The DMZ

kalina

13:03

@FEichinger fine fine, but you only get to use it until I control your mind and turn you into my ~~slave~~ ~~pet~~ ...nevermind

2

perhaps you should know that
every now and again I
need to be entertained
in order to control my boredom
since I get bored easily

beautiful is the sun
orange and hanging in the sky
revelling in its warmth
even after sunset...
don't know what to put here, too bored

FEichinger

@kalina I already am your slave pet, as far as I can tell.

kalina

slave and pet are two different things

you can't be both at once

FEichinger

slave/pet. Blam

Adnan

►

FEichinger

...e mobile.

Fuck this. I'm going back to climbing stairs.

kalina

13:16

I wondered what was going on there

you're not much of a blam kind of person

speaking of blam kind of people

hello @Simon

Simon

IT'S ME!

o

kalina

it's you

the turkey

you were the turkey all along

Simon

I thought I was the turtle

Scott Pack

@Adnan San Francisco is a pretty nice city. Also fantastic weather.

kalina

@ScottPack potential for some life destruction in the blink of an eye though

@Simon Wipqozn is the turtle

you're not classy enough to be a turtle

Simon

13:18

How do you even pronounce that?

kalina

pronounce what?

Adnan

@ScottPack I actually considered it. They seem to have a entry-medium security position. Those guys went from 30 employees to 1500 in 2-3 years. They're doing something right.

kalina

@Adnan yeah, they're fantastic at running up debt

Scott Pack

@kalina As opposed to someplace that has "wildfire season" or "tornado season" or "hurricane season"?

Adnan

@kalina Pardon?

Scott Pack

13:20

@Adnan Or they're about to implode. That's a pretty scary growth curve.

kalina

@ScottPack not really as instant or intense as an earthquake are they?

Terry Chia

@ScottPack Isn't that fairly typical of a SF startup in an area that requires a lot of support staff?

Adnan

@Scott But I really can't see why they might wanna hire me instead of a US resident/citizen.

Scott Pack

@kalina Earthquakes don't scare me nearly as much as tornados or hurricanes. They tend to be much less destructive overall.

kalina

@Adnan it was clearly a joke

Terry Chia

13:21

I'm assuming most of that amount aren't devs or tech guys.

Simon

@kalina Wipqozn

Adnan

@TerryChia @Scott airbnb.com/jobs#homePositions

Scott Pack

@TerryChia That's a damn near unsustainable growth curve. It says to me that they are either at the upper end of their overall growth or they're forcing it and will likely implode.

Adnan

Holy shit! They added positions outside the US

kalina

@ScottPack true but the next cascadia fault will likely be quite messy

@Simon I do not possess the language to answer you

Simon

13:22

ABDUCTION

Adnan

@Terry Ha? Haaa airbnb.com/jobs/locations/singapore

Terry Chia

@ScottPack We are talking about SF startups right? Sustainable growth typically isn't the goal.

kalina

I've heard him say it on mumble but putting that into words... ain't nobody got time for that

Simon

Agreed

Adnan

Accounting Manager Terry Chia

Simon

13:23

It looks le fucked-

Terry Chia

@Adnan Ewwww. That's worse than HR Manager @RoryAlsop.

kalina

Janitor Simon

Simon

@kalina I keep asking Jeff if they need a janitor at FB.

kalina

you should take the message and give up if you can't even get a janitor job

Simon

o

Scott Pack

13:25

@TerryChia I also don't like the idea of jumping companies so unless I can see myself staying someplace for a large number of years (let's say 7-10) I'm not sure it's worth it to me.

kalina

I'm bored

Terry Chia

@ScottPack That's not the mindset in SF though. It's create $STARTUP, get huge growth in 3-4 years and get acquired by $BIGCORP.

Simon

Then listen to Broken Glass by Geck-o

Terry Chia

Then you can go relax on a beach for the rest of your days.

kalina

@Simon no

@TerryChia I intend to do this

Terry Chia

13:26

@kalina dot dot dot

kalina

probably ~5-10 years from now

Simon

cuz ufat

kalina

in fact, I'm practising said thing this weekend by being in ibiza all weekend

Scott Pack

@TerryChia Sounds terrible.

kalina

@ScottPack it's all about the money

Scott Pack

13:30

Phaw.

kalina

arranging lines of code to create millions of dollars

and stock options

gotta remember the stock options

Simon

You look like a line of code.

Terry Chia

@Simon Is that a pickup line?

