection. Interesting progression.
 
I've been binge-drinking Tropicana Pure Premium OJ -- the one with lots of pulp 🍊
😋
 
When I use one, I keep it simple. I just borrow the face of Rusty.
 
@WitanapDanu welcome to IPS :)
 
I thought Rusty was a raccoon, not a red panda...
 
12:50 AM
I've been binge-drinking coffee, the one with lots of caffeine in it
 
Nice 👍
 
I'm kinda sleeping
 
Well, they do look like a raccoon more than what people have been taught to think a panda looks like
Though, iirc the Giant Panda is not a panda.
 
🌰🐿
Lots of squirrels here in Manhattan
 
Aha, Rusty the Raccoon and Rusty the Panda are entirely separate entities.
 
12:53 AM
I was eating Ferrero Rocher chocolates at a park and a squirrel kept begging me for one ... I felt bad for not sharing ...
 
@D.Hutchinson Glad you didn't. Chocolate is toxic to them.
 
Oo I see ...
 
Not immediately fatal, but it builds up in their systems and they cannot remove it.
 
I see
 
interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/10955/… - this doesn't seem unclear per se to me, but it does seem off topic.
 
12:56 AM
Is this your first night on IPS SE, @WitanapDanu?
 
Yet to me is seems quite on topic, but not sure what the end game is.
@D.Hutchinson Nope
 
If so, welcome @WitanapDanu :)
 
@D.Hutchinson Witan has been around since private beta.
 
Though my presence is rare. More a watcher than a talker in here. Just started talking because of a bot's posting
 
Oo I see ...
 
12:59 AM
Anyway, I will probably go quiet now, as it's probably around the witching hour by now, so...
 
It's always around the witching hour somewhere on our globe.
It's always Five-O'Clock somewhere too. :D
 
"from midnight to 3AM" - ah, so it just ended here.
 
Have fun, nonetheless.
 
@Mithrandir put up a comment or meta then :)
 
@Tinkeringbell I'll take another look at it in the morning
 
1:14 AM
@Mithrandir Yeah, I should go too...
 
 
2 hours later…
3:30 AM
0
Q: Awkward situation: My attempts to remain closeted have convinced my coworker that I'm homophobic

Cowboy12I started this job one month ago. I work in an at-will state, so I could be fired for being gay. I was cautious at first, and that appears to have been wise. I'm not sure how my manager feels, but two of my coworkers are homophobic assholes. They have a bitter and cold relationship with my cowork...

 
 
3 hours later…
6:26 AM
 
@apaul Why? It is a legitimate response, and probably a legal recourse in some countries (which wasn't given by OP)
Frankly, it'd be my likely action if I was in that position as well.
 
@GypsySpellweaver It isn't an interpersonal answer, and it isn't supported. Basically it's low quality, not necessarily wrong, but it neatly evades the interpersonal aspects and doesn't explain how or why it should work.
 
All good reasons for a down vote. It's not a good answer. It is an answer. Sometimes interpersonal skills involves knowing when being interpersonal is not the appropriate course of action.
 
@GypsySpellweaver And that would be a completely viable answer if they explained why that was the case. Kinda helps to at least nod at the premise of the site while making a frame challenge.
Also... Going to HR in "at will" state can be a bit hazardous. They're often completely free to choose between the two assholes and the one gay guy and that choice may not land in the OP's favor.
 
6:47 AM
I'm going to guess that the OP is in USA from the phraseology, and yes termination is a possibility. Documentation of the situation beforehand and a civil complaint are also possible. Most states now recognize that behavior as actionable. All that is well outside the realm of this site, however. The OP seems to be aware of the risks of an HR move anyway.
Still, my opinion is that voting will kill the answer, and discourage others from trying the same answer.
Delete it, and someone else will come up with the same solution.
I'm for closing the question, however. "What can I do?" seems to be too wide-open for our format, and invites such answers.
Ok, I see that it is now closed.
 
Hopefully the question will be edited and clarified. Going to HR isn't necessarily impossible, it's just risky. In my opinion, a good answer would include that, but also directly address the interpersonal aspects; suppose nobody gets fired and going to HR means being fully "out" in this situation...
It's reasonable to assume that someone asking a question on a site dedicated to interpersonal skills is looking for an interpersonal answer.
 
