The DMZ

Matthew

16:00

ive read couple intro books about pen testing, — Jokkepappa 1 min ago

What happened to grammar?

Simon

He has read a couple of books have pen testing and he doesn't know where to start.

wat

Mark Buffalo

@Matthew You're a couple intro books about pen testing.

@Simon Yeah, I think this is one of those special people. We call them "Clinton supporters."

Matthew

@MarkBuffalo I would hope so, yes. I've written a few articles about it, and lots of answers on here - got to be getting near a booksworth...

Mark Buffalo

I want to write a book

Matthew

@MarkBuffalo Is a Clinton supporter worse than a Trump supporter?

Mark Buffalo

16:03

"Penetration Testing for Dummies. With a foreword by @kalina"

@Matthew Infinitely

silverpenguin

@MarkBuffalo if you wrote a book and it wasnt naff and 2 pages long I would probably think about buying it

Rоry McCune

@Matthew grammar, as a pen. tester... why would you need that? It's not like you need to write comprehensible business reports on a regular basis.... oh

RoraΖ

@silverpenguin "I want to hack the planet, how do I do that?"

Mark Buffalo

@silverpenguin Naff?

silverpenguin

@RoraΖ by doing so young monk

Mark Buffalo

16:06

@RoraΖ This is actually a lot easier than you think

Matthew

@RоryMcCune Last year, I think I wrote about 4 novel's worth of reports!

RoraΖ

@MarkBuffalo I'd like to watch you hack the planet Mark :)

silverpenguin

@MarkBuffalo english for bad i guess

Rоry McCune

@Matthew I shudder to think how many pages of reports I write in a year, but yeah that sounds about right...

Matthew

@RоryMcCune I wasn't on that many jobs. One of the novels was a single report though. Big job...

Mark Buffalo

16:08

@Jokkepappa I recommend The Norton Field Guide to Writing, with Readings — Mark Buffalo 6 secs ago

added one more book :->

Matthew

That book seems expensive...

Mark Buffalo

They're both worth it.

Unless you're a complete buffoon, they'll teach you all about proper grammar, and how to write and compose your thoughts better than a 2nd grader.

silverpenguin

@MarkBuffalo but what if you are a complete buffoon like my self?

Mark Buffalo

Then... uh.... try again?

RoraΖ

@MarkBuffalo But not better than a 3rd grader? Ripoff

Mark Buffalo

16:14

@RoraΖ I DIDN'T SAY IT WAS PERFECT

silverpenguin

@MarkBuffalo when does your book come out. write it for people like me TY

Mark Buffalo

hmm. so apparently I created something that was finished $100k under budget

saving 100k.

silverpenguin

do you get to pocket it?

RoraΖ

@MarkBuffalo You still need to spend that money though, otherwise the next contract will just be less money. And you'll HAVE to do it under budget.

Mark Buffalo

@RoraΖ we don't do that here

silverpenguin

16:23

@MarkBuffalo i hope you get a bonus for the savings

RoraΖ

19 secs ago, by silverpenguin

@MarkBuffalo i hope you get a bonus for the savings

Mark Buffalo

I think the best thing to do is saved budget surplus for the next run(s) in case anything funky happens

Ohnana

that awkward moment when two monitors aren't enough for everything you need to see at once

Mark Buffalo

@Ohnana I really want a 4k monitor to code with

silverpenguin

@Ohnana they wont let me have 3 at work, even though there are 7 spare -_-

Mark Buffalo

16:25

currently using 1x 1920x1080, and it's like going back to the middle ages :P

silverpenguin

@MarkBuffalo want to see that text in 4k res?

Ohnana

i only have the equipment for two monitors at the same time

silverpenguin

my mac is a 4k screen, but at work my mac has 2 x 1080 monitors

Simon

Brag about it.

David Freitag

@silverpenguin yeah I bet you paid $2131298234 for that mac too

silverpenguin

16:27

@DavidFreitag I got given it for free

Simon

dovid pls

David Freitag

@silverpenguin Workstation?

silverpenguin

@DavidFreitag disabled

David Freitag

@silverpenguin That's... not what I meant.

silverpenguin

@DavidFreitag no thats why i got given my 4k mac because im disabled and they gave it to me in my final year of study at uni

my mac at work is obviously my work station

David Freitag

16:29

@silverpenguin Ooooh I see

Mark Buffalo

How can I become disabled for a free mac?

