last day (14 days later) » 

02:29
First, I've read the convo. Obviously, that's shocking and (pardon if I don't use the perfect exact word) quite defamatory. I don't know if you are still thinking all these things but anyway, I think there's some points to clarify
DA.
DA.
What conversation are you referring to?
First, I have no issue with big design firms or whatever you think about this. And even if I did, it wouldn't matter! Same as if you would despise cheap stuff or whatever this is called
Your extra long convo with you and scott using the public inkspot as your personal facebook
DA.
DA.
also, before you exert too much energy on this, I have no serious beef with you. I disagree with some of your posts. That is all. That we may disagree on things is OK.
You seem to have some beef actually from what I read
Otherwise you wouldn't have spent so much energy agreeing on all the digusting stuff that were said
DA.
DA.
What did I agree with that you are upset about?
02:32
There's no point in saying "I have no beef" when you said I'm egomaniac, agree on "femalemind games" and etc.
Pretty much everything except the last part when Scott really started to lose it :)
At this point I guess you thought it was maybe going a bit too far
DA.
DA.
Please re-read that entire conversation. I explicitly disagreed with the sexist comments.
It was't, clear, just so you know. Only in the last part as I said had strong disagreement.
DA.
DA.
I agreed with Scott on some things. But not that one in particular.
So anyway, I personally consider it immature and not very brave to do this in the way it was done, especially coming from 2 very experienced users always claiming I'm not speaking to them properly and implying "lot" of people hate me
DA.
DA.
You are free to feel that way. I, on the other hand, consider it immature and not very brave for you to handle it the way you did. But again, that's OK. We don't have to agree.
02:36
You never saw me doing such thing to any of you. And honestly I might have been rude with Scott when he insulted me and called me names, but I don't think we ever had anything but disagreements you and I
What way?
What would you do if you were a new user on a forum and mods ignore your flags, and oldest users mock you publicly and exaggerate greatly what you did?
DA.
DA.
What 'thing' are you referring to?
And yes, to be clear, there is nothing between us other than disagreements on some topics.
I have no reason to hate you at all.
I'm sure you're a very nice person.
DA01... do you do this so frequently that you can't remember? I'm refering to you and Scott, and some mods long discussion on how horrible I am and how I upset pretty much every old users :)
DA.
DA.
Did I call you horrible?
well
DA.
DA.
We did have a long conversation...in the public chat room.
02:39
Can't we just be honest and clear speech?
And stop the "what do you mean, I don,t understand"
come on
DA.
DA.
I'm all for being honest. And trying to be clear, though I think that's one of the challenges we may have. I don't think we're always interpreting each others tone properly.
One of the hazards of online communication.
And when I ask "what do you mean" I do literally, honestly mean that.
Your interpretation of things is obviously much different than mine, hence why I ask for clarification.
I'm trying not to judge you unfairly.
If you find it horrible that I used the word "competent" to mean "expert" or "qualified", I think the tone, allegations, accusations and all the things you've talked about were a few levels higher than that in term of being mean
DA.
DA.
OK, let's focus on that one comment.
Because maybe that will explain the mis-interpretations we both have.
When I explain to you what I meant, I shouldn't have to expand on 20 lines to prove my intentions. You'll need to take it for what it is, really
DA.
DA.
I'll try to clarify how I read that.
I read that as you stating "designers aren't competent".
02:42
I don,t want to talk about this comment. It's irrelevant and a "peanut" in that ocean of bs that was said
DA.
DA.
I think you meant "designers aren't necessarily experts on intellectual property law"
You brought it up.
Well yes that's what I meant and it seems clear I tried to repeat the same exact thing
Why would I say designers are morons? I AM A DESIGNER!
Seriously
DA.
DA.
I said this elsewhere: how about you and I just assume we aren't trying to be mean in our comments and that maybe you and I misinterpret the tone of each other's comments at times
And just to be clear, I'm not the one who brought up first that language barrier thing. I think you or Scott did. But you know, when you speak a second language, the hardest part is to grasp idioms and some nuances. So you truly need to be understanding with this
DA.
DA.
I agree.
02:44
I could complain about all this about you or scott sometimes. You know, like saying I'm rambling and such
DA.
DA.
Sure, I tend to ramble.
Complain away! :)
Anyways, what can I do to make you feel OK?
I feel like you're holding this in too much.
