@Xander, did you see the op's responses
here? I pretty much went through everything you did in your answer, at least a half hour before you, in comments. The op has acted pretty belligerent in response to corrections, suggestions. Why do you think that repeating what's said in the comments, in an answer, changes what the OP has already been told, yet refuses to accept? That's the main reason I linked to the post here.