Simon

@TerryChia Yes Terry, you can add it to your playbook.

kalina

it will never work, don't bother

Simon

13:35

You'll never work.

kalina

bee
ohh
rrr
eee
dee

technically, I've already completed the work I require of myself today

I woke up super early with an idea in my head and made a track out of it

Simon

I don't understand how you can be bored.

You like music, don't you? Go for a car ride and listen to some muzyk

kalina

that seems wasteful

Simon

Peaceful would be the proper term.

kalina

it certainly won't be peaceful

Simon

13:38

I did it a lot this winter to get things out of my head.

And was enjoying my AWD like a baws

kalina

explain to me what exactly is peaceful about roadworks, speed cameras, rush hour traffic, school traffic, traffic lights, idiot drivers, etc?

Simon

Ah, I guess I forgot one point, it was about 10 PM when I did those rides.

kalina

right

ok sure, I'll go out for a nice peaceful drive in seven hours

what do I do between now and then?

Terry Chia

@Simon Plus it's Canada.

Simon

@kalina Don't you have a project you'd like to spend your time on, something that you could dedicate yourself to?

kalina

13:41

not really no

Kisunminttu

@Simon kalina's cakes

kalina

my hearing isn't still fully fixed so I can't mix anything down

Simon

@TerryChia Yup, mooses and polar bears are asleep at that time.

kalina

and I'm still writing new material

so I'm basically fulfilling all contractual obligations

Simon

Do you enjoy it?

kalina

13:42

I could do more, but that's just more listening to loud music

do I enjoy what? Not going to work on a daily basis?

yes

Simon

lulz

kalina

Waking up and sleeping pretty much whenever I want to?

yes

Simon

Well, you seem to be bored which means that you might not enjoy it that much.

Terry Chia

@AviD @RоryMcCune You know that thing about cribbing content from SE for a crypto guide? I was bored enough to start work on it. Let's see how far I get.

kalina

@Simon I don't enjoy the sitting around in the middle

there are so many hours in the day

Simon

13:43

I wish there would be more.

kalina

MOAR?

Simon

Moar.

kalina

once you take "driving to/from work" and all the stupid day to day structure that comes with a day job out of the day

there are so many hours

Simon

That's 1/24 of my day.

kalina

@Simon more

don't forget that lunch break in the middle of the day that your employer isn't flexible over

and any other breaks you may or may not have to take but not taking them doesn't refund you the time

Simon

13:45

Ah, I go to lunch whenever I want.

#yolo

2

kalina

me too

in fact, I might go to lunch right now

or, I might go to sleep, start a new day at 6pm, and go for lunch at 2am

Simon

Lunch sounds amazing and it's 9:45 AM, le fu

kalina

I had breakfast at 4am this morning

Kisunminttu

@Simon 4:46 PM

kalina

McDonald's being open 24/7...

dangerous to my health

Simon

13:47

@Kisunminttu How is it on Mars?

kalina

McDonald's salads, "not suitable for vegetarians" and contain more calories than a Big Mac

Kisunminttu

@Simon Pretty good. A little dry for my herbs, need to water them constantly.

Simon

@kalina Do they really?

Kisunminttu

...aaaand I want a Big Mac.

kalina

@Kisunminttu dry is good, they smoke better

Simon

13:48

@Kisunminttu Poor herbs.

Kisunminttu

Been about 12 years since I last had one

kalina

@Simon I actually don't know

Kisunminttu

@kalina Yes, I love my purple basil dried

Simon

PURPLE RAIN, PURPLE RAIN

kalina

@Simon fat content, that's what my lie was based on

However, anyone hoping the salad option will help battle the bulge should read the nutritional information on the McDonald's website.

It shows that ditching the burger for a salad is no good for slimmers.

For with dressing and croutons it contains 425 calories and 21.4g of fat, compared with the 253 calories and 7.7g of fat in the standard burger.

Adding a portion of fries to your burger brings the calorie count to 459 - still less fatty than the salad at 16.7g.

Simon

13:49

ew

kalina

oh it is calories as well

heh

go figure

that's old though, they might have fixed it

Simon

I wanna marry Geck-o

Is it normal that I want to marry some dude?

kalina

in some states

Simon

States are for noodles.

kalina

noodles are for your face

Simon

13:52

My face <3

kalina

your face does not invoke <3 in me

@Kisunminttu never smoked basil so I wouldn't know!

