The Heap™ – Consultancy ©®

Phil

00:07

@ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells Was going to!

@Phil I wondered about that. You're not far off 10k now. Save your sheckles until you get to 10,000 at least. More Oracle wonks with 10K will make the world (or at least DBA.SE) a better place. Which remindeth me, I should really make time and answer some stuff to pull mine up to 10,000 as well.

2

Phil

00:28

@ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells Heh, I always assumed you were >10k! Surprised to see you're not!

Simon Righarts

00:44

@ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells Is it just me, or are most of the Oracle questions "file a support ticket with Oracle" answers? :)

Phil

00:54

@SimonRigharts No!

The new question you're probably referring to will probably end up being an old version client talking to a new version server or the other way round (lots of versions apart, not supported). Or something else messed up

Given the messed up SQL Server bugs Aaron has mentioned in here (incorrect results from a query!), Oracle is looking better...

Simon Righarts

@Phil Haha, fair enough

Paul White

01:46

@Phil Every product has bugs. Oracle bugs are just more expensive to purchase :)

5

Chris Travers

04:18

fun fun fun

0

A: Established coding standards for pl/pgsql code

A few points from our experience both in terms of maintainability and security. A lot of things like code formatting are things that can be done any number of ways as long as you are consistent and you use white space appropriately. As for what is unsafe from a security perspective the only thi...

dezso

04:55

@ChrisTravers good one

With you newest answer here, I'm considering adding a note about the whole design - storing individual purchases with a timestamp and then running reports would be so much more useful...

Chris Travers

05:35

Thanks

@dezso Agreed on that.

@dezso Put that in and I will up vote it :-)

Jack Douglas

08:25

@ChrisTravers is it worth mentioning this?

Chris Travers

@JackDouglas I think so

Jack Douglas

@ChrisTravers I'm not signed up to p.se: will you add a note to your answer there?

Chris Travers

although we dropped 8.3 support recently enough and the primary time we use security definer functions is with CREATE/ALTER ROLE statements, which are extra-schema and extra-db.

Jack Douglas

3

Q: Why does sql server need to convert count(*) result into int before comparing it with an int variable?

I have many queries in my application where in the having clause, I have comparison of count aggregate function with int variable. In the query plans, I can see an implicit_convert before the comparison. I want to know why this happens because as per sql server documentation, the return type of c...

Chris Travers

sure

Jack Douglas

08:32

@ChrisTravers I use security definer almost exclusively

Chris Travers

(btw, CREATE/ALTER ROLE statements in Pg pretty much require string interpolation and execute :-P )

Jack Douglas

what do you mean by "interpolation"?

Chris Travers

I mean something like

EXECUE $e$ CREATE ROLE $e$ || quote_ident(in_username) || $e$ WITH PASSWORD $e$ || quote_literal(in_password);

that should be EXECUTE naturally

To my knowledge that's the only way to do that without SQL injection inside your sproc, given that CREATE ROLE is a planless statement and therefore can't be parameterized.

@JackDouglas added

dezso

09:06

@ChrisTravers @JackDouglas Have you seen this already?

I have a table where the PK is feeded from a sequence

... DEFAULT nextval('hibabejelentes.munkalap_munkalap_id_seq'::regclass)

hibabejelentes is obviously the schema name :)

I don't know how it happened to be included in de DEFAULT expression, but nvm

the problem is that when I try yo use currval('munkalap_munkalap_id_seq'), I get an error that currval of sequence "munkalap_munkalap_id_seq" is not yet defined in this session

and yes, there was an insert earlier, so when I try `currval('hibabejelentes.munkalap_munkalap_id_seq'), everything is fine

OK, NVM again: there is an other sequence with the same name, completely unused

long live rubber ducks!

(and @JackDouglas if you agree me please delete the above)

Chris Travers

ouch. Duplicate sequence names strike!

