The DMZ

Mark Buffalo

21:00

ah, ok

David Freitag

Yeah I still got the non-prohibited stuff

Adi

It had two very small bottles of novelty alcoholic drinks

David would have used them to create a super stealthy bomb

so that's why the U.S. customs prevented them from entering U.S. soil

David Freitag

@Adi canadapost.ca/tools/pg/manual/PGnonmail-e.asp

Rоry McCune

The Trouble with Transporters

►

metaphysical thought and star trek...

Adi

I liked that video a lot!

Rоry McCune

21:02

@Adi yeah especially the bit right at the end "Still here... you can't stay awake for ever!"

Adi

Well, in the context of the Star Trek world, it was quite physical

Ohnana

7 hours ago, by Ohnana

@AviD if you place the knot out of reach, it doesn't matter how tight it is :>

David Freitag

@Ohnana I don't get it.

Ohnana

@DavidFreitag we were making abduction jokes and mine got starred :<

David Freitag

@Ohnana Yeah I still don't get it. Probably because I can't be bothered to read the transcript.

@Adi It looks like most countries prohibit sending alcohol over country lines

Rоry McCune

21:08

@DavidFreitag come to Europe, we're sane :op

Mark Buffalo

s/sane/drunk

David Freitag

@RоryMcCune Sure, you going to pay for my ticket?

Rоry McCune

@DavidFreitag lol you should get a gig with a nice IoT SF start-up then you'll be flyin' first class all the way :op

David Freitag

@RоryMcCune Or better yet just get a job in europe somewhere and become an expat

Rоry McCune

@DavidFreitag true true

blogs.microsoft.com/blog/2016/03/07/… <-- dafuq MS-SQL Server on Linux (that'll solve your perf. problems I'm sure @AviD )

David Freitag

21:12

Cheapest I could fly to London is $300

Mark Buffalo

@RоryMcCune Lovely

I like this idea

David Freitag

LOL

$300 for a 39 hour total travel time

2 hour flight to Toronto with a 6 hour layover, then a 4 hour flight from Toronto to Calgary with a 19 hour layover, then finally a 9 hour flight from Calgary to London

I would kill myself

Iszi

@Ohnana Dude, that's nothing to do with abduction. That's just BDSM 101. Well, 102 I suppose. 101 is CONSENT!

David Freitag

@Iszi No, 101 is safety word

Ohnana

7 hours ago, by Ohnana

IF YOU'RE DOING WEIRD SEX STUFF MAKE IT 100% CONSENTUAL kthx

Iszi

21:17

@DavidFreitag That falls under "CONSENT, revocation of".

David Freitag

@Iszi No, that's "stop I'm starting to bleed internally"

Ohnana

@DavidFreitag if you've gotten to that point then something's really wrong

Iszi

@DavidFreitag Stop == I no longer consent for you to do the thing I previously agreed to allow you to do to me.

Ohnana

like, that's a crush injury

not an impact injury

Iszi

Seriously, if they're calling "Red" you're (usually) doing it wrong.

Ohnana

21:20

i mean, it's not always your fault

Mark Buffalo

@Ohnana What about if you're doing normal stuff?

David Freitag

@Iszi No, it's not "red" it's "Pineapples"

Mark Buffalo

I think consent should be in all cases, even if it's normal

Ohnana

someone last night didn't wait long enough after eating, and then decided to go upside down

David Freitag

@Ohnana :x

Mark Buffalo

21:21

............uh

Ohnana

needless to say, they learned a valuable lesson in patience

Mark Buffalo

I'm puking

Is that "someone" you?

David Freitag

@Ohnana That's like going swimming just after eating

Iszi

@DavidFreitag All depends on where you play. A lot of public spaces prefer - if not insist - that you use standardized safe words so the DMs can know when they should come assist.

Ohnana

@MarkBuffalo no, i was bringing the trash can over

@Iszi our party does this. liability.

David Freitag

21:22

@Iszi DM? You do BDSM with your DnD crew?

2

Mark Buffalo

That's some freaky-level Dungeons and Dragons right there.

Iszi

Scratch that.

Ohnana

@MarkBuffalo very true. consent is good for anytime you're touching another person. informed consent, patient consent, etc.

Iszi

DM in BDSM public play spaces is usually "Dungeon Monitor".

Mark Buffalo

dunno why

David Freitag

21:23

@MarkBuffalo I honestly wouldn't know.

Ohnana

@MarkBuffalo and that's your prerogative

Iszi

@DavidFreitag Sounds like fun. Not with my D&D crew, mind you - we're back to the sausage-fest bit then. But fun otherwise.