Simon

@silverpenguin What kind of disability?

David Freitag

@MarkBuffalo I'll get a lead pipe

silverpenguin

@MarkBuffalo vaccinations

Mark Buffalo

@silverpenguin IM DYING AT WORK

David Freitag

16:30

@Simon I was gonna ask but I didn't wanna be a dick

Mark Buffalo

THAT WAS UNEXPECTED ROFL

silverpenguin

@Simon autism

Simon

@DavidFreitag I'm curious, I don't wanna be a dick.

@silverpenguin Ah, I see.

Mark Buffalo

@silverpenguin You have autism? And I mean that in a curious, genuine way. Not in a World of Warcraft way.

silverpenguin

@MarkBuffalo yes i do :) i dont mind talking about it i accept its who i am and its nice when people take interest

Mark Buffalo

16:31

...because of vaccinations, you have autism?

are you trolling us?

silverpenguin

@MarkBuffalo no that was a joke xD

David Freitag

There's a guy on the Arduino developers mailing list whose last name is "Bieber"

Simon

lulz

silverpenguin

@MarkBuffalo I am autitic

@MarkBuffalo but not vaccinations

Mark Buffalo

@silverpenguin You had me laughing so hard... anyway, I don't see how you have autism. You seem as normal as the rest of us... wait a minute.

silverpenguin

16:31

autistic*

David Freitag

@silverpenguin Is that like a disease where you grow boobies?

Simon

wot

silverpenguin

@DavidFreitag no but i have that too

Simon

re_wot

David Freitag

@silverpenguin Nice ( ͡◉ ͜ ʖ ͡◉)

silverpenguin

16:32

@DavidFreitag no touch

David Freitag

@silverpenguin Not even one quick motor boat?

Simon

wots

silverpenguin

@MarkBuffalo its mostly social awareness and weirdness, and learning @DavidFreitag ok just one

Mark Buffalo

0

A: What leaked mass surveillance capabilities have not been explained by vulnerabilities we have learned about since 2014?

pictures of your mom's cunt!!!!

3

David Freitag

AWWW YISS

Simon

16:33

loooooool

Mark Buffalo

im dying of laughter

Barry Carlyon

haha

Mark Buffalo

im choking

still have to downvote it

David Freitag

@MarkBuffalo Halfway on your road to being disabled

Simon

dovid pls

Mark Buffalo

16:34

laughing so hard I can

can't stop

David Freitag

@MarkBuffalo You just can even?

silverpenguin

sounds like mark is having a good few minutes of laughter

AviD

@MarkBuffalo @Simon that is inappropriate.

And completley false.

Mark Buffalo

i can't breathe

Simon

Why are you involving me in this?

Matthew

16:35

I think we have to flag that by room rules...

silverpenguin

@Simon it was probably your fault

David Freitag

@Simon You're the standard scapegoat.

Simon

@silverpenguin That's always what ovid thinks.

Ohnana

@Matthew answer's gone

so meh

AviD

@Simon dunno, just seems like something you would do.

Matthew

16:35

@Ohnana No, room flag...

AviD

@DavidFreitag or this.

Simon

-.-

Matthew

You know, zerg rush of mods from all over SE...

David Freitag

@Matthew We'll have to break your knees if you do that.

Ohnana

i dunno, is that directed at another chat user?

David Freitag

16:36

The modswarm will smell the blood and take you out, you know like sharks.

Simon

@Matthew SCV rush >

Matthew

...put the whole room in timeout...

Ohnana

idk if that flag would be validated, seeing as it only exists in the one-box cache

Matthew

...funky countdown animation...

Ohnana

everyone else would be like "EHHHH what"

David Freitag

16:37

@Matthew No, @AviD will do that

Matthew

...recrimination...

Simon

...says he put it on a timeout for 60 seconds when it was 120...