Paul White

Rubber duck debugging

Rubber duck debugging, rubber ducking, and the rubber duckie test are informal terms used in software engineering to refer to a method of debugging code. The name is a reference to a likely apocryphal story in which an unnamed expert programmer would keep a rubber duck by his desk at all times, and debug his code by forcing himself to explain it, line-by-line, to the duck. To use this process, a programmer explains code to an inanimate object, such as a rubber duck, in the expectation that upon reaching a piece of incorrect code and trying to explain it, the programmer will notice his/her...

I never understood that until just now.

That duck looks plastic to me, however.

Jack Douglas

@ChrisTravers in other words you can't use execute ... using?

Chris Travers

@JackDouglas Exactly

dezso

@ChrisTravers and how you you 'interpolate'?

Chris Travers

09:19

@dezso sorry, I should have said "concatenation"

the point though is I can't separate statement from data.

dezso

@ChrisTravers I had a bet with myself :)

Chris Travers

so injection is a possible problem leading to lots of dire warnings in comments >:-D

dezso

09:45

How to tell this guy that he really needs reading about indexes?

0

Q: query is not using indexes when i was tried creating the indexes on columns

Below query is taking long time around 540 seconds. it was not having any indexs on fields. i was created indexes on where clause and other fields and tried but the query is not using indexes no luck. can any one please suggest me. Please find explain plan and Table structure here. mysql&...

mysql sql query-performance

ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells

@Phil More sloth than anything else. I've been busy for the past few months so I don't really spend a lot of time on SE.

@Phil It's managed to attract a drive-by downvote. No idea why - maybe a butthurt NoSQL fanboi?

Paul White

10:41

MySQL (simple) indexes can be used for either ASC or DESC ordering. Unfortunately compound indexes will be useful only for ASC, ASC or DESC, DESC orderings. Mixed types will probably not use the index. — ypercube 1 min ago

@ypercube Thanks. Time to upgrade to a proper database product :)

Paul White

12:19

One for the MySQL people:

1

Q: mysql update unique values from 2 different tables based on 2 index fields

i have 2 tables with the same unique id. i want to change table1 unique_id sequence from (1-100) to random 8 digit ids (43342359 - 83083224) and cascade that to table2. what i have: - table1 id1 (primary) unique_id(index) option_id(index) value1 value2 - table2 id2 (pri...

mysql unique-key

Phil

12:31

So need a kick up the arse to get a job sorted out before I get stuck in a rut

Paul White

@Phil kick

Phil

Looks on Jobserve

Paul White

Good man

dezso

@Phil careers.stackoverflow.com ?

Phil

computerworld.com/s/article/9236416/… -- so where is it?

Last time I looked on careers.so it was USA-centric

dezso

12:42

@Phil I even saw jobs in Budapest

and found my next job in Berlin

Phil

And all of the UK jobs were mostly agile/NoSQL etc. But I'll have another look

dezso

otherwise yes, it is

JNK

12:58

@PaulWhite Most of them are at this point, I think. It's just a naming convention ;)

Paul White

@JNK Hm. I am still bothered by the idea of a plastic rubber duck. Just doesn't seem right at all.

dezso

ebay.com/sch/…

Phil

Better to talk to a rubber duck, rather than the Flying Spaghetti Monster, as a very large percentage of the world do!

Paul White

@dezso trademe.co.nz/Browse/…

dezso

@PaulWhite how about a rubber kiwi?

Paul White

13:05

FILE_NOT_FOUND

ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells

13:26

@Phil boot

dezso

@PaulWhite ebay.com/itm/…

ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells

@Phil I did a quick jobserve search for 'oracle dba'. There's some stuff at crap rates but at least a few 500+/day contracts if you don't mind hanging out with merchant bankers.

JNK

13:45

So is the MS MVP thing this week?

I thought I saw Aaron tweeting about being in Seattle

Phil

Don't think I could get a banking contract - not been on the electoral roll for 9 years, what with being abroad etc. they do background checks & stuff don't they?

