The Heap™ – Consultancy ©® - 2022-11-04 (page 2 of 2)

Paul White

17:01

self-diagnosed

home clinic

Sean Gallardy

RIP MS Stock

Paul White

Take it private and fire everyone not adding value

bbaird

Do you really need to go private to get rid of the EF team?

Paul White

Couldn't hurt?

Not stonks

Josh Darnell

I made the mistake of looking at my year-to-date rate of return on my 401K yesterday.

Paul White

17:14

Yeah, don't do that

Josh Darnell

I had managed to avoid it all year, but I got some email that prompted me to log in to the website and there it was.

Front and center.

I should sue.

Sean Gallardy

I wouldn't look at it for at least another 2 years and 3 months

Josh Darnell

They should put a trigger warning on that thing.

Paul White

Sean Gallardy

Paul driving the scalpel in deeper

Erik Darling

17:16

i have two retirement accounts -- one with my bank that's a roll-up of all my past job accounts, and one SEP with e-trade. both of them are crime scenes.

Paul White

Erik Darling

i'm never retiring anyway

just die blogging

put "sent his final invoice" on my tombstone

2

bbaird

It's all fun money until I need to spend it

Paul White

That's from an account set to a "conservative" strategy

Conservation clearly means something different these days

Josh Darnell

There. That's better.

Paul White

17:21

ha ha ha

Anyway, I'm sure it'll all be fine in the end

Josh Darnell

Yeah, that's why I've tried not to worry about it too much. I know there are cycles with stuff like this, and I'm fortunate to be pretty far off from needing to use that money.

Paul White

Housing empire

All funded by ill-gotten EF gains

Hannah Vernon

wow I turn my back for an hour and all hell breaks loose

bbaird

It's so weird to look at the graphs and realize the 2000 dot com bust was... ridiculously small in comparison to the 08 housing market crash or COVID or whatever the heck this latest thing is (Ukraine? Long market COVID?)

Paul White

I wonder if the Romans had pension plans

Sean Gallardy

17:29

Soldiers did

You'll never expect the SPQR

Paul White

true

after the reforms, anyway

Erik Darling

i wonder if the romans had invoices

Hannah Vernon

I'm thinking they may have invented them

"No one ever expects Erik's Invoices"

Erik Darling

expecto invoicum

2

Hannah Vernon

Maybe it was the Spanish

isitservicebroker.com

Sean Gallardy

17:37

Love the changes!

Hannah Vernon

Thx

Sean Gallardy

I clicked multiple times, I didn't know if more messages would change.

Paul White

→ 1 message moved to Trash

J.D.

@SeanGallardy Men's league?...what position? 🙂

Erik Darling

fussy bottom

Sean Gallardy

17:47

@J.D. Men's D3/D4 (I'm not great), Played 11 that game

Hannah Vernon

@SeanGallardy I feel like I should add more

Sean Gallardy

I think you should, it's hilarious (to me, anyway)

J.D.

@SeanGallardy Cool cool. Currently play Men's too, mostly hooker / prop, or the back row 3 if I'm feeling saucy.

Sean Gallardy

@J.D. I am not big enough to play either of those positions :D

If I'm at 10, we already have problems

J.D.

Haha

The one place being overweight is a good thing.

Sean Gallardy

17:52

Our props are roughly 6'2" 270

J.D.

Nice, I'm only 5'9" and sitting around 230, so you can imagine the rest of the size of our pack lol

Sean Gallardy

Yeah I'm basically the smallest person on the team, 5'9" 153 lbs

J.D.

Been playing for a good 20 years though, so that helps compensate.

Sean Gallardy

You have the experience then

J.D.

Haha straight to wing for you based on that build.

Sean Gallardy

17:53

I've been playing for 2.5 years now

Yeah exactly

I don't really have a choice

J.D.

@SeanGallardy It's a great sport, most fun you can have with your clothes on, as they say...

Erik Darling

> #AzureDataStudio now natively supports you in analyzing #AzureSQL and
@SQLServer query performance and behavior by giving you full graphical access to a modern Execution Plan explorer.

Sean Gallardy

My only complaint is that I end up getting hurt frequently, mostly due to our drills

"Backs are going to only tackle forwards today"

@ErikDarling (mis)information? or they finally made it on par?

Erik Darling

definitely not up to par

Sean Gallardy

Then I get stepped on making the tackle, breaks my hand, dislocates my shoulder

Paul White

17:57

Dane Coles

Dane Stuart Coles (born 10 December 1986) is a New Zealand rugby union player who plays as a hooker for the Hurricanes in Super Rugby and Wellington Lions in the Mitre 10 Cup. Coles has also played international rugby for New Zealand's All Blacks since 2012. He was a key member of the 2015 Rugby World Cup winning team. He also Captained the Hurricanes to their maiden Super Rugby title in 2016. He was widely regarded as one of the best hookers in the world at the height of his career and was a nominee for World Rugby Player of the Year in 2016. == Playing career == === Early career === I...

