When you are the boss of your own porn business. What is the best way to protect yourself if you wish to ignite a sexual and professional relationship with your employee/s off the clock? Can the other workers sue you because they are left out?
@IamSoNotListening wondering what's going on. Trolls getting caught?
@IamSoNotListening I edited that question to change it from "is it rude" to "is it unprofessional" to ask about taking a laptop on vacation. Your answer still fits though
I'm not really a fan of how it's changing, so I'm just going to leave it. I'm sure there's good intentions there, but they don't really align with how I view things.
@Snow Good ;) I really had to learn not to take a beta site too seriously either... It still is the first site ever I became active on on SE and I really should learn how graduated sites work ;) ... That would have been better actually :P
At least for this Stack, we generally are here to help the user first. We do want answers to be useful to all, but helping the OP comes first ( at least to me ).
@Tinkeringbell No. In my opinion a coupe are acting like mini-gods.
And comments can be SUPER useful to the OP, even if they don't DIRECTLY answer the question asked.
Some of the best information I have gotten has been via comments.
@IamSoNotListening The way I choose to deal with IPS types is to follow this priceless advice: "Just ignore those idiots." You should probably give it some consideration too.
@IamSoNotListening I hope we won't need the autocomment after a few times of using it... We now just want to draw some attention from the 1k+ rep users, because it's getting a bit disruptive that there's a load of them answering questions while they should be closed.
@IamSoNotListening Yes, you probably are.... And you were regularly in the chat room and trying to learn and understand how the site worked...
Some aren't, and we're trying to get them to pay some attention...
@IamSoNotListening Sadly, comments on IPS usually only contain opinions and will lead to comment wars... Once the internet has learned not everything needs to be counteracted with a comment of your own, we can leave them around :D
I just answer questions in order to help people. I'm not too concerned whether the question is "high quality" or not. If it fits the stack, and if I have an answer that's appropriate and relevant, I'll answer.
@Tinkeringbell we had a few people in here who thought that there sole purpose in life was to contradict answers and judge the intent of the posters. What that does is poison the well. We raised a bit of a stink with the mods, and they responded. What we were able to show is that the nastiness caused an avalanche of down-votes
@Snow And we'll post the auto comment when the question get's closed. Maybe we should post it on the question instead of the answers though, make it less personal?
@TheSnarkKnight I agree on the argumentative comments, but the comments offering help that doesn't directly answer the question we need to consider leaving alone.
@TheSnarkKnight Exactly what's happening at IPS, and I'm sorry if half-answers in comments are getting deleted as well... We've seen those starting discussion as well. Right now, we're just trying really, really hard to stamp out discussions, because well, IPS is seen as the drain of SE where it's such a nice place to voice your opinion on a situation....
@Tinkeringbell what we've driven home here is that SE is not a forum, it's a Q&A site. Comments are not a place to debate answers, provide your own answers, or disparage the poster.
That's why we need to more closely watch the comments. We actually have a bot running that posts all the new ones into a chatroom. If it works well, we can use that to knock them down faster. We sadly can't prevent them right now, other than showing that we don't tolerate them for longer than 10 minutes...
I really am stuck on that situation too, and I think our mods are as well
Another problem we had, that we had to tamp down on @Tinkeringbell was that people were using the comments to provide answers risk-free. under existing answers. This really annoyed people, because they could start a down-vote avalanche by posting a contrary answer without taking any risk.
@Tinkeringbell it requires a very tough, hands-on approach from the mods, but only for a short period of time. Once this is done for a while, 90% of the problem goes away.
@IamSoNotListening It's a mindset... and I'll gladly admit that some people do have manuals, then it's an IPS skill to provide your opinion in such a way that people take heed ;)
I'm not going to moderate anything. I prefer to stay free
I think work won't even allow it, I have to ask permission for everything I do on the side of my job...
Three step program for fixing IPS: 1) Proactively fix bad questions and make them better. 2) Provide good quality answers (lead by example). 3) Delete comments that detract from good answers or promote bad answers. 4) Quit badgering high rep users and making them leave.
@Tinkeringbell what the mods have done here is have a few private chats with people who have been causing difficulty. Sometimes, it's just as simple as saying. "We don't do that this way, and here's why". Most people respond well, and since SE has a mechanism where this is done privately, there's no show-boating or saving face, just a private conversation.
@IamSoNotListening I'm just tired of being accused of trolling when I am specifically trying to stop trolling of SE, and having my motives questioned.
@TheSnarkKnight At the end of the day, its easier to just answer and comment as you see fit and ignore any responses. As per the advise of the great @MaskedMan
@IamSoNotListening answer, comment AND FLAG I've seen bad comments drive good answers from positive to negative territory, and then see it reverse when the bad comments are deleted.
now, at this point, nothing is going to seriously damage my rep in here to the point where it affects me in any way, so I'm not saying this for my benefit, but for the benefit of the site.