David Freitag

@Iszi What DnD group isn't a sausage fest?

Ohnana

@MarkBuffalo and that's why i ask before touching

i'm kinda the same way

Mark Buffalo

also, removing because lol

Iszi

21:24

@DavidFreitag I've played with a few gals. Couple of them actually kinda hot - and not just "for D&D girls".

David Freitag

@Iszi Sure sure

Rory Alsop

Hello evening dwellers

David Freitag

It's a mod! Quick scatter!

Iszi

@RoryAlsop STFU. Work day's not even over yet.

DMZ Canonical Time, damnit!

David Freitag

whistles innocently

Mark Buffalo

21:26

@RoryAlsop good evening, my Dauphin

Ohnana

HI RORY TOTES NOT TALKING ABOUT INAPPROPRIATE STUFF NOOOO SIR

Iszi

@MarkBuffalo Wait... are you claiming to be @RoryAlsop's father? I thought that wasn't possible? Nobody's older than him!

David Freitag

Yeah, we were talking about Bilateral Defence Strategy Marketing.

Mark Buffalo

No, he is my Dauphin, as in my leader. The leader of my cult. Ah, never mind... this one flew over your head or something

stares at the corner again

Rory Alsop

Ahhh - too much transcript to catch up on

David Freitag

21:28

ehem. Yeah, nothing ~~bad~~ inappropriate happened anyway.

Rory Alsop

I'm going to assume it was all good, we've solved security and I can go to the beach

:-)

TildalWave

to the beach? In this weather?

you're disposing of a body? :O

Iszi

@RoryAlsop Y'all have beaches that far from the equator? How do you go swimming in a parka?

David Freitag

@Iszi That "y'all" made me vomit a little.

Iszi

@DavidFreitag Problem?

David Freitag

21:31

@Iszi Yes I'd like to not vomit a little ever

Mark Buffalo

secretly hacks @RoryAlsop while he's swimming

Iszi

@DavidFreitag Y'all must not come 'round the south much.

David Freitag

@Iszi Ok, now you're responsible for cleaning up that mess.

Iszi

@DavidFreitag I'm not puttin' on a heavy coat and flyin' up that for inta' Yank terr'tory just 'cause y'all can't hold in yer lunch.

Nate Kerkhofs

I'm surprised that we don't yet have a question to ridicule the joke that is "Cyber Pathogen"...

David Freitag

21:34

@Iszi dude it's like 15°C out

Iszi

@NateKerkhofs s/ Pathogen//

@DavidFreitag C??? Y'all must not even be 'merican!

David Freitag

@Iszi Most unamerican american that has 'murican'd

Nate Kerkhofs

We might be able to discuss what a Cyber Pathogen might be

Mark Buffalo

@NateKerkhofs You're a Cyber Pathogen.

Nate Kerkhofs

Or would that be more suited for Worldbuilding?

David Freitag

21:35

@NateKerkhofs Sorry I have an extension that changes every instance of "Cloud" and "Cyber" to "Butt" are you saying one of those words?

Mark Buffalo

rofl

Nate Kerkhofs

Yeah, I'm saying the Cy-word

Iszi

@NateKerkhofs Didn't WoW have a case of that once? Or was it EQ?

David Freitag

Because I don't think you really mean to talk about a Butt Pathogen

Mark Buffalo

Now I know why you laughed when I talked about a Cloud-based program, David.

Nate Kerkhofs

21:36

Yeah, WoW had the corrupted blood incident back in 2007, I think

David Freitag

@MarkBuffalo Yeah those Butt-based programs, huehuehue

Mark Buffalo

and I kept talking about things "in the cloud"... oh my goodness

David Freitag

@NateKerkhofs wat

Nate Kerkhofs

At least you didn't go "what what, in my cloud"

Mark Buffalo

@NateKerkhofs Hakkar.

David Freitag

21:36

@MarkBuffalo wat

@NateKerkhofs ( ͡◉ ͜ ʖ ͡◉)

Iszi

Damn, ninja'd.

Nate Kerkhofs

@DavidFreitag A really contagious spell managed to escape the boss arena and killed thousands of innocent players in capital cities

Mark Buffalo

@DavidFreitag There was a disease in the game, "World of Warcraft," called "Corrupted blood." It would spread to other players if not correctly handled. Well, some guys hearthed back to Orgrimmar/Stormwind (main capital cities for each faction), and murdered the entire server.