JNK

In the US a shady background would probably help in the financial sector

ZING

ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells

@Phil You will get vetted for bankruptcy and various other red flags for finance jobs, but I'm not on the electoral roll AFAIK and nobody's complained about me.

dezso

@Phil those who move to Poland are untrustworthy?

ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells

@JNK It does here as well, just as long as you don't get caught.

JNK

13:56

@ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells Exactly!

ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells

The check should come back fine as long as you have no undischarged bankruptcies or convictions for anything vaguely related to theft or fraud, I think. Not sure what the vetting actually involves - I've just had it done on various occasions.

JNK

in the US they check for financial issues as well before you can work with sensitive data

I work(ed) with health care personal data and had a couple of week check run

I imagine the biggest concern is you have serious financial trouble and will steal to take care of it

at banks it's only OK to steal if you're going to get richer, not to get out of a crisis

ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells

They do various checks here. I think they're mainly interested in picking up dodgy credit and theft/fraud convictions. Murder, GBH - perfectly fine.

Background check

A background check or background investigation is the process of looking up and compiling criminal records, commercial records and financial records of an individual or an organization. Reasons Background checks are often requested by employers on job candidates for employment screening, especially on candidates seeking a position that requires high security or a position of trust, such as in a school, hospital, financial institution, airport, and government. These checks are traditionally administered by a government agency for a nominal fee, but can also be administered by private co...

Phil

I've only killed a few of my own internal organs :)

ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells

@Phil They let all sorts of riff raff from the colonies work in the banks. As long as you've got no form for theft, fraud or bankruptcy you're probably OK.

Phil

14:14

Not that I know of

ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells

@Phil Should be OK then.

I sort of SEO my CV by putting a 'key technologies' section with each gig that has a list of buzzwords (SSIS, SQL Server 2012, SSAS, MDX, T-SQL ...) designed to get picked up by text retrieval systems. I get a fairly steady stream of agency spam so it seems to work.

ypercube

14:35

@ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells I will try that :)

swasheck

15:28

zzzzzz

@Phil the liver regenerates itself if you give it time. you're golden

rfusca

so I'm dealing with an old legacy app. And every frontend web user that gets made, gets its own Oracle user to connect with and its own full schema copy of synonyms pointing back to the 'real' schema. And each one is a few thousand synonyms....and they're up to over 1k users in the system. So now they're MILLIONS of synonyms out there. Its kinda funny.

swasheck

@rfusca especially for us

ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells

15:55

@swasheck Coffee ...

swasheck

@ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells i've done it ... twice

Lamak

@swasheck in your life?

swasheck

@Lamak in the last 10 minutes

Lamak

oh

swasheck

i am wiped out

njk

16:01

I don't drink coffee.

Hate the taste.

I eat an apple

Lamak

@swasheck rough weekend?

swasheck

@njk you are much healthier than i

Lamak

@njk I don't think that it has the same effect

swasheck

@Lamak not really

Lamak

@swasheck I would say than any of us

swasheck

16:04

it's just getting harder to justify coming to work

Lamak

@swasheck I always thought that the justification was that we are getting paid

Phil

Mozerella and pepperoni baguette. NOM

swasheck

@Lamak there you go with you moralistic pontification.

2

Phil

Sooo good

swasheck

@Lamak i mean ... you're right. i'm just unmotivated

Lamak

16:06

@swasheck I could also argue that if it weren't because I'm at work, I probably wouldn't be on The Heap

@swasheck I hear you

swasheck

and my wife had to stay up talking about the end of Downton Abbey.

JNK

@swasheck That was pretty disappointing

This whole last season (series for the UK folks) was pretty bad honestly

Lamak

@swasheck Had to google that

swasheck

@JNK actors want out and want to take their stars to Hollywood. i'm more interested in the "downstairs."

