The DMZ

Rory Alsop

19:00

Pandora not so much

we'd need a US producer to do it properly

Ohnana

UUUUG

this explains why i couldn't find any good iceland bands on there

kalina

guys I've got a great idea

let's create a global network of interconnected computers

let's call it the INTERNET

and then we can apply regional laws to it

gg

Simon

You're a great idea.

kalina

thanks

Simon

pls don't tell my donut I said that

kalina

19:03

@Simon'sdonut your boyfriend is hitting on me

Simon

WOT

Hang on I'll get her to join if she's home and not shopping.

cuz u know, women and shopping...

kalina

I take offence to that

does it look like I'm shopping right now?

schroeder

@kalina there's a mobile app

Simon

You are, look at all the open tabs you got.

kalina

open tabs is not the same as shopping right now

they're... reminders

shut top

Simon

19:04

luuuulz

kalina

pls mobile app

smartphones are good for phone calls, texting, and watching media if you really have to

you don't actually use them for important things

Simon

Typing on them sucks.

kalina

now look what you've done

Simon

:D

Rory Alsop

@kalina I like shopping online. But I hate shopping in an actual shjop. With actual people.

Thomas Pornin

19:08

@kalina Yeah, right ? It is so difficult to find a phone with the right aerodynamics to be usable as a decent throwing weapon.

kalina

@ThomasPornin iPhone is pretty good for throwing at people or things

just remember you've got to hold it right

Rory Alsop

One of the only perks I think I'd really like if I got famous. That diva way of shutting a store in order to shop without having to deal with others

Simon

@lady.donut pls what is dat name

kalina

@RoryAlsop well that's because actual people are the worst

Thomas Pornin

@kalina The rounded corners. They are way too pacifist.

Rory Alsop

19:09

@kalina I moderate using mine about 75% of the time

That 75% is my worse moderation. The other 25% is much better

kalina

@ThomasPornin sure but they've got a decent weight to them and are predictable in flight

Thomas Pornin

@kalina Also, the battery explosion is unreliable.

kalina

oh right, rounded corners, I was talking about the 5S :p

Thomas Pornin

Though the shattered glass, I can work with.

kalina

with the 6, you run the risk it might bend and give you a boomerang effect

lady.donut

19:11

@Simon "shopping"

kalina

gets popcorn

Simon

What do you prefer it to be called?

Investing?

Rory Alsop

@lady.donut well - hello :-)

kalina

investing is a good one

Rory Alsop

(is Simon in trouble again)

kalina

19:12

many of the things I purchase are investments

like shoes

Simon

I'm always in trouble.

kalina

if you buy enough shoes then the wear per shoe is quite low and they hold their value

lady.donut

@RoryAlsop oh hey!

Rory Alsop

Err - and guitars, right

kalina

that's what this track is missing

I need an acid line

lady.donut

19:13

I hate shopping except when it's online plz bob

Rory Alsop

@kalina I thought you got it in tabs, not lines...

:-)

Simon

pls well yeah that's true

kalina

@RoryAlsop no pls

acid line is like the guitar of the dance music world

you should be one with the acid line

Simon

That's why you need a TB-3, to be one with it while it sits on a desk never plugged in.

kalina

I don't need a TB3

Simon

19:15

Then, every ~3 months, you can feel bad and remove the dust.

Rory Alsop

@kalina collaboration then :-)

kalina

unfortunately I don't have my FB383 to hand because I don't travel with a rack full of instruments

so I'm going to have to use a plugin

I HAVE NO CHOICE

oh the woes

Simon

Filthy casual.

kalina

and then I'll get home and my software generated acid line will sound so perfect and won't need replacing

Simon

Hardware master race.

kalina

19:16

the descent into madness

now I've forgotten where I wanted to put the acid line

Ohnana

i have an otter box on my android phone -- it blunts the corners but it also means i can throw it multiple times

kalina

plus aren't they like super heavy

Ohnana

19:34

a bit

David Freitag

@MarkBuffalo 'tis but a scratch

Ohnana

it is more hefty, but i've almost wrecked my phone a few times

dropping it on the bathroom tile, throwing it at walls by accident, etc.