Hm. They're attempting to raise the quality of the stack by stamping on anything that isn't high quality. It's that ying/yang thing of serving the stack or serving the user. They choose stack.
@Snow the place is out of control, so they need to reign it in a bit. Once they get it under control, they can loosen up. I'm more concerned about the cliquishness myself.
@ChrisE wow, that snark got past me for a moment. I must be losing my touch.
I was let go from my last employer due to "poor performance" and in their words "lacking seniority" after working there about 3 months.
After a lot of thinking I've come to the realisation that maybe it was the actual management that was the pitfall and not me:
The initial project I was assign...
I'm getting a bit .... sad? .... there's a lot of people saying 'this isn't right, this is so wrong'.... but no-one has a clue of how to fix it, and if we try something new people start kicking against it immediately :/
Not saying that venting isn't good ;) But I'd really like to focus on solutions and trying stuff a bit more....
@TheTinyMan I think I was naive, but I always assumed it was a self created label - never realized it was intended as a derogatory term. the wiki article made that clear though lol
@Tinkeringbell @Tinkeringbell at this time they do not appear to be open to it. If one of the two people I am irritated with become moderators, which one of them clearly is gunning for IMO, the site will be lost.
something worthwhile to consider is that in most cases, everyone is aiming for the same goal - a useful, healthy site. it's the tactics which differ... but ultimately everyone normally is on the same team
@IamSoNotListening Don't worry too much about that. There won't be another moderator until IPS graduates and often then the pro tempore mods get re-elected from what I know. And I must admit we're nowhere near graduating.
@TheSnarkKnight There are people trying to claim the insult, like black people have (kinda) claimed the N-word or homosexuals have claimed a few words. I don't think that they're quite there yet.
@Tinkeringbell I think a more aggressive application of the "be nice" rule would help, and by that, I don't mean shouting down anyone they think isn't being nice. Tamp down mob rule, so to speak.
@TheTinyMan if you call me deaf, should I be insulted? SJWs used the term on themselves LONG before people started rolling their eyes at them.
@Tinkeringbell I'm not sure how to stop the dogpiling, other than locking the room when it starts.
chat that is
@TheTinyMan all I am saying is that you cannot at the same time proudly proclaim to be something, then get offended when someone refers to you with the same term.
@TheSnarkKnight I agree I might close the room a little sooner sometimes, but then again as long as no-one is being rude/agressive and people are only fiercely debating something, should I lock down the room and like some dictator stomp down on every little form of 'otherness'? It's a difficult decision to make when you have your own opinions ;)
@Tinkeringbell I go back to @Snow 4 step program. 1) Proactively fix bad questions and make them better. 2) Provide good quality answers (lead by example). 3) Delete comments that detract from good answers or promote bad answers. 4) Quit badgering high rep users and making them leave.
@Tinkeringbell I think it's wise to crack down for a bit, you can always loosen up later, but to get control, it's easiest to keep things from escalating for now.
@IamSoNotListening That nr. 4 is a bit difficult though... right now, we need to badger the high-rep users IMO, to get them all on 1 line (even if that means I have to switch lines :/ )
@Tinkeringbell The last one that TSK was involved in was a pretty good example of one that obviously needed to end immediately, though. People seemed to be logging in just to yell at him, and it went on for a decent while. On the other hand, his words read as incredibly disrespectful to me, too, and that needed to be addressed as well.
@TheSnarkKnight I really hate to do that.... I want to be consequent, not as different as the weather > one month every discussion get's shut down, and the next things loosen up :/
@TheTinyMan I know, I admitted I should have closed that down sooner... And I tried by cutting in with a few messages myself, Anne tried and eventually I think Catija succeeded.... :/ But it's a bit difficult for me to make the decision still. I think the only time I did it was because I really wanted to go eat breakfast :/
@TheSnarkKnight Right :) Pro-tip: you perfectly explained here what your eventual goal was (lemme see if I can find that sentence again).... If things don't go as planned, restate your question in other words can cut down a conversation short pretty fast. I used it on real-life people and it works ;)
@TheSnarkKnight So what happened was that your initial comment was (and I'm paraphrasing), "I wish I had so few problems that something like this bothered me," and what people saw from that was, "I wish I had so few problems that one of root causes of sexism seemed important," which is both snarky in a way that is going to come off as very disrespectful to anyone who identifies with the problem in question ...
@TheTinyMan well, to sum up without rehashing it too much. I was simply trying to say that, given what I've been through in this life, I simply couldn't relate to the level of outrage being expressed over someone telling you "smile". Nothing more sinister than that. It was more of a commentary about my own perspective than anything else.
... and to people who are really invested in the struggle, sounds like you're saying "it's not really a problem when people treat women as objects, you're immature if you think it is."
Combo breaker! :o
@TheSnarkKnight And the verbiage that you expressed in what @tinkeringbell quoted conveyed your message without the connotations of disrespect toward people who struggle with that kind of thing.
