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I have been waiting for you to divide this more into an actual question and answer before responding, but it doesn't look like that will happen. So, I guess I need to address your post in it's entirety.
However, the site's strict management has been bothering me for a while so I tought I'd br...
In response to OP's comment about a dismissive attitude on this site, you wrote: "I personally don't see this played out as you describe." Maybe look through my history on NE.SE and see how I've been (from my point of view) rudely treated in a dismissive way, as if I'm a 15 year old who knows nothing about business networks. There are some NE.SE users with very high reps who maybe have let it go to their heads and have been very rude. To me that's a bad sign, since to whom does one turn when those at the top are part of the problem? —
Todd Wilcox 2 days ago
@ToddWilcox, I am sorry you feel this way and I do take your comment seriously, so please don't take this the wrong way. I just spent the last 20-30 minutes going through all your answers and the comments on them and I don't see any trend of rude or dismissive behavior. It is also possible this took place in comments to other people's questions/answers, but I can't possibly be expected to try to track down every comment. Would it be possible to provide examples of the behavior you describe? —
YLearn ♦ 2 days ago
Looks like a particular user who seemed to have an unexplained and mysterious vendetta against me has gone through and deleted almost all of the comments they have made on my answers and comments. I routinely see that same user being what could most generously described as "curt" to pretty much every new person to the site. It's not that this one person has been so rude that I pretty much can't come to NE.SE without getting stressed, it's that this person is seen as an asset to NE.SE and their attitude seems to be accepted and validated by the mods. It's a bad culture here. —
Todd Wilcox yesterday
Doing my own research it seems like something has changed for the other user in question. The places where I would normally see their superior attitude now have either no content from them or much more polite content. So that's a very good sign and I guess my original comment on this answer is no longer as valid, but I will leave this all here becuase it's not so far back in the history here that this was a real problem and this question seems pretty crucial to NE.SE right now. —
Todd Wilcox yesterday
@ToddWilcox, for the record, 2k+ users and mods can view deleted content. So my comment actually includes deleted content as I did go through any deleted comments. I don't know if they ever get purged, but a quick search showed that deleted comments stay around a long time. Here is a timestamp from one:
deleted by YLearn♦ May 13 '13 at 4:28 So even if you can point me at an answer that you feel was treated poorly in this fashion, I should be able to see the comments. —
YLearn ♦ yesterday
@ToddWilcox first and explanation of what I see happening with the comments being deleted. It looks like you moved the conversation to chat when it became extended (thank you!), and this copied the contents of the comments to chat. You then deleted your comments. A month or so later, the other party noticed and removed their comments (as one side of the conversation makes no sense). The chat room however then was deleted due to inactivity. —
YLearn ♦ 19 hours ago
Now, what I see in that exchange isn't what I would personally classify as rude or dismissive behavior on either side, although both sides may have gotten a bit frustrated with the other. This is one of those internet conversations I would chalk up as more of a "not quite getting each other's point of view" experiences. Personally I think I can see the points each party was trying to get across, but I don't feel either side really addressed the others points well. —
YLearn ♦ 19 hours ago
Well Ylearn, I participate in a lot of SE communities, and for some reason NE is the only one where I think to myself "I don't have any reason to put up with this". If you see any validity to this meta question then it seems to me that you'd want to try to understand the point of view of the people who feel like there's no place for them at NE.SE. Or maybe you are happier staying smaller and cliquish so you know whom you are dealing with. I can't think of a better way to get my point of view across. —
Todd Wilcox 13 hours ago
Looks like a particular user who seemed to have an unexplained and mysterious vendetta against me has gone through and deleted almost all of the comments they have made on my answers and comments. I routinely see that same user being what could most generously described as "curt" to pretty much every new person to the site. It's not that this one person has been so rude that I pretty much can't come to NE.SE without getting stressed, it's that this person is seen as an asset to NE.SE and their attitude seems to be accepted and validated by the mods. It's a bad culture here. —
Todd Wilcox yesterday
I want to address your last comment first. While I agree this comment could be phrased much better and I can see how you could interpret it as you have, let me paraphrase how I understood that comment: “No, I don’t intentionally destroy things and since I know better than to damage an optic like that, it would be a really stupid thing for me to do.”
I can’t say whether your interpretation is correct or mine, however on the Internet where misunderstandings abound I prefer to err by giving the poster the benefit of the doubt.
That said, I feel every meta post is valid to some degree, and I do want to see this community grow and thrive. Clearly, based on the time I have invested in this, I appreciate your feedback and I am attempting to understand your point. I may not be expressing it well, but I feel you aren't getting my point either.
After going through the example you provided multiple times, I don't see the rudeness or you/your experience being dismissed. I have pointed out different problems that I see.
I too have been part of a number of SE communities as well as other online communities, I have moderated forums, and I have run my own forums at points.
If you could sit in the Teacher's Lounge for only an hour you would see true rudeness/disrespect all over the network on levels we have never to my knowledge seen here.
I have seen many conflicts and the majority are usually over some misunderstanding or where one or both parties have formed an opinion based on their (mis)perceptions of the situation or lack of information (especially true online, but offline as well).
I will grant that the person you were involved with has certain aspects of his personality that may rub certain other personalities the wrong way, namely a very high standard to be precise and a demand to back up statements made with fact/proof.
But this is also true of myself to a lesser degree and many of the best network engineers I know. In a group like this I expect to find more than our fair share.
Each community is unique and will be "flavored" by the people drawn to it. There are also certain personalities that don't feel as comfortable in certain situations/groups.
The reality is that there is no "clique" and to be absolutely clear you are more than welcome here (even if you didn't have your experience).
I know there are certain personalities that rub me the wrong way and I can think of a concrete example (which if you have been paying attention you can probably guess), but I still think there is room in this community for them as well if they are willing to "bend" a bit and make some effort to live up to the community's standards.
However, I do know I can't change your perceptions or how you feel, only you can do that. I for one regret that you don't feel like participating here and hope you change your mind on that stance.