David Freitag

Oooh hey its @lady.donut! Hi @lady.donut.

Ohnana

(°□°)

lady.donut

@DavidFreitag allo allo!

kalina

19:38

@Ohnana I had major worries I'd break my htc one by dropping it but in the end it's in basically brand new condition and hasn't ever been in a case

same with my one plus two so far

Ohnana

interesting

i'm a walking derp-tornado so I really don't trust myself not to break things

kalina

the one plus two doesn't even feel like it'd break if I did drop it tbh

I guess it would be game over screen down

Ohnana

hence the business class thinkpads, otter box on phone, tablet case, etc

kalina

typing with the new touch covers on surface is nice

I haven't broken any nails so far and I type with my nails most of the time

so apparently deadpool movie is quite good

has anybody here seen it yet?

Rоry McCune

twitter.com/BettyMWhite/status/697839194568167424

Hey Betty white likes it, it must be good!

I love @VancityReynolds…here are a few of my thoughts about his new movie #Deadpool. https://amp.twimg.com/v/cc3077e5-6b85-4686-bc3c-3f6502691dc2

Tweeted by BettyMWhite on February 11, 2016 at 5:46 PM

@AviD has seen it

I want to see it

Simon

19:51

dayum betty is a fogey

Rоry McCune

@Simon but a cool one

she's like a younger @RoryAlsop

Ohnana

LMAO

Mark Buffalo

Lmao

Rory Alsop

...

Ohnana

:DDDD

Rоry McCune

20:01

@RoryAlsop hey I called you cool :)

Thomas Pornin

@RоryMcCune A corpse is cool.

Rоry McCune

@ThomasPornin hey if you like that kind of thing, that's up to you :op

Thomas Pornin

@RоryMcCune I consume souls, not brains.

Rоry McCune

@ThomasPornin so more a demilich than a zombie

Thomas Pornin

@RоryMcCune I have two personae so that would make me a complete lich, not a demi.

O'Niel

20:13

Does someone know a good PGP-mailclient (under €5) for iOS which is open-source? I've found some applications, but none open-source/view-source.

Rоry McCune

@ThomasPornin ah no demilichs are kind of really old liches that turn into dormant skulls while their mind roams the planes and suck people souls into gems embedded in their heads

Thomas Pornin

@O'Niel github.com/krzyzanowskim/ObjectivePGP

Rоry McCune

nasty little blighters

Xander

@O'Niel You describe impossible requirements when you combine "good" and "PGP-mailclient"

Thomas Pornin

@RоryMcCune Demilichs can curse and consume your gear, but master lichs teleport. But they don't last long against a good old fireball, or Firebrand.

You can also polymorph into a red dragon and burn them up. Or make them your pet.

Rоry McCune

20:17

@ThomasPornin what game's that in? I'm on DnD/Pathfinder demilichs like the one in the original Tomb of Horrors

Thomas Pornin

@RоryMcCune NetHack

What else ?

Rоry McCune

ahh of course, that makes sense

Thomas Pornin

(as George would say)

JukEboX

Hi guys and gals

Mark Buffalo

Hi juke

Did the wife give birth?

JukEboX

20:23

@MarkBuffalo not yet. Due date is Friday although we are not sure what will happen.

Mark Buffalo

Ah, nice

JukEboX

@MarkBuffalo we are in a bit of a situation so it is a wait and see kind of thing at the moment. So now she is at home on the couch relaxing if she can.

Rоry McCune

@JukEboX I'm guessing, what may happen is that you end up with one (or more) small human

3

JukEboX

@RоryMcCune Yes I will have 1 human

Mark Buffalo

@JukEboX Situation? Everything okay?

schroeder

20:25

@JukEboX "Ready for work"

JukEboX

@MarkBuffalo yes. she has high blood pressure and more fluid than normal so we have to keep an eye on her.

