The Heap™ – Consultancy ©®

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Vérace

04:57

A chairde - Morning all!

@JohnK.N. posted answer as requested - learnt a shed-load - thanks for prodding (goading? :-) ) me!

1 hour later…

John K. N.

06:06

@Vérace You're welcome

morning

@JoshDarnell You can work around that with a AppVersion table that has flags for Update_in_progress and other things. The first one to start the update sets the flag and anybody coming in afterwards has to wait.

But yes, it isn't easy.

Emphasis is on ...employ its own database changes at startup.

John K. N.

06:57

@Vérace +1

@JoshDarnell ...and thanks for the link.

Zikato

07:10

Morning

Zikato

07:20

I've tried to answer the happy camper question anyway

3 hours later…

Paul White

10:20

Morning

2 hours later…

Hannah Vernon

12:08

data.se login via StackExchange OpenID works again.

Erik Darling

12:45

nope

Ginger

good morning heap users

it is me, Ginger

you may remember me from when one of our ROs moved a bunch of messages into your room

Erik Darling

prove it

Ginger

sure, one second

May 31 at 20:58, by Ginger

one of our admins misclicked and moved a story about lizards to your room

good enough?

Erik Darling

that could be any ginger

Ginger

Erik Darling

12:57

we get tons of gingers in here

millions of'em

Ginger

hmmm

Erik Darling

once we had a ginger convention

Ginger

how do I prove that I am the One True Ginger?

I'm tempted to go get lyxal but lyxal is quite far from a trustworthy source :b

Erik Darling

send me one billion gingercoins

Ginger

can I compress them?

Erik Darling

13:00

as long as it doesn't make them soupy

Ginger

one second, I'm consulting my chief financial officer

lyxal

@ErikDarling ETH wallet address to send gingercoins?

Erik Darling

12345

lyxal

The coins should be in your wallet shortly

I have sent them on behalf of the real™ Ginger

Ginger

which is me

lyxal

13:03

That should prove without a doubt Ginger is the One True Ginger™

my work here is done

good day to all

Ginger

thanks

@ErikDarling is that satisfactory?

Erik Darling

i forget what we were talking about

Paul White

lot of misinformation circulating in this room this morning

Erik Darling

would you like to buy some cakes

Ginger

I said hi and then you accused me of not being the real ginger

Erik Darling

13:05

i have lots of empty boxes of cakes

Paul White

there it goes again

Erik Darling

they're free

Ginger

well I can always use more cardboard

Erik Darling

ignore paul, he thinks he's smart because he has a big calculator

lyxal

@ErikDarling so long as they're in 2nd normalised form

Ginger

13:07

what? I want irrational cakes only

lyxal

Trust me, you want your cakes normalised

one wrong move and all of a sudden you have insertion anomalys

Ginger

no, I want them irrational

for a very specific purpose

no further questions

Erik Darling

these cakes are purely imaginary

Ginger

no, I said irrational

Ginger

hmmm

Ginger

13:08

wait

an IMPOSTER!

lyxal, do something

lyxal

nope

Ginger

frick

lyxal

this is a result of your irrational cakes

Ginger

only one of us has the diamond of authenticity, buddy

Ginger

...

wait, how do yall know I'm not just his sock?

this could all be an elaborate ruse!

lyxal

13:09

SELECT DISTINCT userid FROM users WHERE name = 'Ginger' returns 26884

Ginger

12 mins ago, by Erik Darling

we get tons of gingers in here

Erik Darling

no true ginger would have to prove they're the true ginger

lyxal

@Ginger looks like you're the fake after all

I wasted a billion gingercoin on nothing

Ginger

there's a lesson for everyone there somewhere

Ginger

BLYAT

guess I'm a fake

I'll let real Ginger tell yall about trequel then

cya

Erik Darling

13:12

i think ginger was drunk

Ginger

Seemed p tipsy I agree

Anyway just another day of dealing with ginger nuts

heh

lyxal

well played

Erik Darling

next thing you know someone will be all like "hey i'm marvin remember me"

Ginger

so what I ostensibly came here for was to show yall trequel: a SQL-like database query language I came up with a few months back

here's an example: NUKE EVERY COOKIE OF COOKIES WHERE AGE OF COOKIE > 30

Erik Darling

i thought we were on cakes

what's all this cookie business

Ginger

13:18

you people distracted me

lyxal

@ErikDarling the kind of business you don't question.

Not if you know what's good for your databases. :p

Ginger

lyxal has strong feelings about cookies

Erik Darling

i got rid of all my databases

Ginger

so anyway

the syntax for accessing a property of an object is [propertyname] OF [object]

Erik Darling

how do i generate an invoice with it

Ginger

13:24

NEW INVOICE I guess

Erik Darling

pithy

where can i try it out

Ginger

you can't, not yet

I haven't implemented it

Erik Darling

imaginary language

Ginger

it's on my todo list tho q:

ypercubeᵀᴹ

is it relational?

Ginger

13:25

define relational

ypercubeᵀᴹ

Relational model

The relational model (RM) is an approach to managing data using a structure and language consistent with first-order predicate logic, first described in 1969 by English computer scientist Edgar F. Codd, where all data is represented in terms of tuples, grouped into relations. A database organized in terms of the relational model is a relational database. The purpose of the relational model is to provide a declarative method for specifying data and queries: users directly state what information the database contains and what information they want from it, and let the database management syst...

Ginger

hmm

yes

(I think, I'm not 100% sure I understand that article completely)

ypercubeᵀᴹ

@Ginger ok. so what are the differences with SQL?

Ginger

it's more pithy I guess

ypercubeᵀᴹ

besides using WHERE AGE OF COOKIE > 30 vs WHERE COOKIE.AGE > 30

Ginger

13:36

I'm trying to find the file that I wrote everything about it down in

Paul White

implement a database engine, understand the relational model later
it's a popular scheme

Erik Darling

that's the philosophy behind invoicedb

Paul White

also how would a cookie ever get that old

not in my house

Erik Darling

what if it falls in the couch cushions

Paul White

we have couchdb for that

Ginger

13:38

the database software for lazy people™

ypercubeᵀᴹ

and cockroachdb if it falls through the cushions ;)

Paul White

ugh

on a more positive note, it seems like a good idea to add trequel to cookies
assuming cookies = biscuits
ginger nuts are too hard

trequel would soften them up a bit I imagine

there, that's my contribution

Erik Darling

hey

i didn't see an invoice go out

Paul White

Erik Darling

13:55

"the original"

i'll see them in court

Zikato

@Ginger blockchain

Paul White

what ledger to believe that

Erik Darling

⚰️

Paul White

I wonder if that'll be as popular as Big Data Clusters

Which always sounded like a breakfast cereal to me

Similar expiry date too

2 hours later…

Erik Darling

16:00

well well well

4 hours later…

Hannah Vernon

20:26

Morning.

nope.

^that was a preemptive nope fyi

In other news, f*ck Kerberos

1 hour later…

jcolebrand

21:46

@JohnK.N. and @HannahVernon the issue is specifically "we added a non null no default value column in v2.1, so v1.8 [still running in the same environment] now breaks"

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