Headphones (if turned up very loud) can - ironically - also be a form of attention seeking - but someone doing so will usually also give strong nonverbal signals.

@rackandboneman The only people I've seen use them like that wanted to be looked at, not interacted with.

I don't think that one interuption after multiple encounters is that big of a deal.

@Martijn That may be a matter of perspective. One interruption from the OP may be the third random stranger interruption of the day for her, or the 15th of the week. No-one is entitled to her attention and frequency can’t be used to justify ignoring the clear signal her earphones send.

@spagirl - why would someone smile and make eye contact with someone that they don't want to interact with? No one is entitled to her attention, just as she is not entitled to anyone else's.

@Mazura I smile and make passing eye contact all the time, but That doesn’t mean I want to talk to them, only that I acknowledge they are a human I’m sharing a space with.

I disagree with the last part - sometimes I wear headphones even if I'm not listening to anything because I don't want to be bothered. If she is wearing headphones at all, leave her alone. If she wanted to invite conversation, she would take the headphones off.

Maybe you would, @Andre, but judging by your username and tone of disbelief, you're a man. You haven't had to deal with ceaseless harassment from men who think you're cute and who will ignore boundaries to tell you so. Apologies if I'm wrong, but that's the reality that women face, and that attitude perpetuates it.

@ArtOfCode agreed. My point is more about the interruption than the perving. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with going over to someone with headphones on for a chat. I understand that that’s not really what the question is about, but it shouldn’t be what the answer is complaining about. To clarify - interrupting somebody(regardless of genders) is absolutely perfectly acceptable behaviour, but being a creep is not.

@Andre I think that, in the case of this question, the framing of it "this really cute girl"... etc... it sort of sounds exactly like he wants to ask her out... Regardless, calling an answer "mental" because you disagree with it is unnecessary. If you have another answer, write one but please remember to be nice in your interactions here.

@Andre In New York, in 2018, interrupting someone who is sending signals (headphones) that they want to be left alone, particularly a man interrupting a woman he is attracted to, without a particular reason to do so, is something many people would not consider "perfectly acceptable behavior."

@Catija then why is the answer all about interruptions. There’s a small mention of the attraction aspect at the end. Can an answer be “off-topic”?

@ZachLipton by your logic anyone who wants to be remotely social can not listen to music or watch YouTube in public for fear of sending “don’t talk to me” signals. That may be the case and if it is, I’m so glad I’m not from NY.

Headphones can be a very strong indicator of 'nobody talk to me...' and 'returning a smile' is just her being polite if the OP smiled at her first. I know nothing annoys me more than people attempting to talk to me while I have headphones in to just small-talk garbage. That is the reason I have headphones in!!

@Andre please answer - how do you listen to music and engage with people around you at once? I’ve always used headphones as an indication that I do not wish to be disturbed, and I treat others the same.

@Tim I often use headphones for idle entertainment, and personally would be quite happy if the person I had been making eye contact with subtly checked if I was open to having a conversation. You don't do both at the same time but it is possible to do one, while being more than happy to transition into the other

@Tim keep an eye out for them? When they wave their hand in front of your face you take your earphones out? Going back to my earlier point - headphones are the default until something better comes up.

@Andre Waving your hand in front of a stranger's face to attract their attention just because you're curious whether they want to chat and/or date you would be extraordinarily rude. Nobody, short of some kind of emergency, wants a stranger's hand in their face.

@ZachLipton Incorrect. Most people aren't uptight arseholes and are happy to have a chat if it suits. If it doesn't suit, they politely decline.

@Andre Waving your hand in front of a stranger's face to interrupt them and try to chat them up is widely considered extremely rude. You may be happy to have someone's hands in your face, but most people in New York will not be.