The Heap™ – Consultancy ©® - 2014-09-22 (page 2 of 2)

Mike Fal

6:00 PM

@swasheck Thinking of moving?

:D

swasheck

@MikeFal talked to my wife. i told her that i told you "no" and she said ... "why?"

Mike Fal

@swasheck Well, like I said, not sure we could match the compensation. But if you want to have the conversation I can put you in touch with the right people.

Paul White

Auckland

The Auckland urban area (/ˈɔːklənd/, AWK-lənd), in the North Island of New Zealand, is the largest and most populous urban area in the country. Auckland has a population of 1,418,000, which constitutes 32 percent of the country's population. It is part of the wider Auckland Region, which includes the rural areas and towns north and south of the urban area, plus the islands of the Hauraki Gulf, resulting in a total population of 1,529,300 that is governed by the Auckland Council. Auckland also has the largest Polynesian population of any city in the world. In Māori, Auckland's name is Tāmaki Makaurau...

Money isn't everything, and besides I doubt the cost of living in AKL is anything like the same as living in a major US city.

Mike Fal

@PaulWhite Funny you think it has to many people. Denver is 2-3X the size

swasheck

money over everything

(kidding. i hate rap.)

Paul White

6:06 PM

@MikeFal Yes but does 33% of the population of the US live in Denver?

Lamak

@MikeFal hey, congrats on your presentation

swasheck

@MikeFal keeping it in my back pocket for right now. i know it won't last forever but there's something about my wife right now that's asking me about whether or not i'd stay at oppy if my boss wasnt here.

the benefit of expat is appealing to both of us

Mike Fal

@PaulWhite Heck no.

@Lamak Thanks man. Very happy with it.

Paul White

@MikeFal Hence my statement. 33% of population of NZ (both islands!) live in AKL.

Lamak

@MikeFal I saw twitter mentions and your link to the slides you used

Paul White

6:09 PM

@swasheck That said, Auckland often rates highly for "best city in the world" type things.

Mike Fal

@PaulWhite Yeah, but it's still only 1.5 million people

JNK

@MikeFal Wikipedia is telling me Denver has 650k

Paul White

@MikeFal My home town has ~9000 people. It's all relative. US cities are quite frightening.

JNK

The entire metro area has like 3m

Gonsalu

@Lamak can you link the slides?

JNK

6:14 PM

@PaulWhite you are correct, US cities are terrifying

Lamak

@Gonsalu sqlsaturday.com/viewsession.aspx?sat=331&sessionid=24315

swasheck

@PaulWhite hm. interesting.

Lamak

@MikeFal can I link to them? (I should've asked first)

swasheck

3 minutes into my presentation, Glenn gets up and walks out

Paul White

@swasheck Oh and I forgot the traffic. The traffic can be awful. Relatively speaking.

ypercube

6:16 PM

@swasheck who is Glenn?

Lamak

@swasheck maybe it was just too advanced....and who is Glenn?

Gonsalu

@Lamak Thanks :-)

swasheck

@PaulWhite ours is rage-inducing

Paul White

@swasheck Right. You'd probably laugh at ours :)

swasheck

@Lamak @ypercube this guy

@PaulWhite nah. it's frustrating at all scales

Aaron Bertrand

6:18 PM

@swasheck he probably just needed to go re-charge his Tesla

Lamak

@swasheck oh, is it the guy with an error in the description of his presentation?

or that was another guy?

Paul White

@Lamak No that was Tom LaRockstar

swasheck

@AaronBertrand hahahahah. nah. he and keith tate were in my presentation and i made a comment about how i'd doubled the MCMs in my presentation since last time and i think he thought i was nervous.

Lamak

@PaulWhite I get confused with so many MVPs ;-)

swasheck

@PaulWhite he pulled it together nicely - except he borked the description of the histogram.

Paul White

6:20 PM

Yeah well no one's perfect. Present company excepted.

swasheck

@PaulWhite i'm sure that tom could have figured out how to change the color scheme on his management studio much faster than i did

billinkc

Yes, Paul said I'm perfect

swasheck

@billinkc no. you're "special"

billinkc

frack

swasheck

@PaulWhite numbeo.com/cost-of-living/…

fwiw

we have cheaper beer

Aaron Bertrand

6:26 PM

swasheck

hahahahahahahah

James

Yikes. numbeo.com/cost-of-living/…

Aaron Bertrand

If your cost of living decisions are prioritized around the price of beer, might I suggest oh, I don't know, Alcoholics Anonymous?

