@JackDouglas Should I yank the posts in this room discussing it?

@jcolebrand If we all start arguing about it, but I think that's unlikely in here. DBA has always been a lot more grown-up than SO

Morning'

Think I'm going to stop reading the news! Twitter's turned into a cess-pit too (I'm complicit in that, to some extent)

Anyway, how is everyone?

@jcolebrand No I think it's OK as it is. I only deleted my messages to avoid advertising the meta post.

@Philᵀᴹ Good thanks. Enjoying sunshine and a bit of a break

Really foggy here, again. Looking forward to spring!

@Philᵀᴹ Me too. I was much happier and productive from around 2012-2015 when I was almost fully disengaged from the politics-media outrage cycle.

One of the benefits is that when someone wants to talk to you about the news, you're hearing it for the first time instead of the hundredth.

@JamesLupolt you mean others start looking more interesting?

OTOH, a small victory is still a victory:

dba.stackexchange.com/q/162618/6219

(for 10k+)

@dezso Talking to other people gets more interesting and less tedious, I guess.

@JamesLupolt This is the kind of news that you can expect a hundred people to want to talk about, though :)

did Trump already banned the internet? it is very sleepy here today

yeah, very quiet

would you rather it be very very noisy?

because I can arrange that if you want

@ThomasWard hah, you Envoy of the Eternal Darkness

no no, it's diamond-powered Envoy of the Eternal Darkness

:P

(and obviously my English is deteriorating by the day)

nah, just kidding, just thought I'd break the silence :)

Tutorial D in the web: try.project-m36.io

Silence is meant to be broken sometimes :)

@ThomasWard it's a subset of all Envoys of the Eternal Darkness

be careful with DB people

:P

@ThomasWard that's very nice of you

@dezso hey, what better way to break the silence than suggest that it's easy to break silence :P

it sure did the job :)

genius

@dezso thanks

heh

@ypercubeᵀᴹ @AndriyM should flag that as not constructive :)

and triple NOLOCK:

WITH NOLOCK AS (SELECT SomeField FROM SomeTable)
SELECT * FROM NOLOCK NOLOCK (NOLOCK)

WITH NOLOCK AS (SELECT SomeField FROM tbl_NOLOCK)
SELECT * FROM NOLOCK NOLOCK (NOLOCK)

quadruple nolock and a tbl prefix ^^

I'll name my schema NOLOCK. That will make my queries use NOLOCK automatically, right?

@TomV My favourite flag is "obsolete".

Today was a good day, I managed to make an end user cry in public

Review list empty.You guys have been working. Or Trump did ban the Internet.

@ypercubeᵀᴹ There were only 2 posts to review when I checked

but @Philᵀᴹ is back

hope you have a video

@Lamak New code went live this weekend, end user complains a report isn't printing. I was the first technical consultant present so user asks me to check what's wrong. I reply "I think you missed some parameter setup needed for the new code". End user proceeds along the lines of "I didn't make a mistake, it must be a bug" and causes a scene. Developer responsible for the new code debugs and concludes "you missed some parameter setup, it's documented in the change request"

had the user just corrected the setup nobody would've known, now it caused a 2 hour outage with trucks missing the right legal documents and everybody found out about it

@TomV I like the "everybody found out about it" part

I had to do my best not to LOL

Insert the work NOLOCK into a song to make it more fun.

I really like the idea of a NOLOCK schema. I sense one could have a fair amount of fun with schema names.

Livin' La Vida NOLOCK - Ricky Martin

Mo Money Mo NOLOCK - Notorious B.I.G. obvs.

I wonder if you can remotely change someone's batch separator word in SSMS from GO to NOLOCK

Whitney Houston - I Will Always NOLOCK You.

sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Bob Marley - No NOLOCK No Cry

if you have a clustered index on a table and you want to leverage data compression, it should be sufficient to compress the CI only

and not the table itself, correct?

@swasheck Hi, is that your way of telling me to shut up? : ) Was that Polybase stuff any good to you?

@wBob yes. yes.

@swasheck What is your weapon (database platform) of choice?

sql server (2012 enterprise, for this system) ... my choice would be 2016 atm .

@swasheck How is there a difference between the CI and "the table itself" in that case?

@Forrest exactly. but i have a dev insisting that we compress the table

and not the CI

@swasheck the CI is the table.

@swasheck A dev. I might have spotted your problem.

lol

SO will ALTER TABLE [wBOB] REBUILD will rebuild the CI?

chess

oddly enough it will

i dont like the syntax

me either.

ALTER INDEX ALL ON NOLOCK.McNoLockFace REBUILD;

but, these two are identical:

CREATE TABLE dbo.SomeTable
(
	SomeTableID int NOT NULL
		IDENTITY(1,1)
		CONSTRAINT PK_SomeTable
		PRIMARY KEY CLUSTERED
		WITH (DATA_COMPRESSION = PAGE)
) ON [PRIMARY];

CREATE TABLE dbo.SomeTable
(
	SomeTableID int NOT NULL
		IDENTITY(1,1)
		CONSTRAINT PK_SomeTable
		PRIMARY KEY CLUSTERED
) ON [PRIMARY]
WITH (DATA_COMPRESSION = PAGE);

does all if there are more than one index

I guess you can challenge the dev to prove he's correct. A good lesson in demoing for evidence.

We could have the same fun with other SQL keywords, like NULL

eg Sinead O'Connor Nothing Compares 2 NULL

@wBob that's good material right there!

@wBob I nominate this (NOLOCK NOCRY) as the winner!

lol I need to load up Wikipedia all songs and cross join with NOLOCK, hmm.

@wBob polybase

@swasheck Yes

@TomV the review queue is my nemesis

@swasheck I have to go soon, want to cover something quickly?

@wBob no. was just suggesting you use polybase for querying wikipedia

to be funny

which i'm clearly not

@swasheck oh I see - you need to explain at greater length : )

the main site is so slow today.

@MaxVernon sql server sucks. it can't handle the load

@swasheck LOL clearly!

I meant slow as in "not very many visitors".

whatever dude.

@swasheck Hey Seth, I still think you're a cool dude

tyvm