JNK

@swasheck Yeah me too. I didn't mean the dramatic thing at the end just the way they ended it so quick

ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells

16:13

@Phil JOBSERVE

swasheck

i've had more of a problem with the painful melodrama. many things seem like they're exacerbated just to fill the time or to find a reason to perpetuate a story line. it's why i stopped watching "Chuck." i got tired of waiting for Chuck to hook up with the girl.

JNK

I think part of it for me was the first season felt like there was the potential for a lot more sort of social commentary and historical relevance than what materialized

it's really just a melodrama/soap basically

swasheck

@JNK exactly

rfusca

@swasheck so true (regarding chuck)

JNK

@swasheck yeah this is pissing us off too. also a lot of the plotting is like super transparent

like everything in that last episode you saw coming a mile away

Lamak

16:14

@swasheck dexter is doing the same

JNK

"I'm so happy darling!" "I'm so glad we have Matthew to help us now! He saved the estate!" "We had a baby I've never been happier!"

<me> I'm sure nothing bad will happen now.

swasheck

i think my disappointment is that i had higher hopes from the BBC. i didnt think they'd cater to the American need for senseless melodrama.

JNK

...and the Sybil episode where she was telling her sister to make sure she takes care of her husband.

swasheck

@rfusca then i found out that he DID hook up with her ... i was so mad i refused to catch up. i'm ... weird.

JNK

@swasheck I read an interview with Fellowes before where he basically said "It's a soap, people just took a couple of seasons to realize it"

Jack Douglas

16:17

@swasheck do you know about trigram matching on pg? Can I pick your brains?

swasheck

@JNK ugh

JNK

I don't think there's anything wrong with the show, I think the problem is my expectations of it

swasheck

@JackDouglas i actually don't. but Erwin posted an answer RE: trigram on a question that i answered. did you see that one?

JNK

b/c it's BBC and PBS so we are looking for a little more depth

swasheck

3

A: Full Text Search With PostgreSQL

In addition to what @swasheck already explained, you'll probably get better performance with LIKE (~~) and ILIKE (~~*) in combination with a trigram GiST or GIN index. You'll have to install the additional module pg_trgm for that. Find details under these related questions: How is LIKE implement...

Jack Douglas

16:19

yes, I was just looking at that!

I'll ask on the site then :)

swasheck

@JackDouglas looks handy and useful for my porpoises

@JNK i've lost faith in PBS. i appreciate it for PBS Kids

Jack Douglas

@swasheck turns out my question has already been answered: you can have a trigram index on a function :)

swasheck

@JackDouglas very nice. i'm still waking up and trying to figure the benefit of trigram vs. FTS

> ASCII alphanumeric text based on trigram matching

i need unicode. le sigh

Jack Douglas

@swasheck well I am a complete noob with either

never mind GiST v GiN

swasheck

@JackDouglas yes the descriptions are one thing. "how it relates to what i'm trying to do" is another :)

ypercube

16:48

The answer has been edited (by a moderator but nonetheless, edited.)

-8

A: How to calculate some specific things about a disk?

We'd like to help, but unfortunately, there are so many variables here that it's a not really a question that is answerable in a meaningful way. Here's some questions you could ask back to the teacher. What database platform? How much header information per page? per row? What's the database p...

Does it still have to be at -8 ?

Lamak

@ypercube I don't know. I really dislike the original answer

I might actually undownvote it if he had edited his answer

but someone else did

jcolebrand

Given this usage pattern, what should my reasonable estimate of usage be for the current bill cycle?

July was a fluke, I didn't realize I had put Spotify to sync over 2G/3G and had reinstalled it, so ... I synced my 3GB data plan before I realized it ...

Lamak

@jcolebrand hard to say. But it seems that you need to prepare for a March peak

jcolebrand

@Lamak Possibly :p

I forget what I did in March that spiked me so much

I think I just had a lot of social events then

Lamak

@jcolebrand time to stay at home, then

jcolebrand

17:01

Would you reasonably estimate that my data usage had miraculously gone up to 4.5 GB for this monthly cycle?

