The Awkward Silence

apaul34208

00:41

This post seems hyperbolic to the point that I'm not sure if it's a troll post: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/4504/… can someone else take a look?

Yvette Colomb

03:07

@apaul34208 I don't think so. I think the OP is terrified from her past experiences and news reports she hears of random attacks.

Yvette Colomb

03:28

@apaul34208 I've left an answer and critical feedback under yours. You are not accounting for how the Op is feeling, in fact you fail to empathise with the OP. I don't think the answer is helpful at all for someone so stressed and nervous

I think if you are in doubt about a post to a point that you think it may be a troll, it would be better not to answer it, as you're coming from a place of negative assumption -ironic as that is what you say the OP is doing in your answer :D

Yvette Colomb

04:16

@apaul34208 I have to say, you've handled my blunt feedback well :D Thanks for being so ... decent

meh I can't find the right word

apaul34208

@YvetteColomb "decent" works.

If I remember correctly I think I answered before the bit about the acid attacks was added. That was the part that seemed a little overboard.

apaul34208

04:47

@YvetteColomb not sure if it matters, but the user who posted this question also had an odd one on the Workplace. workplace.stackexchange.com/a/99557/13611 probably not trolling, but it seems like something of a pattern of unnecessarily vilifying people she has conflicts with.

Yvette Colomb

12:36

Can people just stop being so judgemental of people interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/4504/…

it's no way to welcome a new user to the site.

@HDE226868 @Catija @JohnP ^^

Tycho's Nose

The OP said they are scared of saying no to the newspaper vendor not because that vendor did something to them but because someone else got aggressive when they said no? OP never indicated that person did something to them but they feel uncomfortable because he looks like a criminal.

Yvette Colomb

Also - something I am too tired to check on in meta - is answering a question with - "you need professional help" really an answer?

Tycho's Nose

well, it was a little tactless to start an answer like that but we might suggest that to some people at some point in an answer.

Yvette Colomb

@Tycho'sNose so? The Op has a lot of issues, fear and nervousness around men. Does that mean we should chastise that person and make her feel unwelcome for opening up to us? She freely acknowledges she has issues and mentions why. She says she's scared and has been playing a pretence. It needs to be addressed with logic and compassion. It does not require superficial judgements of a person

@Tycho'sNose the bulk of the answer is a negative analysis of the question and the OP.

Tycho's Nose

I agree with you. That's why I'm saying starting an answer like that was tactless

Yvette Colomb

12:47

it's not designed to help the OP, but pick apart the question. The fact it's upvoted makes me unhappy with what the community thinks we should be posting as answers

@Tycho'sNose yeh - please don't take this personally. I'm addressing you, but really I am taking the opportunity to make my argument here - for the record in chat.

Tycho's Nose

I think they just wanted to point out some of the contradictions in the OP's question

Tinkeringbell

@YvetteColomb, I've posted 2 questions. One was about dealing with a dangerous person while commuting, the other about dismissing street vendors. This question almost reads like somebody tried to combine the two.

That aside, I don't think there is anything wrong with saying 'get professional help'. It was one of the most stated things on my first question, the professional help here referring to getting the authorities involved.

I don't think MariLouA is wrong in pointing out that the question, as it is written by the OP, makes a lot of her fears seem irrational, and something that might …

Tycho's Nose

OP made judgments that vendor looks like a criminal, might be dangerous, and also made judgment about other people who talk to him, calling them stupid.

Yvette Colomb

yep. I understand what people are saying. MariLou and all else. But the whole point is being missed. This site is about Interpersonal Skills. A person comes here looking for help. To make overtly negative comments about that person does nothing to help that person. Neither does an analysis of the person, if it is not done with compassion. It's the intention and attitude behind a post or comment that is key here. If you don't like an OP- don't answer. Vote on it. ...

.. Because it's hard to help someone you don't like.

@Tycho'sNose yeh - so doing that to the OP makes it right?

I have to go. I will get into a heated argument.

Tycho's Nose

no, not saying it was right

just trying to understand both sides

2

Yvette Colomb

12:55

So I'll leave it with community.