Yeah we're really struggling with those... Humor may lighten up a lot of real-life interpersonal situations... but we can't really warrant deleting one and leaving the other I think...
And we've seen our fair share of jokes at an OP's expense, just because their serious problem was 'funny'...
@Tinkeringbell yeah, but I was only able to state that after I calmed down. Prior to that, it was just "WTH?" and again, we have the "assume good intent" rule around here too.
@TheSnarkKnight Right, but you can only assume good intent so far. Until you spelled out for me that the disrespectful connotation wasn't intended, that was literally the only interpretation that I came up with to your words...and I think we've observed that I give a lot more benefit of the doubt than most people do.
@TheSnarkKnight Which goes more for posts than the chatroom I'm afraid... Anyway, next time just shout 'That isn't what I meant, lemme find another way to phrase it'...
(and I'm guilty, I should enforce the chat room more...)
@TheSnarkKnight I have to draw conclusions from the words I'm seeing. Like I said, I did not see a non-disrespectful interpretation of your words, even when I looked for them.
@TheSnarkKnight People are trying to identify the root stages of sexism and intentionally stop sucking it up when they see it. I don't think that's frailty, I think that's strength.
@TheTinyMan the root is called "DNA", we're not going to change that (I hope). The ladies back in my day would respond with a slap to the face if needed. Much better than getting offending, IMO.
@TheTinyMan one of my friends was murdered by her SO, btw, so I'm not speaking from ignorance on the subject
@TheSnarkKnight That's why we are trying to catch people who are in the "I command you to behave in the manner that is most attractive to me and stop expressing yourself" stage of sexism, to make them self-aware that that's what they're doing before they get to the "I'm going to murder you because (for example) you aren't doing what I think you should be doing and therefore you are defective" stage.
@TheSnarkKnight By addressing the problem that men are being forced to work in jobs where the mortality rate is more than 10 times that of women. This is a different problem.
@TheSnarkKnight You are 100% correct. Are you arguing for my point or against it? Because I just heard you say that the thing that you were saying wasn't a problem earlier needs to be addressed. xD
@TheSnarkKnight So you're arguing that either we're talking about 'sexism,' which includes men's rights, or I shouldn't be putting "smile, honey," in the same category as "die, worthless woman?"
@TheSnarkKnight I don't think that anyone suggested that it be treated as a devastating crime.
She wasn't asking for legal advice. She wasn't asking how to hurt this person, or how to get him imprisoned. She was (IIRC) asking how to not be angry, and how to communicate to him that that's not okay.
@TheSnarkKnight I assure you, people would have reacted more strongly if they thought that you were making light of someone who had been domestically abused.
@TheSnarkKnight I decidedly disagree. They were vile, but I disagree that they were maximally vile, and no one was hitting you with moderator or room owner actions, which I imagine would have happened if the topic had been more severe.
Which happens to me too, and I don't answer those as well.
I can't relate to that one either, because I've always been able to face-slap or speak up when needed. Which is why when the whole metoo thing started I had some very interesting discussions with my mom.
So, basically, you're not different on that than the rest of us. All of us were flagging stuff like crazy on that one, but the HNQ effect took place.
There's a lot of users on the SE that have more opinions than practical knowledge and for now all we can do is flag as much as we can, as you yourself have suggested. I told apaul once, and I'm going to tell you know:
All I can do in such situations is ready my torch and pitchfork and drive them out as soon as they appear.... It's like a video game, you can't stop them from appearing. You can only destroy them once they're there...
@Tinkeringbell I think this goes directly to what I was saying earlier. IPS needs to gain control of comments on the questions and answers that don't improve the question or answer.
@Tinkeringbell yeah, it's not easy, and when one of our questions appeared in Hacker news, it was all hands on deck to tamp things down.
What monica usually does here is post a mods note like "Comments are not for extended discussion" or something more strongly worded if people are misbehaving.
I wish I could be more help over there, but right now I doubt I'd be welcome.
@TheSnarkKnight Flag, vote, comment... For me you're always welcome and if people say otherwise they shall have to prove it in a fight with the moderators :P
@Tinkeringbell I do think that you're vulnerable to trolls too. If I wanted to troll IPS, then I would post something like that "smile" question because I know it would be flame-bait. What to do about that, I'm not sure. Lately, we've been trolled over here with some pretty explicit, NSFW "questions", usually by someone with a rep of 101.
@Tinkeringbell I'll probably come back eventually, but I'm still a bit stung about the last time.
I won't come back unless I know I'm not spoiling for a fight as well, it won't help.
When you are the boss of your own porn business. What is the best way to protect yourself if you wish to ignite a sexual and professional relationship with your employee/s off the clock? Can the other workers sue you because they are left out?
I was let go from my last employer due to "poor performance" and in their words "lacking seniority" after working there about 3 months.
After a lot of thinking I've come to the realisation that maybe it was the actual management that was the pitfall and not me:
The initial project I was assign...
The Water Cooler
The Water Cooler