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03:27
@JoeObbish Cheers.
@McNets Mention them by name and link to their profile if you feel it is important. @ does not do anything in the body of a question or answer.
Also remember that answers are the best place to put answers. Referring to a comment means the reader needs to look somewhere else on the page. The best thing to do is incorporate the useful information in the comment into your answer, attributing it as required by the SE licence.
I have made an edit along those lines for you.
 
3 hours later…
06:16
@PaulWhite thanks.
 
2 hours later…
08:02
morning
08:16
morning
morning
08:38
morning
09:07
Noon
@TomV Is it noon for you?
@AndriyM almost, I suppose you're in the same timezone
09:22
@TomV It's 12:21 for me, I'm in UTC+3 (EEST). Are you in Eastern Europe currently?
no it's 11.21 here
I see
09:52
I had to notice that Cassandra, CQL specifically, applies the most surprise principle
guess what happens:
UPDATE users SET age = 99 WHERE email = '[email protected]';
(obviously, the email is not in the table. email is the primary key)
update all rows?
try harder
Will it update close matches?
it will actually insert that data, leaving the not mentioned columns NULL
and then all sort of other mind-boggling things that SQL people will possibly never understand
So UPDATE in CQL basically stands for UPSERT then. Perhaps they have a different keyword for updating only.
10:06
it is said that INSERT and UPDATE are the same - which is mostly true, except cases
in some cases, you cannot even use the INSERT syntax to add rows
and you can use lightweight transactions, adding IF EXISTS at the end of an UPDATE, to get the sane logic
and that's expensive
CQL = Confused QL
2
that
and this:
@dezso is there syntax for delete?
+1 for the joke @ypercubeᵀᴹ
3
Q: What is the difference between index secondary organization and index sequential organisation?

Marine1I know that databases based on sequential index organization are rather sorted and that primary index organization database are ordered too according to Siddhart Teotia on Quora whereas secondary index aren't. But are sequential index primary therefore ? And is it the sole difference with seconda...

@ypercubeᵀᴹ there is. It nearly works as expected, unless you delete from a counter table
I don't understand that question. For some, it made already sense, as it's at +3
10:15
@dezso and a reopen vote ...
maybe mentioning an actual product could help
I think it's more a theory question.
and he found the terms "primary index" and "secondary index" in some book
10:27
> This privilege allows you to view and cast close and reopen votes on your own questions.
10:42
When you read the article he linked to, I suppose he's asking for a (lengthy) explanation about the difference between clustered indexes and non clustered indexes. But as Mr Brownstone notes in the comments, he should point out what's not clear in the article. Any more explanation would either have to be RDBMS specific or a database design book
11:18
@TomV well, it is asked by a helicopter, so we can be happy it got so far
11:33
the JEAGL part: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marine_One is the helicopter carrying the US presidents (regardless of they make sense or not), while dba.stackexchange.com/users/86822/marine1 is the user asking this question, which also doesn't make sense
@dezso Well, at least the article does explain it at great length.
@ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells yeah, I outsourced the G part
@dezso Especially when the user describes him/herself as a midship which is confusing if you're a helicopter
11:49
@TomV you see it right. They are confused.
otherwise, a great portion of the terminology around aircraft comes from sailing. One can even see aircraft as ships. And then getting overboard on a helicopter starts not to be that dramatic.
@dezso Getting overboard on a helicopter sounds dramatic to me, unless you are wearing a parachute
12:30
@TomV It is a poor question that requires reading an external link just to understand what is being asked.
@PaulWhite Sure is, when I clicked the close button in the review queue I was informed the Q was already on hold but I agree it's a poor question
12:56
Sorry I meant that most/all questions of that type are poor.
13:06
@PaulWhite and the link may not be visible to all. Quora requires login to view I think. Or it allows only 1 page without login, something like that
Maybe. Not sure. Point is it's not really a question if part of it is elsewhere. Sort of disrespecting the audience as well. Not a fan.
I agree, it's one of the reasons I voted to close in the first place.
And the reopen review went well.
13:26
hello people
There goes the neighbourhood
2
@JackDouglas I was reading this meta question, and I wondered what licenses do you have in dbfiddle
18
Q: Edits that add OP's code from 3rd party site where the license is unavailable

BSMPI saw this edit review: http://stackoverflow.com/review/suggested-edits/16009815 The editor wanted to add code the OP had at http://rextester.com/ According to this answer we shouldn't be allowing people to edit code from jsFiddle into questions because: What the editor did is wrong, becaus...