David Freitag

@Ohnana Would the message even show up for them, or would they just get the link?

Matthew

...all out war between local mods and remote ones...

Simon

Pesky remote mods.

Matthew

16:38

...World War 3...

Ohnana

@DavidFreitag just the link, which redirects to the question

at least i think so

Mark Buffalo

@AviD I know, so I downvoted and flagged it... but I literally laughed for 10 minutes

David Freitag

Can a mod kick another mod?

Ohnana

flag science is dangerous science

Matthew

...Nuclear zombie apocalypse...

Simon

16:38

@MarkBuffalo You posted it 4 mins ago you mong.

Mark Buffalo

IM STILL LAUGHING

Ohnana

@Simon he had a 6 min head start

Mark Buffalo

why am I so immature today?

Matthew

...end of the world as we know it...

David Freitag

@Simon It was so mind-bendingly funny that he traveled in time.

Simon

16:38

@DavidFreitag Whoa.

David Freitag

@MarkBuffalo Did you get some this morning?

AviD

@MarkBuffalo you should blame @Simon.

Simon

ffs

Mark Buffalo

@DavidFreitag last.. wait, I don't talk about this.

Matthew

..all @Simon's fault...

Simon

16:39

#me

AviD

@DavidFreitag cmon man, seriously?

David Freitag

@MarkBuffalo Well there's your problem

Mark Buffalo

@DavidFreitag night.

AviD

go ahead and edit that yourself.

David Freitag

@AviD I meant breakfast, what did you mean? Breakfast is the most important meal of the day doncha know

AviD

16:40

hmm.

Mark Buffalo

but yeah, I don't feel like talking about stuff like that

Simon

Yeah man ovid wtf it was all legit and you're all like "u wot sex m8"

AviD

@Simon Somehow, I highly doubt I was like that.

I do not speak like that. Ever.

Simon

That's what you think.

David Freitag

@AviD Yeah, breakfast in bed ( ͡◉ ͜ ʖ ͡◉)

Mark Buffalo

16:40

@AviD I like you

You're a goody two-shoes... I need you to ground me more.

AviD

@MarkBuffalo u wot m9

Simon

Markus always hits on the mods and pornu.

David Freitag

@MarkBuffalo I was only kidding anyway, relax.

Ohnana

@AVID IS A DIRTY OLD MAN :U

4

AviD

@MarkBuffalo hahahaha WHAT

David Freitag

16:41

@MarkBuffalo Kinky.

Mark Buffalo

@AviD I think that came out wrong, because DMZ

Matthew

REPCAP!

Mark Buffalo

I find that you are a great presence to keep me grounded?

Simon

CAPREP!

Mark Buffalo

....sigh

never mind

Ohnana

16:42

avid the disciplinarian

David Freitag

@MarkBuffalo That hole you're standing in? It's just getting deeper.

AviD

@MarkBuffalo possibly, but me being a goody 2shoes is funnier than that answer with the pictures of @Simon's mom.

Simon

.

Mark Buffalo

@AviD And that answer is already explained by the Snowden leaks, so he's wrong.

AviD

@DavidFreitag okay seriously I think we should all stop talking about @Simon's mom.

David Freitag

16:42

@Ohnana I was going to say. If anything it's David the Disciplined

Simon

.

AviD

@MarkBuffalo well there was that Apple leak a year and a half ago, the celebrity pictures....

Ohnana

@Simon ‽

Mark Buffalo

@AviD Yea, but Snowden says the NSA has your thing pics.

David Freitag

@AviD Ew you're not supposed to... stand in it... your shoes will get all slippery

AviD

16:43

@MarkBuffalo no no, thats the TSA.

Mark Buffalo

And they record people on webcams, etc., and share the photos amongst each other

Matthew

Why is there a rep cap anyway?

Simon

@Ohnana exclamation-question-mark-ception

Mark Buffalo

@Matthew So you can have a life outside of SE

AviD

@Matthew so that you are forced to go do something useful.

Simon

16:44

Because pornu would overflow the freaking field if there was no limit.

