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00:08
@ErikDarling I'm always down to try something new. Cheers!
Any one in particular you recommend? The Aperitivo sounds titillating.
01:03
I have the apertivo in my bar cart. I’ve had a few of the others out and about. It all does the job.
01:14
> It all does the job

Does it send an invoice though
Job not invoiced is job not done
strikes again etc. etc.
 
5 hours later…
06:04
@ErikDarling I like this port from Hooper's.
Morning
@HannahVernon Where does that syntax come from? It's not documented in the OPENROWSET documentation on MS SQL Docs.
Morning
Strange. Just saw this tab was open in my browser.
8
A: Internally, how does OpenRowset(TABLE ...) work?

John K. N.I think this article is the nearest you will come to determining what goes on under the hoods: Where Does SQL Server Store the Source for Stored Procedures? (improve.dk) In his article Mark S. Rasmussen digs into finding out where several (SQL Server) internal views retrieve base definitions fr...

Spooky
Can't remember opening that one.
That just gave me the creeps.
 
3 hours later…
09:24
A chairde - Morning all!
I wandered lonely as a regex... when to use the f*&%-ing things and when not? To die — to sleep. To sleep — perchance to regex: ay, there's the rub!
 
3 hours later…
12:01
@mustaccio invoice comes the next morning
@JohnK.N. you should ping @SeanGallardy for the port, he was looking for new ones to try
12:59
@ErikDarling Much more affordable for plebs like me :D
My new avatar
2
Somehow Sean Gallardy Returned
lol I should change my name
Return of Sean Gallardy
spaceballs is the better movie
@Zikato I did not know that, TY
Almost anything is better than 7, 8, 9
13:11
@ErikDarling Thanks
Messed Be The Transcript.
@SeanGallardy Chat avatar refreshed too
Did you have to force it or does it do it automagically?
I did it manually. It does happen automatically eventually
@PaulWhite Aww, you're the best - most of the time :D
Yeah, I know
13:23
@SeanGallardy v. appropriate
13:40
> I work as a Contributor Success PM in the Skilling organization at Microsoft, and I am reaching out to you because you have been nominated by **** from Database Doc team for your contributions to content on the Microsoft Learn platform.
You're skilling it
@Zikato Nominated for...MVP?
MVS, most valuable skiller
not nominated to work on the docs team i hope
13:56
not MVP
> We’d like to highlight you and spotlight your work in a series called “Contributor Stories” with the hope that it inspires others to follow your path and share their valuable expertise by contributing to the Microsoft Learn platform too. This article will be published on the Microsoft Learn - Microsoft Community Hub. I
> Please send *** in Bitcoin to pay in advance
3
theeeeerrre it is
LOL
I didn't see that coming.
DROP SHOE
14:01
yeah, I made that last one up
but one can never be too careful
RESTORE SHOE WITH RECOVERY
Strangely believable however
So today I took a look at the sys.fn_hadr_backup_is_preferred_replica function and I'm not surprised it's at the top of the Scalar function CPU usage list
14:29
4
A: Why does sys.fn_hadr_backup_is_preferred_replica take so long? Is there a better way?

Aaron Bertrand The problem I'm experiencing is that the function takes a long time to run (about 3 seconds per database) It's possible that this is among a growing list of dynamic management objects that don't support predicate push-down, so you will probably notice higher delays as the number of AGs and/o...

That function is gross. Looks like someone doesn't know how to write joins. Or EXISTS.
> just be aware that if you have 10,000 databases in your AG, they may just tell you to stop doing that
That's 100% accurate and correct.
And please stop doing it
Aside from the obviously horrible cursor, this line makes me laugh`
if (@role is not null) begin  if (@role = 2)  begin select @is_preferred = 0 return 0
asked 7 years ago. Nope < 10 AGs, less than 5 DBs per ag
but yeah, the cursors and ifs were funny
someone should rewrite it and open source it
So apparently someone also doesn't understand nulls, and also doesn't understand how return works.
14:32
Thank you, Erik.
I look forward Zikato's open source alternative
I expect load testing, different collations, etc., the WORX
make sure every combination of every possible technology is also tested
@Zikato 🤣
My coworker made the new avatar, he said:
> He started out as Darth Swol
14:40
Do you mean the Ben Swolo meme? knowyourmeme.com/memes/ben-swolo
@Zikato Nah, that's not even swole, like does he even lift?
oh god
I didn't think I could be whiter than I always was
That also makes me look small :(
I took the original meme picture. The better quality probably isn't as white
15:13
does anyone have bets on how long this pm will last?
the sun never sets on the british pm nominations
@ErikDarling 2 December 2024.
Sunak will likely hold things together until then.
And they have to have an election by 17 Dec 2024.
Traditionally its on a Thursday, and not likely to be late in December due to holidays.
So my bet is first Thurs in December of that year, and they will probably lose it.
15:28
@bbaird Most Valuable Skivvy more like! :-)
@bbaird I believe they make good eating!
@Vérace What? Bonier than a fish, those hounds!
You break all the bones by putting them in a bag and beating them senseless with the traditional Irish hurley, then you boil them all day with barley and a bit of cabbage - yummy!
In that case, I'm glad they escaped your crummy, dog-hating isle!
Even if it is super cold here during the winter and their little bony toes get cold
@Charlieface why do you think they'll lose?
@bbaird We don't hate them - on the contrary, we absolutely adore them when they're properly cooked!
16:16
@ErikDarling Might depend on what's in the November 17 finance package, how the winter period goes, and a few other things. There'll be high resistance to another change of PM, so something pretty dramatic would need to happen. That wouldn't be entirely a new thing, of course.
@ErikDarling Why do you think they'll win? They've been in power for 12 years, British get bored after about that amount of time. Same happened with Labour before that.
@SeanGallardy Here's a good start. dbfiddle.uk/W0lBdl8K
@Charlieface i don't think they'll win. i never said that. i have zero opinions.
@PaulWhite local factors then eh
I got the 'sun never sets on the British Empire' reference btw
@ErikDarling Could be local, could be non-local. It's v hard to predict anything atm
I'm not convinced they know what will be in the Nov 17 package yet
Nov 17 NuGet package
Should Josh expect a call to help with that?
16:32
He helped me, so probably should just in case
That was indeed the joke
Indeed it was
 
2 hours later…
18:18
Confirmed then
18:32
Just got the "offline" page on main.
19:25
@JoshDarnell i think it just hates you
19:57
Impossible; Josh is very likeable.
Failed to establish a secure connection
20:21
That was the error message I saw
Went away after a minute or so
Makes you wonder, did you ever get a secure connection or did it stop caring it was secure and just give you something....hmmm.
20:53
Do not parse GO, do not collect 200 query bucks...
7
21:43
wham fans hardest hit
lol

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