It is amusing, and can be a good exercise for first-year linguistics grad students.

Hey I have a serious question.

Hm?

When I say "I am surprised that you should be here", where does the "should" come from?

I have heard some theories, but never anything close to a convincing answer.

And it is difficult to research.

That is probably a good EL&U question.

I'd have to really think that through.

Yeah, I might actually Ask it.

My first thought is whether it is related to "Should you need help, don't hesitate to ask."

I thought about that too.

I think it was my best guess:

If-clauses can function the same way that-clauses can in some cases.

Oh, would you use "should" here: "there is no reason why she should be allowed to come in"?

Yes.

OK.

The step from "if" to "why" seems a bit weak.

If I may express it in non-linguistic terms.

It could be that it is just being used as the subjunctive of "shall"

And it's not too different from "would".

Hmm...

Not different in what sense?

I shall do that. = I will do that.

But "I should do that" ≠ "I would do that" most of the time

Agreed.

I'm just kind of thinking out loud.

What about the use of "will" to express a frequent action or tendency?

So am I.

Nah.

I think Fowler had a theory on this.

I don't have him with me, but I think he wasn't sure;

Like, "he'll often eat apples"?

Yes, like that - but I don't think it leads anywhere.

I would be shocked if you had him with you!

Hehe.

I have slept with him on occasion.

When I would wake up and want to look up something prescriptionist.

Good.

Anyway, I think that makes a good EL&U question, because I think it takes some thought and maybe research.

Actually I think he suspected it might be a transformation of "there shall be a robber".

You are right.

The kind of "shall" used to introduce a character in a story, very old usage I think.

Those modals have some weird evolution going on

By the way, I wish this chat were strictly chronological.

Yeah, I think they are in a cycle, like taboo words?

They just keep shifting around, and I don't know why it happens.

"will" used to mean "want"

Right - as it still does in Dutch and German.

And we still have the noun will.

In Dutch, "shall" has lost its sense of command a few centuries ago. It is only so used in Bible quotes I think.

In US English, "shall" has basically lost all use.

Is there consensus on the theory that languages with more speakers change faster than those with fewer speakers?

But you still use it in legal documents I think?

Might be

That's almost a different thing altogether.

More akin to a programming language, in a way.

True.

Dutch legalise still uses Latin forms of address: amica, amice.

Funny.

As for language change and number of speakers, I wouldn't know offhand, but I'd imagine that it could just as easily be the other way around.

Smaller communities could lead to faster language change.

I am not saying I have a clue as to how it works...

Because it would be kind of like inbreeding... a feedback loop

Oh, time for me to go to dinner.

But seeing that Dutch seems to evolve more slowly than English, and Afrikaans more slowly than Dutch...

Ah ok, thanks for your help! Hehe.

It's been interesting!

Till next time.

Adios!

Ciao!