J.D.

@SeanGallardy lol geez. I've had a few minor injuries, dislocations, tendon tears, etc. But nothing needing surgery so far luckily lol

Sean Gallardy

I didn't get surgery :)

Paul White

Local boy from my town. Hooker 6' 243lbs

J.D.

@PaulWhite Want to ship him here? Our scrum could use some weight. 😉

I'm pretty much the heaviest guy in there.

Erik Darling

@PaulWhite good neck

Sean Gallardy

17:59

> "scraps from an earth oven"

That's one name to name your town

J.D.

@ErikDarling I definitely can read that 2 ways...

Paul White

Quite often see him around

Erik Darling

you should compliment his neck

Sean Gallardy

@J.D. He is a hooker

bbaird

This whole chat is laced with undertones

J.D.

18:00

exactly lol

Paul White

@ErikDarling Yeah it's p solid

Hannah Vernon

@SeanGallardy it's updated again, although I need to polish my javascript skillz. Just like my Service Broker skillz apparently.

J.D.

@PaulWhite You an All Blacks fan yourself?

Paul White

@J.D. of course

J.D.

Cheers!

Sean Gallardy

18:01

@J.D. :D

J.D.

Too bad they dropped in the world rankings lately, they were holding it for quite a while.

Personally glad to see Ireland take #1 though. They're who I root for.

Paul White

Was all downhill after Ritchie left

Still a good side but not like it was

J.D.

Fair enough. Nothing like when Lomu was still around though eh? Those were some times.

Paul White

Yes that was very sad

J.D.

Yea unfortunate. He was quite a player. I think his legacy helped grow the rugby community further at the time.

Paul White

18:11

Images are so difficult on mobile

J.D.

lol

@SeanGallardy Actually, if you're not familiar, Lomu's a top winger you could learn from if you want to look up one of the greats. You probably won't ever match his size, but he had a lot of focus and heart too, was hard to stop. Like the rugby version of Marshawn Lynch (but classier) lol

Lamak

@J.D. you should root for chile

Paul White

@ErikDarling Happy Birthday;

3

Sean Gallardy

I'm clearly a terrible friend

J.D.

@Lamak oh yea, why so?

Sean Gallardy

18:18

Do Chileans root for Chile?

Lamak

@SeanGallardy of course, we are the best country in chile

@J.D. just because

J.D.

@Lamak ah I understand now haha

You guys are ranked pretty good, but USA is still a few seeds ahead of ya. 🙂

Pretty cool to see Japan in the top 10 though, they finally cracked the scene with that wildcard win over SA a few years back

Sean Gallardy

@Lamak 😂🤣

Paul White

Weird talking Rugby in Cricket season

Sean Gallardy

I generally root for (in order) Ireland->Wales->Scotland

swasheck

18:24

mmmm. cricket season

they're delicious

Sean Gallardy

@swasheck amazon.com/Mighty-Cricket-Vanilla-Protein-Powder/dp/B0886JKDYF/…

J.D.

@PaulWhite Rugby season here in the states, at least at the lower levels lol

swasheck

yeah

J.D.

Also I'm always down to talk rugby, it's 1 of 2 things I'm half decent at.

swasheck

so ... anyone here have the misfortune of working with sql server full-text search?

Sean Gallardy

18:27

I wouldn't call FTS working, but sure ;D

Lamak

@SeanGallardy time to add a third world country to your list

swasheck

what a horrible, horrible technology

Sean Gallardy

@Lamak I do, Wales.

swasheck

@Lamak southern us is a third-world country

Lamak

good point

Sean Gallardy

18:28

@swasheck Florida is a 0 world country

So awesome we're above #1

swasheck

confirmed. i grew up in florida

J.D.

@SeanGallardy 😂

bbaird

Well, you won't be above sea level too much longer

Sean Gallardy

FTS isn't being worked on, hasn't for over a decade. The team that worked on it is gone, it uses the old office wordbreakers and such, office has abandoned that for a decade or so.

bbaird

Poor wales, can't afford vowels

swasheck

18:30

@SeanGallardy any hits or tips or tricks for improving CONTAINSTABLE performance on a FTS column?

Sean Gallardy

swasheck

table cardinality is 48 million

:/

Paul White

Florida's main export is memes

Sean Gallardy

What's the FT Key column?

swasheck

nvarchar(max)

Sean Gallardy

18:33

ooof

swasheck

@SeanGallardy is this documented, by the way?