The only reason why you get a bypass on those terms is because 1) no one react and 2) I read it as "she blablabla" because I don't even see that was actually an insult to mock me and belittle me!
DA.
DA.
Which terms?
I am very unhappy about the convo and disappointed that I've been bashed so much, and how you 2 implied a lot of time how I upset so many users
I was refering to terms like rambling
DA.
DA.
I'm sorry if you felt I implied a lot of people were upset with you.
I certainly didn't intend to imply that everyone here is upset with you.
02:47
If I was a native english, I would have mention straigth away "hey wth, that,s not rambling";)
DA.
DA.
Rambling isn't really an insult.
Just means someone is wordy. Or talking a lot.
Going off on a tangent.
well, you know, the definition of a not very intelligent speech isn't super nice
Anyway that was just an example, I'm not saying you said it
DA.
DA.
I think (and this is just my opinion) that you are reading way too much into the comments on this site.
I just wanted to show you that you may feel insulted by how I write sometimes but I could too, and unlike what I get, I really have the excuse of having a limited vocabulary
DA.
DA.
I think (and this is just my opinion) that you are maybe looking for insults when they aren't there.
You have a valid excuse.
02:49
No I'm not reading too much into it. Or we both are then.
DA.
DA.
Like I said, I'll try and avoid reading too much into your posts in terms of tone.
I agree
we probably both oare.
are.
So I'll do my best to not jump to conclusions.
I will, however, likely still comment, but please treat it (as best you can) as just a comment--rather than an insult.
Like you know with that "competent" comment, I thought what shocked you is that I used "a random designer", then I see it's the word "competent". Oh well
DA.
DA.
"Oh well" = perhaps a good way to summarize it. :) I'm sorr this has caused you so much grief.
It's ok if you comment, that's what these fields are made for! And I will too. I just personally don't like long convos that get nowhere and comments that don't really bring any suggestions and may look simply snarky
DA.
DA.
I will admit that I can be snarky.
02:51
What caused me grief is the inkspot convo
DA.
DA.
And snark is hard to interpret. So I get that I may come across as rude at times.
And all the "Yes you're right DA, I see we all agree, oh she's so mean " come on
It,s not very honorable and fair to see the little "alliances" and honestly, because you'reold users, you were just free to do whatever you want, while I can't even say anything without being told I'm rude.
So let's admit that wasn't really fair.
The whole convo on the inkspot should have been private. And well, I can't stop anyone from saying bad things about me, but ideally not trashing me in public
Or if they do, then I,d like to have that freedom as well :D
DA.
DA.
It was a public conversation. You were and are free to join in. It was also a conversation that only came up because you were continually bringing the topic up. So maybe it wasn't fair on our part, but then again, maybe it isn't fair that you keep bringing this up in so many different ways. Sometimes it's best to just let it go.
And just so you are clear, there are no private conversations.
If you start a chat, it's public.
This conversation we're having right now is public.
I know this isn't private either but mods could have opened a room or you could have asked for one
DA.
DA.
Again, it wasn't my topic. You had brought it up in meta.
02:55
None of you handled this well in that manner
DA.
DA.
And then you had brought it up again in side chat rooms.
So, I don't know what to say to that. It's not fair that only one side gets to discuss the issue and not the other.
Yes, you troubled my fun time on inkspot at the moment, I was upset. That's as simple
DA.
DA.
And if you believe none of us handled it well, but you did, then I think we have to just consider that something we strongly disagree on.
and that's OK.
But frankly my "oh he's so annoying" compared to the convo are really nothing.
No I don't think anything was handled well, but I do think you took a lot of freedom because you could
Because you knew no one would tell you a big WTF IS GOING ON
DA.
DA.
I'm no one special here.
02:57
I don't think those things happen on other big Stack. But I don,t know
DA.
DA.
All sites are different. Different users, different norms, different vibes.
Kind of what makes SE interesting.
Different tribles
DA.
DA.
There's only one 'tribe' here.
The group dynamic are different, that's normal
DA.
DA.
We're a pretty small site.
If you participate here, you're part of the tribe.
We don't have enough users to make more than one tribe. :)
03:00
Honestly if you 2 would have been having a chat, and it would have been about another user (and not me), be certain I would have step in and told you all to get a room or to stop.
Because that was a public trial
DA.
DA.
what would you like me to do?
So if the "tribe" does that, I will certainly never be part of that kind of thing
DA.
