The Awkward Silence

7:00 AM

@EmC yup

7:18 AM

Heya, wishing all of you a good start in the week :)

Q: How to deal with "Non-Disabled" People parking on Handicap Parking Spots?

0

This morning, when I went to the local bakery, a woman parked on the handicap spot right in front of the store. To me, she didn't look disabled at all. Granted, not every disability is visible from the outside, so to say, but here in Germany you have to have a special sticker stuck to the inside ...

germany strangers disability

0

Q: How to talk to family about their travel to my country?

It has happened several times. They want to come to me mainly because I have a son. I am happy to help but they both fail to do enough of their own research and don't share all the information I need to help them e.g. My brother came and he doesn't have a working mobile phone because it doesn't w...

family travelling

Morning all, first day at my new job today, I will probably be way less active in here ^^

7:35 AM

@Noon You should. ^^ Have fun then :) Btw what are you workign as?

@dhein I will be testing software, finding the remaining bugs in them

Uhhhh that sounds being fun :) Is it a big company?

Then have a nice day. I should focus more on work today too >.<

It's a ~30 people company so, not really big

@Noon "THERE! A BUG! HOW COULD YOU NOT SPOT IT, FOR CASH'S SAKE?"

Yeah, I try to find substitutes for "God" and "Lord", and I think @Cash could pretty much fill in for the job

@avazula Ahah :P

@avazula You could also replace "God" and "Lord" by "Me", like: "Oh Dear Me" or "For Me sake!". I find it's quite funny when you know what you are replacing :P

7:50 AM

@Noon Ooh, that's nice too! I should do this when Cash isn't around because without him there's no fun doing it haha

Exactly :D But, when Cash isn't around, people might think that your god is "Money" so, that could be funny too :P

@Noon Right, and it's even funnier when you know how much of a anticapitalist hippie I am IRL :p

@avazula Yeah but you could be worshiping the god "Money" as a critic of capitalism so there is really a lot of different ways this can be interpreted and still be funny!

@Noon That'd be more of a private joke as quite few people in here know about it (I think you might be the only one actually) but I guess that it's just a matter of time before people discover how much of a hippie witch I am :D

Will Hunting

8:08 AM

Hi @noon and @avazula LOL

Hey there

Alright, time to go, see you later everyone :)

8:33 AM

reopen-pls | Untangling the intersections of transphobia, fetishization, and reality

@Mithrandir idk, I think the goal still needs to be re-focused

Seems to me that the goal is opening a constructive discussion and persuading them to at least not use derogatory terms

yeah, and usually that would be enough but I am familiar with the culture (I think) being talked about here. And on most meme sharing sites I know the response is almost certainly going to be negative to this type of thing, regardless of how good the goal is when its in the context of a metaphorical tightrope walk we need to be as specific as possible.

@Mithrandir for example, your interpreted goal here is different to mine. (I think OP said he wanted to explain why its not okay), but there is also mentions of untangling fantasy (when we are talking about a fictional work) which might be confusing and there is also a big difference between explaining (OP's words) and discussing. Very different

8:51 AM

@Mithrandir voted to reopen

I think constructive advice can be had here

.. well i think talking with the moon will yield more results than discussing on 9gag

I just took it to mean general advice on how to broach sensitive subjects (interpersonal advice to make that work)

On an unrelated note: wow the rate of comments has dropped

@Mithrandir traffic and posts has dropped in general if you ask me

@Mithrandir That's because the usual hnq visitor workflow is "Wow this is interesting" -> "I have some opinions about this question/answer/other comment" -> "Hey I have assoc bonus, I can comment" -> posting comment

9:05 AM

Actually... most of the commenters from HNQ had more than 101 rep

@Cashbee I think our page views, new views and activity is about 1/3 as before

downvotes are largely unchanged, upvotes down by about 60% (from what I can see)

one third??? didnt think it was that drastic

questions per day are down slightly, answers per day by about half, I think

what about on-topic questions?

I would have to work SEDE for unclosed vs closed qs

9:10 AM

ah, nevermind then

interpersonal.stackexchange.com/tools/… - Over the past 30 days, 66,67% of questions asked were closed

dayum

whoa, was not aware of that tool!

9:55 AM

@Cash you need 250 rep to be able to VTRO your own stuff

interpersonal.stackexchange.com/help/privileges/…

@Mithrandir yea, but when you edit, I think it puts it in reopen queue

Yes, but that's still not a reopen vote.

A: How do you reopen a closed question?

