1:20 AM
@TimStone See, this is the bit I feel like folks are dismissing too readily.
Not everyone. Maybe not me or you. But...
Like, my wedding... I just went to my favorite bar/restaurant, the place my to-be-wife & I would go to get a bite now & then, & asked 'em if they'd let me use the back room & provide food & liquor. Then I went to my favorite bakery - the place where I'd go & get donuts before work in the morning - & ask 'em to make me a cake.
I didn't ask around. I didn't research that stuff.
But... Folks asked me where we got the cake.
Not everyone. But... There were guests who were... Y'know... thinking about these things for themselves, or for friends/family.
And it was a good cake, of course.
So how do folks expect these places get their business?
Selling donuts? Or... word of mouth.
These cakes are pretty visible. You bring donuts to work, they sit there on a table and get stale and who even asks who brought them? But a wedding cake? It sits on display in front of a whole bunch of people who all know who to ask. It's like an edible portfolio.
We flew my wife's grandmother out for the wedding. Turns out, she had a little side business making wedding cakes for years. Just out of her house, upon request, no shop, no advertising, just word of mouth. And for everyone who knew her, she was the go-to person for these cakes.
And it was like... Almost an insult that I didn't ask her to bake the cake. She was retired, she was a thousand miles away, but still... Folks had to keep reminding me how great she was at cakes.
I wonder if maybe this all seems a bit silly because we've gotten so used to, y'know, baking being an impersonal craft.
"I can order 10 cakes at Kroger any day of the week and they'll print anything I want on 'em"
The idea that folks have some sort of connection to their work beyond the monetary exchange - "I give you $xxx, you give me n hours of your life" - has become an oddity.
My son called me today, excited - he's heading to Europe for the first time in a few days, and a co-worker told him that tipping isn't expected and may be considered rude.
We get so used to these demeaning little practices here that any pushback ruffles our feathers.