The Bridge

Unionhawk

5:00 PM

@JasonBerkan truf

Yuuki

@JasonBerkan It feels like those are three different things though.

Unionhawk

Yes

But, still truf

originaluser

I've been meaning to ask a question on Arqade for a while but I can never come up with a good one. I want to live up the long history of fantastic questions

Unionhawk

Just ask a question

StrixVaria

@originaluser The best questions are the ones that you encounter naturally when playing games...

originaluser

5:02 PM

I also don't have a question to ask, sadly

GnomeSlice

There's some really had ones, just go for it

Unionhawk

Unless you're in technical-issues you will probably get only upboats

Wipqozn

Don't just ask a question for the heck of it.

Unionhawk

But also that.

Wipqozn

If you have an actual question feel free to ask it, provided it falls within our scope, but don't just make stuff up.

StrixVaria

5:03 PM

If you're ever playing a game and either get stuck or stop to think "I wonder..." then you have a question.

Unionhawk

What the turtle said

GnomeSlice

18

Q: Techniques for Playing Wrench Tennis Effectively?

So, I noticed that in the Medical Pavilion stage of Bioshock, there is one hallway you can enter that has a quaint little machine in it. If you hit a button at the other end of the hallway, this machine starts shooting out tennis balls. There are various trophies lined up along the wall, and v...

bioshock

originaluser

@Wipqozn Well, my goal is to find a good question that would have a clear and definitive answer, but also a really hilarious title.

Wipqozn

The moment people find out you're just making up questions you'll be downvoted into oblivion.

@originaluser Please don't do this.

Jason Berkan

1. Wait for a new game to come out. 2. Ask question about how to turn off intro video. 3. Instant rep.

StrixVaria

5:03 PM

@originaluser ಠ_ಠ

originaluser

Okay. I'm glad I brought this up in chat, then.

StrixVaria

Don't obfuscate your question with a dumb title.

The best "hilarious" titles still perfectly describe the question.

e.g.:

327

Q: How can I tell if a corpse is safe to eat?

I am a human wizard, and I just killed a monster, leaving a corpse on the ground. How do I tell whether it is safe to eat this corpse? I leave the monster unspecified because I am interested in "how can I figure out whether this is edible," rather than whether any particular monster is edible. L...

nethack

Yuuki

6

Q: Can I eat the corpses of my dead siblings?

When you breed a new generation, it's possible to end up with more than one in a litter. These extras are considered packmates, which you can use to distract enemies or help you hunt. Is it possible, after losing one or more packmates after a big fight, to consume their corpses to gain calories a...

tokyo-jungle

Of course we both go to corpse eating.

Unionhawk

Unless the situation already presents itself in what sounds like a dumb title, example:

42

Q: Why am I tripping out?

I'm hacking away at my patient and I go to get a different scalpel because I dropped my old one down behind his lungs. Suddenly, my vision starts freaking out, and everything turns all green and purple. What's happening and how do I stop it?

surgeon-simulator-2013

originaluser

I'm partial to the "I keep dying at work" one

47

Q: Is it common to die at work?

I downloaded The Sims 3 for my Android phone, and I've played through almost 2 Sim weeks with my character. My sim works Monday-Friday, and without fail, he will die every other day at work. If he survived work yesterday, he will die today. Period. He's been killed by everything from escaped re...

android sims-3

Chippies

5:05 PM

asking questions is not easy, if it doesn't come naturally for you

Wipqozn

@StrixVaria Yes. If your title is funny, but doesn't describe the question, it'll likely be edited.

GnomeSlice

10

Q: How do I Know if I'm Dead?

I've been playing Die2Nite for 3 days now, and still have basically no idea where to find many of the game's various notifications and alerts. So, following this trend, how will I know when I'm dead? Where will this be listed? I haven't got much longer to live, and would like to know where to ...

die2nite

Rapitor

@StrixVaria at those times i just do the thing.

Chippies

I have asked 6 questions and only because I was like "oh hey, I'd like to know these things and maybe I'll get rep for it"

originaluser

@Chippies I guess this is kind of what I'm getting at. Usually I just either explain things away or solve it myself and don't want to bother anyone

Chippies

5:06 PM

usually it's more like "oh hey, I'd like to know these things, but don't care enough to ask"

originaluser

That too

Chippies

@originaluser I usually solve it myself or it gets explained as time goes by

GnomeSlice

Also questions about boobs

Unionhawk

@Rapitor "What happens if you try to escape the road barriers to drive into the river in ETS2? Let's find out" (spoiler alert: the river has collision. you drive on it)

Yuuki

@originaluser If you feel like this is a common enough problem that most people will run into, you can ask the question and self-answer.

Operative phrase being "common enough".

