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Ramhound

01:10

@Mour_Ka What you have done is vandalism of your own contributions which can easily be reverted by a moderator.

@Mour_Ka Additionally you cannot assume the same person downvoted you multiple times.

Journeyman Geek

@Mour_Ka I can see deleted questions. I quite literally see no posts from you on super user.

Ramhound

Was just going to ping ya!

Journeyman Geek

> some one had 2 accounta and made 2 negatuve vote fighting with me on meta because i said there should be rules to control mod control of removing comments and votes.

You have no way to know on the former. I have not seen the latter on MSU or MSE.

also, we cannot remove votes - we have to ask a CM for vote invalidation. Comments are transient and removing them ought to be fine

but I'm pretty certain no one can vote on posts that don't exist.

8 hours later…

Mour_Ka

09:01

He had 2 accounts answering me and i had 2 votes only. If you can see my deleted answer in meta then check the two guys replying as one person. There are a lot of sick people acting nerd and ununpolite thinking themselves expert. I sent answer to ignore votes and be positive i got -4. What kind of people are refusing you to refuse their refusal.

I will respect, ppl deserve respect in here and i will remove and ignore others. I am dragged not to focus on question answers but on votes and i will prevent that even if iam going to make one account per question.

Or to share in other websites or stop sharing or asking at all.

It is not my first negative experience in a year and i see no reaction.

Journeyman Geek

@Mour_Ka You have no meta user on Super User either

I'd take a look, but I quite literally am not seeing any activity on Super User from your account.

Mour_Ka

Give me 10 minutes will show you everything

Somehow i cant open the question again either

The question on meta was

Journeyman Geek

Maybe another account? As a Mod, I can see deleted questions....

Mour_Ka

Is "plating dumb" considered unhelpful?

Is playing dumb considered un helpful?

Journeyman Geek

Who's playing dumb?

Mour_Ka

09:11

It was a question on meta that i answered and i got comments from two accounts as one person

Journeyman Geek

You've made a serious accusation. I cannot find any proof of this happening - I quite literally see no activity from you on SU. I'm trying to ascertain what is the best course of action

Is this meta.superuser? I don't see an account for you there

Mour_Ka

Wait please give me 10 minutes to be on my pc

Journeyman Geek

You don't have enough reputation to post on meta, unless its about one of your own questions, and I see no questions or answers on your account here either.

Please do so.

Mour_Ka

09:27

Can i chat with you on pc

I see i can chat only on cellphone here

Journeyman Geek

eh, I'd rather keep issues in one place.

so lets keep it here please

If you need to get to your PC to check, its fine, I'm doubtful that this is that time sensitive at this point

@Mour_Ka ^ see above. I'd rather not move this off room

Mour_Ka

Yes if you can see what i sent?

A meta link?

Journeyman Geek

could you send it here please?

I see the confusion

@Mour_Ka I'm a moderator on Super User

not math

I cannot do anything on math.se

Mour_Ka

Well all i have done is joining chat for moderators as this is the advice i got

I dont know the difference

Its all meta mathematics

Journeyman Geek

Well, the room is "Ask a Super User Moderator"

Not "ask a mathematics moderator"

If its an issue to do with my site, I'd be glad to help

Mour_Ka

09:38

Well i thought super is a moderater with higher privilage

Journeyman Geek

Its a specific site

Mour_Ka

Then it is my mistake, i will keep on my plane ignoring votes then. I am also sorry for wasting your time.

Plan*

6 hours later…

bwDraco

15:54

So, @JourneymanGeek, tell me more about yourself. You said you were a shut-in for many, many years - how did you gain social skills and a sense of humor?

Journeyman Geek

@bwDraco always had a sense of humour.

Mix of CBT and going back to school.

bwDraco

Is this something I won't be able to work on?

Ramhound

@bwDraco - You put yourself in situations where you are forced to grow

bwDraco

@JourneymanGeek CBT. I think I might need professional help...

@Ramhound So you're saying there's no way to fix this at home or even in chat?

Ramhound

I know how that sounds, but I was a serious introvert, but put myself in situations where I had to be the leader of the group

bwDraco

15:56

I'm all ears. There's got to be a way forward.

Journeyman Geek

@bwDraco not counting the shut in thing, I've been on chat and websites for the best part of a decade and half

bwDraco

@JourneymanGeek What did you learn that helped you become a mod?

Journeyman Geek

I've been a moderator in places since... I donno 03? 04?

@bwDraco eh, I hate to say but I have no idea.

bwDraco

in Tavern on the Meta on Meta Stack Exchange Chat, 4 mins ago, by bwDraco

Taking things too seriously and demanding too much attention, both of which point to a emotional control problem, are what need to be addressed. I guess there's not much more to be discussed.

I think this is the main issue at hand.

@Ramhound, I wonder if you agree with this...

Journeyman Geek

Which is something that has come up many times.

bwDraco

15:58

Burgi has said that I need to go out more and that there's no way to improve this at home.

The problem is, I can't just walk out of the house and walk around town without some learning objectives. I wouldn't get anywhere.

Ramhound

Burgi is right. What got my shell cracked was doing Student Government in college. Got myself on the group that decided what student groups got funding that sort of thing, nearly got myself placed into the chairmen of that group

When you have to present your conclusions to a group of 50 students you start to forget about being nervous

Journeyman Geek

@bwDraco nowhere is a place.

bwDraco

Emotional control issues are the main source of disruption for me, and at least that can be worked on at home. Solving that would get us at least halfway there.

Ramhound

I then decided I would get an MBA which is basically putting yourself in front of the class every day.

Journeyman Geek

and I totally go "Yanno? I'm going to walk to the park"

and then go find a random one I've never been to before.

Ramhound

16:01

I then did a lateral move into a position that requires me to "be that guy"

bwDraco

Over the last few months, I've been practicing empathy at home, which kinda helps a bit, but I doubt it's a substitute for outside social experience.

That reminds me... I have some systematic behavioral issues at home that are essentially the same issue.

(interjecting into conversations that don't involve me)

I think the first thing to learn to do is listen before talking, and avoid stepping into a conversation unless necessary.

This would pave the way for further improvements, including better behavior in social situations.

Well, I managed to connect the dots between issues here and issues IRL, which should help me get better over the next few months.

in Tavern on the Meta on Meta Stack Exchange Chat, 14 mins ago, by Journeyman Geek

I'd say listen more than you talk, but I'm the last guy to say that. ;p

I'm going to treat this as "listen before you talk". :P

Thanks, @JourneymanGeek and @Ramhound. You really helped me there.

A summary of the lessons learned:
1) Listen before you talk. Don't interject unless you really need to.
2) Don't take things too seriously. Many situations can be defused through dialogue, without the need to escalate them to a moderator.
3) Avoid drawing attention to things unnecessarily. This can be disruptive and can make things worse.
4) It's important to maintain the natural flow of chat. By gracefully resolving situations, we can avoid drama and disruption.

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