The Comms Room

Journeyman Geek

00:06

@Wesley: oh, there's a tool that lets you treat text files like a database. Let me pull it up - it might make your life a little easier

github.com/dinedal/textql not sure how much of the sql syntax it covers but...

Joel E Salas

ughghghghghg

sed -e 's/[[:digit:]].*//' but I want to keep [[:digit:]]... ideas?

ohhhhohohhhohhhh.... nope that didn't work

Wesley

@JourneymanGeek Nice! See - dude... you know what I'm going to say.

=P

Journeyman Geek

@Wesley: That they don't realise how much forensic analysis they do, it would have been a smart thing to hire someone who knows this shit? ;p

Wesley

@JourneymanGeek Yes.

:D

I want to start dickbuttasaservice.io

Who's with me?!

Journeyman Geek

lol

cole

00:19

dickbuttasaservice.wtf

Ry Jones

you can get engraved AR15 lowers with dickbutt and graphic on them

cole

haha

Journeyman Geek

o0

Ry Jones

said lowers

cole

man - $25 for a .wtf domain

Wesley

00:21

@cole Worth it

cole

cole.wtf

is available

Wesley

devops.wtf

redirect it to Jenkins

cole

cole.dating

Journeyman Geek

I wonder if carbon.dating exists ;p

Wesley

@JourneymanGeek I wonder if yourmom.dating exists

cole

00:23

Look at my outrageous gas bill!

Total Amount Due: 21.20

Journeyman Geek

o0

cole

It was $19 last month.

haha cole.in would be a bit hilarious.

Ry Jones

well I guess that's it for today

cole

cole.toys - that's suggestive.

Falcon Momot

00:57

!!!

also: ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow

Journeyman Geek

what did you do this time? ;p

Falcon Momot

lol

finished up a bunch of ink

the lower half of my right sleeve is basically done now

@Wesley! Cat! Did you determine why it was that logstash was dropping everything?

ewwhite

Yeah, that's not good. If you need some HP equipment to replace this... I have a source ;) — ewwhite 12 secs ago

Falcon Momot

yes, some HP equipment for playing CS: Source sounds great.

Wesley

01:15

@FalconMomot IT just got smashed with volume. Couldn't handle it all at once.

Solution: RabbitMQ and logstash workers pulling from stacks

Journeyman Geek

@FalconMomot ....

declares @FalconMomot a heretic and an anethema. And bashes him over the head with a book, bell and candlestick.

ewwhite

@Iain You online?

Wesley

Slaps @JourneymanGeek about the face and groin with a python

Journeyman Geek

ow

reculated or burmese?

Wesley

Retiumesilated

Suddenly I want to use XBMC on my Raspberry pi

To stream Twitch.tv

Because I'm just that big of an asshole.

No, I'll stream college humor.

addons.xbmc.org/show/plugin.video.collegehumor

Journeyman Geek

01:34

lol

I'm pondering throwing MPD on mine at the moment

there's apparently a controller app for it on android so... poor man's sonos ;p

I need to see if my mom's sound system has any spare inputs though

Falcon Momot

@JourneymanGeek doom on you!

@Wesley yuk

@Jacob death to spies!

Jacob

@FalconMomot I'm on a plane!

Journeyman Geek

@FalconMomot: I'm a firm believer a proper gaming rig, much like a lightsaber, needs to be built by its user ;p

Falcon Momot

hmm, this girl I was casually dating was just passing through the coffee shop I'm in, on her way out... hasn't seen me in about a month and a half; didn't even say hi.

I'm debating whether to text her something, or forget it

Journeyman Geek

yes

Falcon Momot

01:38

yes?

@Jacob cool. it should land.

Jacob

@FalconMomot should?!?!

Falcon Momot

shouldn't it? would you like to be on the flying dutchman plane?

Jacob

@FalconMomot I was hoping for a touch more certainty.

Falcon Momot

@Jacob you'd be looking for death and taxes then I think

Wesley

@FalconMomot Oh it'll land. It's the velocity and vector of the landing that's the trick

Falcon Momot

01:41

MH17 didn't land.

Wesley

@FalconMomot It did, just lots of little landings. Lots.