Mark Buffalo

:(

JukEboX

@MarkBuffalo on a scale of fluid normal people would be at 18 for the baby to float in. A lot is measured at 23. She is at a 29

Mark Buffalo

Induce labor? That will remove some of the pressure

Thats a lot, dude.

JukEboX

@MarkBuffalo she doesn't feel comfortable with that. We may be doing that we will find out Friday

Mark Buffalo

20:27

We induced labor for our son

Around 9lbs, and wife is 4'10"

schroeder

@MarkBuffalo eep!

Mark Buffalo

So he was kinda big. He came a week and a half early

Or he would've hit 11lbs

Apparently in the last two weeks, the baby grows astonishingly fast

Thomas Pornin

@MarkBuffalo It is obviously the father's fault. Be sure to tell that to your wife.

Mark Buffalo

@ThomasPornin Haha, yep

Well she had a bad kidney infection, so it caused early labor

C section just made it come earlier

@JukEboX Hope things improve rapidly

Ohnana

@JukEboX hope everything turns out okay

just think -- your kiddo can survive outside the womb just fine so if you have to induce, things should be okay

Mark Buffalo

20:42

bugs.debian.org/cgi-bin/bugreport.cgi?bug=700758

(note the date)

Ohnana

uh what

Thomas Pornin

@MarkBuffalo It is not the bcrypt you're looking for.

Mark Buffalo

@ThomasPornin Help us understand this

Xander

Fun fact: the CNG worker library in Windows is named bcrypt.dll. It does not contain an implementation of the bcrypt KDF.

Mark Buffalo

heh

Thomas Pornin

20:51

@MarkBuffalo There is bcrypt, the password hashing function, which is fine, and bcrypt, the command-line traditional encryption tool, which is braindead.

Mark Buffalo

@ThomasPornin Yeah, I was wondering why they were referring to it as "encryption"

Someone tried to edit someone's post with that link, replacing the author's original intent, etc

I read it, and I'm like "wait... what?"

Thomas Pornin

"Confusion now hath made his masterpiece."

Mark Buffalo

I rejected the edit

already

Ohnana

> Unfortunately, we don't dox people here

HAHA @MarkBuffalo you arse

Mark Buffalo

lol

I edited it a little

Ohnana

20:55

no, it was great!

Mark Buffalo

She seems like an older person

so I really want her to not believe anyone online...

security.stackexchange.com/review/suggested-edits/69621

See this? This is what I'm talking about

JukEboX

@MarkBuffalo @Ohnana we will find out what we will be doing this Friday. Until then we chill

Mark Buffalo

@JukEboX I'm already anxious, man

Ohnana

@JukEboX best wishes! try to enjoy your week as best you can

@MarkBuffalo nice catch

Mark Buffalo

I visited the article, and the first red flag was referring to it as encryption, and not hashing

thankfully, @ThomasPornin saved us all from a bad edit

Ohnana

21:01

all hail big bear

Mark Buffalo

The user hasn't visited the help center, nor have they taken the tour

JukEboX

Oh hey guys

Mark Buffalo

Hey guy

JukEboX

Do you know of a program I can use for my windows machines that is something like Transparent Screen Lock but not that

They haven't updated it in years and I want something newer that includes ALL of the Unicode and ansi characters

Mark Buffalo

0

Q: Why disable root?

This page on server hardening claims: Disabling the root account is necessary for security reasons. Why is disabling the root account is necessary for security reasons?

ubuntu

schroeder

21:07

@MarkBuffalo the site he links to explains it

Mark Buffalo

Yeah lol

security.stackexchange.com/review/first-posts/69625

schroeder

@MarkBuffalo and "disabling" according to the site is simply to passwd -l

Mark Buffalo

the fug

-1

A: What are the dangers of advertising my MySQL-powered amateur site?

http://c9.io is a good way to host your project free + no worry of access to your system

vtc nuke / delete

schroeder

@MarkBuffalo done

Mark Buffalo

danke

@ThomasPornin

0

A: Why disable root?

