The DMZ

2:00 PM

wait really, is the definition of a basic bitch according to college humor a woman who likes scented candles

@AviD Seriously though, if someone posts a picture of a girl in here and I say that she's pretty, you're gonna call me an asshole for doing it.

Rory Alsop

@kalina you got past the thigh gap episode too, eh :-P

AviD

@RoryAlsop there was another one that I cant find now, tips to pick up women at work without it being harassment. Two steps: Step#1, be attractive. Step#2: Don't be ugly.

Simon

That's excessive, very excessive.

kalina

@RoryAlsop totally

Simon

2:00 PM

Thigh gap is the most horrible thing ever.

Rory Alsop

@kalina dat's my afternoon ruined. Ruined!

@Simon wut?

AviD

@Simon no, but if its an article about a brilliant scientist who cured cancer or something, and you focus on how she looks, then yeah I will point out the obvious.

Simon

Some girls try to stand in a certain way when they take a picture to make the gap bigger.

It does not end up looking good.

JukEboX

@AviD that sounds like that thing going around Instagram right now

Rory Alsop

@Simon Some folks have it, some don't - what bearing does it have on how attractive they are, or what their personality is?

Simon

2:02 PM

@AviD If I haven't read the damn article and the first thing that I see is that the girl looks good, how does that make me an asshole for mentioning it?

AviD

...

Simon

And even if I read the article, does it change the fact that she looks good?

AviD

STOP PROVING MY POINT

at least give me a challenge

Simon

...................

kalina

@Simon when I read something, I don't judge the article by the looks of the person who wrote it

AviD

2:02 PM

@Simon no, but that fact is completely irrelevant and inappropriate.

kalina

in fact, 100% of the time I don't care who wrote the article

AviD

@kalina right? how is this not like super obvious?

Simon

I barely ever read any article linked here.

kalina

@AviD nice valley girl impression

AviD

@kalina well if it is super intersting or whatever, then I would care, to find more by the same person.

Simon

2:03 PM

You think I'm gonna read it because it's a girl or something?

AviD

@kalina ;-)

@Simon no, I think you're NOT gonna read it because its by a girl.

okay, that one was just strawmaning.

kalina

I think he's not going to read it because it's by an ugly girl

Simon

You've got to be kidding me.

You can't be fucking serious right now.

AviD

but yeah, there are people like that.

kalina

or, a man more attractive than he is

Rory Alsop

2:04 PM

@Simon (fun fact - they almost certainly are :-)

AviD

tbf I dont think you're really quite as bad as all that.

@Simon uhh I already said I wasnt

Ohnana

simply stating that someone is attractive does not denigrate them

AviD

@kalina heh, is that why he never bothered to read? ;-)

Simon

THANK YOU OHNUHNUH

JESUS CHRIST

kalina

@AviD :D

Ohnana

2:05 PM

@RoryAlsop is exceptionally attractive in a kilt and dress shirt, that does not affect the fact that he is intelligent and capable in his day job

2

:)

kalina

@Simon why are you saying thanks, you don't know what denigrate means

AviD

@Ohnana no, but distilling the entire worth of a person to his perception of her sexuality, does.

@kalina -.-

@Ohnana smooth :-)

@kalina lol

2:05 PM

(how much did I owe you?)

Ohnana

@RoryAlsop i mean it's true

kalina

if you listen closely, that's the sound of suction

Rory Alsop

@Ohnana well, obviously the attractive bit is, sure :-)

@kalina wasn't that by Simon and Garfunkel

Ohnana

@kalina :U

kalina

is Garfunkel another name for @Ohnana?

AviD

2:09 PM

@Simon and Ohnunkel

JukEboX

Ohnunkel Simon?

Simon

Shush, I don't exist for the rest of the day.

AviD

@Simon like women, most of the time.

Simon

......................................................................

AviD

hehehe

okay that one was just for meansies.

kalina

2:11 PM

right I believe enough momentum has been gained for me to leave this perpetual simon tormenting machine running to murder some rabbits

Ohnana

go show that cliff who's boss

AviD

the perpetual simon tormenting machine murders rabbits?

