21:49
@Axelrod can come here
So
the thingie
Yeah. I was suspended because of people being dumb.
For like
an hour?
Yeah.
I see
Wad backed the flag without reading the context.
So he's dead to me.
21:56
bleh
Ok thats all i need to know
thcx
Yeah.
%%xkcd 10
Aw it doesn't work
He's not here.
Do it on the other room.
The bots are modified users, so they have to be present.
Context is the important thing, and as per most of our flags these days context is what was left out.
@Axelrod I don't think Wad is the main problem here.
@Randal'Thor I don't either.
I feel betrayed by him for his lack of reading before flagging, though.
And so the aforementioned deadness remains.
That Mike decided to kick me while I was down only reaffirms my feelings for him.
And that Catija decided to call her "do you think that's right?" comment a warning while ignoring the whole discussion up to that point puts her right on that list with them.
22:02
Your messages could only have been considered OK if one not only considered them in context, but also happened to know steeler and that she wouldn't be offended.
Which would be everyone in the room. If I just said "Your mom's a MILF" the flags would have come quicker.
Imagine how they would look to someone who's not part of the Mos in-crowd, and doesn't know you or steeler.
@Randal'Thor Yeah, terrible. So why was my flag verified by people who should have known better, and why only mine when we had a 4 man discussion on it?
You said "Ok, then, you're a MILF." and "Your mother is a mature woman and I would love to take her in a manly fashion." That looks terrible. Sexual comments towards other users are one of the things offensive flags are for.
Why do I have to be the bigger person when the guy who validates it is 10 years older, a far more respected member / arse-kisser, and a room owner because his judgment is sound?
@Randal'Thor That first one is worse than "I'm not sure if you're a milf. The m stands for mother" (paraphrase)?
22:05
@Axelrod I doubt many of the people who validated those flags were people who should have known better.
Is it worse than "I'm a milf" (also paraphrase)?
Remember, flags are shown to everyone across the network.
"Don't reply to things if everyone's having fun, you might be the one person that gets chosen for flags."
@Axelrod Yes, because pretty much any insult is worse when directed against another person than when directed against oneself.
@Randal'Thor Someone in the room has to flag it before everyone else sees it.
22:08
@Axelrod I wasn't actually there at the time ... can you point me to anything inappropriate that anyone else said?
Tell me, since we can't discuss the flaggers, if you think the first should have known better.
@Axelrod Technically, no; you can flag from the transcript.
@Randal'Thor Go to the chat where my deleted comments are. Look at the discussion preceding it. I don't want anyone flagged. I want people to be adults.
@Randal'Thor So a stalker. Great.
@Axelrod Sure, I don't want to see any flags in Mos. What the flagger should have done was pretty much what Catija did - raise their concern about the inappropriateness of the conversation. Then a mod or RO could have got rid of the offending posts.
@Randal'Thor She didn't raise concerns about the conversation. She raised concerns about my post. Again, because she didn't read anything else.
22:11
But what you said did look pretty offensive (even if steeler herself wasn't offended), and your response to Catija suggested you weren't going to apologise and drop it, so I can see why whoever-it-was flagged.
@Randal'Thor My response was essentially "that's the conversation. Let's move on."
in Mos Eisley, 3 hours ago, by Catija
@Axelrod Do we really think it's appropriate to refer to the users in here as MILFs?
in Mos Eisley, 3 hours ago, by Axelrod
@Catija If the shoe fits and the discussion topic was whether or not the shoe fit, then I suggest we say the shoe fits and move on.
Found it.
That's the discussion. Move on.
I think Catija had only just entered the room at that point?
So she wasn't aware of the preceding conversation.
There's an easy way to get aware of things.
It doesn't involve gloating over flags.
22:15
Look, even with context, I don't think what you said was appropriate.
And I understand that my bias may be to call it gloating when it wasn't.
I don't think the entire conversation was appropriate.
I do think targeting me alone was an asshole-level thing to do.
It's one thing for someone to use inappropriate terms on themselves, but it's quite different for someone to use them on another person.
And moreover I think people should use judgment as adults when we expect them to act like adults.
1: I'm a X
2: You're not a X because it means Y.
3: It also means Z, though. So you're a X.
4: What?
3: She's an X.
Let's strip away the acronyms and memes here. Imagine you'd said "I want to fuck you".
To steeler.
@Randal'Thor I did strip away the acronym. And I did state it without words that would get me flagged.
Remove our curses, I'm sure there's some asshole watching the transcript.
22:19
@Axelrod It's not just words that get you flagged; it's intent.