Tinkeringbell

@YvetteColomb Take your time. I think it's good to make a meta about it if you're up to it?

Yvette Colomb

@Tinkeringbell I'm exhausted to be honest. My son is still in hospital. I know my limits. You can write a meta on it if you like. If I get some reserves I will.

@Tycho'sNose I do know that.

ok night \0

Tinkeringbell

@YvetteColomb Oh boy, that sounds bad! Sleep tight :)

And a lot of well wishes for your son :)

Tycho's Nose

@YvetteColomb hope he feels better, I'm sorry :(

Yvette Colomb

@Tinkeringbell yep. it's stressful being a parent. and Thanks :)

@Tycho'sNose thanks :) it's a long term problem

Tinkeringbell

13:01

I've left a vtc for unclear what you're asking, see my comment and all the questions I still have about this question.

Tinkeringbell

13:26

@Tycho'sNose good answer :)

Catija

13:52

@YvetteColomb If you have a concern, bring it up on meta or flag. This really isn't what we should be using chat for. The discussion here won't help the majority of the site.

Yvette Colomb

14:07

This site is just too hard.

Jarko Dubbeldam

hard or harsh?

Yvette Colomb

14:18

@JarkoDubbeldam both actually. I'm going now

Extroverted Main Man

15:00

0

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You know the type. One who lectures everyone, disapproves of questions if they don't fit in his (very narrow) definition of the subject discussed, be it history, YA novels, cinematography, cartoons or anything else, really. Let's call him Malvolio. To give one example, Malvolio considers any cri...

Henry WH Hack v2.1

16:29

I am working on the HWHH's NAAFS. I am planning on adding the main site.

Really it's called the HWHH's SEFS.

HWHH's SEFS = HenryWHHack's Stack Exchange Flagging System.
HWHH's NAAFS = HenryWHHack's Not An Answer Flagging System.

@HenryWHHackv2.1 status-review

Extroverted Main Man

16:53

0

Q: How to ask for backlinks on a Post free ads website?

I want to get a backlink from a Post free ads website for my Islamic religious site Prayer Times NYC. What would be the best way to as for a Free Classifieds ads linking back to my website?

united-states united-kingdom socializing professionalism religion

Henry WH Hack v2.1

sd k :D

Tycho's Nose

?

Henry WH Hack v2.1

It's a marker for Smoke Detector to confirm a spam.

Ask Mithrandir for more details.

Bye.

BTW Notice the :D

Tycho's Nose

oh

bye

Extroverted Main Man

17:25

0

Q: How to tell someone that discussions about politics and economics become triggers for me

I have rather strong political convictions. I have a friend at work who has an opposite conviction in many areas and who pushes toward discussion. While I believe that reasonable and rational people can disagree on those topics, the problem is that they don't know very much about economics whil...

friends work-environment mental-health politics

Tinkeringbell

18:15

@NVZ / @Catija if you're there, I made a meta. Let me know what you think? interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/1772/…

Was it a good thing to make a meta about?

Catija

Sure.

Tinkeringbell

Thanks :) That means I can express the hope that I'm getting the hang of this :)

It seems that @Hamlet was a little quicker though :)

Catija

They are asking different questions, though.

Introverted Meta Man.

0

Q: How should we answer this question about a person selling newspapers on a subway station

Recently, someone asked the question How do I get a person selling newspapers at a subway station to stop approaching me?. The question is about someone who feels uncomfortable giving someone a high-five at a subway station: So for a year I reluctantly gave high-fives and acted like I was hap...

discussion specific-question

NVZ

@Tinkeringbell Okay. :)

Tinkeringbell

18:20

@Catija I see. I'm writing an answer to Hamlet's one right now :)

NVZ

I'm trying to make sense of what happened here.

this to me looked like spam. interpersonal.stackexchange.com/q/4522/345

@Tinkeringbell you didn't mention who posted those comments, but left Tycho's Nose in there.

Tinkeringbell

Ah, I can edit that :)

NVZ

and mentioned English Student as well.

Tinkeringbell

Anonymise it completely? Or include the names in the comments?

What would you recommend?

