"It isn’t even about the cool use of UPDATE .WRITE used in the MAXOOR table load. - Wayne Gretzky" - Paul White

If Paul White thinks it's cool, I'm sold.

Well I did write it over a decade ago so you might want to factor that in. Probably still cool though

I mean it sounds like it has performance benefits in some specific scenarios, so that's cool. But I'd argue if someone has the same blob of text stored in many rows in their table, perhaps there's an opportunity for normalizing that field out into a separate table so it's not repeated. Then UPDATE performance probably won't matter as much.

🎈🎈🎈

morning

@PaulWhite 🛩️🚀🎈💥

@PaulWhite Makes sense. I didn't really look into it too much because no repro and OP was clearly leaving a bunch of information out.

I'm on call today so probably won't look at it until wednesday

on call huh

i'm glad your lifts are finally strong enough for you to pick up a phone

Yeah, I'm sure it'll be a train wreck (there's a pun in there)

Don't get carried away, I'm not that strong

It's for the cloud

clouds don't have phones

well maybe it's a pink phone

@SeanGallardy I don't expect you to look into it (it's query opt after all), I just thought you'd be interested to know

I believe the clear phones are lighter, since they are transparent, right?

@PaulWhite eh, doesn't hurt to look but there be dragons so I probably won't linger.

@ErikDarling looking v pretty 2day

I wonder if the intern hired an intern to do all the masking stuff

I mean...

got some dude from fiverr

onerr

"small c++ project, need fast help"

maybe it was lakhrr

no sql knowledge needed

lakhs quality

"why does this source code have so many comments about a guy named conor being angry?"

@SeanGallardy and to be fair to the OP (which does not come naturally), it would be an extremely well-specified question that included masking on tables not involved in the problem query

@PaulWhite True, but you'd still think they would have given more than "just run a query, anything"

Oh sure, it was a journey to get the basics

pulling teeth to get data on that one

Now you all know what it's like working with the same people who say, "It took MS support 3 months". Clearly that's not every time, but many of the ones that ran long (for me and those I had to look over) it was the customer not able to give/get data or just stating it only happens every 90 days and they can't repro

L

O

L

but yeah the ones with some of our FL.. that's on our FL

I starred it then I'll star it now

Part of the problem, imo, is that all of support is severely understaffed

I don't remember all the numbers since it's been almost a year, but it was something like we had 60 people to handle a few hundred issues a day

clearly many of these issues run multiple days, so many people were trying to work 30-50 issues per day whic just isn't sustainable

My rates are reasonable

I wish we could

My rates are unreasonable

Because I would never do that job

I'd 100% love to to give some weird stuff to you guys

because there are only 2-3 people left on the team with the skills remotely necessary to work some of these cases

I wonder how many people go into support thinking it'll be full of interesting challenges

I honestly loved and believe there are some interesting challenges there

Then you get to deal with 100 muppets per day using Teams and sixteen different email systems

yeah

that's the downside

Knocks the enthusiasm right out

muppets both internally and externally

Sort of like consulting then

V much

How does anyone get motivated to get out of bed in the morning

I'm especially not happy about the severity stuff, people can just choose to have something labeled high severity and MS's stance is someone must be on the call at all times

Everything's fucked up

so then you end up having half your people tied up on "high" severity cases which are not at all high severity

"we're justifying the business impact and severity of this case because the person who is working on this is going on vacation tomorrow and we want it done today."

Everyone seems quite selfish these days, have you noticed

Again, TBF, MS has trained people to use high severity because of the staffing issues and that was the only way you could get someone to work on your stuff. That was also back in 2012-2014.

So it's partly their fault

ok, I'll get off my tiny soapbox

no, it's all very fair

On a different note, why do people select the result of a huge query into a new temporary table and then immediately select * from temp; without doing anything else?

I mean, what's the thinking there

Except, "someone told me to use temporary tables to optimize our queries"

My attention was drawn to just such an incident just now by an "excessive comments" automatic flag

So I was already in a bad mood before I started reading the questions and endless commentary

And having ploughed (plowed) through all that, I am now too depressed to answer the question

😬

Am I working in support here

Would wine help?

Well, it's 5:26am so

@PaulWhite You've found out the secret... cat's out of the bag.

@PaulWhite so it's after 5 o'clock

ha ha

goodnight 😴🛌💤

🎈

🎈^99

morning

afternoon

evening

none of the above

You should have said noon of the above

Sheesh