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00:00 - 18:0018:00 - 00:00

6:10 PM
@FreshPrinceOfSO oh no it wouldn't :-)
 
@AaronBertrand well, i think it would be fun
 
@FreshPrinceOfSO I think I have too many enemies on SO to survive an election there. :-)
 
@AaronBertrand does dba.se elect 4 mods?
 
@FreshPrinceOfSO I'm not sure I understand the question? Are you asking if it is an election, or if there is exactly 4, or if there are 4 slots open, or...?
 
@AaronBertrand There were 4 mods elected on the SO election (to my knowledge), is this also true for dba.se?
 
JNK
6:13 PM
@AaronBertrand can I ask you a design question?
 
@AaronBertrand not to mention the handful of instances where you've noted that they said they'd fix something in a "future release" ca. 2005
 
JNK
trying to wrap my head around something
 
@JNK election talk is a little more important than your design question
 
@FreshPrinceOfSO O N E
 
JNK
fist shake
darn punk Princes
 
6:15 PM
you now have my permission to ask your q
 
JNK
I have two objects that need to do similar validations
one is a stored proc and the other is a trigger
 
Not sure if I should follow this link..
> Dear Co-operative Customer,

> We have initiated a new security process to our internet banking for safety purposes

> You must authenticate your Co-operative Bank account session before you can proceed. This will only take a few minutes.
 
JNK
The general idea is we pass in 4 parameters and it checks a bunch of criteria and returns a list of errors if there are any
could be 0-10 errors for each set of params, lets say
@FreshPrinceOfSO yeah poor grammar is a giveaway
so I was directed to use a UDF to consolidate the code for the checks
I was opposed to it but the trigger is on a very low volume table so here we are
I was also told I should have the UDF return a distinct list of errors
and I'm not sure how I can do this in the case of the trigger, when I need to run it against the entire inserted table
The only thing I can think of is to make the UDF return a table of all the errors, and then the trigger will build a mega-table that it keeps inserting into and then runs a distinct on
but the idea of doing that inside a trigger makes me throw up in my mouth a little
 
@JNK have you considered asking a question?
 
JNK
yes I considered it
 
6:22 PM
i'd vtc ... just based on principle
 
AND then
 
JNK
I mean the "right" answer to that Q is "don't do it that way"
 
The right answer would also say, "you should do it this way"
 
@JNK but you can accept an answer that show you how to do it the "rong" way
 
6:28 PM
@JNK Twitter has shown me your political humor
 
@AaronBertrand that would be the one
 
@FreshPrinceOfSO there have been multiple elections here. In this election, there is only one spot available.
 
JNK
@FreshPrinceOfSO I'm not sure what this means.
 
@JNK you retweeted something from @lolgop
@AaronBertrand thanks for the clarification
 
@JNK something about democrats and budgets and impeachment
 
JNK
6:30 PM
oh yeah
I'm surprised people read that stuff from me
 
@swasheck lol
 
@JNK well, yeah, but you can make an inline table-valued function and then cross apply against inserted. That wouldn't be quite as bas as a scalar UDF against every row. As you said it's low volume so the different will be negligible anyway.
 
@JNK just learning tweeter
 
JNK
@AaronBertrand I don't think this will give me distinct errors though right?
Right now I'm concatenating a string of errors in the UDF
 
@JNK I don't see why not. If the UDF takes a value in the CROSS APPLY the output row should return the data relevant for that input.
 
JNK
6:35 PM
this is for a tvf?
 
I purposely did that with concatenation. Your description of your existing UDF is way, way, way too vague for me to know exactly what you're actually trying to do.
 
JNK
gotcha
my complication is the error conditions are not mutually exclusive
So for given inputs A,B,C,D I have potential like 10 different errors which can occur in any combination
i.e. user does not have access to that client, column A valid values are (4,5,6) only, column C must be in specified format
 
Too vague. Make a fiddle and explain desired output.
 
JNK
k
 
Also note that in my fiddle the error conditions are not mutually exclusive - look at the first row of the output, it met two conditions (just not obvious because my concatenation doesn't use a visual separator).
 
6:42 PM
@JNK Make it a question.
 
JNK
hmm
actually I think you have it, @AaronBertrand
I just need to adapt that
I missed the multiple errors in your sample
I'll buy you a canadian beer next time I see you
you guys drink LeBatt right?
 
Molson Golden
 
I like Alexander Keith's actually
@JNK cool, now make a question so I can laugh all the way to the rep bank.
Just kidding. :-)
 
@AaronBertrand but not really. but kinda. but not really.
 
