last day (19 days later) » 

14:56
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Q: Offensive coworker on an online game

Pillip FI am a fresh out of college student and a huge gamer. I recently got a job towards the end of this summer and met my team, which consists of a number of people who are in their late 50s. As I am a huge gamer, I just go home after work and play online games or watch people play. I decided to play ...

"though I won't say it was me who did that to him" Why? It sounds like you are trying to hide the fact that you singled him out (as you said you did) and basically tried very hard to make him say something offensive, as probably many gamers do from time to time.
No, he didn't realize it was me since I didn't talk to him. I don't think I would like to admit it was me since he would definitely lash out at me (based on the stream). If I did had to tell him how I found out, I could just say I was just another viewer.
"What I thought was harmless fun ended up showing me his true colors" ... "I then proceed to single him out and destroy him in the game since I am a lot better than he is" ... true colours indeed; harmless fun indeed
I'm thinking you're being -a bit- over sensitive and you're the one mixing work & personal life. If he's not harming the company (ie, cannot be directly linked with), then it's you who's making the link and the fuss. If you felt offended, hit that report button on whichever platform you were watching.
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Your question is odd as your conduct would get you banned from any number of game servers. You're the one who got sadistic fun from picking on a player you though was weaker (pick on someone your own size !). Sounds like you have an issue with accepting authority figures in work and carry a grudge outside - the victim is not the problem here, the OP is.
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14:56
You stream-sniped him/her?
tim
tim
Whether or not OPs actions were appropriate, or whether this is a work issue or not, seeing comments here dismissing a "sexist and racial rant" as "something you didn't like" or "somebody was mean to me!" is really disappointing and at least borderline in violation of the CoC.
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Think about this: If that most senior team member reads workplace, and he is a vengeful person, then you are sooo in trouble.
@Mawg You forgot Each time, he gets more visibly mad, which causes me to continue...
And why the first time? And why , apart form immaturity does that cause you to continue?
@tim OP deliberately pushes someone to snapping point, and then complains that they snapped? If the co-worker gets donations or pay for streaming & playing, then "not playing" is less of a viable option and this could technically be "workplace harassment". If this language is a reoccurring part of the coworker's stream then yes, they should be reported. But, if it's a one-off expression of frustration resulting from deliberate and targeted antagonisation, then it's an unfortunate lapse of "merely human". Either way, hopefully OP has learned that actions lead to reaction and consequence.
tim
tim
14:56
@Chronocidal Regardless of OPs actions, sexism and racism aren't merely "something you didn't like", "uuuh, aaah, hate speech [...] somebody was mean to me", or a "consequence" of inappropriate behaviour, and opposing racism and sexism aren't gestapo-like. When I'm antagonised, I don't reach to racism and sexism in my response, and most people who aren't sexist or racist don't do that. But even when some do, we might analyze that as a learned reaction, but it's still sexism and racism, and we shouldn't dismiss that as merely "something you didn't like" or as a legitimate "consequence".
@tim Agreed, but OP admits that their coworker was born and raised in a different era, when certain words or views were either more acceptable, or did not yet have any negative stigma associated with them (after all "coloured" is now considered insulting, but used to be the politically correct replacement for an even more insulting word that originally just meant "someone from the regions of Niger and Nigeria"), and they may fall back on old terms that they normally try to refrain from in stress. We need more info to determine how bad the co-worker was, but OP is admitting to their behaviour
@tim Perhaps you've just had a better time than I have: I've seen someone playing with a hot-pink character skin, with a username containing the word "princess", try to claim sexism for someone referring to them as "girly". I've seen 2 people in a 10-v-10 PvP game claim racism because their German, French and Russian team-mates objected to them filling the voice chat with Hindi when everyone else was speaking English. As a result, I tend to hold off on condemning random accusations of Racism or Sexism without more context
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pretty lame, and now you want to take it even further? What do you hope to achieve? We've had quite a few savage beatings and a couple of killings in my country over online abuse. Might want to think things through before pushing people over the edge.
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Your colleague has a lot more experience than you, so he could probably make you look stupid in front of everyone every single day. He doesn't, because he's a nice guy. You on the other hand made your colleague look stupid in front of an audience just for fun. Now, it you were HR, who would you rather keep: The nice guy with lots of experience, or the [insert appropriate term here] with no experience? Best apologize and work on your personality...
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Consider changing your Steam username so that it doesn't get discovered in the future. Sounds like you're all avid gamers.
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@JoeStrazzere it sounds much more to me like someone is trying to make a co worker they dont like look bad for their own gain.
14:56
@mathreadler - Maybe. I suspect someone who would do this to the most senior member of a team they just joined, does to others on a regular basis.
@JoeStrazzere yeah... But I think it's rather someone else on the team who doesn't like the youngest member and wants him out...
What you did is called stream-sniping. It is a form of cheating and thus a serious offence to integrity of the game. In my opinion it is worse than any words he could have used. Don't do that again.
@mathreadler - Wants him out? We have heard anything at all from the other member. Just from this one young bully who is now afraid.
Yikes, I hope you get your anger issues worked out because that was a d|ck move right there. If you bring this up to HR then they will clearly see that you have some unresolved issues which will probably leak into the workplace at some point so they will want to remediate you instead of the co-worker.
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@JoeStrazzere do you believe a person would have so bad judgement to go online and write as himself like this. I find it very unbelievable. Much more probable it is someone else who did and pretends to be this young guy.
14:56
@mathreadler - hmm. Interesting theory. Maybe I've just seen a lot of questions here which exhibit "bad judgement". What could someone possibly gain by pretending to be a young "idiot" who plays games?
Comments are meant to improve or clarify the question. It's not meant to call someone a huge douchebag. But I am going to do that anyway.
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@JoeStrazzere Not make people think He is that person, but someone else of course. Yes you are right lots of questions do exhibit really poor judgement, which is why I think those are fake too.
@JoeStrazzere Like this: Person A joins company. He is annoyingly good and likeable. Person B does not like him. He is a threat. Person B knows this older guy plays games. He then creates a game user, pretends it to be this new young guy, tracks his older coworker down and does whatever mentioned. Then tries to make people at work think it is A who did it.
So do you think that cheating to publicly humiliate the most senior member of your team and provoke them into saying something unwise so you can confront them about it at work the next day is an effective way to advance your career? Also, stream sniping is not something skilled players do. Those of us with skill don’t need to cheat to win.
15:42
@PillipF What you did is considered cyberstalking. You sought someone out intentionally to ruin their fun. And if they're a streamer, they're likely making money from that stream and you're interrupting it with toxic behaviour. If you were my employee, and you came to me with this, I would fire you on the spot. You also mention that you would intentionally lie and say you were another viewer and lie about your actions. This to me demonstrates a severe lack of moral character on your part.
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Clearly you understand your actions were wrong, otherwise you would have no trouble saying what your role was. So far, you've engaged in cyberstalking, harassment, bullying, and possible interruption of someone's income stream. You have stated you plan to lie about your role and actions, and you seem to want them fired as a result of your bullying.
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You also engaged in toxic behaviour on the game. Other people have already pointed out that stream-sniping and trolling is often against in-game rules. Should you continue in this behaviour, you put not just your status in-game but also your own job in jeopardy. And should you lie to get someone fired, you could face legal issues.
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And if you decide to oust him online, that's called doxxing and that's also criminal behaviour on top of cyberstalking.
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