Another feature people really loved about the game was the permabans and the accounts thereof. Unfortunately the permabans aren't actually permanent, they only stretch to the year 9,999. With the new XBox, they still are not going to be permanent, but they will reach the year 99,999.
Also, it will be possible to modify your profile in "illegal" ways without having to mod your console and voiding your warranty! It's the inbuilt idiot cull you've been waiting for.
On the controller side of things, the game will ship with none. People loved flailing their arms wildly in Kinect games, so all games will be body-controlled. Since the previous technology of Kinect devices isn't quite up to par for the job, you won't have to buy a Kinect 2 with HD recognition and a bunch of other software-only features that makes no sense to tie in to a new piece of hardware, but you'll really want to.
As far as backwards compatibility goes, we thought it'd be a shame to make your old XBox 360 just collect dust in a corner, so there's none. You're welcome.
The XBox 360+1 will actually run Windows 8, but we won't admit it. The executable format will be slightly different so the .exe files won't run: we'll change the extension to .xbx.
We'll have a state of the art computer with 2 more gigabytes of memory than whatever Sony announces for the Playstation 4, powering a video card that looked awesome in 2011 and a hard drive that'll be every bit as reliable as the other generation's to enhance our games' replayability.
But videogames are boring, let's talk tv. The XBox 360 has been bringing a lot of entertainment value to only a few countries in the world. This allowed players to get an unparallelled level of elite service. Gamers love to feel elite. It's why they game. This is why we're happy to announce that our new services will only be available in US states the names of which end with a vowel.