Rоry McCune

@kalina what would you do that to the poor bunnies

kalina

no the lara croft crying to herself in the siberian wilderness she willingly went to of her own choice murders the rabbits

for food

she eats rabbits and squirrels completely raw

Matthew

@kalina Well, that's silly. If you just eat rabbit, you die of vitamin deficiency

Should at least put some grated carrot or something on them

kalina

2:13 PM

so not only do I need to be in a sadistic mood to fully enjoy the experience, I have to wait until the bulk of my own real world digestion of food has completed so I don't chuck it back up again

JukEboX

How does Lara Croft's Thigh Gap affect you @Ohnana

AviD

@Matthew so you're saying she should make a stew out of it?

Ohnana

@JukEboX i do not care

Matthew

@AviD That would be acceptable. Or a casserole. Or anything with a side dish, in fact

Ohnana

it is present in some very fit people because of genetics, so it's entirely plausible.

M'vy

2:15 PM

@Matthew you let the rabbit eat the carrots first

Matthew

@M'vy Let the rabbit eat the carrots, wait for it to poop them out and eat the poop, then eat the rabbit. Maximum nutrients

kalina

this is a new level of gross

I will just get the cannibal perk and eat humans instead

AviD

@Ohnana so you're saying its better to eat fit people, than rabbits?

kalina

@AviD more muscle

AviD

@RoryAlsop now we know why @Ohnana has been paying so much attention to you.

kalina

2:17 PM

what is the deal with adding cards to everything these days

Rise of the Tomb Raider has game modification cards that you can apply to gets

like "Lara takes 25% more cold damage when her arms are extended"

or "Lara's head is huge!"

AviD

well... I think I've had enough procrastination for the day. I have about 40 minutes to do a days work before my next meeting. :-S

kalina

so @AviD

how do you enjoy procrastination

I mean, you seem to do it wrong

perhaps if you explain y our process we could help

since we're all expert procrastinators in here

AviD

pffft

stop encouraging me

kalina

I'm not encouraging you at all

you don't want to work

you want to sit here and chat with us

AviD

pls

kalina

2:20 PM

stop resisting and join ussssssss

AviD

plsssssss

kalina

sssstop resssssisssssssting usssssss

AviD

I blame php

kalina

The CONFLICT OF INTEREST card

Increased warmth generation from FIRE DAMAGE and EXPLOSIONS

ok cool, except fire damage makes you BURST INTO FLAMES AND DIE

and well... explosions are explosions

Matthew

They tend to be warm though

kalina

2:25 PM

cool girls don't look at explosions, they absorb the heat as they walk away

Matthew

@kalina warm girls don't look at explosions, since they absorbed the heat as they walked away

Adi

@RоryM Remember that guy Martin from OWASP in Netherlands?

JukEboX

Damn brazil is pinging the crfap out of Dubai today

Rоry McCune

@Adi I was gonna ask you about that, noticed his linkedin update...

@Adi you should get him to second you to Amsterdam for a couple of months :)

Adi

@RоryMcCune I was quite surprised when I heard

@RоryMcCune I don't think it would be an issue to move there for a bit. We have an open invitation to try it out for as long as we want

Mark Buffalo

2:40 PM

@AviD PHP :(

Rоry McCune

@Adi nice

Mark Buffalo

Dentists freak me out

Matthew

@MarkBuffalo Did you watch too much Little Shop of Horrors when young?

AviD

@Matthew Sweeny Todd

yes yes, he was a barber, but in oldtimey times it was the same thing.

Rоry McCune

@Matthew or marathon man

Matthew

2:46 PM

Barbers have really specialised, compared to what they used to be able to do...

Mark Buffalo

@Matthew Worse. That movie, "The Dentist"

AviD

@MarkBuffalo or "Mean Bosses". That dentist there was truly horrifying.

Mark Buffalo

2 weeks of consultation appointments... and today is the "big day"

AviD

@MarkBuffalo Today, @MarkBuffalo becomes a man.

Mark Buffalo

Got my tooth knocked out by Chinese MSS agents

Matthew

2:48 PM

@MarkBuffalo I hope whatever you're having done goes well

Mark Buffalo

Nah, j/k. Just an implant ;b

........................tinfoil hat senses tingling

@AviD Wha... barbers and dentists were the same?

AviD

you should get him to install one of those microchipped tooths.

Mark Buffalo

I think I recall something similar to that

AviD

ooh, or one of those with the cyanide capsules.