Rapitor

5:08 PM

exactly

originaluser

@Yuuki Fair enough, I guess recently the games where I run into issues seem to be very obscure games that I doubt anyone else played

Chippies

Grimstorm is a brutal 2D combat platformer that you can play for free

cc: @GnomeSlice

@originaluser easy rep, Arqade users are a bunch of hipsters and love obscure questions

originaluser

Example: I've been playing some Demon Gaze lately, which is a fun vita dungeon crawler, but last I checked it didn't even have FAQs on Gamefaqs

Chippies

and less likely that it's already been asked

user15026

I tend to ask a lot of questions - I don't really focus on funny titles, but more "well if I find this frustrating, likely others do too" which has helped me gain more Rep in the long run than funny titles

originaluser

5:10 PM

It doesn't even have a question on Arqade

let alone a tag

Yuuki

I had a few friends run into this problem so I self-answered.

Unionhawk

The closest I have to funny title is "how do I do science?"

Chippies

I find answering questions easier than asking them

Yuuki

And then someone came up with a better answer, so I accepted that.

user15026

@originaluser I ask so many things I have to make tags for - they tend to get a lot of views.

Yuuki

5:10 PM

That's another thing. Even if you already have the answer for a question, someone might know a better solution.

And asking the question, even if you self-answer, might attract that better answer.

originaluser

I might just do that, thanks for the advice

user15026

It doesn't matter that no one else has asked about a game - someone has to be the first! Why not you?

Unionhawk

Yeah!

originaluser

Well, I just worry that my question would be lonely and languish in question hell. Or where ever unanswered questions go

Tim Stone

First!

user15026

5:11 PM

I play a lot of mobile stuff that no one else seems to ask about so I get used to making tags.

Unionhawk

@TimStone I think you're like 3 years too late for the "first post on the bridge" train

Yuuki

@originaluser You just gotta "let it go".

user15026

@originaluser there is the tumbleweed badge for that (or at least there used to be), and honestly, I have been surprised by what gets answered.

Chippies

@originaluser if it's not a bad question, it will get answers. At the very least, you might make more people interested in that game and they will ask/answer questions

Unionhawk

@Yuuki It has been 0 days since the last Frozen reference in this room

:P

Yuuki

5:13 PM

@Unionhawk Day counters are meant to be reset.

Tim Stone

@Unionhawk 5 years, if that's what I was going for.

originaluser

When I get home I'll type up a good question later then. It would be kinda pointless now because I don't have all the info in front of me and I'm supposed to be doing this "work" thing

Unionhawk

@TimStone Whatever

user15026

@chippies not necessarily, but mostly, yeah. (I have asked a lot of mobile game questions that languish in obscurity)

Unionhawk

EVEN WORSE

You're really slow

Tim Stone

5:13 PM

The Bridge's birthday is July 14th! 'MURICA +10.

Unionhawk

Isn't that also flag day?

Chippies

@AshleyNunn well, at the very least, people might google the game title and have a look at it, which could lead to attracting people to play it and potentially ask/answer questions

Unionhawk

No, flag day is june 14

Tim Stone

Yeah

One month too late.

Chippies

but I guess if your question doesn't describe any interesting part of the game, people might not care enough to google it

user15026

5:14 PM

@chippies yeah, exactly. You never know til you try!

MadMAxJr

@AshleyNunn late to the party, congrats on job offer.

user15026

I mean I keep asking Kairosoft questions even though @frank is just about the only one who ever answers them. :p

Unionhawk

@MadMAxJr The party is continuously ongoing, by definition you cannot be late

user15026

@MadMAxJr thanks! Hoping I hear about a confirmed start date soon.

Powerlord

So glad I don't have a useless meeting later today

Oh wait, it's Tuesday

originaluser

5:17 PM

At one of my jobs we would have these daily meetings that sometimes went for 2+ hours and involved none of our team members

In particularly bad ones we would mute the phone and pantomime killing ourselves

Basically, meetings suck

MadMAxJr

Meetings beyond 20 minutes suck.

What are we here to talk about? > Talk about thing > Action plan for thing > leave and go work on thing until next meeting > Repeat

Wipqozn

@Unionhawk Remember when @Yuuki was completely obsessed with Frozen and talked about it all the time?

Powerlord

My 3pm EDT meeting should be a meeting between management of our side and management of their side.

I'm being pulled into this meeting because the manager on our side wants to make me do as much useless shit as he possibly can as he knows I'm going to move over to DCH as soon as DCH has a new appdev manager.

The manager on our side is the actual customer for the application btw, not my boss.