@TomV I read that with the most british accent ever
@Lamak He's British. Probably licence to kill.
2
probably, but wanted to make sure
@ypercubeᵀᴹ Yes, but only with cutting, understated British snark.
13:34
@ypercubeᵀᴹ I bet @billinkc could do a nice 007 photoshop using Jack's foto
@TomV I still have nightmares about the one with @billinkc and @PaulWhite as kangaroos
You're not alone.
link please
@JoeObbish I'll try to find it
Meanwhile
user image
8
13:40
Crikey.
yet another reason default avatars are the best policy
I found this one, but the message wasn't in the original
wow
it's even worse than I imagined
also I updated my profile pic
although it needs some work imo
13:47
If it's the kangaroo pic you're getting banned.
mod abuse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Damn straight. Be nicer to the mods.
I'm very nice to the mods. I delete my comments like a good SE citiizen
That's true. Somewhat offset by your unnatural affinity for the default gravatar.
At least the new one is a small step in the right direction :)
well a baby kangaroo is a "joey", right?
that's very similar to my first name
as evidenced above, the risk is great
13:50
Hm. prepares orbital account nuking cannon
@PaulWhite Ooh, that's a good idea, I'll update mine
And you frequently hop into chat...
should propagate in a few minutes
@JoeObbish I know
@Lamak Who made it?
13:51
@TomV Is that... a joke ...?
@JoeObbish this @billinkc guy
@Lamak Too bad we can't give bounties for chat comments, right?
@PaulWhite Yes but it would have been ruined had I explained it before you rushed to check my profile page
@TomV Ah well I'm not sure I understand it.
points to room tags
@JoeObbish not yet
13:52
busy typing
Since you said you wouldn't be happy if anybody used that picture as a profile pic I pretended I changed my profile, in hopes at least a few people would rush to my profile page to see if I was for real. I deliberately waited a bit with the explanation in hopes some people would fall for it.
Excellent background. But why is it funny?
because making fun of mods is funny
hmmm
tough crowd here
I just updated my profile pic based on the kangaroo one
well, it was nice knowing you guys
13:55
I don't know if I tricked anyone, so I'm not sure it's really funny. It would have been a lot funnier if somebody posted back with "you had me there" but that didn't happen
@joe There are strict rules around
I will wait for the ban cannon
I have no regrets!
Tempted to kick (a small part of ban!) for using a small part of the image.
@JoeObbish The mods will make you roo the day you changed it
3
Good grief.
13:57
but it's pretty flowers :(
@JoeObbish that was pretty funny
nice to have one fan!
@Lamak How so?
I think Paul wants to give out negative stars right now
ok I changed it back
For the benefit of our wide readership, Forrest's pun was based on replacing "rue" with "roo" because the current (off) topic is kangaroos, and roo is a contraction of that.
13:59
Because @JoeObbish was suggesting that the change in his profile picture was more relevant to the kangaroos (and your involvement in it). But it turned out it was an innocuous part of the picture instead
Thanks.
@PaulWhite peagl
Will I get banned if my next sample data model in a question involves kangaroos?
@Forrest I took pity on your default avatar.
Forrest got a great default avatar
much better than mine
I'm a little envious
14:00
Man salmon beats orange every time.
man...salmon?
the diamonds are too big as well
@JoeObbish You'd be the first
@PaulWhite how many colours do you know?
But we could turn it into a meme :D
14:01
we could have a kangaroo tag
then it would be on topic
pretty sure that's how it works
ok real question
if someone is using triggers to do some processing based on before/after values
couldn't that in theory be replaced with the OUTPUT clause?
@JoeObbish oh, it was a real real question
hey man I don't joke around with questions
except when I do
I totally get it
@JoeObbish Potentially. The limits are pretty ... limiting though.
@PaulWhite Not doing anything fancy like INSTEAD OF triggers
Haven't worked much with this but reading docs. I think that I'm missing something. Any clues?
the one that I know of is you can do minimal processing on the OUTPUT rows before dumping them into a table, but that's fine
14:10
@JoeObbish They're mostly listed I think docs.microsoft.com/en-us/sql/t-sql/queries/…
Oh, all of those are fine
I mean they're fine for this case... I have run into irritating limitations of OUTPUT in the past in other contexts
Thanks!
But yeah in general such a scheme could work. Why the anti-trigger hate though?
@PaulWhite "anti-trigger hate" means he supports triggers?
@Lamak No that would be anti-(trigger hate).
14:15
it's MS that hates triggers
I'm just the victim
then what does anti-tigger hate actually means?
unfortunately, I think that Lamak got you there
thanks. But why is that unfortunate?
;)
I think the people who really like triggers are 3rd party developers that aren't fans of performance. Just my opinion ;)
@Lamak ;)
@PaulWhite you're doing it wrong...
(not you, but the connect)
@SeanGallardy Do you mean not following up? Or the request itself?
@JoeObbish The request itself
@Lamak That someone doesn't like tiggers? How did we get into the works of A.A. Milne?
"It would cause us to rewrite code" <--- well, we can't have you refactoring bad code and making it good now can we!
14:19
@PaulWhite What he's saying is that "why the trigger hate" would have been more natural
@SeanGallardy To be fair he didn't explain his use case, so we don't know for sure that he's doing it wrong
Maybe he's at the mercy of a third party
@JoeObbish Redundancy for emphasis. I'm more interested in his typo.
@PaulWhite trigger hate sounds good there....though I'm not a native english speaker, so
But being less fair, my natural inclination is to agree with you
> The wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is Tiggers are wonderful things
Their tops are made out of rubber
Their bottoms are made out of springs
@JoeObbish True, but then the 3rd party should fix it. I always LOL when people submit stuff and their rationale is "well the code has been working fine for the last 25 years, we shouldn't need to change it to work with new stuff"
14:21
We're currently using triggers in a few exceptional places for ETL into fact tables
@SeanGallardy Well to me MS is a third party ;)
Glad that I have your support!
@JoeObbish Well played sir, well played ;)
I remember when I could handle three parties in one day.
@PaulWhite Not. Even. Touching. That. One.
I don't have all of the details. But the use case here is basically updating what is a computed column that depends on a set of columns