Too soon?

Falcon Momot

so it's the velocity, vector, and mechanism that matter.

Wesley

@FalconMomot Yeah, you want one big part to land at a controlled velocity and a comfortable vector. =P

Jacob

@FalconMomot I'll yield.

Falcon Momot

well

in particular you want it to fall slowly to the ground in a stall initiated from slow flight not more than about 50' above the runway surface and at or near the threshold...

in a slightly nose up attitude, with extended landing gear if applicable, and running engines.

in a latitudinal attitude such that at the moment of touchdown the lateral velocity is zero.

and also such that the nose is on the centre line of a runway.

(that by the way is why landing planes is hard)

Jacob

01:46

@FalconMomot center ish

Falcon Momot

@Jacob you want it to be exact.

hmph. I think I should text this girl but I have no idea what to say.

Wesley

@FalconMomot "How far is that stick up your butt, putain!"

Too direct?

Falcon Momot

wow

totally the wrong thing to say

Wesley

"Fairest darling, I noticed forthwith that you didn't acknowledge my masculine presence. Hast I offended?"

How's that?

Falcon Momot

I'm looking for something more like "hey, does the fact that you haven't responded to my two texts since toorcamp and didn't acknowledge me after I tried to catch your glance mean you don't want to talk to me again ever? or did you just not notice?"

Jacob

01:53

@MarkHenderson Where are you?

Wesley

@FalconMomot Nah, don't even ask for validation. Just text her direct. "Hey, saw you when I was in XYZ coffee place but I couldn't get your attention. I'm headed to the movies this weekend. Come with me."

@Jacob I hear he's in Australia.

Falcon Momot

right. I'll invite her for drinks this weekend tomorrow.

and if she ignores that too I'll just assume we're over.

Wesley

@FalconMomot There you go

@FalconMomot Exact-a-mundo.

Journeyman Geek

notepadconf.com

snort

Jacob

@Wesley I was referring to the lack of chat presence.

Falcon Momot

01:55

@JourneymanGeek wtf

Wesley

@Jacob Mark's in Australia. He's probably been chatting with us for the last hour but stevedores are still unboxing the packets in LA harbor right now.

Journeyman Geek

in the comments...

"I would like to offer a workshop on "Integrating Spell Checking Into Notepad." Attendees should bring a copy of Notepad, and a dictionary"

Jacob

Ugh this southwest proxy server is failing miserably

Falcon Momot

@Jacob you will eventually land.

did you find an apartment?

Jacob

@FalconMomot Yes

Falcon Momot

01:58

where?

Jacob

I found one before I left Seattle last time

@FalconMomot West seattle

Falcon Momot

aah

Jacob

@FalconMomot youngstownflats.com

Falcon Momot

those are pretty nice, but expensive

well it is west seattle I guess

Jacob

@FalconMomot Such is life. It's nice though.

@FalconMomot I mean, the avg for what I have was from ~1200-1500

Falcon Momot

02:06

yuck

my mortgage in calgary, which is considered to be in a housing bubble, is like $650

Jacob

@FalconMomot What does your Seattle apt cost?

Falcon Momot

1150

Jacob

@FalconMomot So not too much different

Falcon Momot

only about 20% different yeah :P

a friend of mine recently criticized me with some accuracy: "you convert all your liquid assets rapidly into capital assets"

shrug

Mark Henderson

@Jacob working

Falcon Momot

02:11

@MarkHenderson Slavery!

Jacob

@MarkHenderson :(

Mark Henderson

@FalconMomot I wasted 90 minutes staring at IPSec logs last night just to eventualyl find out that Mikrotik routers don't support IKEv2 and thus you can't do dynamic routing over IPSec connections with them

that was slavery

Wesley

@FalconMomot I hate you.

@MarkHenderson Fuck Mikrotik routers in the eye socket.

Mark Henderson

@FalconMomot A.. week?

Wesley

Mikrotik is the SuperMicro of networking.

Mark Henderson

02:13

@Wesley I've been super pleased with them right up until last night, but apparently the next version of the OS will do IKEv2

Falcon Momot

@MarkHenderson a month.