Kisunminttu

@kalina What a coincidence, me neither!

kalina

we have so much in common

let's be friends

3

well

that settles that then!

at least none of you hate me, because nobody said "no"

but SINCE YOU ALL WENT SILENT that means you didn't say "yes" either

Lighty

maybe

kalina

sets fire to @Lighty

I may have no friends but that doesn't make me that desperate!

Simon

13:58

@kalina Of course it doesn't, you've never seen it.

kalina

@Simon I have, something that ugly burned itself onto my retinas

Lighty

@kalina let me tip the scales and jsut state im kinda out of your luague....

grabs popcorn

kalina

@Lighty well obviously, I'm at the finish line and you're just way too far behind

Terry Chia

@Lighty hahahahahahahahaha

@Lighty hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Lighty

@kalina not the response i hoped, needs more testing

kalina

14:00

great, @Terry started laughing

Lighty

give him his pills before he goes at it again

kalina

@Lighty you can't throw me off with lines like this

Simon

@kalina YOU HAVEN'T

Terry Chia

@kalina Yeah, you are both huge fans of @Adnan.

AviD

@Simon you're not qualified to be a janitor at Facebook.

kalina

14:01

@TerryChia I'm not a fan of Adnan, Adnan is just zis guy, you know?

Lighty

@kalina oh really now?

what if i state you're fat :3

kalina

@Lighty nope

Lighty

dangit

Simon

shefat

kalina

you can't call somebody who weighs 50kg fat

Simon

14:02

udead

Lighty

you're heavier then me

so i can call you fatter

:D

kalina

@Lighty you are a child...

AviD

@TerryChia very cool. you should ask on meta for contributions, even starting from what the topics should even be.

Terry Chia

@AviD Of course not, the janitors at FB require a PhD in comp sci and 5 years of experience in PHP.

Lighty

im skinny, not a child

AviD

14:03

I did notice that even starting at that point the owasp crypto guide is more like mis-guide.

Simon

@TerryChia That would make no sense considering that Zuck dropped out of College.

kalina

@Lighty aren't you like 17?

Lighty

yup

thats not a child, 17-y-olds are worse, they're teens

AviD

@Simon wow. I step out for a few minutes, and the children get delusions of grandeur. or even survival.

kalina

@Lighty 17 year old guy weighs less than me, and I'm classed as underweight

Terry Chia

14:04

@AviD I'll see how far I get this couple of days first. I tend to get bored of a single project quick you know... :P

kalina

1 min ago, by Simon

udead

Terry Chia

I do have some of chapters and questions/answers in mind already.

Lighty

im underweight/riskunderweight too kalina

Simon

@AviD Of grandeur? When did you start learning French?

kalina

@Lighty still, calling me fat is laughable, I know that I'm not fat

Lighty

14:05

i was only trying to make you explode

no success so far

Simon

You're a woman, you always have doubts about your weight.

Lighty

throws gasoline drenched pillows at @kalina

kalina

@Simon nope

AviD

@Simon how is that french? Are you illiterate in two languages?

3

Lighty

do something funny

kalina

14:05

@Lighty I am immune to fire

Adnan

@kalina Great THGTTG reference

kalina

@AviD Canadian French != French

Terry Chia

@Simon That's sexist.

kalina

@Adnan thanks

Simon

WHOA I CAN'T REPLY TO EVERYONE THIS FAST

IT'S TIME FOR A LIGHTNING REPLY RUN!!!!

@kalina YES

@AviD I'M SURE IT WAS STOLEN FROM FRENCH

kalina

14:06

@AviD Canadian French is to French what American English is to English

AviD

@kalina awwwwkwaaard.

Simon

@TerryChia ABSOLUTELY

Lighty

@simon hi

kalina

the French have the same defensive reaction as the British towards the Americas stealing their language, getting it wrong and then calling it the same name as the original language

Lighty

@Simon >:

kalina

14:07

@Simon I so want to flag this

it will be over so quickly as well

I don't flag

Simon

Me neither, I don't get offended by da interwebz.

Lighty

dont flag, bored and mean people come to ruin all the fun

Simon

^ he has a point

Lighty

pokes Simon with a stick do something funny

AviD

@Lighty get him to start yoloing again, that'll get him kicked real quick. Always good for a laugh...

Lighty

14:12

hehe

Simon

YO THE FUCK LO

Lighty

hey @Simon, i bet you don't dare to jumo infront of a train while screaming your favourite word

AviD

@Simon Valar marghulis.