14:23
When is really useful INSTEAD OF INSERT trigger? Just to ensure initial data values?
er, set of rows
On the other topic, it's a tough call to criticize someone on a site that can't even render CRLF correctly.
them's fightin' words
I never fight. I do win though.
@McNets Valid cases would be to validate input (though the APP should...), using distributed partitioned views, or any other unsavory action that needs to be stripped.
14:24
@PaulWhite how badass
@Lamak Yep that's me. See the roo foto.
Making non-updatable views updatable is the classic use case.
@PaulWhite Can you do the haka?
@JoeObbish pff, in his sleep
though IIRC, his sleep sometimes betray him
14:25
And if yes, do you do it before a big moderation spree?
@JoeObbish Do you own a gun?
Stereotypes of American people (here meaning US citizens) can today be found in virtually all cultures. They often manifest in America's own television and in the media's portrayal of America as seen in other countries, but can also be spread by literature, art and public opinion. Not all of the listed stereotypes are equally popular, nor are they all restricted towards Americans; and although most can be considered negative, a few actually assign neutral, positive or even admiring qualities to the stereotypical US citizen. Many of the ethnic stereotypes collide with otherwise unrelated political...
@PaulWhite Is that a stereotype? apologies if that was insensitive
@JoeObbish I'm hardly ever serious in this room.
I do like to take the piss though.
well
if we're being honest
@JoeObbish also, I don't remember a stereotype of australians doing a haka
14:27
I don't just own a gun
my guns own guns!
2
@JoeObbish :golf clap:
@PaulWhite WTF - one of the stereotypes is generosity? Have they met an American?
Well it is Wikipedia ;)
@PaulWhite Also, obesity isn't a stereotype.. it's a FACT!
But in my limited experiences in the US I'd say people were generally generous.
@PaulWhite Style points for alliteration!
14:32
Up arrow edits.
Sweet.
@PaulWhite Mind. Blown.
One of the few cool features of chat.
@PaulWhite Thank you for that info sir!
@SeanGallardy Maybe tipping?
@JoeObbish It's required?!
14:33
@Sean No worries. Always happy to help. Except when I'm in the mood to be a jerk of course.
@JoeObbish and the bees have guns too
Well it could give off the impression
Americans tip for everything!
They must be generous
Good point actually.
True, good point. We're so ingrained with it I guess... this is actually a very interesting non database topic... I like it!
14:35
@PaulWhite @SeanGallardy Thank you
@Lamak Far out.
Lorde was on TV tonight. She was talking about her first time in America when she left a coffee shop and the lady who served her rushed out almost in tears asking what she had done to upset her.
Like most NZers, she hadn't realized that tipping was a thing.
Lorde?
Ella Marija Lani Yelich-O'Connor (born 7 November 1996), better known by her stage name Lorde (pronounced /ˈlɔːrd/), is a New Zealand singer-songwriter and record producer. Born in Takapuna and raised in Devonport, Auckland, she became interested in performing as a child. In her early teens, she signed with Universal Music Group and was later paired with songwriter and record producer Joel Little, who has co-written and produced most of Lorde's works. Her first major release, The Love Club EP, was released commercially in March 2013. The EP reached number two on the national record charts in both...
I remember that I was quite annoyed with everyone expecting a tip in the US. The taxi driver, the guide from the tour, and so many other people
It's very confusing.
14:38
@Lamak I feel that I should be tipped for reading your chat comments
I spent a good portion of my tip trying to work out how much was appropriate and when.
@JoeObbish Shoot him.
@JoeObbish give me your paypal info :)
ok, you win this round
puts on sunglasses
no, Lamak won
so if anything you should take yours off
and give them to him
14:42
puts on second pair of sunglasses
I won in my mind.
@JoeObbish this feels good
@PaulWhite were we competing?
@Lamak you owe me a tip for that too
@Lamak Never.
Good grief I had forgotten how awful the theme tune for Enterprise was is.
@JoeObbish I know
@Lamak I agree - hair stylist, even! It's a sort of motivational tool - but I'm not a fan TBH. Having said that I generally tip 15-25%, there are times I've tipped 50-100%.
14:50
I think we'll be okay as long as PFEs don't start expecting tips
I often wonder how the DB A/dev world would go if we relied on tips.
@PaulWhite "Oh.. you want your database fixed first?! :looks at tip jar:... :looks up at user:
2
Perhaps I will propose on meta: no rep as standard, only bounties :)
@SeanGallardy Yeah ha ha!
when someone accidentally drops a table and I need to fix the problem I certainly feel as if I'm owed a tip
@JoeObbish I'm owed a lunch...
14:51
Here's a tip: don't drop your tables, idiot.
2
@PaulWhite Ba da Ba!
@JoeObbish It is interesting you should say that though... someone overwrote some information with a really nasty update statement and wanted to know what they should update it back to...
File this under things I never want to write again: SELECT * FROM sys.fn_dblog(null, null) where Operation = 'LOP_BEGIN_XACT' AND [Transaction ID] IN ('0000:00001906', '0000:000019a0', '0000:00001c19')
in my early days I dropped a table once by accident
but instead of bothering the DBA I fixed it myself
@JoeObbish ... and made it worse?
@SeanGallardy simple recovery model solves all problems
:(
@JoeObbish lol - it would have been a much easier conversation for sure... they might not have liked it - but I would have.
15:08
I blame @PaulWhite, I'm still on Wikipedia and no where near the link that started this... there goes my day.
15:19
@PaulWhite @JoeObbish fires with triggers, not guns ;)
I fire with the OUTPUT clause
@JoeObbish so limited
@ypercubeᵀᴹ @JoeObbish doesn't always fire tiggers, but when he does it's after triggers that post to a service broker queue with activated procedure that in turn fire the same after trigger.
add a CLR function in there that edits the registry
@JoeObbish LOL
15:35
bye
16:00
Firing tiggers... I think, that would be a spectacular thing to watch.
@ypercubeᵀᴹ I'm blaming you for that :p
@Lamak really good question, didn't think of it
any lawyers around? can I just put a notice on the site that says "by using dbfiddle you license all content BSD"?
@JackDouglas ah, so no licence to kill?
my boss insisted on getting extension 007 when we set up their VoIP system
mods have 'license to destroy' which I think sounds better
16:32
@Forrest i'd like the mods to make me roux
I can speak ru but I don't live in RU
 