63

Voting to reopen You must have the "view close votes" privilege in order to vote to reopen your own question. Users with the "cast close and reopen votes" privilege can vote to reopen any closed question, not only their own. On established sites, these privileges are awarded at 250 and 3000 repu...

@Mithrandir ah okay. but it gets the ball rollin

Sure.

Q: Can someone please give me some relationship advice?

10:55 AM

0

I have this really close friend and she said to me she wants to be with me once we both get mentally stable. she used to say we might be together but now she says when we get together. We are in the process of having mock dates every month so she can prepare me for a real one. She said we might b...

difficult-people romance

Q: old crippled man begging for money to run his family

12:12 PM

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Back on Friday when i was buying sweets in a bakery, an old crippled man came in a bakery and asked for money actually he was a beggar and he needs money for his survival afterwards when i came back home a remors wave of sadness crippled upon me i was very sad the depression of old man pain effe...

public-issues how-to-help

2:49 PM

@Mithrandir Thanks.

np

@Mithrandir Keep an eye on that one for a while? I have to go catch a train soon, and now that it's reopened it might become a target for more trolling...

Q: Should i tell my partner about a dark secret of mine or not?

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I am looking for some advice. Basically i am 25 years old and i have this new girlfriend. We are together since a few months. Everything is going pretty well with us we are really happy and we love each other a lot. To the issue: I have dark secret, something that i did when i was 15years old. ...

relationships

@Tinkeringbell I was thinking about protecting it, what do you think?

@avazula It's not my question ;)

3:04 PM

@apaul? Any objection that I protect it?

@Tinkeringbell (I know, I just wanted your mod POV)

@avazula I'm on the fence about that.

@Tinkeringbell what do you mean? That we should do what feels right without having to consult you because this site is community driven?

No, that I'm not sure if it should be protected or not ;)

@Tinkeringbell Huh, nevermind, I just googled it. Sorry

Yeah, me neither, which is why I haven't protected it yet.

For now, just watching it and getting rid of anything that doesn't belong there will suffice, I think.

3:07 PM

it just needs eyeballs

@Mithrandir (And someone that can round up a few ~~mods~~ flags if needed, which is why I asked you :P)

@Tinkeringbell That requires people around... I'll try to keep an eye on it but it's kinda hard today, I have a full day of meetings

;)

Oh god could you imagine a question with eyeballs? Watching you as you read...

@Tinkeringbell watching that question

ironically not like a hawk

3:08 PM

hahaha

@scohe001 - puts that on list for future Puzzling.SE question

@Magisch Problem is I have to fly soon :P

@Tinkeringbell southwards migration?

@Magisch Nah, north. I did south this morning ;)

making bird jokes is just too good

3:14 PM

@Magisch It's kinda easy too ;) And fun :)

indeed

→ 13 messages moved to Trash

@avazula I don't think that's what protecting is for.

@apaul I saw you had some fun yesterday on MSE :p

Q: How do I make my friend feel better after he comparing our dating app profiles?

3:31 PM

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I am a male and recently I created a profile on this famous dating app and put quite a lot of effort on it, and got a decent amount of matches and really nice conversations. A few days ago I showed the results to my best friend and it made him sad. He said: "I had no one to compare to, but now I...

friends friendship self-esteem

@Magisch wouldn't call it "fun" exactly.

@apaul I agree. I w

As yesterday already wondering why specific post got protected while its more a sign for good content afaik

3:46 PM

@dhein On IPS or?

From the Help Center: Questions should be protected when they are garnering lots of views and newbies are adding "me too!", "thanks!" and possibly even spam non-answers.

3:59 PM

+1 for pointing out that this is about the card (or sticker, or placard, or whatever the local jurisdiction uses) and not about the visible attributes of the person. (In many places cards can also be used by able-bodied drivers who are picking up a disabled passenger). I'd add that you should keep at hand the phone number of whatever agency polices this, so that you can alert them that a non-carded vehicle is parked in a a marked spot. They can dispatch someone to write a ticket. This is the right way to have this policed. — CCTO 1 min ago

#20044 CCTO (447 rep) | A: How to deal with seemingly non-disabled people parking on handicap spots? (score: 8) | posted 6 hours ago by tim (1095 rep) | Toxicity 0.10313561 | tps/fps: 0/0

Matched regex(es) ["+1"]

4:23 PM

Just in case we also have pets.stackexchange.com so you can get help with the inter pet issues :) — Juan Carlos Oropeza 40 secs ago