Rory Alsop

Hey @Simon - gonnae no dae that, eh

Simon

ok soz

Rory Alsop

14:22

(It was fine until it got to the top of the star wall)

►

^ in case the dialect was tricky

Simon

Sometimes, I think that people star my stuff mostly to get me in trouble.

5

kalina

@Simon maybe

also, you sound like GnomeSlice at the moment

Simon

Hey, I haven't seen him in a while.

kalina

me either!

probably due to not being in the bridge and/or on steam

boredom

boreeee

borrrrrreeeddddddo00000000hehehehhh3h3h3h3h3

you're right

I need a second thing to do in my life

Simon

A man.

One day you'll realize that's all you ever wanted.

kalina

14:37

six centuries ago, the last visitor from earth entered my world - now its your turn to feel the pain
the gates are open: pain, anger, hate, fear, chaos, darkness, evil, hell
gate one; darkness, the world of demons, look around you, they're everywhere
gate two; my guards are watching you
gate three; only evil lives here
gate four; there's no way out
gate five; feel the fire
gate six; pick up your weapons and fight
fight! and dance with the devil

Simon

There's something missing in those lyrics.

You forgot about the gate 7

kalina

there's only six

that's why the song is called "the sixth gate"

that, mr simon, is the sound of inevitability

Simon

How did you know that my last name is also Simon?

Rory Alsop

@kalina so you do happy club tunes too, right?

kalina

@RoryAlsop sixth gate is hardly happy

sixth gate would make most music you listen to sound as cheerful as the my little pony soundtrack

Rory Alsop

14:43

@kalina happy fight?

kalina

(minor exaggeration)

@RoryAlsop I'm currently working on a Katy Perry-esque pop track, just so I can feel I have fully explored "selling out" without feeling I've actually sold out

where "currently working on" is "I made something the other day that..."

with pop stuff though I wonder if it would just work out better if I sold the ideas rather than produced them myself

since I don't really want to do the whole public relations thing

Rory Alsop

@kalina it does seem to work, however then you still need to do the 'relationships with the other parties' bit

kalina

@RoryAlsop I can handle other dealing with professionals in my industry

Simon

Is the artist D-Devils?

kalina

it's dealing with the public that I can't be bothered with

Canadian Luke

14:52

Is asking why a firewall isn't working on a server on topic for Information Security?

kalina

no

Canadian Luke

OK, thanks :)

Simon

Probably a configuration matter which means that it wouldn't be on topic.

kalina

probably superuser or server fault

Canadian Luke

OK, thanks guys.

Lighty

14:56

atleast tell him where he could ask it, isntead of closing and being an arse and not saying anything

that would help the poor guy

kalina

at least read what has been said before being an arse and saying something

that would help yourself.

Lighty

i am beyond help

Simon

@Lighty What are you on about you donut?

Lighty

@Simon chocolate

kalina

whoever thought it was a good idea to leave a packet of pins on my desk is stupid

Rory Alsop

15:03

@kalina better than leaving them on your chair...

kalina

how much does a developer cost per year

Rory Alsop

@kalina how good a one do you want :-)

kalina

3d multiplayer game good

Terry Chia

@kalina I think you will need more than one developer.

kalina

well obviously

and designers

but that wasn't my question

don't try and ridicule me by making assumptions

Rory Alsop

15:10

@kalina that just makes a sumo of asp and tins

2

Rоry McCune

ya know, I realised today I couldn't remember all the songs off Use your Illusions I and II ... time for a GnR marathon !

Rory Alsop

@RоryMcCune definitely. Then seriously look into getting the new Slash album

Rоry McCune

@RoryAlsop ooh new slash album, one to look out for..

Rory Alsop

@RоryMcCune you have the previous one, right? Well, I think Miles Kennedy is doing all the vocals on this one

Rоry McCune

@RoryAlsop ya know I've not been keeping up on slash's stuff... need to go see what they have on Spotify...

TildalWave

15:17

@AviD I meant to agree with @tylerl and that even its explanation doesn't make any sense.

AviD

@TildalWave and I was amused by that summary which says nothing, but agrees with you both.

he does have some niche humour though, doesnt he.

Rory Alsop

@TildalWave it does if you ever studied literature :-)

And I see Nealmcb posted one of the comments - it's amazing where the usual suspects crop up :-)

TildalWave

@RoryAlsop I did some in high school, and I understand the explanation, but I still don't understand the comic

AJ Henderson

@ThomasPornin - out of curiosity, does the related key attack actually make AES-256 weaker than AES-128 or does it simply lose more bits?