NVZ

If the usernames are irrelevant to the discussion, perhaps, removing them all would be better.

Tinkeringbell

18:26

On it :)

Catija

There's no reason to not link to the comments and the actual posts.

NVZ

That is an option as well. Full attribution.

I don't think these users will mind highlighting them here. ;) I hope.

Catija

As is, because of how the quote boxes work, they look like all one comment by one person with paragraph breaks - this is somewhat confusing?

NVZ

yes, confusing.

perhaps add a <//> between quotes in a single line..

that is..
`>quote1`

`<//>`

`>quote2`

i think that worked.

please review my edit.

Catija

Seems good.

Tinkeringbell

18:31

You forgot one ;) I did the last one.

It does look better now :)

Thank you!

NVZ

@Tinkeringbell you complete me. lol

Tinkeringbell

You're welcome :D

NVZ

18:45

where did everybody go?

Mithrandir

We all moved to Pluto; did you miss the memo?

Catija

Maybe everyone's writing meta answers /daydream.

Mithrandir

@NVZ personally I use <--> but whatever

Tinkeringbell

I'm writing a meta answer, and whatsapping three person's about a party I'm having Friday. I'm ordering the alcohol online :-P

NVZ

@Catija Not everybody knows how to write meta like you do. I'm here waiting to read yours :) Assuming you are writing one now. :)

Henry WH Hack v2.1

18:49

.

Catija

@NVZ I can't write all the meta answers.

Introverted Meta Man.

3

Q: Should we close questions where underlying assumptions are not supported by evidence?

Recently, I have seen 2 questions here where the underlying assumptions made the question hard to answer. In both cases, there is no reason given for the assumption(s) that was/were made in the question. The first one was closed, the second is still open. How can I be safe around drunk people? ...

discussion

NVZ

@Catija I try to help, don't I? :)

@Tinkeringbell okay, can I join in?

the party..

Catija

@NVZ No, actually... I'm still cogitating. Trying to see what the rest of the site thinks. I don't like writing all the answers because I worry that people will just "respect the diamond" and go along with what I say... that's not really how SE works and there are enough people already hinting that I'm too active on meta or that they're waiting for the mods to do all the work... so I'm not really sure how to respond when I'm getting two different things from different people.

2

NVZ

@IntrovertedMetaMan. no, meta man, you have no power over here.

Tinkeringbell

18:52

@NVZ Sure. Just be at Eindhoven Airport on the 29th of september, before 1 o'clock

We'll pick you up :P

@Catija Get a nice little fake account without a diamond?

NVZ

@Tinkeringbell LOL. Fake or not, that is to specific. :)

Catija

I've been discouraged from using a sock...

NVZ

Socks are nice. They're comfy in winter.

Tycho's Nose

@Tinkeringbell It's a good question. I'm glad you asked it.

NVZ

@Catija To write, or not to write meta - that is the conundrum, eh?

Tinkeringbell

18:55

@Tycho'sNose I'm glad to see you participating in it :-)

NVZ

@Tycho'sNose aren't we all? you don't get to be glad all by yourself. :P

Tycho's Nose

@NVZ good to know :)

NVZ

I'm glad that you all are glad for whatever reasons you all are glad for.

Tinkeringbell

Hey... I made a comment to the creepy-street-vendor-question linking OP to 2 questions I asked (1 about dismissing street vendors, the other about dealing with dangerous persons while commuting), and it was removed. Can anybody give me some feedback, so that I can learn not to do so again?

NVZ

@Tinkeringbell not sure I understand you. -- that's a long sentence.

okay, there was a parenthesis. Now I see. Oops.

Catija

19:01

@Tinkeringbell Robert. I'm guessing it was an "answer as comment" deletion.

Tycho's Nose

The links were useful.

Tinkeringbell

Ah okay :-) That makes sense (sort-of). I thought it was too little to put in an answer, but fine.

We all get that sometimes I believe ;)

NVZ

@Tinkeringbell I just read that comment. It was there a few seconds ago, right?

Or am I seeing dead comments?

Tinkeringbell

It might be. I have no idea when it got deleted, but yes, very recently.