MadMAxJr

I always fear meetings on Thursday or Friday that spontaneous invites are sent out for between noon and 5pm, about 10 minutes before the meeting occurs. Typically, as a contractor, that's how they're gonna end your contract.

originaluser

I've been in contracts where we didn't even get the meeting

Just "hey. seeya"

Unionhawk

5:26 PM

@Wipqozn thatsthejoke.jpg

djsmiley2k

2 months into my new job and not a single meeting attended

I concider this a win.

MadMAxJr

The lead at my last FTE job was promoted out of the department, to a team he worked for remotely, and they forgot he was a member of the team for three months. "What did you do during all that time?" "Mostly minecraft."

He's still employed there. I'm not. :|

originaluser

@MadMAxJr That's hilarious

MadMAxJr

If by hilarious you mean crushingly depressing, sure.

originaluser

At a contract gig I had about a month after being hired they fired our boss so we had no work for about 2 months until they axed the whole office

MadMAxJr

5:31 PM

Ah, this contract, I got on board as my boss was giving notice.

originaluser

@MadMAxJr They're the same thing, to me at least.

djsmiley2k

yeah someone at my old job was like that

rest of the team got deployed elsewhere/ thrown away

new managers came in but never took any notice of him

so he'd go in every day, sit on the computer, go home

3 months paid, no one asked who he was or what he was doing.

MadMAxJr

Then I had an interm boss for 2 weeks, then the company did a reorg and put under another VP, he found managing us too difficult, re-orged the reorg 3 weeks later, and now I finally have a boss I've kept for 7 months.

originaluser

It was cool, the last time I saw my boss was right before 4th of July weekend. We needed to get something working so we stayed late. Eventually everything clicked and he was super happy, invited us out for drinks. I had to decline because I had stuff early the next morning, but there was this brilliant moment of terror in his eyes

"Are you.... mormon...?"

"Not that there's anything wrong with that!" he quickly added

Jason Berkan

I dunno. I'd have issues with someone who knew they were supposed to be working for me and weren't bugging me for work, if I forgot about them.

originaluser

5:34 PM

I only later found out that the head of our division was mormon and there was a long standing feud between him and my boss

Rapitor

@originaluser i love that phrase. you can be an asshole without being an asshole

djsmiley2k

@JasonBerkan He wasn't directly under anyone as i understood it

it was very odd

Sterno

@fredley It had a simple and elegant beauty.

originaluser

@JasonBerkan I agree, but I've seen a bunch of times where after a messy restructure some people just fall through the cracks

djsmiley2k

Sigh

This is stupid, I am here to cover for another team, who have more members than any other team...

originaluser

5:35 PM

I've even seen people just kind of do no work whatsoever and not be fired. Just rant about how much work they have

Chippies

I just made a sandwich with lettuce, turkey meat, cheese and mayonnaise and after I had it all put on the bread, I remember I was supposed to toast the bread first. DAY RUINED!

fredley

@Sterno You're a simple and elegant beauty

MadMAxJr

I spent the first 3 months of my job describing my job to my ever-changing management.

Unionhawk

@fredley You're doing it wrong.

fredley

@Unionhawk :(

3

Sterno

5:37 PM

@fredley blush

MadMAxJr

Maybe I'm secretly contracting for Hydra and I don't know it.

Lazers 2.0

0

Q: I need to get rid of bats in minecraft 1.7.10

I am tring to make a horror map in 1.7.10 and i cant use the /kill @e[type=Bat] command, how do i get rid of them, i cant kill them with a sword or anything because they keep spawning, please help. :(

minecraft

Unionhawk

@Lazers2.0 why are you making it in 1.7.10 you fool

YOU FOOL

originaluser

Don't be rude uni, that's probably the only version that works with some obscure mod he has

djsmiley2k

lol

Unionhawk

5:39 PM

To be fair, no mods work in 1.8

djsmiley2k

an inside joke i actually got.

Unionhawk

Except, like, optifine

I think

Yuuki

@Wipqozn I actually don't think I talked about it so much as I responded to it.

You guys probably brought it up more than me.

Unionhawk

Probably

DON'T RUIN THE JOKE WITH YOUR LOGIC

MadMAxJr

I hear 1.9 works with NaN mods.

originaluser

5:42 PM

The Bridge: Wherein Notch is made quite the fool

MadMAxJr

No, he abandoned ship for a metric @#$%ton of money.

Unionhawk

He abandoned ship for reasons of "This is not what I wanted, someone let me out of this"

originaluser

True, but he's still the most recognizable name attached to it. And honestly? I'd sell out for way less.

Unionhawk

"I have created a monster someone help"

originaluser

Give me a lifetime supply of Chocolate Milk and I'll build you 10 monsters.

Rapitor

5:45 PM

@MadMAxJr imagine all the crash questions that mojang gets.

i'd want out too.

Unionhawk

@Rapitor Only vanilla. And automatically.