I mean, AES-256 would have to lose 129 bits to be more easily attacked right?

or did I radically mis-understand the related key attacks when they came out

Thomas Pornin

@AJHenderson Apparently is really makes AES-256 "weaker" (in the quite esoteric context of related-key attacks)

something like down to 2^100 for AES-256 vs 2^125 for AES-128

AJ Henderson

15:30

wow

Scott Pack

That's what she said.

AJ Henderson

I'll have to re-read the related key stuff again

I remember hearing about it, but saw the "it doesn't really practically matter" and didn't fully dig in to it

Thomas Pornin

It somehow makes sense. Related-key attacks work on how the key schedule mixes data, and AES-256 has twice more key material to mix with only 40% extra rounds to do it.

Related-key attacks matter when you try to use the block cipher as a hash function in a Merkle-Damgård construction.

AJ Henderson

yeah, I see how it could make a difference, I just never realized how large of a difference it could be for the right key

well thanks for pointing it out, additional reading for me to do at some point

AviD

@ThomasPornin whoa, wait what? @AJHenderson can you link some info on this? I'm asking you, not @ThomasPornin, so I will have a hope of understanding what you send... :-)

@ThomasPornin and typically, unless once is being stupid, when should that actually happen normally?

AJ Henderson

15:41

@Avid - I'll have to do some digging later, but I may end up reading up on highly technical stuff if I can't find a good summary that provides the level of detail I would be looking for

I did actually do graduate level cryptography studies, so generally the crazy advanced papers at least make some amount of sense

Thomas Pornin

@AviD Related-key attacks are what happens when the attacker can get some data he chooses encrypted with two keys that he does not know, but for which he knows the difference between the keys (say, the XOR of the two unknown keys).

AviD

@ThomasPornin and why should the attacker know that difference?

e.g. if one is derived from the other? That doesnt sound smart.

Thomas Pornin

@AviD As I said, it is not a practical attack context.

It is more a theoretical toy.

AviD

@ThomasPornin ahh okay.

Thomas Pornin

Resistance to related-key attacks was not part of the design requirements of AES>

AviD

15:45

and there is always the general reccomendation that youse guise always say, dont reuse keys.

Related keys seems... related, somehow.

AJ Henderson

it is mostly practical if there ends up being a problem in a PRNG or key selection algorithm

so it more makes other weaknesses more critical

and shows that there are some mathematical playthings that can be done

which may or may not mean there are other undiscovered interesting properties

Thomas Pornin

A block cipher which is resistant to related-key attacks becomes a more useful building block for other algorithms, e.g. hash functions.

AviD

ahh I see what you're saying. So not so much an attack, per se, but interesting mathematical attributes, amplifying one weakness into critical levels.

so as we always say, one small mistake in crypto, and it all breaks down.

though this makes me feel that crypto is rather fragile, wouldnt you say?

Thomas Pornin

So it is not an uninteresting feature in abstracto; it just fails to be really relevant when the block cipher is used for actually doing block cipher things (i.e. encrypting stuff).

@AviD Hey, that's the core problem. Crypto is fragile.

AviD

@ThomasPornin oh definitely interesting, even to us plebes who barely understand what you're saying. But it's not a question of security right now, in applied systems.

@ThomasPornin CRYPTO SHOULD BE SOLID

Simon

15:51

SOLID AS ROCK

AviD

LIKE GRANITE

TRIPLE PLY STEEL

Thomas Pornin

@AviD And pigs should fly.

AviD

heh

Thomas Pornin

A flying pig would have powerful breast muscle, making for great magrets.

AviD

@ThomasPornin harder to hunt for bacon.

might not fry as well, if there is less fat.

kalina

15:54

BORED

BOREDDDDD

boredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredbored

boredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredbored

boredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredbored

boredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredbored

Simon

ok

kalina

boredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredboredbored

AviD

►

kalina

sorry, brief filtering failure

AviD

:16145271 you could probably make some money from that.

Simon

15:59

lulz

David Freitag

16:35

@kalina There is always one surefire way to cure boredom.

Simon

Cocaine

3

FEichinger

18:42

Hometime. Legs hurt. Walking up and down those stairs is some gorram pain.

David Freitag

@FEichinger Whiskey will solve all of your troubles.

FEichinger

@David Sadly no, because I have another day of this crap ahead of me in ... 12 hours.

But this time the wearing-a-suit-watching-some-monitors-in-a-container-next-to-the-stage kind, rather than climbing towers and configuring network infrastructure.

Transcript for