I tend to stay at consistent data usage patterns over time. I changed jobs around Sept - Oct 2012

Lamak

@jcolebrand probably, yes

jcolebrand

And yet, somehow, I've used 50% more in January/Feb than my consistent pattern

I also disagree with AT&Ts management interface, as they told me that Renata once used 300MB of data in 15 minutes on their Edge network.

swasheck

i know it's important to be culturally sensitive, but this recruiter's name made me laugh out loud

jcolebrand

It's not even possible to use 300MB on their network in 15 minutes.

@swasheck I wonder if that's actually a name or if it's a joke ...

swasheck

@jcolebrand if his first name was Phil ... then i'd think it was a joke.

Jack Douglas

17:04

@ypercube because the question is closed, I don't think it does any harm to leave it as it is: it's kind of an educational post from the edit history and the comments :)

jcolebrand

@ypercube We can't revert the votes. All those who downvoted would have to go and undownvote.

ypercube

@swasheck reminded of this book, or how to get negative feedback:

NSFW ??? here's a PHP book that should make you giggle at the ASIN amazon.com/SexyPHP-Learn-Object-Oriented-ebook/dp/B00B5WS1Y4

(check the ASIN code)

jcolebrand

@ypercube this book makes me highly uncomfortable.

The only redeeming factor re: this book is the fact that it's teaching PHP, so I'm never going to need it.

ypercube

@jcolebrand Feel free to remove the link from the chatroom

swasheck

@ypercube i dont even want to know how you found that

aaaaaaaaaannnnnndddddd the boss just walked by

that'll come up in the 1:1

Lamak

17:10

@swasheck as in "Why were you watching that offensive content?, I mean, PHP??"

jcolebrand

@ypercube resolved but left the link.

swasheck

@Lamak fortunately the pic comes up in chat so i didnt actually open the amazon link for all to see. he just happened to be walking by. not quite sure how to explain that, "oh yeah ... i was in a chat room with a few other like-minded professionals ..." :)

user58869

nsfw

user58869

i clicked the link and quickly closed it, hope no one saw

swasheck

@axrwkr oh they saw

Lamak

17:16

@swasheck and they took pictures too

swasheck

@Lamak hopefully it's stored in a mysql database so that you can't actually rely on the reports, @axrwkr

and now this ... seems legit

jcolebrand

@axrwkr sorry, added that to the link

@swasheck you say this: We were discussing the unprofessionalism of some software authors and how nobody should encourage sexism in our industry. What you saw was the snippet from Amazon and we were all mortified someone would publish such a book.

When you point out that what was seen was from Amazon, and that you were morally outraged, who can argue?

swasheck

@jcolebrand indeed. it won't be a big deal.

jcolebrand

Nah

JNK

17:32

i keep getting promos for chromebooks

do they run ChromeOS?

jcolebrand

Meaning "one web browser to rule them all, and no visible OS" yes

JNK

oh it's ONLY a browser?

swasheck

@JNK no ... it's a browser that is an OS.

ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells

@JNK Chrome sitting on top of a bastardised linux kernel.

JNK

ok then

swasheck

17:56

> Comprehensive knowledge and ability to Administer MS SQL 2005 and MS SQL 2008 R2

so they want Remus?

Zane

@swasheck this place never ceases to amaze me. They want now to get rid of our DataWarehouse and run some sort of OLAP OLTP hybrid database....

swasheck

@Zane just for fun?

Zane

Well because why have data in two places? lol

ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells

Tell them to buy qlikview
Then brush up your CV in case someone is dumb enough to buy into that.

