If you are all peers, it is simply very, very rude. It sounds like you may not care about that, since the person who you want to exclude deserves to be excluded.
If you are a manager, then it gets problematic, rather than just rude. According to Alison at AskAManager, you are opening yoursel...
It is rude but like it is rude to insult someone that just punched you, an insult is rude by definition. I think what @thursdaysgeek meant is just that the other employee will feel insulted by being the only one not invited, whether the OP cares about it is up to him.
@Echox I disagree. It would be rude to draw attention to it (announcing something like everyone who isn’t a bigoted, sexually harassing asshole is invited to my house warming party), but simply excluding an unpleasant coworker from your social activities isn’t rude... it’s normal. In adult life, outside of an elementary school classroom, there’s just no obligation to include everyone or no one in a social activity - invite the people you want to invite, and any “socially well adjusted” adult is going to get that and not have a problem with it.
legitimate charges of favoritism - Sorry, what? If I prefer the life and well-being of my family and friends over strangers, am I committing "favoritism"? If I'd be an employer and favor people who are a combination of nice and productive, am I wrong to favor them? Or if there are people who behave badly and/or unproductive, am I wrong to exclude them from gatherings? How about paying higher wages to them, is that "favoritism" too? Can we differ in value in anything any more or do we have to pretend stones are equal in value to gold? The egalitarian madness really never ceases to amaze me.
@glglgl Sure, but when discussing etiquette and politeness/rudeness, you base things on what a reasonably well adjusted adult would do or feel. It doesn’t matter if a bigoted sexual harasser might take offense to being excluded, and flip side to that is that the 8 other well adjusted people (the OP and his 7 non-bigoted coworkers) have feelings as well, and I assert it would be rude to them to invite one poorly adjusted jackass to ruin their good time. The OP, who is throwing the party and the 7 other coworkers deserve more consideration than the 1 bigot.
@Battle The legitimate charges of favouritism bit only applies if the OP is a manager. But if the OP is a manager, has been sexually harassed by one of his coworkers, and hasn't done anything about it at work, then we have an entirely different question on our hands.
Mixed feelings on how to vote on this. For the most part I agree with this, but the first sentence is wrong. OP is not in elementary school. There is nothing rude about inviting co-workers that you are friendly with to a party at your house and not inviting those you don't know or actively dislike (for a very good reason)
@JohnK if you are a manager or in HR, and you're inviting colleagues, it's not purely private, even if it's a party at your own house. Did you read the links? It sounds like the OP is NOT a manager or in HR, and so yes, it seems quite appropriate to invite all but the one. But excluding just one person from a group is rude, even when completely justified and recommended. Sometimes rude is ok.
@HopelessN00b: I don't know what your reference is for elementary schools. In the ones I know (mine, my wife's, our kids' current public school) in different countries, inviting some kids and not all to a party is completely normal and happens all the time.
@MartinArgerami Inviting some and not all is completely normal. Inviting all except ONE is pointedly rude, and is usually discouraged in elementary schools. Which still misses the point of my answer - it's ok to exclude the one if they've already been inappropriate towards you. As long as you're not in management.
@thursdaysgeek could you elaborate on why you find it to be "very, very rude"? If you and I worked together and I invited everyone but you (because you're "that" guy), you could have your feelings hurt. But, boohoo? Grow a pair? I would still not find it to be rude. Would probably describe it as "honest" and "a point clearly made". But I don't see how you could be offended by something you never received, an invite in this case.
The 'rude' part would be to the other colleagues and anyone else at the party, if this guy was invited and turned up. Please check on the word 'rude'. Sexual harassment is rude, and that's being polite! -1. If I could.
I see what Echox is saying and agree - it is rude, and potentially awkward, but for good reason and therefore probably an acceptable tradeoff. Because you don't mind being rude to someone that you really, really don't like. But it's semantics really.
@rkeet Being the only person in an existing delineated group of people excluded from some event, whether you have any right to be there or not, whether it's work related or not, whether you're a d@@k or not, and whether it actually makes you "offended" or not, is rude. That's just a fact. But it doesn't matter because the individual concerned has made his own bed and now he gets to sleep in it :)
@LightnessRacesinOrbit I totally agree with your comment. There is a difference between something being deserved / rude / legal / moral / appropriate, and this answers shows it clearly. Which is why this a better answer imo than the one made by Joe.
Discussion on answer by thursdaysgeek…
Discussion on answer by thursdaysgeek…