Matthew

@AviD One of chinavasion.com/china/wholesale/Cheap_Mobile_Phones/…

Mark Buffalo

2:53 PM

@AviD ain't no one chipping me. ain't no one

Rory Alsop

@AviD or that dude who hunts animals in Africa. Walter Palmer - the guy who killed Cecil the lion

although he isn't scary - just a tool

Journeyman Geek

@MarkBuffalo as far as you know

Mark Buffalo

Cecil had to die

old, ruining the quality of the pride

Journeyman Geek

One moment you're minding your own business. The next. Wham, you have a transmitter the size of a baseball up your ass...

Mark Buffalo

and the money went to save far more animals

Rоry McCune

2:56 PM

@MarkBuffalo that's what you think... you'll go under , wake up ... and only later wonder why your mouth causes interference with your bluetooth headset sometimes

Mark Buffalo

@JourneymanGeek Uh, it seems like you're speaking from experience...

Journeyman Geek

Or you're picking up numbers stations.

Mark Buffalo

@RоryMcCune Speaking from experience?

Journeyman Geek

@MarkBuffalo I may or may not have known a guy....

Mark Buffalo

@JourneymanGeek ...do you know what a subdermal neurophone is:

?

Rоry McCune

2:57 PM

@MarkBuffalo nah, I'm not dumb enough to go to dentists since I got into security, I know better than that

Mark Buffalo

@RоryMcCune lmfao

I am howling

I love the tinfoil hattery

Even my son is next to me cracking up with me

Journeyman Geek

nope?

Ohnana

@JourneymanGeek i'd pay extra for that

Rоry McCune

"Weird Al" Yankovic - Foil

►

Mark Buffalo

@RоryMcCune hahahahahahahaha

The lizard at the end makes it

kalina

3:02 PM

FFSSSSSSSSSSSS

huge fucking bear just ate my face

where the fuck did a huge bear just appear from

MORE IMPORTANTLY

Rоry McCune

@kalina you asked a crypto question?

kalina

why did it ignore all of the heavily armed guys and come straight to me

Mark Buffalo

@RоryMcCune lmfaoooooooo

Rоry McCune

@kalina you used unsalted MD5 hashes for password storage?

Mark Buffalo

@kalina Did you mock someone with baldness?

^ I don't think anyone will get that joke. Maybe @AviD would

Rоry McCune

3:04 PM

@MarkBuffalo are you saying that @AviD is bald?

Mark Buffalo

@RоryMcCune Obscure bible reference thing. Some kids mocked a bald prophet, and a bear came out of the woods (maybe an ancestor of @ThomasPornin's) and mauled all the kids

Rоry McCune

@MarkBuffalo and here was me thinking that you were just referring to @AviD 's lack of hair

Mark Buffalo

lol

kalina

no this game just doesn't want me to make it past day 17

so while I was skinning the first bear that I had murdered with all of my ammunition

Mark Buffalo

@RоryMcCune I won't do that. @ThomasPornin will show up and maul me.

kalina

3:06 PM

his mate(?) appeared and wasn't too happy about what was going on

Mark Buffalo

This game sounds more and more awesome

kalina

so I ended up abusing the scenary to build enough arrows to murder the second one

and then it flashed up on screen "exotic animal nearby"

I press survival instincts button and it's a fuck cheetah running towards me

so I'm currently hiding in a tree

Ohnana

cheetah just wants to hug you

Mark Buffalo

telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/china/12147499/…

kalina

which is fine but I think the cheetah knows that I will need heat soon

Rory Alsop

3:09 PM

@kalina don't cheetahs have the ability to climb?

Mark Buffalo

Dude......

kalina

so is just prowling

Ohnana

also aren't you in a winter wasteland? why is the cheetah there

kalina

@Ohnana because eidos interactive

Mark Buffalo

> An An, who had spent 15 hours in a freezer with temperatures of -12C, was then sent back to the emergency room, where he was being kept under observation in an incubator on Monday.

