The Frying Pan

"Now where was I... Oh yes. I was headed over to the store on dickity-second street. We had to say dickity because the kaiser stole the number twenty. I chased him for dickity-three miles before I gave up. Anyway..."

Jolenealaska

Will you come visit me? For like a month? Bring your lovely family, Alaska is great this time of year.

ElendilTheTall

hit your dad up for the airfare, we're there :)

Jolenealaska

!!

ElendilTheTall

tell him you're hiring a consultant and his team :D

Jolenealaska

12:10 PM

hmmmm

Even I can't be that manipulative. But it's a fun fantasy:)

Cindy

Bring me in and we'll call it a consultant conference.

Jolenealaska

Oh please! It's getting better and better!

But it has to wait until I'm done moving.

Because moving sucks

And it is very stressful.

Cindy

Rumi can be a consultant, too.

Jolenealaska

That would be so cool!

But she is such a nerd I would never get her away from the school.

@Cerberus maybe, but he would require some explaining.

ElendilTheTall

@Jolenealaska who needs manipulation? flights from the UK to Anchorage = around $2000. $6000 for 3 (Anarion will go free). $6000 measly dollars?! He probably makes that in interest every week!

Jolenealaska

12:14 PM

It's a good thing I can be a silver tongued cevil!

devil!

He actually is stressing retirement.

It's a little mind-boggling, but he is hoping for $1 million bonus.

From someone.

ElendilTheTall

O.o

Jolenealaska

I'm a little unclear, I generally stop listening well before it gets to this point.

ElendilTheTall

how the other half live eh?

Jolenealaska

You could say that.

ElendilTheTall

£10,000 would be a life-altering amount for us

Jolenealaska

12:15 PM

He once referred to Julie's husband as the other .0009%

Cindy

As always it's been a pleasure but I must go for now. See you guys later.

Jolenealaska

Cindy it really has been a pleasure. Thanks for stopping.

ElendilTheTall

@Cindy cya C. Keep on keeping on!

Jolenealaska

Come back for another pep talk. I don't know if it does you any good, but it does me.

ElendilTheTall

lol

Jolenealaska

12:17 PM

Thank you

ElendilTheTall

i must get around to winning the lottery, I'd give you both a pile of cash

Jolenealaska

That would be so awesome.

I'd play the lottery myself except for that whole damn math thing.

It makes my brain hurt.

Having this damn software feels like losing 50 pounds.

I can actually read and message at the same time.

Damn!

ElendilTheTall

great

just what we need, more jojo per minute ;)

Jolenealaska

You know I love it when you talk like that!

My landlord is going to be here in four hours (she postponed, not me).

I still haven't slept or cleaned.

Or showered for that matter!

And I have a hot date the day after tomorrow.

For some reason that doesn't even begin to bother me.

I have faith (snort) that this too shall pass.

ElendilTheTall

:)

Jolenealaska

12:26 PM

Dad hasn't actually said that he will give/loan me the money that I need.

But, I don't think he wants his daughter sleeping under a bridge.

Even during summer.

But it's getting down to the wire, Dad!

I'm rethinking that conversation we had to two ish three-ish-ish days ago.

What the hell was I thinking?

Apparently not much.

The most encouragement I have received from him was when I told him that I was drowning in credit card debt. He asked, quote how much?"

When I told him, he said "well that's not bad"

I haven't spoken to him since.

But he did buy me this program and a few other things (including a printer and scanner) through an Amazon gift card.

He corrected my math rather pointedly, and said he was only sending me this much, because he added it up.

Oh FFS!

He said that in an email not in person

He did that when my cousin blew his brains out too.

I asked him to please not ever do that again.

ElendilTheTall

<uses word crowbar> yes, I recall

Jolenealaska

The word that I have really enjoyed lately is "Hammer"

Apparently some mods are enjoying their new title.

Maybe someday for me too, but not today.

Probably not this calendar year, but maybe next.

ElendilTheTall

I have yet to use 'meromictic' in every day conversation

this saddens me

Jolenealaska

Until then, I look at some of the answers that I have written on SA, and I think of some of the "advice" we just gave to Cindy!

Wow!!

Okay, I'll bite.

ElendilTheTall

but less so than not using monimolimnion

Jolenealaska

12:36 PM

Okay, I'll bite.

ElendilTheTall

I'll bet you will... oh

Meromictic is the scientific term for a body of water with layers that do not intermix

Jolenealaska

D don't make me Google it!

FFS, Dragon just brought me to Google.

ElendilTheTall

lol

Jolenealaska

If it keeps anticipating me, it's going to piss me off!

ElendilTheTall

The monimolimnion is the bottom layer in a meromictic body of water

Jolenealaska

12:38 PM

I don't like that

FFS! Quit it!

ElendilTheTall

I'm sure you can turn that kind of thing off

Jolenealaska

Sure I can too. I'm fairly certain we had this conversation. I don't like it.

I want it to do exactly what I want it to do, and no more.

That reminds me of my husband, but that's another story.

