I'm not sure if it's wise to say you'll be spending most of your vacation inebriated.

I don't disagree that you totally can be drunk the whole time but I would avoid telling my employer that I'm going on a week-long binge.

@EngineerToast who said anything about a week-long binge? just say you intend to be going to beach parties or champagne lunches or something.

bad idea, if i told you this and you laughed it off then i'd be angry because you don't take me serious. we can discuss overtime compensation, additional holidays (if i do call you with an issue then that day could count as a workday), etc... but if i am not laughing while i make this request, then you better assume i am serious, anything else could be unhealthy for our work relationship.

@eMBee you'll get over your anger. The point is that it is unreasonable to expect people to be on call during their vacation time. It's like you expect employees to not be angry that you are demanding they limit their activities in their free time due to your inability to get by without them, but you are too precious to have your feelings hurt by a disagreement or misunderstanding.

Surely there are ways to turn an advantage. Contractor rates(mimimum one hour) for phone/email handling, ticket upgrade to first class where there is WiFi, 5-star hotel where there is fast broadband in every room, a satphone for the beach bars etc. Myself, I would just go with plan A and spend the week umm.. 'incapable of making rational and effective decisions':)

@user1666620 you are right, it is unreasonable, i am not questioning that, however laughing at your boss may backfire, and maybe the anger will only go away after you are fired. so i consider this risky advice. that doesn't mean you should just do what your boss asks, but it means it's important that the reaction is able to get the boss to reconsider the request. if you have a very good relationship then laughing may work, but in that case OP would not have needed to ask here for help

@eMBee if your boss fires you because they're that infantile, I'd be pretty sure they'd be doing you a favour... Besides, acting as if it was a joke was only half of my advice.

@user1666620 "doing you a favour" or not, most people aren't in a position financially where they can afford to be fired and have to hunt for another job, over something as petty and stupid as this.

I think "won't be very sober for a lot of the time" is a good fact to use, but it would be better to use a more diplomatic/neutral formulation along the lines of "Of course you understand I that I will not keep myself in a work-ready condition on my vacation, and it's perfectly possible I might have had a glass of wine or two when you call me." It's still the same message of "I might be shitfaced", but it sounds more professional.

I just think it's funny that this is getting a fair few downvotes - is it really controversial to admit that many if not most people imbibe alcohol on their holidays and that they won't be too happy about being expected to do work on their holidays? And to actually be honest about it?

@user1666620 it's actually quite funny to get a phone call from a customer when trying to sing karaoke after spending most of the day on Estrella in a beach bar. I mean, what do they expect?

@DoktorJ can you give a citation on that bold claim?

@R.Schmitz True though it is still kind of apologetic. You shouldn't have to justify nor even declare what you will be doing on holiday. It's nobody's business.

@LightnessRacesinOrbit I can't say I disagree with anything in your comment. Just maybe... the implications? E.g. it's apologetic, but i don't know if any more than "won't be very sober". Both excuse that you can't work with being drunk, mine is just less "in your face". I also completely agree that "You shouldn't have to justify", but I don't think it's practically feasible to say "No, I wont do it" and leave it at that.

@R.Schmitz Indeed, "won't be very sober" is no better/different. "I don't think it's practically feasible" Why not? What else is holiday for other than not working? This should be self-explanatory and you owe nobody an explanation for treating a holiday as a holiday. If your manager can't accept that then something is really wrong.

@Geliormth well let's see. The census bureau says real median household income was $59,039 in 2016. According to BI (calculated from the Federal Reserve's Survey of Consumer Finances) the median savings balance for households with annual income of $45,000 to $69,999 is $2,200. If we look at the BLS figures annual expenditures on necessities (housing, food, transportation, medical, clothing) are about $41,553. Divide by 12 and monthly expenditures are ~$3,462, so savings doesn't even cover a month's expenditures, which means < 1mo to find a job.

@Geliormth so yeah, it looks like the average US household is not in a position to risk losing their job just to take a jab at their boss for intruding on their vacation time. Besides, it's always better to handle employee/boss interactions with a diplomatic touch unless you're on very good terms with your boss and such comments wouldn't faze them.

Honestly this is the best answer IMO. I'm surprised by the controversy in the comments here. Laughing at the request is an easy way to tell your boss that you are surprised by such an unreasonable request - then pondering it for a minute shows that you can't believe they are serious - then the boss will take you serious when you say you need to be compensated for your time. Saying that you'll be drunk the whole time also helps your argument that this is YOUR VACATION! Not work time! It's an extremely unreasonable request of the boss to request 24 hour support from his/her employees