David Freitag

@MarkBuffalo Yes I know what WoW is

Nate Kerkhofs

It was actually a pretty good thing

Iszi

21:37

@NateKerkhofs They had to completely reboot a couple worlds to cure that or something, didn't they?

Mark Buffalo

I would drag Thunderaan to Orgrimmar

David Freitag

@MarkBuffalo LOL cause dieing is really a bad thing in WoW

Mark Buffalo

[THUNDERFURY, BLESSED BLADE OF THE WINDSEEKER]

Nate Kerkhofs

Because it allowed epidemiologists to check their models for the spread of deadly diseases

And it was accurate

you had the main cities being abandoned

David Freitag

I wonder if something like that happened to EvE

Nate Kerkhofs

21:39

@DavidFreitag eve doesn't need a disease for players to ruin each others

David Freitag

Speaking of which since I have been moving I haven't touched eve in days

Iszi

@NateKerkhofs Yeah, cause cyber-cities are totally exactly like real cities.

Nate Kerkhofs

You had people intentionally spreading the plague

Mark Buffalo

@Iszi The spread model is pretty similar

TildalWave

@NateKerkhofs it causes arteriosclerosis of the series of tubes?

David Freitag

21:39

@Iszi Woah there are cities on your butt?

Iszi

@DavidFreitag I'm sure Adam's happy about that.

Mark Buffalo

Also, I liked to hearth back with burning adrenaline, run into the auction house, and put the horrifying murder on everyone

David Freitag

@Iszi Nah he likes to watch

Iszi

@DavidFreitag I didn't say they were mine. I don't even play WoW.

Mark Buffalo

burning adrenaline -> astral recall -> auction house

David Freitag

21:40

@Iszi Yeah but you said butt-cities

Iszi

Huh. It just now hit me that you've made a whole new meaning for the term cybersex.

David Freitag

@Iszi (◕ᴥ◕)

Nate Kerkhofs

surprise cybersecks

Mark Buffalo

cloud's ex girlfriend

Iszi

@DavidFreitag Again, didn't say they were mine.

David Freitag

21:41

@MarkBuffalo You played on PvP servers or something?

Simon

@DavidFreitag clouderfly

David Freitag

Also I thought debuffs and stuff like that were only transmissible to raid/party?

Iszi

Cyberstalking

Mark Buffalo

@DavidFreitag Yeah, and I used to go to RP servers to beg for gold... people would come up and give me gold. I left because it creeped me out that I had a cult following for my "performance."

David Freitag

@Simon 'dat butafly

Iszi

21:42

@DavidFreitag 'dat butt-afly

Nate Kerkhofs

Please don't play Final Fantasy VII, @Iszi. You're going to be so disappointed every time someone mentions the name of the main character

David Freitag

@MarkBuffalo Public mastubration is only cool when it's not

TildalWave

@NateKerkhofs Cy... anide?

Iszi

@NateKerkhofs Never really played, but yeah - I was trying to come up with something for that.

@TildalWave No. Cyber-cyanide, yeah.

If there was such a thing.

Nate Kerkhofs

@Iszi Because honestly, I can't take CIoud Strife seriously if his name was changed into Butt Strife

David Freitag

21:43

@Iszi woah butt-cyanide? Is it just as deadly but smells horrifying?

TildalWave

@Iszi cyanogenmod?

Iszi

@DavidFreitag No, cyanide suppositories.

Nate Kerkhofs

@DavidFreitag Yeah, it leaves a cloud of cyber pathogens

Iszi

@NateKerkhofs A butt of butt pathogens?

David Freitag

@NateKerkhofs OH GOD NOT A BUTT OF BUTT PATHOGENS

Mark Buffalo

21:44

Cloud-to-cloud lightning is fun.

Also, cloud-to-ground lighting is pretty cool.

Nate Kerkhofs

Okay, let us butt heads below the cyber clouds, okay

David Freitag

Anyone reading this transcript later is going to be totally confused.

Iszi

Beavis and Cyber-Head?

Nate Kerkhofs

Tip: one of those butts is actually a butt

David Freitag

@Iszi Beavis with a tattoo of a butt with a tattoo of a but on it. On his butt.

Iszi

21:45

Oh, new meaning to "iCloud".

Nate Kerkhofs

@DavidFreitag cloudception?

David Freitag

@Iszi huehuehue iButt

@NateKerkhofs There's nothing new about buttception. They made a series of movies about that

Iszi

Then, those commercials Microsoft ran a couple years ago... "To the cloud!"

