+1 for "At the end of the day, all you can do is tell your friend what you are willing to tolerate and hope that they respect your wishes. If respecting you is not on their agenda, ending the friendship is a wise course of action." — mhwombat 10 secs ago

I don't really understand the downvotes. This answer highlights the key points in the OP that suggest that the asker has a wrong perspective on the situation. I would change the sentence about stalking though, as the asker didn't mention anything that implies it. — Taladris 28 secs ago

Thanks for your answer! I would like to express I don't want to talk about the subject without sharing my own opinion or opening a discussion though. I have no interest in changing her beliefs or making her 'understand' my side, I just have no interest in talking about it either. — Summer 11 secs ago

What's worked for me a couple of times in the past is to gather up all her dirty pots/pans and leftovers and put them in her bed. Ignore any comments she makes about the mixer - you said you'd resolve it, she didn't want to know so tell her to accept the offer or shut the **** up (so it'll get her back up, but you won't have to see her again after the move and maybe she'll learn something from it). — Darren Bartrup-Cook 58 secs ago

@Astralbee - Your comment may be more effective at improving the quality of the answer if you were to state which parts of the answer you consider to be culturally-inappropriate and potentially insensitive. "Your husband is not wrong to like what he likes. You need to be honest about what you like. And expect him to be surprised, and maybe a bit upset, to learn that you didn't actually like what you've previously done." all seems pretty universal to me. — Dave Sherohman 50 secs ago

Typical party for family Red: Person: "So where's your man?" Me: "Oh you know him, he doesn't do parties." No-one was ever offended. — RedSonja 1 min ago

Completely agree - too many people these days don't want to escalate situations. Had similar situation and after a particularly bad hang-over on my part it escalated very quickly to a letter from my solicitor (free half hour consultation & letter) saying that if they entered the house without 24 hours written notice I was in my rights to call the police and have them removed. Job done - didn't see them for 6 months until they sold the house. :D — Darren Bartrup-Cook 1 min ago

@DaveSherohman The first paragraph, which basically tells the OP that there is "nothing wrong" with a sexual act that they state they object to, and somewhat accuses them of being to blame for her husband expecting it. When someone insists on sex that the other party objects to, it is called rape. — Astralbee 48 secs ago

Oof.. my father died 3 months after i wrote the original post and now i am reading this.. — hopsinat 1 min ago

I very much appreciate your explicitly addressing the issue of honesty in addressing situations like this. Most of the responses so far have outlined clever little deceptions to get one out of the situation. But for me (the original poster of the question), I would like to learn to draw limits with others that is both kind and honest. Some people have the gift for saying blunt truths in a matter-of-fact way that doesn't trigger hurt or misunderstanding. I don't have that gift (although I would develop it if I could) — Curt 53 secs ago

As a male engineer, to defend engineers and males. The issue with her husband is not a gener/career path thing; this is a person being a stubborn jerk thing. — LampPost 1 min ago

I don't think this is really about interpersonal skills, I think it sounds like you screwed up on the job by potentially risking systems that are in-production because you were too lazy to bother figuring out your test credentials. Your coffee buddy seems to have scolded you appropriately. — Bryan Krause 51 secs ago