Mark Henderson

@Wesley I would believe that. But they've also been rock solid for me, I now have 5 of them. Also: I have about 6 SuperMicro servers and they've been faultless as well.

Wesley

@MarkHenderson Just like SuperMicro, it can be valuable if expectations are set right and it's used in the right scenario.

Mark Henderson

@FalconMomot Fuck you

Falcon Momot

<3

Mark Henderson

02:14

Mine is that per week

Falcon Momot

said mortgage is on a studio condo apartment

Wesley

@MarkHenderson How much did you have to put down?

Mark Henderson

@Wesley We paid 130k deposit

Falcon Momot

!!!

you are worth a fortune

I'm pretty sure I owe as much as I own.

voretaq7

@FalconMomot mine is 500 on a studio, yours is probably in a better area than mine tho :P

Wesley

02:15

@MarkHenderson Mother of Zeus.

@voretaq7 Ghetto dweller.

Mark Henderson

@FalconMomot We bought my house (in a solidly neighbourhood suburb wayyy out nowhere near the CBD) for $540,000 and it was run-down. With our fixes and with the current market it's probably worth 580k

Falcon Momot

@voretaq7 in calgary, far northeast in the crime and immigrant district, but right by a train station ;) Also new construction.

voretaq7

►

Mark Henderson

@Wesley That was the entire equity in the apartment (condo?) that we sold

voretaq7

@FalconMomot city-data.com/nbmaps/neigh-Freeport-New-York.html

Wesley

02:16

@MarkHenderson Yeah there's no equity in what we call "apartments" here.

voretaq7

but I can see the train station from my roof

Falcon Momot

lol, experts exchange is advertising one month free all over facebook

idk why anyone would pay for that

voretaq7

@FalconMomot <resists urge to correct spelling>

Falcon Momot

@voretaq7 there is no error in that.

voretaq7

@FalconMomot You misspelt expert sexchange!

Falcon Momot

02:18

ahahahahaha

Mark Henderson

@Wesley Mine was in a very average suburb, but it was literally 20 meters from a train station and a 40 minute commute to the city and was in a neat and tidy building with nice neighbours

Wesley

@MarkHenderson We'd typically call that a condo, yeah. Condos have leases.

Mark Henderson

And it was 2 train stops from a large university

Wesley

Sounds like you did some smart financial things early in life.

I'm 3 years older than you and like 12 years behind you financially, and relationshiply

=P

Mark Henderson

@Wesley Angela made me do it. If it weren't for her I would have a fast car with stripes and 20" rims and no money in the bank

Falcon Momot

02:19

I probably have no prospects there.

financially... maybe someday.

Mark Henderson

@Wesley A wife does wonders for your financial responsibility

Falcon Momot

I seem totally unable to uphold a steady relationship.

or engage in one to begin with

Wesley

@MarkHenderson It's just all the other risks I'm not keen on. =P

Falcon Momot

I mean, I guess it could be worse; I could have a prison warden of a wife like half my friends do

no wife at all is better than that

Mark Henderson

@FalconMomot Buy a responsible family car, borrow a nephew and start hanging out at his/her soccer games

And lose the mohawk

Falcon Momot

02:21

@MarkHenderson why in the name of god would I do that?

Mark Henderson

You'll ahve yummy mummies all over you in no time

voretaq7

@FalconMomot . . . never marry a CO!

Falcon Momot

I'm 25. there is no need for me to be in that market.

Mark Henderson

@FalconMomot There are plenty of 25-30 year old MILFs

Trust me on that one

Falcon Momot

yes, with whom I want nothing to do.

my criteria are exacting: likes me for who I am, and responsible.

Mark Henderson

02:22

@FalconMomot THey have a kid and have taken them to soccer and you know they put out. How much more responsibility do you want?

If they had a kid and left them in a cupboard so they would shut the fuck up, perhaps that one you want to avoid

Falcon Momot

oh there also are no nephews

and I don't think I'd want to be a walk-in father.

Mark Henderson

@FalconMomot Well I dunno, just throwing ideas out there

Falcon Momot

lol

I wonder what happened to that time when I was 20?

Mark Henderson

Anyway thanks for distracting me now I have to work again

Falcon Momot

yup. slaving away.