Rory Alsop

3:09 PM

@Ohnana yeah - that's just silly

kalina

so I'm in a bad way

I've just used all of my good ammo

I'm cold

I'm hungry

and I'm stuck up a tree with a cheetah prowling around at the bottom of it

Rory Alsop

drop something on it?

like a "Lara Croft"

kalina

and apparently Lara Miss Super Explorer Croft is unable to make fire

which is just astounding

Ohnana

yes light the motherfucking tree on fire

that'll teach that cheetah who's the superior life form

kalina

she can make bullets

but she can't make fire

Mark Buffalo

3:12 PM

@kalina Are you able to break off branches and do a last-ditch stab attempt?

kalina

no there's no melee combat against cheetahs

Mark Buffalo

That's dumb. I've had to punch a cheetah in the face in the jungle because it was trying to eat my soul

kalina

as a matter of fact,there's no melee combat against any of the enemies it deems "exotic"

TildalWave

maybe you can reason with it? :)

kalina

since they murder you in melee range one shot

TildalWave

3:14 PM

wouldn't cheetah have no problems climbing up a tree?

kalina

video game logic

Ohnana

this cheetah is bullshit

AviD

@MarkBuffalo I dont think he was mocked specifically about baldness?

Ohnana

@AviD biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Kings+2:23-24

AviD

oh no, youre right.

did not remember that at all

kalina

3:20 PM

Lara must smoke copious quantities of marijuana off screen

based on how fast she goes from "nope, I'm full" to "OMG I'M DYING OF HUNGER"

Adi

@MarkBuffalo I love dentists!

kalina

only a genuinely sick person loves the dentists

AviD

Ohnana

@AviD where's the bear

i wanna see some biblical carnage

AviD

zoom in

they be chasing dem kids

JukEboX

3:24 PM

LOl there are 2 of them

Iszi

@MarkBuffalo Interesting. The KJV specifically says it was two "she bears" but NIV omits this detail. However, both agree that specifically forty-two children were mauled. That's a crap-ton of kids to be teasing a prophet. And neither version says that was all of them.

Ohnana

@Iszi bear don't give a fuck

Matthew

42 children seems a lot of children for 2 bears to maul. I mean, just by numbers, surely 20 children could do something against each bear. Sacrifice the other 2 for example...

2

JukEboX

@Matthew LOL I just ROFLED

kalina

here I am successfully extracting on day 18

Iszi

3:27 PM

@kalina Um... ew?

kalina

the end screen message is "World record number of days survived: 67"

fuck you whoever managed 67 days

AviD

@JukEboX and another one in the trees

Iszi

@kalina What's this?

kalina

for your extreme use of exploits

@Iszi Rise of the Tomb Raider Endurance DLC

@JukEboX Rolling on the floor light emitting diode?

Iszi

@MarkBuffalo My favorite bit is still the one where the guy gets an IRC moderator bot to kick the Bible quotes bot 'cause it said "ass".

Ohnana

3:28 PM

@Iszi bash.org

best site

kalina

"IRC moderator"

AviD

@Iszi the original hebrew specifies two, apparently.

kalina

Clearly @Iszi never IRC'd

AviD

but them being children is ambiguous.

Matthew

@AviD 2 children, or 2 bears?

Iszi

3:29 PM

@kalina I have. It's just been awhile.

AviD

@Matthew 2 bears.

Rоry McCune

@AviD you're ambiguous

Matthew

@AviD Does it specify the number of children too?

AviD

does not specify ursine gender, though.

JukEboX

@kalina yes laughing so hard I make bioluminescents

AviD

3:30 PM

@Matthew the ones attacked by the bear, yes (42). not the total.

Iszi

Found it: bash.org/?178890

Let's see how badly Markdown mangles this.

> *** Now talking in #christian
-Word_of_God- Welcome Abstruse to #christian I am a Bible Bot. For more info type: /msg Word_of_God !info
<Abstruse> !kjv numbers 22:21
<Word_of_God> Numbers 22:21 -- And Balaam rose up in the morning, and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of Moab. - (KJV)
*** SageRider sets mode: +b *!*@c211-30-208-111.rivrw3.nsw.optusnet.com.au
*** Word_of_God was kicked from #christian by SageRider (Please dont Swear)
<Abstruse> I know I'm never going to be able to come back in this channel again after this, but damn was it worth it to see that...

Matthew

Is this before the Christians vs Lions arena battles? If so, I think we've just worked out the problem they were trying to solve...

