The DMZ

tylerl

03:43

@Xander literally the smartest decision anyone can make

Rоry McCune

07:46

mornin' all

kalina

08:58

just walked past a mirror on the way back up here with breakfast

scary

must have accidentally completed the circuit in my sleep or something, hair... everywhere

@schroeder you're*

Rоry McCune

09:16

@kalina youv'e got a bit of a bee in your bonnet about that one, huh?

kalina

yes, it's like a nervous twitch

AviD

youre a nervous twitch

kalina

well yes, I am quite nervous in any environment that I don't own

it's no good, I'm going to have to spend an hour straightening my hair

Arperum

@kalina I never had that happen to me from just sleeping. Headbanging ties my hair in the worst possible knots, but for the rest I have no issues.

kalina

I have long naturally wavy hair that behaves most of the time but seemingly randomly just explodes into frizzyhell

I suspect that some nights I sleep badly but not badly enough to actually wake up

resulting in lots of rolling around

Arperum

09:28

I have long non-wavy hair (the right word has been wiped from my memory for some reason). And it seems to be quite knot resistent And not resulting in hair explosions.

kalina

straight hair?

wavy hair is not knot resistant

in fact, it seems to actively knot itself

granted my hair has been chemically abused to change its color so many times that I guess I've given up the right to complain

Arperum

yup. That's the word. And I couldn't even google translate it because the brainpurge even purged the dutch word (and the worst part is that before I started typing I still knew it)

kalina

that's basically the story of my life

kalina

09:47

somebody should invent a knife that toasts bread as it cuts it

I have a USB lighter now

possibly the simplest idea ever

even I could have made it

Rоry McCune

@kalina is that like the low fat version?

kalina

no

AviD

@RoryAlsop thats a nasty trick. Trying to tease me with Ingress.... you know they are prejudiced against me for my platform beliefs!

kalina

it's a battery with a piece of high resistance wire and a usb port and a switch to turn it on and off

usb charges the battery, battery puts power through the wire, wire gets hot, hot lights joint

it's a lighter without any actual fire

which makes it kalina-safe

Rоry McCune

@kalina very important feature

kalina

09:53

yes

very important feature

no more burnt hair

Rоry McCune

@kalina unless you're smoking soap bar.

Rory Alsop

@AviD :-) actually - I thought I'd send out a bunch of invites in one batch, and then not send any more - so I don't accidentally send multiples to the same person

and Morning

Rоry McCune

@RoryAlsop mornin'

Rory Alsop

@AviD s/youre/you're

Rоry McCune

@RoryAlsop i think mr D was doing that deliberately to aggravate @kalina 's twitch

Rory Alsop

09:58

@kalina my youngest has hair she can sit on - so at night I put it in a ponytail with about 10 scrunchies down the length of it. Otherwise she wakes looking like Cthulhu

Rоry McCune

@RoryAlsop why would you not want a child that looks like Cthulhu!

Rory Alsop

@RоryMcCune the personality goes along with the look

2 hours to get most of the tangles out is not a good use of time

especially when the worst tangles need to be cut out

AviD

@RoryAlsop youre a missing punctuation

@RоryMcCune lol

Rory Alsop

@AviD 10/10 #Simon

kalina

@RoryAlsop mine isn't quite that long, but it loses quite a bit of length in its wavyness

comes down to the middle of my back if I straighten it out

AviD

10:04

@kalina funny, @Simon said exactly that just yesterday

kalina

@AviD I don't care

AviD

@kalina what? no.

kalina

I'm not interested in your immaturity yet, wait until after the third coffee

AviD

aahh okay

yeah I havent had coffee yet - I'm out :-(

kalina

I might even put sugar in this one

Rory Alsop

10:05

good point - I've had a Vimto, but no caffeine yet - what was I thinking?

kalina

so I have the motivation to actually do something other than just hack all this hair off

AviD

@kalina shave your head and donate the hair to a cancer organization.

kalina

eww no

AviD

dammit 3 times I had to fix that. I guess my fingers really want a donut

kalina

not eww at cancer

eww at being hairless

Rory Alsop

10:07

@AviD I always wondered about that. Is it actually that useful, or would they prefer a few thousand pounds?

AviD

@kalina right right, poor hairless kids who are dying.

kalina

@AviD my hair isn't going to change that

AviD

@RoryAlsop probably both.