billinkc

Or working for a brewery

swasheck

@AaronBertrand it's not ... but it was just worth noting ... not to mention "completely incorrect"

we have more expensiver beer :)

billinkc

6:28 PM

Prior to the acquisition, the Boulevard Brewery had a SQL Server DBA and at one point the job requirement said "enjoy drinking beer considered helpful"

swasheck

@billinkc considering starting one. in a competition this month and winner gets to brew on big equipment

billinkc

The wedding that resulted in me not attending Denver this weekend was awesome. The Groom and his best man brewed all the beer. 5 different styles available

swasheck

@James yikes

@billinkc very cool

Paul White

@swasheck Might be right. Auckland is pretty expensive come to think about it.

swasheck

seems it

Aaron Bertrand

6:51 PM

@swasheck I know, just effing

Mike Fal

@lamak Of course. Not sure how much good they'll do people outside of context of the presentation

Lamak

@MikeFal I know, but still

Mike Fal

@Lamak Absolutely no worries, man. :)

Lamak

Ok then. Next time I'll make sure to ask first though

Mike Fal

@lamak No need to ask. If I link in a place like that, I'm intending folks to leverage that material for their own use. If they regurgitate, I only ask that they give me a shout out.

swasheck

6:55 PM

@AaronBertrand naturally. i just had to make some filler to obfuscate my "i was wrong" admission

Lamak

@MikeFal That was my first thought. Thanks

swasheck

@MikeFal and in this link, at 5'10" with well-manicured ruddiness MICHAEL FAL!!!!!!!!!

Mike Fal

No, no, just amazing hair. My fingernails are a wreck

JNK

7:14 PM

Can someone help me real fast with a permissions Q?

billinkc

artfido.com/blog/…

swasheck

@JNK not me. i suck at permissions

grant sa to public

Oh good idea

work like charm

7:17 PM

Keeps from having the death of a thousand permission cuts

ypercube

@billinkc meta-graffiti

Aaron Bertrand

7:32 PM

@M.Ali I searched quotename sql server 2000 - first hit. Not sure how you would have searched differently for that. — Aaron Bertrand 21 secs ago

@JNK what's your real fast Q?

gah, it burns

Thanks. How can I use it? Would be something like mediana(@tabla=tbl1, @campo=field1)??? — Gaby P 3 mins ago

Somebody please remove SQL Server from Gaby's machine

James

@JNK Use MongoDB. It's webscale because you can run it without permissions or authentication.

swasheck

@James or brains. or writes. or common sense.

JNK

sorry

Aaron Bertrand

or joins

JNK

OK real Q is I have a role with some rights I granted for specific objects

swasheck

7:36 PM

@AaronBertrand loins?

AH

JOINs

JNK

One of these appears to not be inheriting underlying table permissions

i.e. the STP updates a table

the role and user both do not have any denys or other rights on the table

swasheck

stone temple pilots are dbas now?

JNK

I BELIEVE this is because this permission is listed as being granted by another user who no longer has rights to this table

but I can't get the grantor to change

i.e. I'll revoke and grant and it shows up as being granted by the other user

Aaron Bertrand

JNK

I'm glad that's all you got from that :)

swasheck

7:38 PM

SQUIRREL!

Aaron Bertrand

So you grant the permission to the role, and it shows the grantor as some other user?

Sorry, above my pay grade apparently

JNK

yes

I'm logged in as a windows user with SA

should I try alter authorization?

that's for owners though right?

billinkc

mali will soon overtake me in unicorn points

Aaron Bertrand

alter authorization on what exactly?

@billinkc you'll never catch Guffa or Gordon. Doesn't mean we like them more.

Lamak

@AaronBertrand this guy is aptem, right?

0

Q: casting date to datetime with 00:00:00:000

I am casting several hundred million data points. I am starting with 2008-10-20 01:33:20 023 and I need to return 2008-10-20 00:00:00:000 The way I am currently performing this is: SELECT CAST(CAST('2008-10-20 01:33:20 023 AS DATE) AS DATETIME This is performing two operations, since there ar...

bluefeet

7:44 PM

@Lamak yes

Lamak

ah, thought so. The semi high rep with an insane number of golden badges gave him away

@AaronBertrand you should get extra rep every time that some of your blog posts solves SO questions

also, lol:

25

Q: Weird Google result description

The thread in question: Matlab: Scatter plots with large datasets & colorbar Screenshot: Google query was "matlab plot penis".

support hot-questions google

bluefeet

@billinkc better start answering

@Lamak this was my fave

........ headdesk — Tim Post ♦ 6 hours ago

Lamak

yeah, Tim is a funny guy

Aaron Bertrand

8:01 PM

@Lamak that is completely terrible.

im only allowed to cast one side of the data validation data sources — Yuck 1 min ago

"only allowed"? WTF? Is your mommy validating your queries?