Spelling it out because I specifically thought MannlyMann didn't understand what the acronym was.
Whether you say "I want to fuck you" or "IWTFY" ... both are just as inappropriate.
@Randal'Thor We've already established that intent is unreadable to anyone not paying attention.
My intent was to clarify to Mannly what we were talking about.
@Axelrod Then why continue it? :-)
I didn't want to use the acronym.
22:20
@Axelrod I don't think anyone else said anything quite as inappropriate as what you said, but let me check the transcript again.
@Randal'Thor Because we have inappropriate conversations all the time. Again, we are expected to act like adults.
It seems like saying what it was made it easier to misinterpret, but there's still the "the first flagger was the one who should have known what we were talking about" issue.
OK, I just checked through the transcript. Hold still a moment and I'll quote all the MILF stuff in here, so we're on the same page.
in Mos Eisley, 3 hours ago, by steelershark
@MannlyMann Are you saying that you're embarrassed to be seen with your internet mother, young man? ;)
in Mos Eisley, 3 hours ago, by Himarm
shes old fangled
in Mos Eisley, 3 hours ago, by steelershark
@Himarm I prefer the old 90's term of MILF :P
in Mos Eisley, 3 hours ago, by Skooba
@steelershark but cant really be a milf
in Mos Eisley, 3 hours ago, by steelershark
@Skooba Oh, you have to actually give birth to get that title? Dammit! ;)
in Mos Eisley, 3 hours ago, by Axelrod
@steelershark I've understood it's also "Mature" ILF.
in Mos Eisley, 3 hours ago, by steelershark
@Axelrod Ahhhh...better!
in Mos Eisley, 3 hours ago, by Axelrod
@steelershark Applicable?
in Mos Eisley, 3 hours ago, by steelershark
@Axelrod Yes, I am mature :P
Then you called her a MILF.
Nobody else had said anything anywhere near that inappropriate.
First flag there, right?
in Mos Eisley, 3 hours ago, by steelershark

@Himarm I prefer the old 90's term of MILF :P



in Mos Eisley, 3 hours ago, by Skooba

@steelershark but cant really be a milf
You were the only person who called another person an inappropriate name.
That's why you were the only one who got flagged.
If you're going by a "they don't know context" point of view, sure.
But again, the first person knew.
So unless it was Catija, I reiterate my feelings regarding the system in place.
If it was her, then I defer to previous comments involving horses that people rode in on.
Because I expect people to read before they do things.
Shock.
22:30
@Axelrod It definitely wasn't Catija, since she's a mod in chat.
@Randal'Thor I retain my disdain at <brick in the wall> levels.
You got the full 6 flags on the "take her in a manly fashion" post, and 5 on the other one.
If a mod had flagged you, it'd just be 1 flag, suspended, boom.
@Randal'Thor That's what I figured.
But due to site dissonance, I wasn't sure if that applied across the boards.
@Axelrod People aren't necessarily following the whole conversation all the time.
Someone might have been AFK, came back and saw someone calling steeler a MILF, and went "WTF".
Remember, you don't know who it was. (Even I don't know who it was.) It could be someone who doesn't know you or steeler.
Even in context, it looks bad.
I'm not sure if you get that.
@Randal'Thor I understood that it was a bad discussion, but in context I don't see how it was a bad statement.
Nor will I see it anytime soon. I refuse to see it because my judgment is clouded with anger. Because that's what happens when people who didn't read a damn word judge you, sentence you, and put you in suspension.
The kicking after the fact was just icing on the cake.
22:42
@Axelrod The only context that could mitigate it was the combination of this message from steeler, this message from Himarm, and the knowledge of who this message was referring to.
So that's what I have to say about all that. Clean this chit up, I'm done with it.
Unless someone happened to be following that particular thread of conversation very closely, they might not even have seen all those posts, widely spaced out as they were with loads of other crap in between.
@Axelrod OK, well, maybe we can come back to this when you've calmed down and lost some of that anger :-)
@Randal'Thor Right. My expectations are too high for a group of friends.
@Axelrod You're assuming everyone who's chatting, lurking, or in the transcript of Mos is your friend.
@Randal'Thor Please no. I don't want to tell anyone to go away in an angry manner. I just want to talk about SFF.
@Randal'Thor Well we already know the last one is false.
At least they don't sit there in person anymore.
22:45
@Axelrod Shall we forget the whole issue then?
@Randal'Thor Sure.
You know who you are! Go to hell!
The effect of the flags have worn off; can you drop your grudges against everyone involved as well?