Zane

@swasheck never heard of it however we buy nothing here

rfusca

18:13

@Zane supposedly something like oracle exadata can do that 'nicely'

Lamak

18:51

So, what should we do if I found a small error (more like a typo) on msdn books online?

msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/hh213505.aspx

here on the "C. FORMAT with numeric types" section, the column names on the select vs the results don't match completely

Cade Roux

19:34

@JNK Yes, they are pretty awesome little things for what they do for $249. I have the original Cr-48 prototype and it gets the job done if you just need a browser (plus Chrome remote desktop). Comes with free cloud storage etc. The 3G comes with free limited data (like 200MB a month) for a couple years.

@Zane Just having it in two different schemas is going to be necessary for some kinds of reporting. PERHAPS you can get that with indexed views, but I doubt it. Having said that, it really depends upon the scope of the data. For many applications, reporting and analyzing directly off the OLTP data is certainly possible with something as simple as good indexing.

Zane

@CadeRoux The datawarehouse is already built fully operational and is serving hundreds of customers.

The database I would be merging with has about 5 customers on it and performs large garbage due to the overall cruddy design.

Cade Roux

@Zane So they want to get rid of it because <insert stupid management trick here>?

Zane

/nod

ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells

@Zane Enumerate the users with permissions on reports and analytics on your main DW and then ask the party proposing this to produce an itemised work breakdown of replacing all existing reports, cubes and other artifacts off their preferred system.

Make it clear that you do not have the time or resources to take this work on, so a business case for replacing the current reports with something off their preferred system would have to be made and the work paid for somehow.

This is a business issue and nothing to do with I.T. Ask them to document their risks and assumptions then submit it into whatever your incumbent change control process is.

swasheck

19:51

^^^^^^ this

ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells

This puts the onus on them to make the business case for the migration and come up with a scope, work breakdown and estimate that can stand up to some cross-examination.

If they want a contractor I can look into doing the analysis work for, oh, 1,500 USD per day + travel and accommodation expenses. They will also have to arrange a work permit.

jcolebrand

@ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells only $200/hr?

Also, I'm so naive. At $200/hr I tend to pay for accommodation myself out of pocket ...

ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells

I'll do a fair and unbiased assessment and make the business case. Depending on the scope of the project I estimate this preliminary analysis work would take somewhere between 6 and 18 months.

swasheck

@jcolebrand you're also not coming from Downton Abbey

jcolebrand

fwiw for those interested: $1500/day => 7.5 hrs/day * $200/hr

ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells

19:55

@jcolebrand IBM or Accenture would charge you more than that.

jcolebrand

@ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells SRSLY?

ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells

@jcolebrand Yes. I'd expect to see somewhere between £1,200-£1,750 p/d for a bigger consultancy firm. It's a bit tighter so the rates might be lower these days.

If you have 'hundreds of users' the requirements gathering work would be months by itself.

Cade Roux

@Zane Zane, I'll tell them they are idiots over Skype for free if you want.

ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells

@CadeRoux No, no. They won't listen to it if it's free. You have to charge them a big slug of money to get them to listen to being told they're idiots.

2

Lamak

@ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells this is absolutely true

ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells

20:03

@CadeRoux Tell you what. I'll offer to go in at $1,500. You start your pitch at $1,350 and settle for $1,200. They'll think they're getting a bargain.

Cade Roux

@ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells Good plan

swasheck

@ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells this sounds like a gig for @Phil and his dream team of Heap consultants. We can all get on Skype and round robin the naysaying. i say we each charge $50/hr

2 hour minimum

Lamak

@swasheck @Phil suggestion is still one of the more starred comments here

ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells

@swasheck Gotta think big. These are dumb people working for a large corporation. If you can get them to buy your bullshit you can milk them for $500,000 just as easily as $50.

Cade Roux

@swasheck But is that web scale?

Lamak

20:08

@CadeRoux no, that is a premium service that increase the costs x3000. But, today we are starting an offer and we are increasing the costs only x1000

swasheck

@ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells but i was thinking ... 10 consultants at $50/hr (minimum 2 hrs) just to say, "that's stupid" ... easy money

ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells

@swasheck More ambition - While I'd ordinarily say that stupidity of this magnitude should be removed from the gene pool as soon as possible these people work for an organisation large enough to have a data warehouse with hundreds of users. We owe it to them to help with their personal growth by showing them the reality of the situation and charging them a fair price for producing the analysis.

