also, back to dostoyevski, and you, liberal bourgeois child of russia (1% among 99% of an enslaved poor population) you're in russia so you're about to get the 1905 revolution in a few, these idiotic pathetic masses of human skin keep running against the imperial guard to get mowed down, shoulda never emancipated them
insatisfaction brewing, a feeling of change in the air, certainly the Church and God aren't doing their jobs
or maybe God himself wants this? would someone please clarify
you wonder, well ok pause
these are all smart people, i guess, running governments, factories, thinking about the fate of the world
why is there no damn clear winner in all of this
why can't you just trust someone to do their god damn job and run europe
what the hell are you supposed to do, when all social institutions seem at most transitorily stable and clearly bound to fail and fall
you used to look to europe to give russia an idea of what it could be, but it's been a couple of years now where it's barely less of a shithole than russia
who knows what would happen if daddy bismarck wasn't there fixing everything (spoiler alert: ww1)
also, the great Motherland russia just lost the crimean war
can't really trust your own government to protect itself from exterior threats. blink of an eye, and we could be talking about German Russia? or British Rus? god, such anxiety
lads, why is this all happening? what am I to do? who do I follow?
it feels like whatever i do, I'll be wrong
so you try consulting with god
but you know, you're having a hard time praying seriously because half the european population thinks your part of a collective delusional paranoia (-freud, in like 10 years from wherever you are now)
and you know there are some pretty smart lads in that population
btw we're starting to have social thinkers like Marx and Auguste Comte with his silly social physics, saying we're the products of our environment or whatever
you thought, you silly russian liberal bourgeois of the 1880s
that everyone's own faith and future is in their own hands (or if your parents went to church, in god's)
and so you succumb to despair because you don't know what to do, or how to be responsible for your actions in a world that's becoming so complex, ambiguous, difficult to naviagte, stealing the remnants of your ability to even be responsible for your own acts, and stealing the ultimate repository of stability and peace that was god, a source of tranquility immune to war and politics
so, what do you do, to find a footing in this world?
the end of a short intro to dostoyevski