Rоry McCune

@AviD now that is some poor planning right there

AviD

but yeah, especially kids have a hard enough time. Being bald on top of everything - as a kid - is kinda kicking them when theyre down.

not all kids, but many would really appreciate it.

and wigs are just not the same.

kalina

10:08

I donate a significant sum to charities and while I don't feel it's enough I'd rather not be given a hard time about the subject

AviD

my daughter did that a few years ago

not the shaving head part, just cutting off a lot of long hair

kalina

I spent my entire life growing my hair

and I don't care that it's half dead and partially lifeless

AviD

@RоryMcCune I know, I always forget to order on time :-(

kalina

it's still my hair

AviD

@kalina hey I'm not hassling you about that

it was just a suggestion

Rory Alsop

10:09

@AviD I keep expecting youngest to ask if she can - she is very into helping others. I think though she raises more money being small and blonde and cute than she would with it cut off

AviD

@RoryAlsop hahaha

Rory Alsop

@kalina I miss mine

AviD

"I am keeping my hair - for charity!"

"I am doing a makeover - for charity!"

Rory Alsop

@AviD I'm serious - being photogenic definitely gets more newspaper inches

AviD

"I need a nose job - for charity!"

@RoryAlsop no doubt

Rory Alsop

10:10

So her wee smiling face has been over all the local papers

AviD

@RoryAlsop aww bless

Rory Alsop

whereas I only get in the papers with a scary mask on :-)

kalina

@RoryAlsop I will never cut off my hair

I might go blonde before I'm 25, so I can just prove to myself that blondes have an equal amount of fun to brunettes

I might go blonde before the end of the year

but my it's just so much sitting around for hours while somebody plays with your hair

and I can't do sitting around for hours

and DIY kits always look manky

Rоry McCune

@kalina take a tablet/smartphone/laptop avoid boredom!

Stephane

'morning folks

AviD

10:22

@RоryMcCune or a nap

Rory Alsop

@AviD I was going to stay exactly the same

(Us old folks, eh)

AviD

any chance for a nap

kalina

@AviD woah, sleeping in public is a big no no

AviD

last night I took a nap when putting kids to sleep, woke up at 4 am to go to bed.

@kalina you obviously have never been tired enough to fall asleep while standing on a bus.

kalina

@RоryMcCune my phone battery would drain in the time it takes to change teh color of my hair from a dark to a light

@AviD I have obviously never been standing on a bus

Rоry McCune

10:26

@kalina battery extender packs FTW

AviD

@kalina you should try using a non-crap phone. Yknow, something other than android.

kalina

@AviD you're an iPhone user, I thought it was accepted in the technical world that iPhone users do not have an opinion on mobile phones?

@RоryMcCune yeah that looks attractive

Rory Alsop

Or a tablet?

kalina

here, take this nice pretty work of art phone with a metal body and triple its size or hang a bunch of cables out of it

AviD

@kalina I completely agree on your opinion of iPhones and their Users. I would never choose to use one.

kalina

10:27

eww.

AviD

and no, I am NOT an iPhone user. I find that suggestion to be offensive.

kalina

@RoryAlsop nobody looks cool using a tablet in public

Rory Alsop

@kalina iphone...work of art? oh dear

kalina

@RoryAlsop htc one

Rory Alsop

@kalina I would. Mine would have lasers

@kalina in that case - yeah, it's quite nice

Rоry McCune

10:28

►

^heh

kalina

the first one, not the new one

since the new one is HUGE AND TOO BIG FOR MY TINY HANDS

AviD

@kalina TWSS

kalina

it's actually not, I just prefer to not have a phone that is that large

@AviD I had to reword my next line twice, at first it was "don't want something that big in my hands"

which is obviously a conflict with my actual feelings on the matter

AviD

hehe

kalina

I just burned myself with my flameless lighter

apparently there doesn't need to be fire for it to get hot

right, productivity time starts now

AviD

10:33

good idea

kalina

11:09

end of productivity time

my hair is now ~~fixed~~ more maintained than when I went to bed

Rory Alsop

now playtime?

kalina

no

while performing the previous task I took the opportunity to review all of the noises I've arranged this year

now I have a good idea that I have basically achieved nothing of value so far

fortunately, it is not an issue

Rory Alsop

@kalina 'noises' :-) and if they reached your criteria, they would be 'music', yes?

kalina

I am going to stick with the word "noise", "music" is too subjective and differs based on who you ask

everything I've made this year sounds very sad and emotional

I guess I really did go full Taylor Swift

for shits and giggles, I might subvert the whole hardstyle genre, for a future lulz reveal where I can mess with Simon

replace all my kickdrums with more distorted equivalents

Rory Alsop

@kalina that's a worthy cause, but I'm not sure the rest of the world could cope

kalina

11:34

I don't think I could either

too much noise, not enough dynamics

I am booked in for a blondification

it's the third time in my life I will have been a blonde

Rоry McCune

@kalina that was a quick decision!