Oh, it's a mine field no matter what he does. It's a shame society is still at the point that "outed" has consequences.
I would think he was looking for an answer in that light as well. And, if he cleans up question, he hopefully will get one that 's helpful.
 
We've also had a bit of a problem with half-assed one liner answers. So... We're kinda trying to discourage the 2-3 sentence unsupported answers.
It's one of the lines we've developed for vlq.
 
Sensible. I guess I missed that somewhere back when.
I was awol for a spell while I rebuilt my computer.
 
I noticed ;)
Glad you're back though.
 
7:02 AM
Me too. Though the install is very much a work in progress, it is operational now.
The status is all my fault anyway. If I wasn't trying to make 5 windows and 20 Linuxes coexist, it might be a bit faster to configure it.
 
Eeek, have fun with that.
 
Oh, I do! That's what I do for fun.
 
Sounds like a Frankenstein monster... I appreciate Linux as an anarchist, but from what I hear it's a bit like driving an old VW, it's not just an operating system, it's a hobby.
 
Having a second box to "play" with would be easier.
 
Like, if you really enjoy being under the hood it's good stuff?
 
7:07 AM
Tends to be a hobby, but not required anymore
If you stick with mainline hardware, and get a regular big-name distribution, it's possible to just use it. Most people don't stay there for long however. Eventually they lift the hood anyway.
 
I can appreciate that. It can be fun to poke around and make it your own.
 
It's the innocent things that get them started. A nice widget to add to the desktop, or a neat way of making it do something automatically. Next thing you know they're playing with shell scripts, and they're lost to civilized company thereafter.
 
Sorta reminds me of how I started with web stuff. I got stuck working with a hateful content management system, so I started digging around under the hood to make it do what I needed it to do.
 
Power is the most potent drug there is.
 
Lies. lolol
 
7:19 AM
Lies are the power to withhold the truth.
Or, create a new "truth"
 
Just bad jokes. Sorry 'bout that
 
The only thing I take serious on the Internet is my upload speed. :)
 
Anywho, I should probably crash before The Dutch wake up.
 
peasant dreams
 
@GypsySpellweaver lol have a good one.
 
7:25 AM
tt4n
 
7:58 AM
@GypsySpellweaver Yeah, that answer doesn't really meet the current requirements
 
 
1 hour later…
9:11 AM
0
Q: How can I find out what surprise my wife wants?

jl6My wife never gives any hints about what she wants for her birthday (even after extensive direct questioning), but is sometimes disappointed that I didn’t get her the right thing. This time, it turns out she wanted me to organise a surprise fun event for us to go to as a family (we have young k...

 
 
3 hours later…
11:56 AM
0
Q: Three equals two!

WGroleauBut four doesn't equal five. Saw "two events" in a rep list and expanded it, to get three events. Bug?

0
Q: Why does one upvote cancel five downvotes?

WGroleauNot that I'm complaining, but if forty people think I posted garbage, and nine think the opposite, my rep increases. That seems a bit unbalanced to me.

 
12:43 PM
@IntrovertedMetaMan. That's a good question. I can find a lot of discussion on meta about people wanting to either take away the penalty for downvoters or increasing the reputation penalty of a downvote, but I can't find a reasoning explaining why they picked -2 for a downvote and +10 for an upvote...
 
A J
1:12 PM
@Tinkeringbell I am done answering with the post you might be looking for.
 
@AJ Seems I misunderstood downvoting then
 
 
1 hour later…
2:32 PM
interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/10955/… really isn't helping the question?
At least it doesn't read like an interpersonal skills problem anymore, but like a post to campaign online to raise awareness for her views ...
 
3:29 PM
@Tinkeringbell agreed. I have voted to remain closed.
 
3:53 PM
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Q: Locking up around workmen

FreeElkWe're currently having some work done in the back garden and whilst I don't have any particular reason to distrust them I do feel a little uncomfortable around the workmen. The other day I was just popping round to the shop and went out to inform them I'd be out so the house would be locked up (t...

 
4:31 PM
\o/ I managed to pick up a coin off the ground without taking either foot off the pedals
 
@Mithrandir How badly scraped are your knuckles now? :P
 
They're not ;)
I did flip over the handlebars once though. Scraped up my wrist a bit.
...the flip was unrelated to the coin.
 