1 hour later…
17:56
@JackDouglas hope you don't mind the photoshop joke
@MaxVernon I suppose with the question you answered the problem is actually caused by the runas breaking kerberos/SPN, but I'm no expert on the subject
Kerberos is a tricky bastard.
I fully expect my answer to be flagged as "not an answer"
Or maybe I misread the question, but I guessed the shift ctrl right click voodoo does just that, "runas"
You have the -3 badge yet? I can downvote if you want it :)
@JackDouglas buttons and links at top, great!!
@MaxVernon did it!
(joking)
@McNets No explanation?
/jk
Interesting times ahead, the room is turning into a fun place again, and some suspended guy is returning next week
18:11
@TomV, sorry, It was in reference to the desire of @MaxVernon about his answer.
@TomV runas and runas /netonly are different.
Ah, I'll need to read up on that then
I got a good one
SSMS 2016 won't install on my computer
which is bad because some query plans won't render
so I VM into the server and run SSMS there
how terrible is that?
Tempted to kick-mute for swearing
I will continue to commit crimes against sql server
you are powerless to stop me
18:15
Yesterday I RDP'd into a dev box where somebody left management studio open
they disconnected from prod in object explorer, but left some query windows open, a couple of which were still connected to prod
My heart skipped a beat
maybe I'll return a few million rows to the results grid
@JoeObbish hopefully with some xml columns in there for good measure
good idea
 
2 hours later…
20:13
Is there any vm appliance of MS Sql Server?
 
3 hours later…
23:02
@PaulWhite Thanks for the correction. Now that I look at my answer I'm unsatisfied with it. I feel like I'm missing a detail
Seems pretty good on my phone.
the c = 100 query doesn't use batch mode but it's still fast on SQL Server 2014
That's why it feels like I'm missing a detail. I'll look at it more later
I did do some serious work with CCIs and batch mode queries today and I'm alarmed at how little I know :)

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