#19866 Juan Carlos Oropeza (299 rep) | Q: How to keep an interesting conversation going when there's a dog present at family gatherings? (score: 4) | posted 11 days ago by Tinkeringbell (20966 rep) | Toxicity 0.1054158 | tps/fps: 0/0

Matched regex(es) ["possible-aic"]

4:38 PM

it's a funny comment, but

@IPSCommentBot tp

Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps

4:51 PM

fwiw, the way I view this is that it doesn't matter how often you are home. It matters whether your name is on the lease. Is your name on the lease? If so, you're responsible for your equal share of the work, period. — only_pro 53 secs ago

Matched regex(es) ["possible-aic"]

@IPSCommentBot tp

Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps

I disagree that a person cannot be interested if they disagree with you or that style of dress in an office setting send the wrong signals. While dressing more colorfully can attract more attention that alone does not lead to that attention being anymore than an appreciation for the outfit. I do agree that your other coworker's age and marital status are relevant as it makes her perceived as less available — BKlassen 1 min ago

#20035 BKlassen (748 rep) | A: How to be Polite without giving wrong signals (because this happened before!) (score: 0) | posted 37 hours ago by Greg (415 rep) | Toxicity 0.17802311 | tps/fps: 0/0

Matched regex(es) ["chatty"]

Q: Stalking - I accuse a colleague to be a free rider. How can I ask him if he does that?

5:19 PM

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My situation: I am 35 years old, female, from Germany. I work at the university and I have a lot of male colleagues. Two years ago, a friend of mine (no colleague, living appox 500 kilometers away) told me, that he loves me. I told him that I didn't want a relationship and he started stalking me....

relationships colleagues

5:55 PM

This sounds like a fairly serious situation, I don't think I'd be comfortable trying any sort of direct confrontation if I were in that situation, are you sure you don't want to involve police? What about bringing the situation to the attention of a university resource? — BKlassen 26 secs ago

#20056 BKlassen (758 rep) | Q: Stalking - I accuse a colleague to be a free rider. How can I ask him if he does that? (score: 0) | posted 40 minutes ago by JulPal (101 rep) | Toxicity 0.19726697 | tps/fps: 0/0

Matched regex(es) ["possible-aic"]

6:08 PM

From my perspective I worry more about what if you are right, if he's already aggressive and you show that you've found him, what would he do then? If you are wrong I think giving some background on the recent things that have been happening will garner enough sympathy to mostly forgive the accusation, and if not perhaps his forgiveness isn't worth having in trade for your peace of mind — BKlassen 20 secs ago

#20056 BKlassen (758 rep) | Q: Stalking - I accuse a colleague to be a free rider. How can I ask him if he does that? (score: 0) | posted 53 minutes ago by JulPal (101 rep) | Toxicity 0.2357335 | tps/fps: 0/0

Matched regex(es) ["possible-aic"]

Q: What non-verbal communication can I use to ask if someone want physical comfort?

6:35 PM

0

Sometimes, someone will talk to you about a very emotional and/or difficult topic. In this scenario, you are supposed to give comfort to the person with whom you are talking. As someone on the autism spectrum, I always find those kinds of situations very hard to deal with as I don't know what t...

autism france non-verbal-communication

8:22 PM

@Tink what's an "abusive reopen vote"?

Seems like someone had fun flagging all closed question for reopening ><

@scohe001 Someone's been abusing their reopen voting privs.

Ahh that's a bummer :/

@apaul yeh

@dhein Which one?

@Tinkeringbell One? Wouldn't it have to be several users?

8:30 PM

@apaul from the questions Tink's been going through it's just been one

@apaul uff... The one having been discussed in here yesterday evening. It was an answer, tho. No idea if protecting answers is meant to be diferent from protecting questions.

@scohe001 Ya, I see what happened. Not sure that single reopen votes are worth flooding the front page over though?

@dhein Answers are different.

I believe it only takes one vote to stick it in the queue?

@apaul I would've just have voted 'leave closed' in the review queue, but I was stupid and skipped some stuff looking for a specific one.

I only noticed the pattern afterwards and investigated.

Looks like that user was also bulk "Looks Okay"'ing the review queue

8:32 PM

@ExtrovertedMainMan Funny side note on that one: When I had the car accident on thursday, the driver of that car was crying aswell. And I had an urgent need to hug that person for that reason.... Luckily I was aware that it would be inapropiate. But I was hella unsure what to do, till finally the codriver decided to hug her. Was very uncomfortable situation xD

This is the only other way to get those out of the queue asap

@scohe001 True, but I would guess that a mod message would have handled the behavior and the community could handle the queue? Dunno

@tink pro-tip: history > my reviews > skipped reviews, and you can then re-review the skipped ones

@apaul Well, I now learned how to not flood the front page. Next time, I won't.