@swasheck not really
 
6:51 PM
@JNK did Brent talk about "fields" and "records" all week last week?
 
JNK
he said some yes
He said something along the lines of "some people would have a fit if they heard me talking about fields to you, but life's too short and aint nobody got time for that"
2
 
ha ha
 
JNK
"aint nobody got time for that" was a recurring theme the first day, Jes/Kendra were keeping a running tally
I think they meant it more about folks like Celko than you though, they mentioned him later on
 
Well, the problem is, bad semantics lead to incorrect perceptions. It doesn't take all that much effort to consciously swap out two words, especially if your perception is that they're interchangeable.
And when you know people have a fit when you use the wrong word. Then again, maybe that's where he gets his jollies.
Ugh
0
Q: Subquery returned more than 1 value. This is not permitted when the subquery follows =, !=, <,

user2266677When I run the following query I get the above error. I realize this is because the subquery is returning more than 1 result but am not sure how to fix it. update a set a.covtypeplus = (SELECT distinct REPLACE(REPLACE(ISNULL([BI],'x') + '+' + ISNULL([PD],'x') + '+' + ...

 
JNK
No idea, he mostly said "column" I think but there was a lot of talking and I didn't track word use
 
6:56 PM
Yeah for some of us the wrong word induces a tick-like response
Try telling Allan Hirt you want to set up "AlwaysOn" or an "active/passive cluster"
 
11
Q: Database - (rows or records, columns or fields)?

toopIn database terminology: What is the difference between a row and a record? Likewise, aren't columns and fields the same thing? On the blog Joe Celko The SQL Apprentice , I noticed that the banner mentions that they are different things.

 
@FreshPrinceOfSO that's funny. I down-voted every answer on that page. :-)
 
@AaronBertrand haha, i posted it for your entertainment
Perhaps you should throw up an answer
 
@AaronBertrand hahahahahaha. active/active active/passive is a fun one to say ... but then when you get serious and say "multi-instance failover cluster" some people look at you all googly-eyed. then you have to fall back to a/a.
 
so you can "laugh all the way to the rep bank"
 
6:59 PM
@FreshPrinceOfSO not going to happen. My name is Aaron Bertrand, and I'm a stackoholic. It has been 22 days since my last answer.
3
 
@AaronBertrand Wow. You're not kidding.
 
Maybe we should have a canonical question on dba.SE. Oh wait, we do.
 
@AaronBertrand a lot of rep was won by a lot of people on that question
 
7:05 PM
Is this a really dumb question or it is just me?
0
Q: Can I use the database and query it while full-text indexing?

Mohamed Sakher SawanI need to index my database, but I need to query it while it is indexing, it may take a long time, can I do that?

 
@swasheck right, most religious-type debates will garner a lot of attention (and hence a lot of upvotes).
 
@FreshPrinceOfSO no. you're clearly not the only dumb one.
 
@FreshPrinceOfSO no, consider that regular indexes can be reorganized online, but not rebuilt online (meaning people wait) unless Enterprise and the online option is set. Before 2012 this was not possible even in Enterprise if there are LOB columns. I think there are similar restrictions on fulltext but I'm not 100% sure how different they are.
(I don't do a whole lot of full-text, sorry.)
 
@AaronBertrand so if an index is being built, you must wait?
I assume you're talking about this. If there's no index, it must be built from scratch, no?
 
Can you park a car while driving 90 km/h? — FreshPrinceOfSO 7 mins ago
 
7:14 PM
@ypercube i figured that was a decent analogy
 
Maybe not with 90 but with 40-50 is doable
 
@ypercube blocked at work :(
 
@FreshPrinceOfSO in standard edition etc., yes, queries will be blocked. Like I said, though, I don't know if that's true for full-text (but I assume it is).
 
okay. i'm just trying to understand how the mechanics work
 
@ypercube blocked
 
7:46 PM
uhhhh ... i've been googling for a bit ... anyone know how to conver this unicode entity to a character in t-sql? "\u03C9"
 
What character do you expect that to convert to? Is this rtf encoding or something?
 
ω
i can look it up but i have hundreds and may just do it in the app layer
so i get the C "\u03C9"
google
UTF-16 = 969
 
JNK
SELECT NCHAR(969)
 
SELECT NCHAR(969)
 
JNK
badoom
 
7:50 PM
yeah ... just didnt know if i could go directly from the C entity ...
 
