09:38
@Robusto Yes I quite deliberately left it ambiguous.
Obviously I don't really mean you. But then again in a way I do.
I didn't mean singing per se. Just performing publicly in whatever capacity.
I know it's not all sunshine all the time. You've talked about that. One night you get them standing ovations, the next you play for a hundred indifferent people dining and talking over your art. You're still the same you, but now nobody gives a fuck.
So yeah I'm not talking about that last bit. You'd have to pick and choose, and as a musician you just don't have the luxury. Unless you're Barenboim.
Still, I can only imagine that even some of your lowest lows must've been quite a bit higher than my highest highs so far. And on more levels than I can be aware of at this point.
@Robusto Yeah I think I'm realizing there's something to be said for performing a piece several nights in a row.
Not that it will become routine.
But it will take the edge off the nervousness. Shave off the bit of it that's needless.
Yesterday the second half after the break was already more chill than the first. I still trembled like an aspen leaf, but only for the first two minutes rather than ten.
Of course in the classical world you rarely get a second shot. Most everything is one-night-only.
Duruflé will be several concerts. Let's see how that goes.
I had a listen last night. Reading along in the sheet music. Hauntingly beautiful.
And quite challenging. Precisely because most of the time most everyone's in unison.
@Cerberus you know for a while I definitely had that impression. But the more concerts I go to, the more it's a confirmation bias I'm finding.
Don't know about the Concertgebouw, of course.
But this hall yesterday, the audience is typically very lazy. And really, really old. They just don't get up.
If I recall, even after Hakola's clarinet concerto there were only like ten people standing. That's including myself.
Yesterday every last person was standing. Like WTF.
And it didn't even properly register with me at the time.
That's the only picture that I clearly remember, actually. A huge wall of people standing.
The rest of the time I was just looking at the conductor or the orchestra. Completely ignoring the audience like it was some kind of wallpaper.
Speaking of pictures, lemme see if I have any to share.