It is an old Tradition from the days of the Mainframe. The idea is that root can do what he wants with the machine, including replacing the kernel or destroying the UEFI variables, which can brick the machine. Whereas a non-root account cannot -- unless that account is given administrative rights...

Do I detect passive aggression?

rofl

David Freitag

21:14

We are ordering 192GB of server ram

I'm exited

Mark Buffalo

Nice

@DavidFreitag Does that reduce your salary by 2%?

Thomas Pornin

What ? The little bear is everything but passive about his aggression.

David Freitag

@MarkBuffalo wut

Mark Buffalo

@DavidFreitag Clearly they have to cut salaries to buy 192GB of ram :(

David Freitag

@MarkBuffalo $1000

Mark Buffalo

21:15

@ThomasPornin Well, for a minute there, I thought this was about your bricked computer

But then I realized I need to stop skimming posts

Thomas Pornin

@MarkBuffalo It is not bricked until I say it is.

2

Right now it is just in coma.

Mark Buffalo

@Ohnana I'm just joking. Deletion will occur in some seconds

Ohnana

wha?

Mark Buffalo

1

A: Why disable root?

If you're not using Root, you're using sudo! Sudo is a great way to become root only when you need to. Root is a giant target. What's root's username? Root! I'm so smart :) Logging. Sudo has a greater command of audit logging (so that when someone uses sudo to do something silly, you can tattle...

Ohnana

FIGHT ME

1v1 ME MATE

Mark Buffalo

21:18

1v1 I'll hit you in the gabber m8

Ohnana

@ThomasPornin yes, sudo means administrator. But if you read #3, you can disallow commands

read with yo eyeballs!

Mark Buffalo

sudo bash

sudo xterm

Gilles

@MarkBuffalo I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid you can't do that

Mark Buffalo

@Gilles Refer to the link

schroeder

I'm trying to hunt down some potential malware activity: is there any reason malware might run 3 DNS queries for what appear to be random strings?

Thomas Pornin

21:21

@Ohnana Meh. This obviously cannot apply to a user who is installing the damn OS and is in position to disable or not disable root.

Unless the user manages to lock himself out of administrative access, which is hilarious.

Ohnana

@ThomasPornin true, but i was speaking more of a hardening from a sysadmin's perspective

Gilles

@schroeder to communicate, presumably?

Mark Buffalo

@schroeder Might need to see the strings

and the metadata

does it come from inside, or outside?

Ohnana

@schroeder DNS beacon?

that's my kneejerk reaction

Gilles

it could be looking for a moving control center, or it could be advertising its presence

Thomas Pornin

21:23

@schroeder As @Gilles says, these DNS queries are likely to be conveyed to the principal DNS server for the target domain, going through all filters in the local network.

And it may even get an answer.

Gilles

@ThomasPornin Y no xkcd?

schroeder

internal DNS query to internal DNS

"eynjfnqzr.my-corp.com"

"dxfthwyhhrqcauw.my-corp.com"

"ovtoqtnu.mycorp.com"

Mark Buffalo

Looks suspicious

Gilles

@schroeder ah, that's stranger

Mark Buffalo

But I'd just use ARP

Gilles

21:28

Before you say anything, no, I know not to leave my computer sitting out logged in to all my accounts. I have it set up so after a few minutes of inactivity it automatically switches to my brother's.

schroeder

I assume that the orginal query was simply for the string: "ovtoqtnu", and the host appended the "my-corp.com"

Mark Buffalo

could be someone just hitting random keys

David Freitag

@Gilles Is it just me or does the "Admin Account" look like a scrotum?

Mark Buffalo

if I send a dns query internally, the host appends

either way, I'd hunt down that user and ask them what's going on

schroeder

@MarkBuffalo did - they know nothing

Mark Buffalo

21:30

If that user didn't do it, 99% malware

David Freitag

@MarkBuffalo Preferably with a pitchfork and a torch

schroeder

Sargent Schultz - I know nothing, I am not here - I did not even get up this morning!