@apaul meh. Tink is a doggone dedicated double diamond now, she'll figure it out

8:36 PM

nice quadruple "d"

Heh. Thanks. I couldn't find a good d-noun to round it out though :(

I was thinking "...double diamond danger," but it doesn't quite fit

9:10 PM

→ 9 messages moved to Trashcan

Mhmm...

@apaul some things don't need to be beat to death in multiple places in public

There is a time for responding, and there is a time for ignoring. There's a time for reactions, and a time for quietly removing things.

and that was way too philosophical to sound natural

Ecclesiastes Chapter 3.

I was thinking Ecclesiastes too!

that was... kinda intentional :P

9:19 PM

(Which, in hindsight, makes perfect sense...)

It's easy (for me anyway) to forget that (observing) Jews will know the entirety of the "Old Testament", including Ecclesiastes.

In theory, at least.

More likely than the average Christian in any case. :P

@El'endiaStarman what are the odds on the average Christian having any decent amount of biblical knowledge at all? It'd be interesting to see those numbers for different religions

I haven't nearly had time to learn it all yet...

Ecclesiastes also fares better than some other parts of the Old Testament because it is publicly read every year.

The Byrds - Turn! Turn! Turn! - 1965

9:25 PM

►

I'm sorry but I have to complain, I don't like the idea that someone mess with the review queue (review queue with stuff I flagged) and that potentialy bad answer are still sitting around :/ Would someone mind going through those answer and making sure that they receveid a new flag if they deserve it?

@scohe001 Yeah, this gets into the issue of "nominal" Christian versus "practicing Christian". If a given Christian goes to church regularly, they should have a minimally decent amount of Biblical knowledge.

One can only hope

Pew research has the numbers! Looks like an average of 39% across religious groups (most of them Christian) in the USA in 2007.

I'd like to talk to some of those "don't know" people lol

9:32 PM

There's no category for "every day" or "multiple times per day".

Those are some awesome numbers though. Thanks for the link!

@scohe001 Welcome! Pew tends to have a lot of great research on religious demographics and such.

@Alex Those are covered in "At least once a week".

@El'endiaStarman But it would be interesting to see how the data changes if there was an additional category.

@Alex I would guess the proportion of "At least twice a week" to be 1-5%.

I would say that it probably depends on the religion.

For instance, in Judaism, I wouldn't be surprised if many of the once a weekers are also once a dayers.

9:48 PM

...or thrice a dayers.

Speaking of which, it did surprise me how low the proportion of once-a-week attendees in Judaism was. 19% in 2007. I'm quite curious how much of that is due to ethnic vs observing Jews and/or potential difficulties in getting to a Synagogue without doing meaningful work on a Sabbath. I'm far from an expert so I have no idea how much of an issue the latter actually is.

Religious Jews are... quite the minority.

@El'endiaStarman My guess is that the majority of Jews are unaffiliated and don't attend services more than couple of times a year. The ones that are observant tend to attend weekly services, but they also tend to attend the daily services.

So it wouldn't surprise me if the vategory of "once a week and only once a week" is pretty small.

@Alex this. My guess is you're either actively Jewish, or you're Jew-ish

@scohe001 What's the difference between those two?

Can I be both?

9:52 PM

heh, that's a good one actually

It's a nice play on words, I think. Either you're Jewish (a practicing Jew) or you're a Jew...ish (kinda but not really a Jew).

In that case, I'll go with the former, I think.

@El'endiaStarman There it is. I should've used the ellipsis like that. I've never tried to make the joke with just text before

Just so happens that one way we denote ambiguity in modern English is "ish" and it's conveniently the same as the last three letters of "Jewish".

Yeah, I actually did get the joke. I was just messing around.

9:54 PM

@Alex I don't think scohe meant you specifically, but a generic "you".

@Alex Oh lol, I couldn't tell.

@El'endiaStarman Oh. I take back my answer then.

Ambiguity: a source of humor and confusion! :P

11:43 PM

ooh man, what a wild ride interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/20056/…

I am just thinking.. its hardly likely they will continue working there if found guilty after such gross misconduct

but to be intensely stalked and threatened by not one but two rejectee-s is uncanny