JNK
hmmm one sec
 
DECLARE @v VARCHAR(32) = '\u03c9';
SELECT NCHAR(CONVERT(INT, CONVERT(VARBINARY(32), REPLACE(@v, '\u', '0x'), 1)));
 
holy frickin wow
 
JNK
brilliant
 
thanks @AaronBertrand
 
JNK
7:52 PM
learn something new every day in here
 
That's going to perform like a clogged toilet if you have columns with sequences of those characters though.
 
@AaronBertrand indeed. this is to prove that it will perform as you say so that I can convince the devs to handle it in the app layer :)
 
@swasheck you should also always sort in the app
 
vendor mysql data being taken over by DC and they, naturally, stored everything as unicode entities
@Lamak ORDER BY hurts my fingers
 
I like ORDER BY
I understand the resons for sorting in the app layer but ORDER BY still has plenty of uses.
 
7:55 PM
@Zane yeah, I was just joking....since @AaronBertrand is here ;-)
 
Nominations close in 5 days.

1,322 voters were eligible, 0 visited the site during the election, 130 visited the election page, and 0 voted
hehe, 10% of our eligibles have turned up at the polls to see what's going on, and that's in 2 days (when the majority will actually show up)
nice
Now to see who spoils all the fun by nominating.
Because if it's just two I'm petitioning for no election, and change it to two positions ...
 
@jcole 8'm waiting for the last day :p
I*
 
@Marian I've got a really sharp stabby stick here
trololol@self destruct
 
good luck using it ;))
i'm still waiting for Aaron to come back to normal, so I can vote with all my puppets ;)
 
If it comes down to me and @AaronBertrand, I am sure he will crush me in the election.
 
8:11 PM
@bluefeet why do you say that? Just because I've been here longer doesn't make me any more likable. In fact I'd say the opposite is true.
@bluefeet plus I suck at PIVOT.
 
@AaronBertrand well if this was an election based on PIVOT skills....I would crush everyone!!!
not really...but I wish
 
@bluefeet already has a sweet campaign slogan.
 
@bluefeet relax, I'm sure you both would be a great addition to the mod team
4
 
@AaronBertrand I think some of it comes down to familiarity. People know you
 
@bluefeet exactly my point! A lot of people know Jeffrey Dahmer, too. :-)
 
8:16 PM
I'm just excited that we are getting another mod.....all results are good ones. If @bluefeet gets elected we got a good mod, awesome PIVOT skills. If @AaronBertrand wins, we get another good mod, and we can test how much his patience last. It's a win-win situation
 
@Lamak he did just reference Jeffrey Dahmer, you better be careful.
 
Ha ha. Again, I don't think my patience on this site is going to be much of an issue, because of the quality difference. Now, I nominated myself to become a mod so I could help keep it that way.
 
@lamak well, I'm not sure I want to see the 2nd :D
 
please please please please.... usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/05/15/…
 
@Rob you mean when to not use NOLOCK, right? :-) — Aaron Bertrand 11 mins ago
 
8:23 PM
can we close/delete this question?
0
Q: Oracle UPDATE single record with multiple WHERE conditions

BaodadI'm trying to UPDATE values in an Oracle database table (of salary information) that has no row IDs or a primary key. This syntax should work just fine in T-SQL: UPDATE schedule_amounts SET ANNUAL_RATE = 44000 WHERE SCHEDULE_ID = 'LCSD' and SCHEDULE_NO = 2014 and SCHEDULE_LEVEL = 100 and...

 
I VtC'd as too localized. But we could probably just tell the user to delete it (unless given his rep that counts very badly towards a Q ban).
 
JNK
@AaronBertrand self deletions are a big factor in Q bans
 
Isn't there a badge though for deleting your crappy question?
Guess not, it's delete your poor answer
 
@bluefeet I never buy thos as my odds are so poor. However everyonce in a while I think. I'll throw in a buck.
 
@Zane many people call it the "stupid tax" - but then again, you can't win if you don't play.
 
8:30 PM
@AaronBertrand it's win win win if you're the government.
 
The odds are so low, but its $360 million. Gonna try and hope it happens.
If I disappear after tonight, then you know I won
 
People pay you two bucks. You put one of them in a pot and another in your pocket. Then when someone wins you take 50% of their winnings.
 
I will be moving far far away from a computer
 
Deleting your own question will count against you to some degree. I think the question can be salvaged, if you explain that you were using LinqPad, remove the "doesn't like it" bit and list the actual error message, verbatim, and then post an answer describing exactly how you fixed or worked around the issue. A future user may come across the same issue in LinqPad. — Aaron Bertrand 14 secs ago
 
@AaronBertrand so mod like
 
8:34 PM
I think that me and @Phil will not be happy until after the elections.
 