(You're deleting all this, right?)
@Axelrod I can freeze the room when we're done. I'm not going to bother deleting individual messages.
@Randal'Thor Never. Respect starts at a high number and is negatively affected by actions. It takes good actions and time to bring it back up.
@Randal'Thor We cursed and the room is searchable.
Would hate to come back and see I'd been suspended 2 hours, when I return three days later.
22:48
@Axelrod You made an inappropriate sexual remark towards another user. Surely you're the person who needs to regain respect, not the mod and RO who tried to do their duty by keeping things clean?
Or hell, maybe it'd just be used to say "even though he didn't break the rules, we're going to use this to essentially suspend him for years".
@Randal'Thor Signing onto a flag when you didn't read the context isn't doing that duty.
Reading, judging, and then signing would be.
My only crime is continuing a discussion and not considering that other people were around. Except I did, thus why I sugared it to not be as offensive.
Yes, the woman you were talking to wasn't offended. But at the time the flags were raised, nobody knew that.
I'm done with it.
@Axelrod It looked very bad even in context. That's what I've been trying to tell you :-)
@Randal'Thor I can't think from the viewpoint of someone who would be there but not be in on our local nicknames and such.
And that's the only point from which I could see it being offensive. To literally take it as an attack, which it was not.
While simultaneously being in there the whole discussion.
For the sixth time, I'm done with the discussion. Unless your goal is to make me leave Mos in full, I just want to stop talking about it all.
(I say this because I know that's not your goal).
But I really am not highly attached anymore. This whole ordeal has brought back unpleasantness from earlier things. I just want to talk about SFF and random stuff, but now I can't even talk about random stuff.
22:55
@Axelrod My goal is to make you understand why your message was seen as inappropriate - not so you can grovel or anything, just so we're all on the same page and no grudges are being held. But OK, let's drop it then :-)
As Steeler said, "It's not fun in here anymore"
@Axelrod Nobody said you can't talk about random stuff.
@Randal'Thor This random stuff got me suspended.
Talking about random stuff =/= making sexual remarks against other users.
@Axelrod Only for an hour. It's not like you got banned for a month or anything.
In a few days, I hope, this will all be forgotten.
30 minute bans turn into 12 hour bans. 1 hour bans turn into 9 month bans. Getting back from a ban and being nitpicky gets you banned for years.
There is no clear cut line, except what people above you want to do in our specific case.
22:57
@Axelrod You've been arguing the toss in here for a good long while, and nobody's banned you again.
@Axelrod True.
If there was a clear-cut line, all the trolls would be crowding right up along the edge of it.
@Randal'Thor Arbitrary justice.
Hell, if there was a clear-cut line, we wouldn't need mods - the whole system could be automated.
@Randal'Thor Beats all the non-trolls getting banned. We still have a flag vote system. And it's there for when the statements are honestly just terrible.
"Human exception handlers" and all that.
@Randal'Thor Hey now, our rooms still need frozen and spelling errors fixed after 2 minutes, you know. ;)
For the record, I hold none of this against you. You've shot up in my estimation a ton these past months.
I wish I'd voted for you over that Null guy. Baker still gets a pass.
23:01
@Axelrod Hey, what's wrong with Null?
@Randal'Thor Guy is of zero value.
Ba dum tiss
Ha!
You don't have to answer that seriously.
Just a comparative. I like him, but he has zero presence during my normal hours.
Baker is still hammering away at Q&A
I can't judge you guys based on your good mod actions. Those are invisible.
@Axelrod Well, not everyone is into chat.
@Randal'Thor Being a people person is kind of a major part of being a people shepherd.
Even if you just have to grin and bear it.
23:03
No interactions may not be a positive thing, but it isn't a negative thing either.
No positive interactions. You have to remember, everyone leaves the room when blues come in.
You storm crows, you.
Anyway, I need to run. Take care, we'll talk another day.
Anyway, if you want something to take away from all this: please don't feel you can't talk about random off-topic stuff in Mos any more, but please do refrain from making inappropriate remarks about other users.
@Axelrod OK. Want me to freeze this room?
"bleh"
@Randal'Thor Full on wipe please. Wad jumped in, and I'd rather this not be a focal point for him to be angry on later.
We're alike in disturbing ways, different in most.
@Axelrod I can delete the room instead of freezing it, but I think the transcript will still be visible.
@Randal'Thor Balls.
Do what's best, then.
Take care, have a good weekend.
23:07
You too!
By Monday, I'm sure this will all be forgotten.
23:32
Rand al'Thor has frozen this room.