David Freitag

@Simon Well him and the skeetster

Simon

@DavidFreitag og;dc about dat guy

He's a massive nurd.

David Freitag

@Simon Says the PHP programmer

Simon

wtf.php

silverpenguin

@DavidFreitag whats wrong with PHP ?

2

David Freitag

16:45

@silverpenguin Literally everything

silverpenguin

@DavidFreitag my z3 says PHP is awesome :<

Barry Carlyon

Here we go again…

Simon

@silverpenguin Duuuuuuuuuuuuuude.

silverpenguin

they see me rollin they hatin

Mark Buffalo

<= #4 all time reputation lost on secse

David Freitag

16:46

@silverpenguin Not hate, more like very confused.

Mark Buffalo

44.5% of all rep lost :(

AviD

@DavidFreitag you're forgetting @Gilles.

silverpenguin

@DavidFreitag it was not meant to make sense, but seriously i am a PHP developer if i had kids PHP would feed them

@DavidFreitag my argument is invalid but i dont care

Mark Buffalo

data.stackexchange.com/security/query/84763/…

David Freitag

@MarkBuffalo WE DON'T CARE

Mark Buffalo

16:47

look at how much @ThomasPornin lost :O

64,115 rep lost

That's insane

@silverpenguin u wot m8

@DavidFreitag FINE

Simon

@DavidFreitag rekt

silverpenguin

@MarkBuffalo D: what ... i just saying I am a PHP developer and i love my PHP

Simon

pls pengueen

David Freitag

@silverpenguin Just because you like PHP doesn't mean it's not completely and totally awful.

silverpenguin

@DavidFreitag correct

@Simon you dont like PHP?

Mark Buffalo

16:50

PHP isn't all that bad. It's a good tool to get things done, for reasons.

Simon

@silverpenguin eev.ee/blog/2012/04/09/php-a-fractal-of-bad-design

David Freitag

@MarkBuffalo No, it's not a good tool

silverpenguin

im moving into python slowly to complment my desire for pen testing

Mark Buffalo

@DavidFreitag And why not?

David Freitag

18 secs ago, by Simon

@silverpenguin https://eev.ee/blog/2012/04/09/php-a-fractal-of-bad-design/

silverpenguin

16:50

@Simon i cant trust your links

David Freitag

Just a few reasons ^^

silverpenguin

you have hurt me before

Simon

@silverpenguin hehehe

David Freitag

@Simon Did you link him something naughty?

Mark Buffalo

@Simon tldr: shit devs are shit. Same with any language

Simon

16:51

@DavidFreitag My superlogout redirect.

David Freitag

@Simon :|

Ohnana

@Simon so evil

put a link to it on your resume

Simon

pls It wasn't specifically directed to him.

David Freitag

@Ohnana hahahaha

Ohnana

>:)

fuck with some recruiters

Mark Buffalo

16:52

The only reason I use PHP is because my shit web host is using it

David Freitag

@MarkBuffalo #DO4Lyfe

Simon

^

Mark Buffalo

@DavidFreitag Costs money to switch like 15 domains

silverpenguin

I didnt realise I would need an umbrella in the DMZ today

Simon

wot

silverpenguin

16:53

because everyone is shitting on my life

xD

Mark Buffalo

I want everything all in one spot

Simon

o

It's fine, I forgive you for the shitty tires.

David Freitag

@MarkBuffalo you have 15 domains? Jesus

Simon

Don't go too fast with them though.

Matthew

@MatthieuM, why wouldn't I trust a browser I've compiled from the source code? — アレックス 49 secs ago

David Freitag

16:54

Speaking of going fast, I followed a Hellcat Challenger to work this morning.

And all I have to say is hnnng

Mark Buffalo

Okay, PHP is crap anyway

@Matthew vulns?

Thinking of creating an ASP.NET/C# CMS

because I hate wordpress/etc, so badly

Simon

Then go with Mezzanine.

Matthew

@MarkBuffalo I don't think this guy gets that "can compile" != "is not evil"

silverpenguin

@MarkBuffalo I built my own CMS because i hated CMS's i then used that CMS as my dissertation xD

Transcript for