@Marian @Phil yeah, sorry guys, I'll be stifling my asshattery for a bit.
 
@Marian +1
 
@Aaron well, if you can resist SO, I'll respect your option. I repeat, our site is spoiled, I just love that.
being a simple member here makes me feel good technically and humanly
(not sure if I said it clear)
@bluefeet read about Dan Ariely and our irrational behavior :).
 
9:12 PM
@AaronBertrand i like my reads like i like my martinis ... dirty
2
 
@swasheck I thought you were going to say "shaken not stirred" there
 
@SimonRigharts that's how i like my devs
@SimonRigharts didnt you get comped for your 8.5 hours of availability during the 3 hour outage window?
what are Karen Lopez' ties to NASA? pardon my ignorance
 
@swasheck she's just a space junkie, she takes her Barbie doll to as many tweet-ups as she can.
 
9:30 PM
@AaronBertrand interesting. i was google stalking her and couldnt really find any past work with them.
 
@swasheck Yup, 13 hours of pay for last night (had a 90-minute gap in the middle where I don't get paid because I wasn't working) + working today is all double time.
Gog go gadget socialist paradise
 
@SimonRigharts ah. see ... i just get compensated in time
 
@SimonRigharts France, Belgium?
 
@Marian even better ...
 
@swasheck he can't be in Ro, I'd know :).
 
9:40 PM
@Marian New Zealand ;)
 
sorry, @SimonRigharts's profile is just empty.
@SimonRigharts really? always thought you're a Brit. Apologies.
@SimonRigharts nice, than we have all 3 DBAs from New Zealand here? :)
 
@Marian @PaulWhite and @SimonRigharts are the only two i know
 
@swasheck there's a new(ish) guy from NZ here, I mentioned his name yesterday here.
 
@Marian ah.
 
@swasheck this one:
4
A: If the users need INSERT/UPDATE/DELETE permissions, is Windows auth still more secure than SQL Server auth?

Kent CheneryIn my view Windows Authentication is still more secure. Just. With windows authentication you can allow a group of people (via a Windows Group) to have access to the database. Only those users can use an application, any application, to connect to the database. If you use a SQL Server account...

 
9:46 PM
ah cool
 
@swasheck oh, wait, they're actually 4 of them.
Jan 14 at 20:27, by ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells
@Phil No, New Zealand - however my Scottish friends would appreciate the sentiment :)
 
@Marian @ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells lives in England now ... is from New Zealand ... and would shudder at being called a DBA :)
 
@swasheck it's not that bad, you know? :)
 
@Marian oh i know.
i'm treading on thin ice so i'll retract that
 
@ypercube uhm, they started conquering the world? :)
@ypercube is he ok now, after some days of peace?
 
9:55 PM
@Marian Oh, I wouldn't know.
 
@ypercube hopefully Easter brought us some piece of peace. :)
 
a piece of peace. and no piss.
 
@ypercube give Peace a chance!
 
we are the world
 
we are the world
 
10:05 PM
we are the children
 
we're the ones to make a brighter day so let's start giving
 
@billinkc it's as if cyndi lauper herself just walked into the room
3
 
I was channeling my inner Bruce
Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuce!
 
old song liked by @COTW :)
 
@Marian love the hollywood bowl
 
10:17 PM
@swasheck The only Cyndi Lauper song I know is "girls just wanna have fun"
3
... should I admit that in public? :-/
 
@SimonRigharts too late
47 secs ago, by Simon Righarts
@swasheck The only Cyndi Lauper song I know is "girls just wanna have fun"
preserved for the world to see
 
@swasheck late, he's already starred ;)
ok gents, nighty night for Europeans! have a nice evening for the US crew.
 
BEHOLD, FOR I HAVE ARRIVED AT HOME. YOU ARE NOW ALL DOOMED
 
@Phil mmmm beer
 
@swasheck Pfft, I'm completely sober
 
10:30 PM
@Phil i was talking about me
 
11:16 PM
@Phil that doesn't sound fun
 
What do you guys typically charge for consultation fees?
 
11:35 PM
@bluefeet one meeeelion dollars, one lottery win, or 100000 SO rep, whichever is greater.
 
Aw man, my knowledge of a cyndi lauper song is (for now) the second-top starred comment. You guys need to get busy starring other stuff ;)
 
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