I thought you were still havering about it

kalina

well, it will be easier to undo that to do

and it's a required step to go full TS

Rоry McCune

@kalina TS?

Terry Chia

@RоryMcCune Taylor Swift. Keep up.

Rоry McCune

@TerryChia So taylor swift is so fundamental now that we have to abbreviate her name to TS?

TS.. more like BS :op

Terry Chia

11:40

@RоryMcCune Yes. She's a shining beacon in the train-wreck of an industry that is infosec.

Today is the one year anniversary of this 6-week project.

Tweeted by MeetingBoy on February 4, 2015 at 2:35 PM

kalina

@RоryMcCune I am merely considering the frequency of which said name appears in this google indexed room

N898TS

shoulda got N1989TS

Rоry McCune

@kalina ah so the concern is that we end up inundated with swiftites

kalina

probably not, the signal to noise ratio on that particular topic will certainly leave this room out of the first 100 pages of the index

I'm bored and I'm synthesizing trumpet sounds

Rоry McCune

@kalina I'll avoid the obvious rude joke there

kalina

there was no obvious rude joke there

Rоry McCune

11:51

@kalina well not to you anyway :)

kalina

nope

I didn't say I was playing the trumpet

sucking, slurping and gagging don't count as trumpet noises

Rоry McCune

@kalina that wasn't the joke

@kalina it wasn't in any way related to that

kalina

neither does the obligatory dirty talk to make your partner feel like the man

wait, this is going to be safer if you just tell me what you were thinking and I avoid doing the same

AviD

you're an obligatory dirty talk

#simon

kalina

@AviD only on coffee #2, and this doesn't make sense

AviD

11:53

it doesnt need to

kalina

I am going to actually not drink a third coffee today

just so we can have a semi normal discussion

Rоry McCune

@kalina s'easy trumpet close to "truimping" a euphamism for farting, so the joke goes "were you synthesizing the trumpet naturally or electronically"

AviD

its just like your face

kalina

@RоryMcCune truimping?

that's not a word that I recognize

and neither does google

no wonder I wasn't following

AviD

@kalina neither does your face

kalina

11:55

you talk about my face a lot, that's some serious infatuation you've got going on there

AviD

►

Rоry McCune

@kalina easy to see how one letter can confuse you :op

kalina

I feel like I am the one being trolled

by like, both of you

Rоry McCune

@kalina who us... troll you... a sohpisticated TS themed hardstyle DJ

BTW I take it you'll have that market niche cornered?

kalina

if that was the market I was in, I would have cornered it

like, already

but it's not, so I haven't

as a matter of fact, I purposely avoid small genres to avoid the big fish small pond effect

which is a little sad, because I grew up listening to a lot of hard dance, and hard dance genres are slowly dying

Rоry McCune

12:06

@kalina ahh I thought you did hard style stuff. So what genre do you do?

kalina

no, Simon wants me to make hardstyle

I'm certainly not answering your other question

Rоry McCune

@kalina ah too much of a give away?

AviD

@RоryMcCune some obscure sub-sub-subgenre that is virtually undifferentiatable from hardstyle by all except the few adherents to each.

The new crowd is heavily shaped by this guy named Eric, who's basically the Paris Hilton of the amateur plastic crazy straw design world.

Rоry McCune

@AviD I'm afraid I can't think of all these different dance genres without just thinking of Burnistouns jump style sketches

►

AviD

:D

Terry Chia

12:14

Damn, Agent Carter is a great show.

AviD

dammit man, I've got work to do

Terry Chia

Anyone all caught up yet?

AviD

@TerryChia yeah it is.

@TerryChia I'm a week behind. No spoilers.

Terry Chia

@AviD Ooooh! The latest one is Howling Commandos week. :)

AviD

ssshhhh!!!

urggh sooo hard to start the work week Thursday at 3PM...

dont forget friday is the weekend here already.

Terry Chia

12:23

@AviD There's always next week. :)

AviD

you must be a mathematician.

anybody know what guarana is?

my double-kick fake redbull is spiked with that and "mate".