Lamak

lol

@AaronBertrand one of the reasons I suspected this guy was aptem

Aaron Bertrand

How on earth is there only still one down-vote

JNK

I figured it out

If anyone is curious DBO didn't have ownership of a couple of schemas

Lamak

@AaronBertrand weird, I can't vote

bluefeet

@billinkc get some unicorn points -- stackoverflow.com/questions/25982241/…

Lamak

8:05 PM

uh, I can't vote in any post. I mean, I can, but if I refresh later it doesn't show it

Aaron Bertrand

@JNK odd manifestation - I would have assumed if you just set GRANT it simply was keeping the old GRANT, but you said it happened if you revoke and then grant?

JNK

yeah

If i revoked, I saw it disappear from sys.database_permissions

then if I granted again as me it showed up with the old user as grantor

Aaron Bertrand

shrug sorry, never would have connected those dots. Why does dbo not have ownership of schemas

JNK

no idea

This is a legacy patchwork of permissions

Lamak

Now I can vote, I had to restart chrome....weird

JNK

8:07 PM

i.e. there are ton of explicit object permissions instead of just using schemas

for new stuff we use schemas and roles and such

Aaron Bertrand

@Lamak 64-bit chrome for me, after a while, forgets how to copy / paste. Restart solves that too.

Lamak

I wonder if none of my votes registered today

Aaron Bertrand

It's unfortunate it is not the best browser but the least suckiest browser.

billinkc

@bluefeet Heck no. They indicate they are running this from SQL Agent but the error message states "SQL Server Import and Export Wizard" which is not automatable so they have no idea what they're doing. Plus, looks like Preet can read error messages as well as I can

Lamak

@AaronBertrand I agree with that. For me, Chrome was the best for a long time, but lately is starting to get on my nerves

bluefeet

8:09 PM

@billinkc :D - you're too picky

JNK

chrome is distressing if you look at task manager. You have 3 tabs open but see 20 instances of chrome in memory with like 100mb each

bluefeet

@Lamak you can check from your profile

swasheck

@JNK yeah

billinkc

@JNK Where Chrome really ahem shines is when you view an SSRS embedded report

Lamak

@JNK yeah, and at first it was so every tab was independent, so if one crush it didn't kill the others, but now it kill everything almost always

@bluefeet I did, had no votes today till now :-/

@billinkc lol

swasheck

8:11 PM

@billinkc code for one browser

bluefeet

@Lamak weird

billinkc

Goodbye Si http://t.co/maqksrkWUf

Tweeted by Zanebrunette on September 22, 2014 at 8:10 PM

:(

so sad

Oh hi heapers

8:14 PM

And then we have happy things

swasheck

icy blue stare

Aaron Bertrand

@billinkc bummer, so sorry @zane

bluefeet

the heap is full of ups and downs

billinkc

Whenever I see pictures like Aaron's, I'm immediately trying to read book titles

Lamak

@AaronBertrand adorable

and the baby too

@Zane that sucks dude

@bluefeet yeah, first time for me. And if @AaronBertrand hadn't said that aptem's question had only one downvote I wouldn't have noticed

Aaron Bertrand

8:20 PM

Oh and for other giggles

From the SQL Server Pro web site earlier today

swasheck

nice

Lamak

@AaronBertrand what the heck?

Aaron Bertrand

Hey sqlperformance.com runs on MySQL (not by choice but because WordPress and all its plugins are extremely difficult and frustrating to get running on SQL Server)

billinkc

@AaronBertrand I'm confused. In the baby pictures the red books are all on the right hand side but this shows them on the left.

Oh, I bet this is a mac with their mirror image camera, yeah?

Aaron Bertrand

Yeah photobooth flips the image

Or I'm really anal retentive about how my bookshelf looks

JNK

8:26 PM

Photobooth does flip it

so do skype/facetime

it's to make it less disorienting to look at yourself

billinkc

Is that why?

swasheck

@AaronBertrand clearly

Lamak

@billinkc not for you, your face is already distorted

billinkc

I had never noticed it until my sister asked if I got a discount on my shirt because the logo was backwards

@Lamak <-- This is my disapproval face. Only you bring it out. It's normal for everyone else

JNK

Its confusing otherwise to raise your right hand and see your image's left hand raise

we expect it to be like a mirror

Lamak

8:30 PM

@billinkc So, I'm special?

billinkc

Very special

bluefeet

@Lamak do you really need @billinkc to tell you that?

Lamak

@bluefeet well, he's special too, so

bluefeet

I mean you have lipstick on your cheek, doesn't that automatically make you special?

is this on-topic here?