We're not a charity and they don't need charity.

swasheck

@ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells you make a good point

Lamak

@ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells and they don't want charity

ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells

@Lamak No. They want to pay for good advice and see they got their money's worth.

jcolebrand

20:32

@swasheck It would cost me at minimum $2500 to decide that they're idiots and should not change things.

> Nomination Period Began: 33 mins ago

They both have elections ongoing, if you feel like you have contributed to those communities enough to contribute well to their ongoing moderation.

ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells

20:50

@jcolebrand We need an impressive sounding European consultancy for our foray across the pond. I suggest 'Scheister & Karpettborse GMBH'

jcolebrand

Yer doing it wrong

H&S Consulting Services, Unlimited.

Heap and Stack, of course.

ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells

That would work.

jcolebrand

What does BrentO call his? It's "Unlimited", right

but I do like the German acronymification bit on the end. We need that too.

ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells

H&S Consulting Services
A Scheister & Karpettborse group company

Simon Righarts

@jcolebrand yeah it's Brent Ozar Unlimited

jcolebrand

20:52

@SimonRigharts exactly

Lamak

@ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells nice

Simon Righarts

@ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells karpettborse? I don't get that bit

ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells

@SimonRigharts Carpet bag

jcolebrand

Oh, haha, I thought it was like a "clearinghouse" like the Deutsche Börse

Like "we have a lot of consultants we can bring round and tell you why this won't work"

Phil

Looks

Zane

20:58

@CadeRoux I have done that in person several times. Lol the same meeting we decided to and not to use HADOOP like 7 times. It's complete madness.

Cade Roux

@Zane So is there an actual company pain point that they are trying to mitigate?

@Zane Because it seems like these are pretty serious "bet-the-company" decisions.

Zane

It would take ages to explain @CadeRoux....Ages

jcolebrand

I believe we have time

Cade Roux

21:50

Explain this (pricing):

amazon.com/dp/B008XNZMOU

amazon.com/Red/dp/B009VLX8FS

CD + MP3 for $11.99
MP3 Only for $14.19

jcolebrand

22:01

It's called "incentive pricing"

Simon Righarts

@jcolebrand that's a polite way to describe "effed up"

jcolebrand

No, it's a polite way to describe "we want to fuck our userbase over because we assume they're bad at math" which is much more accurate.

They incentivize the collection of CDRoms so that you only associate music with hard plastic shiny disks that only a handful of venues should sell, and that anyone else selling them must be doing something illegal.

The reward is shiny pop music on the radio, and in your hand. There's a reason only a handful of companies own most of the radio stations.

Cade Roux

This album was not purchased for me, let me just make that clear.

jcolebrand

I personally never expected it was

Cade Roux

@jcolebrand Admittedly, the album was release PRIOR to Amazon announcing their "AutoRip" system where most CDs just go into your Cloud Player account when you buy them.

@jcolebrand "I knew you were trouble when you walked in." That is the song my daughter requested by name. Right before I blew my head off.

swasheck

22:39

@CadeRoux explain why you were looking at taylor swift music.

Cade Roux

@swasheck My daughter requested that song. Then I had to have her repeat it. Then I had to ask her to tell me who it was by. Then I bought it. Then I had to listen to her sing along to it. I am an idiot.

jcolebrand

►

Enlightening my office mates about the IT Crowd

swasheck

@CadeRoux suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure

Cade Roux

@jcolebrand Did you try turning it off and on again?