Guarana

Guarana (/ˌɡwɑrəˈnɑː/, from the Portuguese guaraná [ɡwaɾɐˈna]), Paullinia cupana, syn. P. crysan, P. sorbilis) is a climbing plant in the maple family, Sapindaceae, native to the Amazon basin and especially common in Brazil. Guarana features large leaves and clusters of flowers, and is best known for the seeds from its fruit, which are about the size of a coffee seed ("bean"). As a dietary supplement, guarana is an effective stimulant: its seeds contain about twice the concentration of caffeine found in coffee seeds (about 2–4.5% caffeine in guarana seeds compared to 1–2% for coffee seeds). As...

w0000t stimulants! double the caffiene as coffee!

also - whoa! @RоryMcCune I just finished reinstalling Checkmarx on a proper Win2013 Server machine - and it is FAST!

Terry Chia

12:41

@AviD Vs a VM?

AviD

dont know if its just because I swapped to Server, or if its the MSSQL/IIS (instead of the embdded DB/webserver) - or if they did a ton of performance improvements, but wow.

Terry Chia

@AviD Oh.

AviD

@TerryChia hmm? no, still a VM, but server-level specs. Fixed memory (vs dynamic), more cores, and NOT Win8.

Terry Chia

I still wish I can afford a checkmarx license to play with. :)

AviD

While I love the results, I would dread clicking on anything in the web ui. now its nearly isntantaneous.

this is likely largely to do with the actual DB backend, but curious if there is anything else going on.

@TerryChia hell, I cant

Terry Chia

12:44

@AviD Maybe they rewrote it in io.js?

AviD

@TerryChia hehehe

riiiight that muuust be it

kalina

boring

Terry Chia

@AviD What? It's webscale.

Using MongoDB in place of MSSQL will probably get you a 10x performance boost.

AviD

obligatory, for those not familiar

►

still love that

> "You turn it on and it scales right up"

Rory Alsop

13:03

@AviD I miss the guarana chocolate Boost. Not sure why they don't make that one any more

AviD

13:18

jeeeez car salespeople are a sleezy bunch.

even if you assume most of your customers are as bad at math as you are, why would you assume none of them will simply open a calculator, and call you on your bullshit?

Arperum

@AviD They expect a certain percentage to call them out on their bullshit, then give these the correct price (or excuses or some other nonsense). But most people won't check it out.

People are dumb. Real dumb.

AviD

but it was blatantly obvious! even @Simon could have been able to tell that his numbers arent making sense!

actually.... dammit. I am sooo stupid.

those obviously wrong numbers were a "blue button". or a "Queen's duck".

Simon

@AviD pls

Ohnana

@AviD wat

AviD

it was intentional that I notice - so that I dont notice that I'm being screwed from the other end.

he gets me to focus on calling him on the mistakes and pushing him on the numbers, when he has the whole legal department lining up behind me.

it was simply a distraction for the less dumb.

Arperum

13:30

2 mins ago, by Arperum

People are dumb. Real dumb.

Ohnana

@AviD ah. that's really sleazy

AviD

no, its brilliant!

Simon

You're brilliant.

AviD

@Ohnana those are classic examples of managing clueless PMs. Since they feel they always need to make substantial comments to the program, you give them something obvious to focus on.

Ohnana

@AviD neat

AviD

13:34

like a button that is too blue - it is simple to change, and look! he added value.

Simon

I would like to make an announcement this morning.

AviD

or a chess game, with an animated duck that goes wherever the queen goes.

Simon

I still haven't died from my severe cold but this should happen soon enough. If you have something to tell me before I go back to hell, it's now or never.

AviD

@Simon youre an announcement.

Simon

Or until Satan gets annoyed too much by me again.

Ohnana

13:35

@Simon can I have your computer

Simon

@Ohnana What would you do with my Macbook?

Ohnana

@Simon sell it on CL

or attempt to put fedora on it

Simon

You don't deserve it then.

AviD

youre a deserveitthen.

#simon

Simon

#me

much fatigue very fatigue w0w

AviD

13:50

@Simon you need a DoubleKick(tm) fakeredbull with added mate and guarana

Simon

Or to absolutely molest this cup of coffee.

COME HERE CUP OF COFFEE

AviD

I ONLY WANT TO TALK

I WONT HURT YOU

Simon

WE'RE JUST GONNA WATCH A MOVIE

@kalina Did you ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?

Also @Ohnana.

Ohnana

@Simon eh?

Simon

@Ohnana "Wanna come at my place tonight? We'll just watch a movie"

Ohnana

13:57

@Simon people don't proposition me

Simon

o

You're such a downer.

Ohnana

@Simon you asked

Simon

DOWNER.

Also, were you Canadian in another life?

AviD

@Simon FTFY

Simon

WHY WOULD YOU FIX THAT?

AviD

13:59

@Simon FTFY

Ohnana

@Simon i don't have other lives. just this one

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