You don't like the woman, right? You can't stand her? If that is the case, then tell your girlfriend just that. Tell her that you only stayed polite because you didn't want to upset your girlfriend. — gnasher729 1 min ago

I'm sorry if you are hurt by my words. I sense your mother is immoral, untrustworthy and dishonest. She was not a good mother who kept the money to himself instead of helping your brother's defence. What had she done with your money? Had she blown it all on the boozes, drugs, wild partying, fruit machines, etc? What crime was your brother accused of? You don't have to tell, if that is too insensitive. Thing is, is your brother so like your dishonest mother with shady character? How honest and credible is your brother? If I were you, I trust neither brother nor mother. — Rita Geraghty 1 min ago

Not my downvote, but making things up is how he got into this problem - someone made up the May date. He wants to celebrate something real; having a fake reason to do that doesn't seem apropos. — Lawrence 55 secs ago

I don't get how this is a problem. Why can't you tell them what happened? " It is about to happen again as my new colleagues in my new office will somehow know" I don't understand what that means. Also "I feel they will troll me" I do not understand that sentence in this context, could you explain? — Raditz_35 1 min ago

Honestly, don't you think she knows already? If I were you, I'd ask a different question. I can't tell you which one because I'm not in your shoes, but I think it's a pretty safe bet that a person in what I assume is their mid 40ies is aware of such things. — Raditz_35 32 secs ago

@Raditz_35 "about to happen again" is because May 20 is coming and 1-2 colleagues know what's written in my documents (though never discussed) So they are ready to wish me on that day, but I'm not ready. I will have to tell them about October thing. I think that's when they might troll me, that you have 2 birth dates in a year. — Vikas Kumar 9 secs ago

I really loved this answer. Exactly what I was hoping for, a great way to convey that this boundary is serious to my brother. So when I told him that I would not give him money if he spent it on _, I compared it to a previous contrary scenario and he understood me immediately. (also a small kudo's to Rainbacon's answer which was some additional helpful skills to keep in mind) — Jesse 2 mins ago

I agree with what @ArcanistLupus is saying. This is a good case for using the " 'go away' rate". This is where you set the rate high enough that either they'll go away and leave you alone, or to your astonishment they accept the rate, in which case for such an absurdly high figure you're happy to do the work. Presumably if they paid you a dollar to write the article, you'd say no; if they paid you a million dollars, you'd do it in a heartbeat. Somewhere between there is your ideal go away rate which is high enough that you wouldn't mind doing the work if they said yes. — Kyralessa 33 secs ago