Is it rude to tell the chef how you want your steak cooked? It can be.

No it cannot be.

@さりげない告白 most chefs I know and work with ask how their guest would like their steak cooked and it is a matter of professional pride that they serve it cooked to that standard... They like feedack from the guest when « it’s the best steak I have had in a long time »...

@SolarMike I agree that most chefs in most situations would be completely fine with it. I am merely stating that there are certain situations where it would not be in the best taste to make such requests.

@さりげない告白 Sure if instead of "can I have my steak meduim-rare please" you say "Don't you dare serving me some of your overcooked crap!". However, most people don't consider the second option at all.

@DmitryGrigoryev It's not that. There are certain cuts of meat that you don't want to undercook and where any chef worth their salt would tell the customer as much instead of serving up a poorly cooked cut.

@Nzall There are also people who may enjoy a steak other would find undercooked, and unless every chef is also a mind teller, they have no way of knowing that unless their customers tell them. And even if a chef finds such a request strange or ill-founded, it's still not rude.

I think it's very important that we get to the bottom of this steak cooking analogy, otherwise everything doesn't make any sense.

@DmitryGrigoryev No, I'm not talking about preferences. I know there are some people that like their steaks rare and others that like theirs medium rare or well done. I'm talking about meat with a high fat content where you need to get the meat up to a certain internal temperature so the fat properly melts/renders down and you don't end up with meat that has globs of weirdly textured fat all over. Any chef that is professional about their job will urge their customers to let such a piece of meat cook properly, because it's borderline inedible if it's not cooked enough.

@Nzall The whole question isn't about what creates the best food. If you think simply asking the chef to cook your steak a certain way (even if it is suboptimal) means it is rude, then you are one of the most polite people I know.

@Nzall That's still not a rude request. Silly, perhaps, but there's difference between silly and rude.

@GregoryCurrie I didn't say it was rude. You are well within your rights to ask a chef to cook your steak a certain way. However, it might insult the chef that you dare question his expertise and ask to cook a steak in a way you might not enjoy because it's a different cut of meat from what you usually eat. At any rate, this is getting way out of the scope of the original discussion

@Nzall The whole analogy is about being rude. If you're off having half a conversation about something else, I suppose that is your right, but people can hardly be held accountable for misunderstanding your intent.

Wow. The comments took a hard right turn! :) My point wasn't about how you want your steak prepared, it was that it isn't rude to ask for, or express, your wants and needs. The key is to be courteous and professional.

I think さりげない告白's original point might have been that it might be rude when such wants and needs go way beyond what is expected by a business. A silly example would be going to McDonald's and asking for your food to be served in a porcelain dish with silver utensils, for the burger to come with 3 slices of tomatoes with smiley faces drawn in mustard, or for 2 burgers to be decorated so it looks like they're alive with one eating the other.

Whether that's considered rude or not might be dependent on culture. I think I've heard that in Japan it's not at all customary for a customer to ask for changes to menu items, while that might be more acceptable in the US. I don't know if they consider it rude or just odd of foreigners, though.

Anyway, the point is that "Why would it be rude?", because doing such personalized treatment as suggested in the question might go well beyond what the recruiter is expecting to do for their client at their price.