►

Gilles

@DavidFreitag This interpretation isn't mentioned on explainxkcd, so I think it's just you

Mark Buffalo

@schroeder Someone has a shell on their computer

schroeder

@MarkBuffalo this is my assumption, but I wanted to rule out other explanations

Thomas Pornin

21:31

@Gilles When the quote is obvious, there is no need for explanatory subtitles.

Mark Buffalo

@schroeder Yeah, this is something I've done... doing random dns queries to see what's going on... but usually, ARP will suffice

schroeder

@MarkBuffalo after those 3 queries, there are dns queries where they query computernames incrementally

Mark Buffalo

suspicious indeed

schroeder

computer1, computer2, ... computer400

Mark Buffalo

@schroeder can you detect arp requests?

David Freitag

21:32

@schroeder Cleanse it with fire. From orbit.

schroeder

@DavidFreitag yes, yes, but I want to make sure there is nothing normal going on

David Freitag

@schroeder When in doubt get the gasoline and thermite.

schroeder

@DavidFreitag I'm sitting here with my flamethrower lit and on my lap

Mark Buffalo

there's nothing normal about incrementally doing dns queries on the corporate network like that

doing a few test cases to see if dns queries are even allowed

David Freitag

@schroeder Oooh that's always fun, just remember you're one slip away from singed ball hairs.

Mark Buffalo

21:33

if they're allowed, sweet... now let's dig in

schroeder

@DavidFreitag ... it burns when I pee ...

David Freitag

But then only the most fun activities are only just a slip away from singed ball hairs.

schroeder

@MarkBuffalo yeah, that was one of my interpretations, too

Mark Buffalo

@schroeder does your IDS/IPS detect arp queries?

schroeder

@MarkBuffalo not sayin'

Mark Buffalo

21:34

well, that's a really easy way to hide yourself

schroeder

@MarkBuffalo yeah

Mark Buffalo

Who has 10.10.1.2? Tell 10.10.1.100

"Oh, I got that. I'm <mac address>!"

David Freitag

@MarkBuffalo That makes me want to build a device that responds to all ARP queries

Yeah sure I'm <mac address>

schroeder

@DavidFreitag I had an applicance that did just that!

David Freitag

That would totally fuck everything up

schroeder

21:36

very cool, actually

David Freitag

DHCP: "So... uh... we have 200,000 computers with the same MAC address..."

schroeder

@DavidFreitag lol, it only did that on new, unknown, or machines that were behaving oddly

it screwed around with the MAC tables on the switches and host machines

David Freitag

@schroeder Especially if it were really fast to reply. It's basically a race to reply before the real client does.

schroeder

pretty slick and effective

kinda like a poor man's version of dynamic VLANs or SDN

David Freitag

Or a DHCP black hole

Cause a DHCP to poo itself and sit in the corner eating paste

Or a device that attempts to allocate every single ip address left in the subnet

Ooooh that would be funny

Mark Buffalo

21:42

Actually, such a device could be a honeypot

I RE'd a piece of malware doing mass ARP scans on my network

David Freitag

Dude a DHCP DoS. Going to class? Is it a computer class? Don't feel like doing work today? Just plug in this dongle and BOOOOOOM no more internets.

Of course that would probably have the side effect of taking out the entire school

MickLH

21:58

@kalina I heard it's lame...

Rоry McCune

@DavidFreitag I'm not sure that using the phrases "BOOOOOM" and "Taking out the whole school" in consecutive messages is wise, in terms of keeping names off certain lists

@MickLH pls it's got great reviews and one of the best box offices for an R rated movie of all time

$130 mill open on a $50 mill budget == guaranteed sequel

David Freitag

@RоryMcCune Hahaha yeah I split it into two lines in the name of obfuscation. I also used a dual ROT-13 to scramble it.

MickLH

@RоryMcCune Don't feed the troll.

Transcript for