If they detect a modified client, the client will simply not report a crash at all.

originaluser

No wait, I'll make my offer Chocolate Milk and Burritos

Unionhawk

And instead tell the user "we can't help you"

MadMAxJr

I vaguely recall he got tired of people being upset any time he tried to do something new / make a change in minecraft. And he got tired of the upset being directed at him as the sole person responsible.

Rapitor

@Unionhawk yeah, but people will still ask mojang support or the forums. I don't even know how those people find arqade.

@MadMAxJr he was the sole developer for a pretty long time.

Unionhawk

5:47 PM

@Rapitor Sure, but they can close it right away if "Is modified: definitely"

MadMAxJr

7 AM wake up in the morning, gotta go down stairs, gotta get killed by twitter lynch mob.

StrixVaria

@Unionhawk He was out of his depth when Minecraft was still in alpha.

originaluser

@MadMAxJr That reminds me, there was a bit where Kim Kardashian's game was super popular but it went down for a bit and people were out for Kim's blood. As if she was the only person responsible for the game

Just the idea of someone screaming like "ROT13? REALLY KIM? YOU FOOL!"

MadMAxJr

Hey guys I'm gonna spearhead a new project, Scrolls! "WHY ARE YOU NOT COMMITTING ALL RESOURCES TO MINECRAFT." "YOU HAVE NOT FIXED MY OBSCURE BUG, YOU ARE AWFUL."

originaluser

Did scrolls ever turn into anything? I've caught the digital card game bug again with Hearthstone

Unionhawk

5:49 PM

It is a thing of sorts? I think?

MadMAxJr

Not sure.. I installed it, redeemed my humble bundle thingy for it.. never played a game of it

StrixVaria

@originaluser It released. @GnomeSlice likes it.

It looked pretty interesting to me but it was way outside the price range I was willing to pay for a game of that type.

I think it got cheaper, but I already didn't care anymore.

Chippies

@StrixVaria it's 5$ and that lets you play it on android and PC

StrixVaria

1 min ago, by StrixVaria

I think it got cheaper, but I already didn't care anymore.

MadMAxJr

Humble Bundle is quickly becoming like Loot Crate. It looks like a good idea, but ultimately you're getting a boxed pile of cheap trinkets.

Rapitor

5:52 PM

@MadMAxJr there was also that weird space game he threw around before the community shot it down

Chippies

@StrixVaria just throwing in the numbers

StrixVaria

I also really hate the first C in CCG.

Rapitor

why?

StrixVaria

I'd rather just play a strategy game where both players are on equal footing, where you don't have an advantage for having played longer or having paid more.

Your advantage from playing longer should be experience and strategy, not actual tangible advantages in card/deck quality too.

Rapitor

oh, yeah

Jason Berkan

5:53 PM

@StrixVaria Everytime I get into a CCG, I am forcefully reminded that I feel the same way.

Rapitor

Magic had console game(s) where you have pretty much everything from the get-go

StrixVaria

@Rapitor I've played some of those. They can be neat.

originaluser

I really like The Arena in Hearthstone, but constructed is frustrating at times

StrixVaria

The mechanics in Magic work really well. It's a good game.

murgatroid99

@Rapitor but they don't have good multiplayer, so it kind of defeats the purpose

StrixVaria

5:55 PM

@originaluser Yeah, I do sometimes like to play limited formats in those games.

originaluser

My only experience with the magic games is I bought one on steam that hardlocked my computer every time I tried to play, sadly.

Rapitor

@originaluser arena is pretty much "how good are you at building a deck" not "how good are you at game"

if there was a mode where both players got the same deck then it'd be fine.

originaluser

@Rapitor Eh, as someone with a horrible collection of cards I prefer it right now. I'll probably have a different opinion once I actually have the cards to build a decent deck

StrixVaria

@Rapitor Building a deck is part of the strategy.

@Rapitor I think, actually, a really great mode would be to give both players the exact same card pool, and let them build any deck they want from that then play each other.

originaluser

My experience with Hearthstone is I played a bit during the beta and then never again until like just a few days ago

So I'm essentially starting from nothing

Rapitor

5:57 PM

@StrixVaria yeah.

originaluser

@StrixVaria That would be really cool.

I mean, as much as I like arena, there's still luck involved in the deck building process which is frustrating

Rapitor

my experience with hearthstone (and any duel CCG) is "god damnit I don't need this card. damnit stop giving crap I can't use. If I can just get this card/combo I might stand a chance... nope"

so now if I play any.. it's just pure CCGs

originaluser

"Haha. He played a Grim Patron. Okay, I can counter that. Oh look, another. Okay, I managed to counter that too... A THIRD?! Really?!"

Rapitor

mobile CCGs are pretty fun... as long as I avoid the PvP.

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