ElendilTheTall

:D

"Sit there and look pretty"

though having said that, I have seen his photo

Jolenealaska

Close, but no cigar.

LOL!

I thought he was very very handsome.

Truly I did.

I mean it.

I loved that man.

I still miss him sometimes.

But not always.

I think the book will have a glaring omission.

ElendilTheTall

@Jolenealaska love is blind ;)

Jolenealaska

12:43 PM

Yes.

I fell in love with him the moment I saw him.

I kid you not.

ElendilTheTall

haha! you beauty!

sorry, New Zealand are 2 for 1 in the cricket

Jolenealaska

This is actually an awesome story.

Ha! I almost get that!!

I was in his bosses room.

ElendilTheTall

they have 2 runs and have 1 man out

Jolenealaska

Holy shit!

ElendilTheTall

@Jolenealaska boss' (we'll blame dragon)

Jolenealaska

12:45 PM

Dragon took room as read that back!

I didn't know it would do that!

I nearly jumped through the ceiling.

Blaming Dragon is a very very good plan.

I approve.

ElendilTheTall

this is where voice recognition falls down

Jolenealaska

It is trying to get me, but failing miserably.

The third day is a charm, I am sure.

Think Goldilocks

It tried to do a scan of like everything I have ever written ever on my computer, but it choked near the end.

ElendilTheTall

I'm not surprised, who knows what you've got tucked away on there?

Jolenealaska

That might explain it.

ElendilTheTall

the scrabble logs alone

Jolenealaska

12:49 PM

Or not, perhaps it had something to do with the 50 files that were quarantined.

Holy crap I didn't even think about that.

Scrabble.

Well no wonder it's confused!

I can't type for shit, but, I do have a functional Scrabble vocabulary!

Between that and the Cap'n Crunch cookie recipe, it all makes perfect sense.

Now.

But it is 5 AM, so, I might wake up and forget this entire conversation.

I'm not entirely sure, but I think Dragon knew how to spell Cap'n Crunch.

Now I need to Google.

Or later.

ElendilTheTall

how is the quest to fit into your jeans going?

have you managed to sit down in them yet?

Jolenealaska

I haven't checked, but I feel pretty good.

I have a mental number is okay in my mind. I am below that number.

Nobody who looks after my health disagrees with my assessment.

One thing I have learned over the years, is to not give a shit what anybody else thinks.

This step-bitch taught me that one.

Maybe that's the key.

I should give her credit where it's due.

Congratulations if you can read that, but the very fact that I'm screwing up is a good sign.

ElendilTheTall

1:04 PM

all perfectly legible

Jolenealaska

Cool cool.

ElendilTheTall

of course, it's me: I have spoken to you so much it may be complete gibberish to everyone else, but my jojo filter has engaged without me even knowing it

Jolenealaska

Of this I have no doubt.

ElendilTheTall

Let me copy and paste a line, see how it looks to you

Jolenealaska

:-)

Of course!

ElendilTheTall

1:06 PM

Ndbdf who l##d af4tre m heaaalf diswicheese wiv mi assmount

crystal!

Jolenealaska

It's really funny that you should bring that up.

I was just discussing that on ELL.

And yes, I read it quite clearly and instantly.

Except Crystal

I don't know what Crystal is

ElendilTheTall

crystal clear

ironically enough

Jolenealaska

Aha! That occurred, but I dismissed it.

Irony is today's theme.

I will write it down.

And ponder that.

ElendilTheTall

do you pronounce it 'iron-y' or 'i-ron-y'?

Jolenealaska

I Ron(like the name) EE.

That was really bad but I think you get it.

ElendilTheTall

1:09 PM

yes

that's my girl

Jolenealaska

Big grin

ElendilTheTall

i'll leave the location of the pat up to you ;)

Jolenealaska

That was the name of one of my favorite emoticons on IMDb.

Holy shit

It knew how to capitalize that!

It has been listening

It's like it knows

I'm ignoring the pat line, but I do that. :-)

ElendilTheTall

yeah, you're no fun :P

Jolenealaska

None whatsoever. What are you doing with a prude like me?

Oh come on now, that was just wide open!

You disappoint me.

:-)

ElendilTheTall

1:14 PM

sorry, I was distracted

Jolenealaska

Ah, that explains it

ElendilTheTall

i don't know which to pick now, the prude one or the wide open one ;)

Jolenealaska

A plethora

Eight letters!

I like that word.

ElendilTheTall

Three Amigos-What Is A Plethora?

►

Jolenealaska

You are better at that than I am (a YouTube video as punch line)

I cannot tell you how much that turns me on! :)

ElendilTheTall

1:19 PM

two mexican bandits? kinky

Jolenealaska

That too.

ElendilTheTall

lol

that's a very specific turn on by the way

"I really like a guy who can search youtube for salient videos in web chats"

Jolenealaska

??

ElendilTheTall

"rowr!"

Jolenealaska

LOL!

I think you have just told me how I may end the thing with Marv.

Compared to him, I'm a computer guru.

He knows planes, but not computers.