DA.
What can I do to let you "let this go?"
We've been having this discussion for 2 weeks now. It has to end at some point. Tell me what to do to end it.
Maybe a sorry would already be a good start. It hasn't been 2 weeks. For me it has been a few weeks after I got here and started raising in rep ;)
DA.
DA.
I can say 'sorry'.
But if you've had this issue from the start, then I think--and I don't mean this in a mean way--that maybe the problem isn't us.
03:03
That's not a real sorry but I'll take it anyway. I had the issue with Scott
DA.
DA.
So, I will say "sorry that you may have interpreted a lot of the comments as personal insults".
I can't give you a real sorry, because I really don't know what to be sorry about.
That's just me being honest.
But the teaming is unfair, especially if the flags get refused because too many things were judged acceptable here
DA.
DA.
I'm sorry you feel that people are teaming up against you.
Well if you can't, there's a word for that haha
I would certainly feel ashamed for doing the public convo if I did
DA.
DA.
I have nothing to do with flags, so can't comment on that at all.
03:04
You did team, the proof is the convo!
DA.
DA.
I'm sorry you feel that way.
There's no doubt about it!
DA.
DA.
Please understand, we have very different perspectives on this.
I'm sorry I don't see it the same way as you do.
If it helps, next time you feel slighted by a conversation in inkspot, please join in.
Let us correct any misinterpretation as soon as we can.
Rather than letting things fester.
Do you think anyone would join a public bashing where they're the freaking feast?
DA.
DA.
I don't know how to make this clearer: you and I see this differently.
You see it as a public bashing.
I do not.
03:06
You say that, well then let's go on an overflow or any huge stack and let's go repeat the experience
You simply wouldn't do it because you'd be afraid of the other users
DA.
DA.
So, I've said I'm sorry several times. What else can I do to let you get over this?
Anything else?
It,s quite easy to be brave when you've been in a stack since the begining and can act as what should be considered a leader
DA.
DA.
What else can I do to let you get over this?
It's fine, I don't need to be satisfied with this, I wish it would have simply remained civil instead.
What you can do is well... I can't tell you what to do. Have some empathy for other users even if you are in a position of "power" or strength
I just wanted to have a little chat with you because we haven't talked since that convo thing and I do feel you are still able to understand how I felt with that
DA.
DA.
I do understand how you feel. I maybe don't understand why based on everything that went on, but I do understand you are feeling hurt.
03:10
I don't want to dislike you for personal matters like this. It's too much hassle and it's annoying for both of us!
DA.
DA.
I'm OK if you don't like me. :) We can't all be liked by everyone.
At the end of the day, it's just a web site for design questions.
Well, I'd prefer to dislike you for your "bad" answers or something less personal, that,s what I mean :)
DA.
DA.
fair enough. :)
I don't mean we need to be bff. THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN (joke)
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And by all means, if you think I have a bad answer, call me out on that. That's what this site is for.
03:13
ok good because that might happen, but that's not personal. We do have a different background and none is better
DA.
DA.
agreed!
And really, I don't dislike "big firm". If I made that comment on the olympic logo, I was more trying to get the topic back on that poor $300 logo for the OP. I won,t like to you, and I've posted on this too, I never really liked the threads that ended in super long discussions that become half-unrelated
And I don,t know, I guess I find them ugly.
Maybe it wasn't said in a delicate way, I can admit that
On another forum, I would have probably post "Are you 2 done talking about 1,000,000$ logo? The guy isn't even dreaming of having $300 ffs!"
DA.
DA.
That's all fine. Though note that it was a chat room conversation. This is why comments are moved to chat rooms--so that a discussion can actually take place and not clutter the main page. The idea is if a person isn't interested in the topic, they don't have to join the chat room.
Ok that isn't perfect or might not be better, but maybe a bit funnier
Well, I made that comment before it became a chat
DA.
DA.
Well, then that's my mistake. Apologies for that.
03:18
It's ok, that's what I thought, all the comments were moved and there's no way to know
Ok so I think we're fine, unless you have questions or something. I'm glad we took some time to at least try to fix this
DA.
DA.
Yes, same here. Now, let's get back to fighting about important things like Helvetica v. Arial!
:)
Have a good evening.
haha, well... we won't disagree on this. I'm sure we both go for helvetica ftw
Thanks DA01, that was nice. Have a good evening too

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