@Mithrandir ... sounds nasty
 
But I got a prize for picking up the coin :P
 
@ExtrovertedMainMan Long answer short: Just lock the door before announcing you'll be gone.
@Mithrandir Nice, you got to keep the coin? Or what was the prize :)
 
4:38 PM
@Tinkeringbell well, the coin was my own
I got an energy gel thing? I'm not sure what to do with it :P
 
@Mithrandir Ah okay :) (Sorry, dinner now)
 
1
Q: How to deal with someone who is yelling in order to give the impression that they are right?

cluelessI have met people that use this pattern as a way to end a conversation as 'winners' when they have an argument with another person in front of others: they just yell their opinion at the one they are arguing with AND/OR interrupt the other person when it's his/her turn to speak. Dealing with such...

 
NVZ
5:18 PM
@ExtrovertedMainMan There's no winning against a person yelling.
 
If they're yelling, you've already won.
 
NVZ
I suppose so..
 
5:40 PM
@Mithrandir Depends on your definition of winning. Also, I don't see anything suggesting the OP wants to win, they just don't want to have their name pulled through the mud without doing anything to avert it.. It sounds abusive though
 
If someone starts yelling you calmly state that their behavior is unacceptable and you refuse to continue to engage with them until they are talking in a more reasonable tone.
 
@sphennings "I'm not going to stand here listen to you yell at me" works for toddlers and adults behaving like one ;)
 
pretty much.
 
0
Q: How to deal with racism in shops and restaurants?

GalastelI'm Israeli. I travel to Europe two or three times a year, mostly the UK. I generally try to be polite and pleasant around people, so very often a smiling waitress in a café or an assistant in a shop would ask me where I'm from. It's a safe question, right? Like the weather. And then I say I'm f...

 
5:56 PM
@ExtrovertedMainMan without a specific situation it's still too broad.
 
6:27 PM
0
Q: Checking with a collaborator

aparente001I contacted someone from an advocacy organization. I explained that my son's school hasn't understood one of his symptoms and asked if she could send me some suggested text to put into his IEP (Individual Education Program -- used for special education at school) that explains this symptom and h...

 
7:04 PM
How is this about interpersonal skills? This seems to be more about whether you should edit documents given to you before giving them to your school. We also don't answer questions asking what do I do? — sphennings 25 secs ago
#10985 sphennings (3235 rep) | Q: Checking with a collaborator (score: 0) | posted 41 minutes ago by aparente001 (1782 rep)
Matched regex(es) ["you\\W(really)?(need\\Wto|should)"]
 
7:22 PM
0
Q: How to Politely Decline Painting Requests from Co-workers

user12671I paint to relax. During office lunchbreak, I paint in my cubicle. Now, I wish to be more outgoing and was advised to paint in office mess during lunchbreak. Lot of people admire my artwork. One person asked if I can paint portrait of his son, and not knowing what to say, I agreed. Luckily t...

 
7:36 PM
@GypsySpellweaver :)
long time, where you been?
 
@D.Hutchinson Hither and yon
 
nice :)
 
I've been to London to visit the Queen. I frightened a mouse under her chair/
 
nice :)
we have tons of rats here in the East Village ...
 
8:06 PM
(deleted post): interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/10970/1599 Was I too unfair commenting here?
 
8:29 PM
@Tinkeringbell Nope.
 
8:47 PM
-1
Q: How to stop someone in a wheelchair from calling in paramedics every time they fall over?

PiomicronSomeone I know quite closely quite enjoys the attention of paramedics. She is an amputee, is currently unemployed, and is very attention-centric. Every time she has a minor accident, she calls over paramedics. What can we do to stop her doing this?

 
JAD
9:22 PM
hmm
talkative comments are starting to evolve
people have learnt to tack some question on the end of their commentary to make it sound like asking for clarification :/
 
Already flagged it.
 
 
2 hours later…
11:05 PM
0
Q: Facebook Tagging

AwkwardMathematicianApologies in advance if this question is obvious/ doesn't fit criteria here. Background: I am an undergraduate at a University in the UK. For personal reasons I haven't had any friends for the past four years, or social media (which is why I need to ask questions like this). I have known a gi...

 
11:21 PM
0
Q: Why do I feel the urge to flirt?

Mr. TomBackground: I'm a guy in my late twenties and I have a fiancee that I have been together with for almost 9 years. We've traveled a lot together, grew up together and learnt a lot about one another during that time (our upbringing was totally different, I had a semi-hard childhood while she has al...

 

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