Simon Righarts

@swasheck Admit it, you knew exactly what it was ;)

swasheck

22:48

@SimonRigharts i will admit that i know who it is

Simon Righarts

@swasheck That sounds suspiciously like "if I admit this much they won't suspect that I know everything" ... ;)

or maybe I'm just suspicious and cynical

swasheck

@SimonRigharts misguided suspicion. :) i've never heard a thing she's done, but i do know this youtu.be/OeuHxZURHls?t=1m45s

Simon Righarts

23:04

@swasheck Just joshin' :) I really am that cynical though ;)

I'm too young to be this bitter and jaded...

swasheck

@SimonRigharts no worries. and your cynicism may serve you well

jcolebrand

@jcolebrand, you don;t move the data, you restore the data from teh prod backup. Then you don;t have tow erroy about it. Of course you do then have to run the scripts to make all the changes that haven't gone to prod yet, but they are in source control (right?) and thus easy to run. — HLGEM 2 hours ago

Wut?

Simon Righarts

Looks like me the first (and only) time I tried to touch-type on an ergonomic (split) keyboard

jcolebrand

This is someone with 60k+ SE cred. So what's up with the logic there ...

Simon Righarts

@jcolebrand If your plan to get data from prod to test is just "nuke the entire test database, restore latest prod backup" then you shouldn't need to worry about identity collisions right?

jcolebrand

23:09

@SimonRigharts That wasn't even my question. >.< Why do I reply without reading?

Simon Righarts

@jcolebrand I'm confused now - are you saying your Mar '11 reply was without reading?

jcolebrand

@SimonRigharts no, the comment I just deleted.

Simon Righarts

Oh right.

ypercube

23:27

Fun agent spam: "We want some with experience in MySQL 2000, 2008, 2012. Enterprise edition."

swasheck

@ypercube (✌ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞

Phil

What drives me mad the most is when they want a "SQL DBA"

ypercube

@swasheck Is there a meaning there? Or random Unicode?

swasheck

@Phil ლ(ಠ_ಠლ)

@ypercube chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/look-of-disapproval/…

jcolebrand

@Phil I prefer Mongo DBAs with MSCEs and 7 years experience.

swasheck

23:32

i still like the ad i got today for someone who has expert knowledge of SQL Server engine.

they clearly want to hire @PaulWhite or Remus.

Phil

There's a huge gap in the market for recruiters that actually know what they're hiring. Could even do the first interview for clients!

swasheck

@Phil indeed.

Simon Righarts

@Phil I lucked out and found an IT recruitment agency that actually doesn't completely suck, pity they're only in New Zealand as far as I know

Mark Storey-Smith

@Phil There's a huge gap in the ground that recruiters should be pushed into.

jcolebrand

@swasheck ◔_◔ This has issues doesn't it?

Mark Storey-Smith

23:36

@jcolebrand It started shoving adverts into some windows, so I removed it.

jcolebrand

@MarkStorey-Smith adverts? Really? I'll have to keep an eye out for that then

I'm only seeing that it doesn't paste into textboxes, and the alignment is horrible

swasheck

@MarkStorey-Smith really? i use adblock pro

Simon Righarts

@jcolebrand I had one ask for 5 years of experience with SQL Server 2008. In 2010.

jcolebrand

@SimonRigharts Yeah, I always found that to mean "5 years relative experience, in this or a similar product" unless it says "5 years managing SQL Server 2008, in addition to other experience" where what they really want is a SQL Server 2008 ninja who has more skill than common sense.

ypercube

@swasheck The Reviews page has many (negative) comments about the permissions that the add-on requires and the ads.

swasheck

23:43

@ypercube nuts. just noticed that.

also uninstalling

swasheck

23:55

@MarkStorey-Smith i got around my issue with no NAT in Hyper-V. i just assigned two NICs ... one external and one internal. it took me 5 weeks to stumble across that brilliant idea

Simon Righarts

@jcolebrand Yeah it's poor wording, but it still sounds ridiculous

Mark Storey-Smith

@swasheck :)

Transcript for

The Heap™ – Consultancy ©®