Nate Kerkhofs

@DavidFreitag I would watch those, but I'm worried I might get my computer a cyber pathogen

Iszi

@DavidFreitag Rule 34, right? If it exists, there is porn of it... in the cloud.

David Freitag

21:47

@Iszi cough human centipede cough

Iszi

@DavidFreitag Oh, dear. I haven't even seen that and... screw you.

Mark Buffalo

Developers developers developers developers developers developers developers developers developers developers developers developers developers developers developers developers

David Freitag

@Iszi :P

Iszi

Two girls one cup! From the cloud!

David Freitag

@Iszi Oooh my favorite! (things like that don't phase me)

silverpenguin

21:48

@MarkBuffalo i am a developer here to save the day....what

Nate Kerkhofs

Okay, this is going a little bit too far. Com, let's extract our head from our clouds

Mark Buffalo

@DavidFreitag This is called sociopathy

Ohnana

@Iszi pls

Simon

Since we're on the actual topic of cloud to butt:

reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/495vr7/…

3

Iszi

@DavidFreitag You likey da chocolate cyber-ice cream, eh?

David Freitag

21:48

@Iszi I don't particularly enjoy it, but when I finally watched it I was like "...that's all?"

TildalWave

@NateKerkhofs I for one welcome our nebulous overlords :)

Nate Kerkhofs

@TildalWave You mean a lot of hot air, right?

Iszi

@TildalWave So, you're saying... you like the cloud?

Do you like it, in the cloud?

TildalWave

@Iszi neah, dude have an e-spliff

David Freitag

@Simon lololololol

@Iszi This should totally be added to the Sec.SE memes post

+1 inside joke

Mark Buffalo

21:51

I love drinking what comes out of clouds

Iszi

Oh, and then Adobe has that whole line of "Document Cloud" (DC) products!

Adi

@DavidFreitag If you truly want it, not difficult AT ALL

Mark Buffalo

the rain water. so delicious

Adi

Europe is going INSANE for IoT now

David Freitag

@Adi I would love a job in europe

Iszi

21:51

@MarkBuffalo Dude, if it's anything like rain... someone needs to see a doctor.

David Freitag

But I would need to go to a place where I knew people or I would just implode

Adi

@DavidFreitag If you know your way around electronics, coding, and security.. wow

Iszi

@Adi That's connecting a lot of things to the cloud, you know.

I don't know if the cloud can take it.

David Freitag

@Adi First two much more than the latter

Adi

@DavidFreitag Common sense + a bit of buzz-name dropping?

= enough

Iszi

21:53

I hear the cloud will run out of space if we don't all switch to IPv6.

Adi

Babies can drown in the metaphorical wet panties of hiring managers reading such CVs

David Freitag

@Adi Well I should say that I have no proven experience in securing things or written code that's tested to be secure.

Iszi

Oh, almost forgot... "CSI: Cyber"

kalina

@RоryMcCune can you not detect the sarcasm?

David Freitag

Other than that there's common sense, but I don't think I could pull any buzzwords from my cloud

Adi

21:54

@DavidFreitag "... with a track record of contributing to the security community such as Security.StackExchange, one of the biggest online security communities"

Just.. anything, really

Ohnana

@Simon the dumbest thing i've read all day

Simon

@Ohnana You're welcome.

David Freitag

@Adi A track record? I have two answers, lol

Iszi

@Adi Are we really one of the biggest?

Adi

@Iszi On my CV we are

Ohnana

21:55

@DavidFreitag that is one hell of a strong stomach

David Freitag

lol

Adi

@DavidFreitag Answer a few more

Not that difficult

TildalWave

@Iszi Cyder, the cyber cider :)

David Freitag

No not by any means difficult

Rory Alsop

@Iszi water here is lovely and warm (on the west coast of Scotland) as the Gulf Stream hits us.

Adi

21:55

@DavidFreitag So.. do it

You want the move, you want the job, then find the motivation

David Freitag

@Ohnana I mean, I didn't sit there watching the whole thing

Rory Alsop

Admittedly it's -4 outside right now :-)

Adi

@DavidFreitag Find a few shitty open source projects and "contribute" to them. Like fix some XSS and obvious SQL injection

David Freitag

@Adi Yeah well at the same time I'm not ready to make that move

Adi

start somwhere

@DavidFreitag Oooooh

Well, meh then

Mark Buffalo

21:56

@DavidFreitag Start now so you can when you are ready

TildalWave

@Iszi Cybear :)

Adi

@DavidFreitag What do you mean "not ready" btw?

