java-addict301

@CaptainEmacs It does sound to me like you are overly concerned with "saving face" as it seems you have started into hyperbole and anecdotes to defend. I did indeed respond to your "turn the tables" concern with the advice simply to not engage (which I believe you rejected). Regarding your second comment, I have appealed to widely accepted principles from the field of psychology which your seem to reject in favor of your opinions ("I believe..", "I feel", etc). This is thus my last message.

@RiversMcForge saying something isn't passive aggressive doesn't make it so. I suggest reviewing the definition. dictionary.com/browse/passive-aggressive. This will be my last response to you.

@CaptainEmacs I agree we are arguing in circles. To me, copping out saying you are a practitioner is akin to an engineer saying "that is physics, but I'm a practitioner". Why would you need to 'save face'? "You actually want the student to realize their rudeness without having to make it explicit" That's the point, they very well may Not since you never told them directly. How can you ensure they don't think you simply don't like them? This is one (of many) reasons it's a psychological anti pattern, and that is Absolutely relevant since you are a practitioner (especially as an educator).

@CaptainEmacs " that defeats the purpose. You actually want the student to realize their rudeness without having to make it explicit" why?? I don't understand the purpose of not stating it explicitly. Is it so you can avoid an uncomfortable five seconds? Realize this goes against the recommendation of most professionals in the field of psychology.

@RiversMcForge this "and usefully respond to every email sent to me five minutes before deadline" is passive aggressive and is a psychological anti pattern that should be avoided. Much better to just tell them that They shouldn't expect it, rather than being passive aggressive.

@CaptainEmacs I understand, but I don't believe there is ever a place for passive-aggressive behavior (indeed, it is generally recognized as an anti pattern in psychology). I would be much more concerned with you showing students passive-aggressive strategies over authority-based argument, when the latter is actually quite common in many aspects of society. Regardless, deciding between passive-aggressive behavior and arguing is false dichotomy (just because you are sarcastic to someone doesn't mean you won't have to argue).

@RiversMcForge I assure you I'm not. Keep in mind that the more genuine and sincere the delivery of a passive-aggressive statement, the more patronizing and demeaning it will come across (such as insulting someone's intelligence).

@RiversMcForge I agree that the gentle reminder is important. I disagree that this sarcasm is 'gentle' and harmless (I suspect if you were on the receiving end of it you might agree, but I could be mistaken). I would personally find this inappropriate if I were to receive it in a professional setting.

@RiversMcForge I would argue that sarcasm such as that is counter productive as it is likely to incite anger/resentment, in addition to informing the individual. So, why not just inform them? "I do not check my email constantly due to other responsibilities as a professor, so please do not expect an instant response through that medium". Better yet, inform the entire class in the syllabus and simply refer the student to the syllabus rather than trying to 'get a dig in'.

@CaptainEmacs " no I don't have the option not to answer if the student..." - I was referring to not engaging them back when they start to argue (as you mentioned they might). It is actually perfectly legitimate to tell the student (child, employee, etc) "I am not going to argue about it".when they decide to argue back. If the person truly is being argumentative about something, then everyone else will see your point also. Why is it your problem if the student/child/employee doesn't see it also? simply refuse to engage (you teach others how to treat you in this way. Will you argue?).

@CaptainEmacs whether you call it 'passive-aggressive' or 'not being direct and open', the effect is the same. The person on the receiving end has no idea why they are receiving the behavior, and is forced to interpret it. In this case, the student could easily interpret it as the professor "having it out for them", especially if they see other students treated differently. Some people will argue with you whether you're being passive-aggressive or not. That doesn't mean you have to engage back however (and you especially have this option as a professor). Direct and open is better, IMO.

IMO, passive-aggressive behavior is never an appropriate (or professional) response. To "serve something chilled", "use sarcasm", or "respond coldly" are just terrible ways to communicate the same thing to the person - "I'm a person too, and I didn't appreciate your tone". Why not just say this outright, instead of playing all these games? I think most people would prefer direct communication, as opposed to receiving a passive-aggressive response. Did you consider what this student might think if their professor responds coldly/with sarcasm? My guess is they will think they don't like them.

To be blunt, this sounds like a very dangerous and bad idea (whether legal or not). There are plenty of ways to distribute these without turning them into deadly projectiles. Please don't.