Wesley

02:25

My datacenter suuuuuuucks

Falcon Momot

@Wesley You work for a devil. you expected what?

Wesley

@FalconMomot This is the one I used while consulting.

Falcon Momot

@Wesley well, you are the devil. you expected what exactly?

Wesley

My datacenter is a local ISP's 10k square foot, climate controlled, cricket graveyard.

voretaq7

Wesley

02:28

@voretaq7 Needs moar crickets!

voretaq7

M O A R ?

Falcon Momot

Wesley

@voretaq7 Wow, that thing could help me unrack my 5u server. Put that bro on the bottom.

voretaq7

►

Falcon Momot

nope, forced 30 second advertisement

voretaq7

02:30

@FalconMomot thats ok the still image is most of it

they dance

Falcon Momot

cool

voretaq7

my ex would be screaming and wetting himself right about now

Scott Pack

So A) The Peacock Spider is almost as awesome as the mantis shrimp.

B) How do humans survive in Australia? I still don't understand.

Journeyman Geek

animals.io9.com/…

Cause sometimes the dangerous things are out for vengence on other dangerous things.

Scott Pack

> Australia: Where the only thing that protects you from the deadly wildlife is that the deadly wildlife keeps killing each other.

Yeah, that sounds about right.

Wesley

02:46

@ScottPack Australia: Death is your only solace.

That and the hot girls in Brisbane.

Scott Pack

You mean @MarkHenderson's sister?

Mark Henderson

@JourneymanGeek Have peopel already forgotten that we had a snake that ate a crocodile a few months back?

Journeyman Geek

@Wesley: the hot girls in brisbane are probably to distract you when the dropbears come.

Mark Henderson

@Wesley OH HEY my cousin lives in Brisbane and now that she is of age she's very pretty

She is also the only one not married out of her 4 siblings (she is the youngest)

Wesley

@MarkHenderson Hook a brother up!

You're the one trying to marry me off.

Falcon Momot

03:02

@MarkHenderson only magically when she became of age? :P

relatedly:

^ @MarkHenderson's sister taking a selfie

Scott Pack

@FalconMomot HAWT!

Falcon Momot

@ScottPack you beast.

Scott Pack

Why you gotta be a hater? You shouldn't be so closed minded.

Wesley

@FalconMomot Would. Totally would.

Falcon Momot

@ScottPack beast can be a term of endearment. I'd've said monster otherwise.

@Wesley you monster.

Scott Pack

03:08

@FalconMomot Sorry, my Canadian to English translator is a bit off.

Falcon Momot

wow, silence?

Journeyman Geek

lol

got distracted by an interesting problem elsewhere

Falcon Momot

I'm trying to be distracted by an uninteresting problem

in 40min I am going to the bar. if everyone is at defcon and nobody is at the bar, I'm going home.

Scott Pack

I got home from the bar about 4 hours ago.

Falcon Momot

@ScottPack that's because you're old.

Scott Pack

03:20

Falcon Momot

Mark Henderson

@FalconMomot She's my cousin so I'm not particularly interested in giving her the motorboat

Unlike the last girl that @Wesley missed the boat with, who was my step cousin which makes it totally fine

Falcon Momot

heh

Wesley

@MarkHenderson Wait which one was her and why did I drop the ball?

Scott Pack

@FalconMomot Now my white hair is migrating from my beard to my chest.

Mark Henderson

03:22

@Wesley The ranga

The stawberry blonde

And she got married

Scott Pack

Aren't all Australian women strawberry blondes?

Mark Henderson

@ScottPack They're not all Nicole Kidman

Wesley

@MarkHenderson Aww. =(

Scott Pack

I didn't say that.

But they should be.

Wesley

Mother fucker!!

That's 'spensive.

Journeyman Geek

03:23

@Wesley: its a loooong way

Falcon Momot

Wesley

@FalconMomot Match made in heaven.

Falcon Momot

heh

Journeyman Geek

and IIRC Sydney's airport has very restricted operating hours

Mark Henderson

@JourneymanGeek Yeah but they break them all the time

Also: How come you know about our airport curfew?