AviD

@Matthew the hebrew word for children ("na'arim" ) is similar to the location ("na'aran"), thus it is possible they werent being called "children", but "people from na'aran".

@Matthew quite a bit, yes.

around 900 years earlier.

though I dont really know when the lions battle took place, though I assume it was after 0 AD.

Iszi

@AviD I didn't know you were into Biblical hermeneutics.

AviD

@Iszi pfft, shaky memory + wikipedia does wonders.

Iszi

3:34 PM

How's it you're not over here?

AviD

@Iszi meh, not so knowledgable.

besides, dont forget at least half the bible I dont know at all.

Matthew

I always have this problem with ancient history. It's like "Roman era" is actually a similar timespan to "Stuart-Windsor era" (From Charles 2 to Liz 2)

Ohnana

@Iszi "come masturbate over a really old book with us!"

:U

Iszi

@Ohnana Wow. Where's SageRider when you need 'im?

Ohnana

@Iszi hmm?

AviD

3:36 PM

@Matthew here's a factoid that blew my mind: at the height of the Roman Empire, the Egyptian Pyramids were already quite a bit older than the Roman Empire is to us.

Iszi

@Ohnana See the starred message above.

Ohnana

@Iszi i read it

i do not understand

AviD

@Ohnana "profanity and bibles do not mix"

Iszi

@Ohnana SageRider being the (presumed) bot that auto-kicks people based on a profanity/decency filter.

Matthew

@AviD Yeah. It's insane how much history we actually have some form of records for

Ohnana

3:38 PM

oh

AviD

oo just got invited to an RSA vendor party.

too bad I'm not going to be there.

Iszi

@AviD Mix in some Catholicism though and you suddenly have the head of the church defecating in public.

Ohnana

they just want to sell you crap

AviD

@Ohnana duh. it was a sales call.

Ohnana

@Iszi wut

AviD

3:39 PM

still, if I was there I would go - free alcohol and lots of networking...

Iszi

@Ohnana "Does the Pope shit in the woods?"

Ohnana

Iszi your brains are particularly scrambled today

Iszi

@Ohnana Ah, and there's my cue to medicate. Thanks for the reminder.

Ohnana

@Iszi no prob~

bloomberg.com/news/articles/2016-02-09/…

Mark Buffalo

@Matthew aoe attack. Haven't you played WoW? Spam swipe to hold aggro

Ohnana

3:41 PM

^^ this is why contemporary art is complete and utter shite

Mark Buffalo

@Ohnana Because of bears AoEing kids down?

Ohnana

no the article i linked

you ninjad me

Mark Buffalo

;)

Rоry McCune

@AviD and when the pyramids started there were still woolly mammoths in existence

Matthew

@Ohnana I have some paintings like that. I saved money by painting them myself. My ones have sharper lines too

Ohnana

3:43 PM

@Matthew ikr

i went to an art museum

the contemporary gallery had a room with monochromatic square paintings...

the bastard didn't even color in the whole square!!!!

AviD

@RоryMcCune wait really?

Iszi

Man, Windows needs an "allow only one instance" or "prompt for new instances" option to stick on executables. Just realized I had about a half-dozen copies of Calc running.

Rоry McCune

@AviD io9.gizmodo.com/5896262/…

Mark Buffalo

@Ohnana This is called trash art. Real art is drawing actual things

Matthew

@Ohnana I also have some Mondrian style paintings. It turns out that you can do better than the original with the judicious use of masking tape

Mark Buffalo

3:45 PM

Not two dumb monochromatic shapes

@AviD Why? Is there a reason for that?

AviD

@MarkBuffalo the New Testament is purely Christian (Catholic?), as I am Jewish it was never really relevant for me.

Mark Buffalo

ah, I see

That is what I thought

AviD

@MarkBuffalo you're a dumb monochromatic shape

no wait

Mark Buffalo

@AviD you donut #simonism

AviD

oof, I should have saved that for @Simon's mom

Mark Buffalo

3:47 PM

@AViD I had a muslim friend in China

That reminds me

AviD

@RоryMcCune that is fascinating.

Mark Buffalo

He had a jewish friend who gave him a copy of the torah or something... and he really enjoyed that

He kept it a secret from everyone though

Matthew

@AviD There is a trilogy by Stephen Baxter about mammoths on an island

Rоry McCune

@AviD inorite, it's a bit mind-blowing to see those eras overlap

Mark Buffalo

@RоryMcCune 3600 years ago?