0

Q: SSMS 2014 (and 2012) CTRL+TAB requires pressing enter

Sometime last week my CTRL+TAB behavior changed. I used to hit CTRL+TAB, release, then I would be in my previous document tab. Now I hit CTRL+TAB, release, and the nav window is still open requiring me to hit enter. I have tried restarting ssms and rebooting several times. This is an issue in...

ssms

Lamak

@bluefeet it does

swasheck

8:32 PM

@bluefeet his check? is that the art he chose for his check?

bluefeet

@swasheck hey, I'm sorta missing a finger typing today - be nice

Lamak

@swasheck we can't choose art for the checks here

swasheck

@Lamak lucky you

Zane

That little baby is cute as hell.

swasheck

@bluefeet i didnt know that. you have my deepest and most sincere apologies

Lamak

8:34 PM

@swasheck I think so too

bluefeet

@swasheck get caught up

6 hours ago, by bluefeet

knife blade thru my finger nail = emergency trip to urgent care

swasheck

@bluefeet why would you do that?

@bluefeet ain't nobody got time for that

bluefeet

@swasheck it wasn't on purpose

swasheck

ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

billinkc

She was trying out for a part in an indie Aliens reboot

bluefeet

8:39 PM

I was testing out my Edward Scissorhands costume

and it didn't go very well

or I was playing with a switchblade and I missed.

take your pick

swasheck

clearly too soon for a woodchipper comment

bluefeet

my head hurts reading this -- stackoverflow.com/questions/25982799/…

bluefeet

9:01 PM

@MartinSmith No, it is not a common error. In fact it never happened. This is defensive programming. I'd rather my program fails than corrupt the data in the database. One need to anticipate failures one could have made in the code. And in the generated SQL, having a mismatch between the generated WHEN THEN clauses and the WHERE clause is one plausible programming error, which could have bad consequences. — kasperd 22 secs ago

swasheck

wow

hhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

bluefeet

9:23 PM

I want to see this function

> Insert into UserStat values (CAST(DATEFROMPARTS(2014,9,1) AS datetime),1,1,9999)

0

Q: Column is invalid in the select list because it is not contained in an aggregate function

I have below tables: Create Table Country(CountryID int primary key, CountryName nvarchar(100) not null) Create Table DeviceType(DeviceTypeID int primary key, DeviceTypeName nvarchar(100) not null) Create Table UserStat ( LocalID int primary key identity(1,1), TimePeriod datetime not null, Count...

sql sql-server group-by

billinkc

lakhs of not understanding

Paul White

@bluefeet ? Are you asking what DATEFROMPARTS is all about ?

bluefeet

@PaulWhite um, yeah. I'd never seen that one :/

I'm tired and fingerless today :)

billinkc

Get thee to a Denali!

swasheck

9:40 PM

wow. and it's deterministic

Paul White

@bluefeet SQL Server 2012 and later (as KFC said)

bluefeet

@PaulWhite hmm, I guess I'm slow :)

billinkc

I have a strange hankering for substandard fried chicken

Paul White

:) Sorry

Paul White

10:08 PM

@BrentO http://i.imgur.com/OdZBu4U.jpg #FasterThanAzureSSDs

Tweeted by SQL_Kiwi on September 22, 2014 at 10:07 PM

I just did a meme!

Hope I did it right :-/

James

Hah

I guess Azure SSD is not so great?

swasheck

what is azure ssd, precious?

ah

@James here. post this with the hashtag (twitter post is blocked for me)

Paul White

@James Glenn Berry's Azure SSD test today

swasheck

ah

Paul White

@swasheck The SSD probably walked out 3 minutes into his test.

swasheck

10:17 PM

BURN!!!!!!!!!

James

I think they limit the IOPS per disk to 500. I went to a precon Friday where it was recommended to connect a truckload of disks to each VM for that reason. That said, I don't know if that limit applies to these SSDs or not.

"These are not very impressive results for an SSD." <-- I didn't know Glenn was that understated.

Actually, I can't imagine they throttle IOPS that badly if they're recommending these disks for BPE.

swasheck

@James oh yeah. he's a really good guy. super nice

Paul White

@James Exactly. And yet ... there we are.

swasheck

marketing dept needs help with this because it's not going to play very well with the community

Paul White

If MSFT were anything like on the case, they'd've had a BPE-suitable Azure offering from the day 2014 RTM'd.

swasheck

10:26 PM

good point

maybe they hoped that people would stop paying attention at "SSD"

Paul White

Hope is cheap.

swasheck

my last VP of IT said, "Hope is not a strategy"

Paul White

Ha!

James

The 500 IOPS limit is mentioned here: msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/azure/dn197896.aspx I suppose it might be possible that it's getting misapplied to the SSDs.

swasheck

interesting

OHNOES

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The Heap™ – Consultancy ©®