Henry WH Hack v2.1

@Tinkeringbell It happened to me once.

Tinkeringbell

19:03

It was still there when I was writing my meta :)

NVZ

@HenryWHHackv2.1 what happened to you once?

Henry WH Hack v2.1

I posted something in a comment and it got removed.

NVZ

@HenryWHHackv2.1 lol. happens to all.

Henry WH Hack v2.1

On A51.SE's Meta

NVZ

there's a "once" for everything on stack exchange for all.

Henry WH Hack v2.1

19:05

(semi-removed)

NVZ

Ugh, bummer. Why remove it? I had a witty one-liner in the works.

Henry WH Hack v2.1

I use the word mod to much.

I am a modatic a mixture of the word moderator and fanatic. :D

BTW You can just look at the old revision of the message.

NVZ

I know. lol

Henry WH Hack v2.1

19:23

Question idea: How do I convince someone to use better passwords security? (I get question ideas now and then but I don't ask them.)

I have been wondering about that question for a week now.

Is this even interpersonal?

NVZ

19:36

@HenryWHHackv2.1 probably asked multiple times on security.SE.

6

Q: How do I convince others of the importance of password management?

I just got married, and my wife and I are in the midst of combining finances, etc. We set up a joint bank account and the first thing I do during the account setup phase is generate a 16-character password with LastPass. No, don't do that! How can I access it if you use LastPass? Just make i...

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Henry WH Hack v2.1

Ahhh

NVZ

but worth a shot here, I think.

not sure how IPSy that is though.

better one?

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Q: Convince people not to share their password with trusted others

IT workers are usually trusted by their family members who readily share passwords (Facebook, email, twitter, you-name-it!) so they can get easy help to set what-ever-parameter they don't find or explanation of a challenging situation. I always try to convince and explain why this is a bad pract...

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Henry WH Hack v2.1

I notice some questions here are: How do I convince x to do y?

NVZ

14

Q: How to convince your boss about importance of IT security

Do you know how could I make my security complaints/advices more effective? Or How could I convince my boss about IT security? There are a couple of known good practices in the field of IT security. My boss seems oblivious to all of them. Now I am working in a medical platform with real data ab...

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Henry WH Hack v2.1

@NVZ I don't share my passwords with anyone.

NVZ

19:39

@HenryWHHackv2.1 like i said, worth a shot. feel free to ask. :)

50

Q: What is the best way to inspire users to choose strong password?

Most of the users use weak passwords. They may use weak passwords even for services where they store sensitive information. I think it's because they don't believe that their password may be guessed/brute forced. But they may be furious if it happens. To avoid this furiosity we are going to build...

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all these have different approaches, so an IPS approach might be different.

have you fleshed out your question yet?

Henry WH Hack v2.1

Usually it all comes down to:

Why will someone hack me?

X > Y That password is bad use a better one.
Y > X Why will someone want to hack me/I don't have anything to hide.
X > Y .

NVZ

@Catija et voila!

took me about 40 minutes of waiting. :) worth it.

Catija

@NVZ :D I had some thinking to do.

NVZ

19:55

I wish to write detailed answers. But can't. My words fail me. Or my thoughts don't translate well into English.

Jarko Dubbeldam

20:36

hmm, usually when I have an opinion on things, I have a bunch of random thoughts that fail to translate to a coherent argument when trying to write it down

exactly as I had when writing that ^

Tinkeringbell

Has anybody here ever turned an old laptop lcd into a backlight?

Henry WH Hack v2.1

maybe

Tinkeringbell

I've found this youtube tutorial, but it's for 4 screens. I was wondering if I should use different materials if I'm only going for one? youtube.com/watch?v=Y2KK4YiOO1o

I'm planning on using it as a backlight for calligraphy/drawing

So I won't need 4

Extroverted Main Man

22:15

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With these excellent questions (one, the other), I now wonder whether it is rude to ask someone where he/she is from in his/her own country (i.e. hometown). I often ask it, and at least in my experience no one seemed to look unpleasant at all. This would be definitely not so rude as the two case...

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Extroverted Main Man

22:48

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Q: Looking for an app related to earthquakes

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