I didn't realize it was that recent

Iszi

3:49 PM

@AviD These days, we say "Christian". But there was a time where nearly all Christians were Catholic.

Rоry McCune

@MarkBuffalo well roughly that although @RoryAlsop could give you the precise date I'm sure

5

Mark Buffalo

LOL

AviD

@MarkBuffalo "recent"... only in @RoryAlsop's terms.

@Iszi well there IS a difference, just not always sure what is part of what.

@RоryMcCune damn you got there first

@RоryMcCune so the real reason the wooly mammoths went extinct: @RoryAlsop was hungry.

5

Mark Buffalo

@AviD Imho, it's kind of a big difference

bob

hello!

Iszi

3:52 PM

@AviD Nearly (if not exactly) all modern non-Catholic, Christian denominations can trace their roots to Catholicism. However, as for categorization, Catholics are technically a subset of Christians.

AviD

@Iszi sure, that bit I know.

bob

I was wondering if pentesters/security consultants used metasploit?

Iszi

@AviD So what's confusing?

Mark Buffalo

@Arperum Welcome back I missed you

Rоry McCune

@bob yes

AviD

3:53 PM

I mean, like which religious parts are universally Christian, as opposed to narrowly Catholic.

Mark Buffalo

@bob of course, that's part of what it's for

AviD

@Iszi not "confusing", just dont know.

Bob

O_O

AviD

@bob some do, some don't.

bob

don't they just "kinda" work on older devices such as winxp?

AviD

3:54 PM

@bob wut?

Mark Buffalo

Almost everything kinda works on WinXP :(

Rоry McCune

@bob oh no, metasploit gets updated all the time with new exploits, also has a wide variety of helper modules

Iszi

@AviD Ah. Well, there's a good number of elements that do distinguish Catholicism from the others. For the most part though, the same can be said for any other denomination.

Rоry McCune

@bob For example creating payload modules in a variety of languages and hosting the shell handler for the return call

bob

It would be crucial for a sec engin. to learn it?

Bob

3:55 PM

Gotta love ping confusion.

I forgot I was even in this room.

AviD

@bob very depends.

Ohnana

@Bob surprise maddafacka

Rоry McCune

@bob not crucial, but useful

Iszi

@Bob That's why @RоryMcCune uses a homoglyph.

Matthew

@bob No, not really. There are alternative methods for everything. It's just quite useful

AviD

3:55 PM

has no relevance at all for me.

Rоry McCune

@Bob heh you must get that a lot with a name like bob

AviD

sec. eng. is still very broad, be mroe speciic.

bob

its you bob again?

Matthew

Personally, I don't use Metasploit much, but I'd be lost without Burp

AviD

e.g. in my case, I am a software security engineer.

Bob

3:56 PM

@RоryMcCune First time actually. If you ignore that it happened earlier this afternoon. Speaking of which, hi @bob, fancy seeing you here :P

Rоry McCune

@Matthew yeah they can take burp from my cold dead hands

Bob

@bob Yea, I had a bunch of rooms I never bothered leaving but don't usually chat in. Someone tried to ping you and got me too :P

AviD

Monsters Vs Aliens - B.O.B's Best Bits

►

Rоry McCune

@Bob ah we've got a Rory clash in here, so changed the o in my name to a homoglyph

Matthew

@RоryMcCune I struggle enough when it's just playing up!

Bob

3:57 PM

@RоryMcCune Hm. I might have to steal that idea.

Iszi

@RоryMcCune Someone needs to make a competing product and call it belch.

AviD

@Matthew excactly. Though burp isnt my first choice...

Rоry McCune

@Bob feel free :) it's handy the other rory is a mod here, so I was getting all sorts of pings

@Matthew I know and I still find useful stuff, like being able to mark a specific insertion point in intruder for scanner to hit, found that one the other day

Ohnana

@RоryMcCune i use that feature all the time

that and the repeater

Rоry McCune

@Ohnana oh yeah repeater/intruder is where I think I spend most time. Scanner is handy for checking things too

Matthew

3:59 PM

Burp Repeater is my really critical tool. Intruder can be useful too.

Transcript for