David Freitag

@Adi I just need to finish up my goals at my current job

Adi

Cool

David Freitag

If I leave they'll effectively go out of business

Iszi

21:57

@RoryAlsop Ah, well. You're welcome then.

David Freitag

Plus it's major brownie points on a CV to have entire product lines based on your designs.

Mark Buffalo

^ that

David Freitag

"Why do you feel that you will be a good fit for us?": "I have a proven track record that I can start from scratch and build an entire line of products from the ground up starting with a rough outline of goals to hardware and to software."

That sort of deal

Nate Kerkhofs

Okay, now that that's dealt with, I just have to wait

Henry WH Hack

Anybody here good evening?

Nate Kerkhofs

22:07

Damn, Lazers takes a while to catch the question

Henry WH Hack

Okay someone's here.

Nate Kerkhofs

@HenryWHHack you just missed a great 15 minutes about cyber pathogens, WoW, extensions that replace words with butt and @DavidFreitag wanting to work in Europe but not yet ready for it

David Freitag

@NateKerkhofs Next year.

2018 I'll be in europe somewhere.

Henry WH Hack

What 15 minutes?

silverpenguin

Japan is better than europe just saying

Nate Kerkhofs

22:10

@HenryWHHack check the chat history

David Freitag

18 mins ago, by David Freitag

But I would need to go to a place where I knew people or I would just implode

silverpenguin

I miss you japan 😢

Nate Kerkhofs

@DavidFreitag How often does Lazers update?

David Freitag

Basically my only options are UK/Finland

silverpenguin

@DavidFreitag where r u from?

David Freitag

22:11

@silverpenguin 'murica

I suppose @JourneymanGeek and @LucasKauffman are in Singapore, and @TildalWave is in... where is it again? Well.. somewhere.

Ohnana

@NateKerkhofs i don't think lazers is in this room

silverpenguin

@DavidFreitag Why would you want to leave the land of the free for the land of the niserble weather

Nate Kerkhofs

@Ohnana Wait, so I'm waiting for my question to post itself for nothing?

0

Q: So what would a cyber pathogen be, exactly?

Michael Ramos of the San Bernardino justice department issued a statement in the past week, since retracted, about something he calls a "lying dormant cyber pathogen" on the San Bernardino terrorist iPhone, claiming it's part of the reason why Apple needs to unlock the device. By now, this state...

Ohnana

@NateKerkhofs yes

also i VTC'd that

so.

David Freitag

@Ohnana I'm so confused.

Ohnana

22:13

@DavidFreitag lazers is a bot that posts new questions as they come in

he sits in the bridge

Nate Kerkhofs

@Ohnana Don't really care, just wanted to ask it because I hoped it would autopost

David Freitag

wat

Nate Kerkhofs

So it would confuse people with the cyber to butt plugin installed

silverpenguin

Cheese 😃

David Freitag

researchcenter.paloaltonetworks.com/2016/03/…

OSX Ransomware ^

Iszi

22:26

@DavidFreitag Think I heard something about that yesterday, but not in here.

David Freitag

Oh great, now the support guy is quoting from the help file that I've been reading nonstop for days

THANKS FOR TELLING ME SOMETHING I ALREADY KNOW

Nate Kerkhofs

@DavidFreitag I'm trying to read that page, but it constantly keeps jumping around because of reloading things or something like that

Simon

@DavidFreitag I linked it here yesterday you donut overlord.

David Freitag

@Simon sorry I was busy being on my deathbed

Simon

o

livescience.com/…

wottttt

Hey @AviD, I think you should take shrooms ^

Mark Buffalo

22:39

thehill.com/policy/national-security/…

This guy is a frigging moron

AviD

@Simon aren't you already?

@Simon or did you mean, do I think you should stop?

@Iszi and @RоryMcCune, didja all see that MSSQL is coming to Linux?

Nate Kerkhofs

@MarkBuffalo Newsflash, Brennan: San Bernardino WAS your second 9/11

Mark Buffalo

"we must backdoor secure standards becuz muh terrorism"

Iszi

@AviD Hm. Gut reaction is to be shocked, I suppose. But under Satya, not so much. Actually should have seen it coming.

AviD

@Simon downvoted for spite. pls.

David Freitag

22:51

12

A: Making a coin fair

Retina, 16 14 bytes (.)\1|(.)?. $2 Try it online! Explanation This is fairly simple. The code defines a single regex substitution replacing all (non-overlapping) matches of (.)\1|(.)?. with whatever the second group captured. This combines three different cases into one: (.)\1 --> <empty> ...

+1 program with boobies in it

Transcript for