I think it basically boils down to your platform not making sense for your budget: you're sacrificing some pretty big gains in return for some pretty small gains. If you're 100% committed to Intel (though I seriously suggest you re-evaluate those concerns), I think you should go with older server gear rather than the current-gen consumer platform, given your budget. AVX-512 often doesn't even offer that much of a performance gain (counterintuitive, I know.)
Similarly, I think you can get way more bang for your buck by getting multiple 1080s/1080 Tis instead of a 1 or 2 2080 Tis.
I'm having also loads of unit tests running as I code, so I need some really reactive CPU. I have a 6700k that is sluggish, and it can't even play a 4k H265 video. And I'll be processing loads of things like that.
I'm not suggesting a 6700K, I'm suggesting server grade gear (probably dual 2011 or 2011-3.)
Anyways, if that's something you're interested, I'm happy to spec something out for you. If not, I don't really see a good option besides spending the cash and going X299.
I would be surprised if you hit that fast with AVX, but okay.
Frankly, it really sounds like you're demanding a feature set that you can only get on X299. I somewhat doubt you're going to need everything, but at the end of the day, it's up to you.
For $5k, you could also get 350 hours on Amazon's top end box
Once you figure out what you're willing to sacrifice, I'll be happy to help
But until then, I don't think there's much further I can do.
So, here are the options as I understand them: sacrifice Intel, AVX-512, memory and PCI-e bandwidth, FP16, overall GPU compute performance, or your budget