Sean Gallardy

@swasheck 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

You're hilarious

swasheck

cool. thanks

so i cant go to my developers and say, "please stop using this 💩 technology because
a) it's trash
b) it's no longer under active development"

they dont care about a) and b) is a rumor :D

Sean Gallardy

Yeah it's a rough point right now

The push is to get people to not use FT and use the Azure specific stuff

Paul White

Isn't the semantic similarity stuff etc p new?

Sean Gallardy

18:38

No idea

swasheck

so you're saying that an nvarchar(4k) column would be better than nvarchar(max) for query retrieval purposes?

Paul White

At least you're consistent

Sean Gallardy

@swasheck Generally we'd say to use a small width column for key columns as large ones tend to have perf issues. Normally join it to another table with the nvarchar(max) but use a bigint or something for the actual ft key

The FT query itself is implemented like a TVF

Erik Darling

@PaulWhite ;thanks

Sean Gallardy

There really aren't any knobs or buttons for FT

swasheck

18:43

ok. nevermind. i see what you're saying. full text key is INT but the full text index is on the nvarchar(max)

@SeanGallardy option (hope_and_a_prayer)

Sean Gallardy

@swasheck Ah, ok, yeah

That should be good then

Pretty much it's reduce what goes into FT then

Or ask FT to do less

J.D.

@ErikDarling It's really your birthday? Happy birthday dude!

Erik Darling

yeah

thank you

@SeanGallardy fewer

Sean Gallardy

Well happy happy birthday my friend!

@swasheck You can check some output using sys.dm_fts_parser and see if anything sticks out - like having too many matches

but yeah, other than that, not a whole lot I'm afraid

you might be able to send alcohol to Paul and get him to take a look

I hear Erik likes invoices

swasheck

if i'm going to ask paul or erik for help it'll be for a real problem and not for my devs shooting my customers in the feet

Josh Darnell

18:57

You could always switch to TRIGRAMS AND TRIGGERS.

Paul has already basically done the job for you.

bbaird

Trigrams and Triggers is my favorite ELP album

Josh Darnell

You're losing money by not doing it.

For the sake of JEAGL, I'm referring to Paul's article Trigram Wildcard String Search in SQL Server.

Maybe that's not a joke per se. There's nothing funny about replacing FTS.

swasheck

yeah. i prefer the trigram approach, personally, and have implemented it in personal text analysis projects. unfortunately, this is a poop sandwich that i need to make into nutella toast. @SeanGallardy gave me the clue i needed.

the offending search term is an email address and so the punctuation is breaking it into multiple tokens and searching on all of them. shocking that a table of 48M rows would have a lot of "com" in it for email addresses

J.D.

@swasheck Have you tried regex? 🙃

Erik Darling

19:12

replace FTS with elasticsearch

problem solved

swasheck

that's my suggestion, @ErikDarling

Erik Darling

roblem olver

Paul White

Different problem created

swasheck

rooby rooby rooooo

Erik Darling

20:30

Last week, Bank of New Zealand warned that “things could well and truly turn to custard”

Paul White

Very wise

Erik Darling

Turns to custard is about as good as going pear shaped

Paul White

Combine the two for a delicious dessert

Sean Gallardy

@swasheck Sweet, glad I pointed you somewhere that eventually helped :)

swasheck

20:49

pear-shaped custard?

Paul White

Poached pear with custard

Erik Darling

Red wine or brandy poached pears are pretty darn good

I think I had cognac once

With a ginger crème brûlée

Zikato

Happy birthday, Erik!

Vérace

21:12

A chairde - Morning all!

@ErikDarling All of those sound really good - am I'm not really a dessert man!

Like the expression "turning to custard" - I can't see Banc Ceannais na hÉireann using an expression like that though! Nor the Fed?

J.D.

21:47

Is it true explicit isolation levels (e.g. setting Snapshot Isolation) can be re-used in connection pooling?

(*within the same connection pool)

Erik Darling

@Vérace me either, my usual last course is cheese. But there’s a place near me that does red wine stewed prunes with mascarpone that I would eat out of my own skull.

Vérace

22:12

@ErikDarling Me too - j'aime le fromage qui sent la bouse de vache... the worse it smells, the better it tastes - Époisses is one of my favourites - or goat's cheese!

> I would eat out of my own skull.

Fairly rad dude!

Erik Darling

22:28

@Vérace hahaha, corpse cheese! I agree except for blue. Give me awful creamy stink but not hard stink.

Vérace

@ErikDarling There's one on my bucket list! :-)

And the bacteria that give cheese its "rich" aroma have also been associated with foot odour!

Blue can be a bit salty!

ypercubeᵀᴹ

@Vérace you are insane

Vérace

:-)

It's illegal - but can still be found apparently!

J.D.

oOo I've heard of that one. I love cheese too but not that much.. lol

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