Like at all.

ElendilTheTall

1:22 PM

it's funny how they baffle some people

Jolenealaska

I mean I expect to be over anyway. He's reaching retirement age, he's pushing the envelope to see me.

ElendilTheTall

there is a certain amount of skeuomorphism involved that I think some people just don't get

Jolenealaska

It is a really really is.

Okay

Once again, I'll bite.

But your time is extremely limited.

I suck at typing, but I'm quick with the mouse.

Got it!

Cute, but expected.

ElendilTheTall

@Jolenealaska me to a tee

Jolenealaska

<snort>

Yes

At least what you have shown me.

:-)

ElendilTheTall

1:26 PM

keep fishin'

Jolenealaska

Yes sir

You know someday I'm going to wear you down.

Someday

Perhaps in the very very distant future

But it will happen

And I am now typing faster than the chat room will accept.

I'll be damned.

ElendilTheTall

happens to me all the time, dashed annoying

If I spun as many yarns as you I'd go mental

;)

Jolenealaska

I mean not once not twice but like many times.

Snort

I didn't even know it did that.

Half the time, the room moves so fast, that I miss (or have missed) a lot of it.

ElendilTheTall

yeah, it's a whirlwind of high-level oratory all right

Jolenealaska

R. Kelly - I Believe I Can Fly

►

ElendilTheTall

1:31 PM

you can fly as far as the spam filter lets you

Jolenealaska

:)

ElendilTheTall

it amounts to more of a graceful hop along the landing strip

washingtonpost.com/news/speaking-of-science/wp/2015/05/28/…

Jolenealaska

Shit....now it doesn't seem to hear me!

How do you find that shit?

You're talking to me with one hand, and googling with the other, and checking email with your nose?

I mean I like it, don't get don't get me wrong...

But I am befuddled.

ElendilTheTall

Tabs, baby

and keyboard shortcuts

Jolenealaska

AH!

ElendilTheTall

1:36 PM

you want to go to your third tab? Ctrl+ 3

Second tab, Ctrl + 2

and so on

Jolenealaska

I had so many open today, before the scan, that it took me forever to soft boot.

ElendilTheTall

yeah... try and avoid having too many chrome tabs open. they way it handles them amounts to each one being a separate open program, it kills performance

I try and have a maximum of 4

Jolenealaska

Little by little, bit by bit, I think I will someday be ummmm...

Proficient??

ElendilTheTall

you're already that

someday you will be a complete nerd

Jolenealaska

I get way way way too pissed off.

ElendilTheTall

1:38 PM

heck, you know a few MS-DOS commands

hahaha

Jolenealaska

:)

ElendilTheTall

i get pissed off at the computer all damn day

Jolenealaska

One that opera with the shoulder so the the draw of Motz has tested the

ElendilTheTall

quite

Jolenealaska

It's a weird thing,

Not a skill.

Don't make me start with Bible verses because I can do it.

And the books of the Bible from Genesis to Revelations

Genesis Exodus Leviticus numbers Deuteronomy Joshua Judges Ruth Samuel one Samuel toect...

ElendilTheTall

1:40 PM

that's nothing to be proud of, fundie :P

Jolenealaska

Snort

That impressed the hell out of my great great grandfather.

You can never ever take that away from me.

!

I immediately become became his favorite grandchild.

Instantly.

ElendilTheTall

lol

Jolenealaska

And then I played Pente with the second-generation? Of grandchildren.

And all bets were off.

Her name cracks me up

Christi

Not to be confused with Sherri

I don't know actually what that means.

But I do like the word share!

Certainly more than the word (name) Christ.

But I don't think they were actually thinking about that because Sherri was the oldest

Which kind of doesn't make sense.

But I don't spend a lot of time thinking about how my grandparents thought.

I'd dearly dearly dearly loved grandma Bonnie, though.

She just died last year. Last calendar year, probably November?

I remember thinking for her, that I hope she was right all along.

She looked so sad when I told her that I don't believe it.

ElendilTheTall

I remember the first time I said so to my mother

Jolenealaska

Yes?

ElendilTheTall

1:51 PM

she said 'Why not?!' and I said 'Why do you?'

she had no real reply

Jolenealaska

I want so badly to say that to members of my family.

ElendilTheTall

but we have never been a particularly religious family

so it wasn't a big deal

none of her grandchildren are christened which she occasionally grumbles about

Jolenealaska

I was kind of torn in all directions, and it took forever for me to decide where I stood.

That sounds a little like Diane.

ElendilTheTall

I always say the same thing - I will not have my kids part of some sinister organisation that would apparently burn them hell in for eternity because a cross dressing loon hasn't splashed water over their heads

Jolenealaska

Somewhere in the back of her little pea brain, she sees both sides of the issue.

But she doesn't want to face it.

That is exactly the kind of thing that drives my father nuts.

ElendilTheTall

1:53 PM

yes

ignorance is one thing, wilful, if not prideful ignorance is a different matter entirely

Jolenealaska

Absolutely.

ElendilTheTall