Scott Pack

03:24

@Wesley When I was looking for flights to Paris I found bunches that were Cleveland to CDG with a layover in Moscow.

Wesley

Mark Henderson

@Wesley Thats pretty cheap

Wesley

Well that's not much better

Journeyman Geek

@MarkHenderson: I've been to sydney before

Mark Henderson

It would cost more than that if I do it in reverse I bet

Journeyman Geek

03:25

I have family thereabouts actually

Mark Henderson

@JourneymanGeek Ah cool

Wesley

@MarkHenderson Really? =( How am I going to elope with one of your relatives if it costs that much.

Journeyman Geek

My dad's cousin used to work for the RTA

Wesley

I wonder how long I can stay in Australia before I get kicked out.

Journeyman Geek

@Wesley: Love hurts, ~~Sometimes~~ mostly its your wallet.

Mark Henderson

03:26

@Wesley So I just learned that Phoenix isn't spelt how I thought it was spelt my entire life

When I was told that "Pheonix doesn't exist" and had a red squiggly line

Wesley

@MarkHenderson heh

lawl

Journeyman Geek

Might be american and aussie spellings.

Wesley

Foe-eenix

Pronounced Fee-nix.

@JourneymanGeek don't make me come over there

Mark Henderson

@Wesley One way or return?

Journeyman Geek

@Wesley: not pee-nix?

Mark Henderson

03:28

nvm

I see that's return

That's one way

Falcon Momot

the $30 premium to not have a layover in KORD would be worth it

Wesley

@MarkHenderson return

@MarkHenderson That's awful.

I'm actually going to be getting a passport here shortly.

I should get stamped for Australia, come down there, and you can auction me off.

Falcon Momot

@Wesley your passports have eagles and other ugly things all over them

Wesley

@FalconMomot And bombs and tanks and hulk hogan!

Scott Pack

Plus they're lame ole blue. I like the Argentine red.

Falcon Momot

03:30

it's very Canadian.

Scott Pack

Seems awfully garish.

You sure that isn't French?

Mark Henderson

@Wesley I think American can get tourist vias like free candy

We have a reciprocating agreement with the US with the free trade agreement or something

Scott Pack

@Wesley It's true. Most any country you would want to go to you can get your visa on entry no questions asked.

Falcon Momot

you need one of these:

Wesley

@ScottPack Squeee! I can freeload on Mark!

Can I sleep in your shed @MarkHenderson?

Scott Pack

03:31

Well, except, "Are you smuggling turnips or alcohol in your rectum?" but that's no different than Wednesday.

Mark Henderson

@Wesley I'll do better than that. You can sleep in the study

We plan on getting a futon in there one day

Scott Pack

@FalconMomot That might not go over too well right now. Things are warming up again.

Wesley

@MarkHenderson I'll hunt that brown snake down and kill him with the power of my anger.

Falcon Momot

@ScottPack you do realize that isn't a russian passport :P

Wesley

@FalconMomot that's Japanese, right?

That's Japanese.

Scott Pack

03:33

@FalconMomot I call shenanigans. I see Cryllic. Ergo Russian.

Clearly.

Mark Henderson

@ScottPack hah my parents were in the west bank when those three Israeli teenagers were killed, and the place that they visited is now a pile of rubble and dead bodies

Falcon Momot

@ScottPack "CCCP"

Scott Pack

Why would the Combined Community Codec Pack have a passport?

Falcon Momot

Scott Pack

On that note. Time for this old fart to put away the laptop.

I need sake and reading before bed.

Falcon Momot

03:38

Wesley

I'm sleepy.

I'm out.

May I dream of sassy bogans.

Mark Henderson

@Wesley You want to dream about RFC1918 addresses with attitude?

"Oh no she didn't!" said 10.55.1.0 of 172.16.6.4

Oh wait, that's bogon. nvm.

Falcon Momot

03:54

RFC1918 addresses are not bogons :P

Mark Henderson

@FalconMomot The are if they appear in the wild on the internet

Falcon Momot

that usually makes them martians...

but ok, sometimes, bogons

Journeyman Geek

@FalconMomot eh, isn't that a rice measurement container?

Bob