lmao, what

@Unionhawk is this the guy who's dog appears to responds affirmatively to "Do you wanna Gas the Jews" but it's hard to tell if he's actually saying "Do you want a Glass of Juice"?

the point was because his girlfriend found the dog cute and wanted to make him into the most uncute thing

i remember something about him going to court because of it but if it's the same guy, well that's escalated

@Yuuki I never understood that. If someone gives you a fake number and you catch them on it, what's your next move? Demand the real number? Stand there awkwardly? All the options just seem really awkward and/or creepy

@Unionhawk next tweet in the thread:

relatable

@quartata start with Jake Paul first

no, twobugs

then logan paul

@quartata this is one of the dumbest things I've ever read

@quartata aren't they just on twitch?

@quartata i think i mean him. which Paul was it that went to Japan just to be a dickhead

@murgatroid99 agreed

that was Logan yes

both are bad though

@quartata i know but you start with the one that's coming to Twitch

@Unionhawk i'm so mad that the dog in question was a pug

also "count dankula"? really?

the most bland usage of dank

of course they're dank, they live in a poorly ventilated coffin

@quartata snap yes

also lol rick and morty hasn't been renewed for season 4 lol

@Unionhawk hang on. we still have like 9 or 10 days

@Unionhawk Do you really need to revel in it? It's a good show, and I'm disappointed that there (apparently) won't be more of it

do you want free money. | yes | > no |

adult swim right now

@murgatroid99 no just partially related to previous message

Since I also enjoy the show

@quartata do Adult Swim want McDonalds to get free money. | yes | > no |

absolutely not

szechuan is the embodiment of late stage capitalism, send tweet

szechuan meme ruined it for everyone

is that an allegory for class traitors

Yes

ok

Rick and Morty scabs caused the show to not be renewed

probably bob's burgers

Ahhh…That's the good stuff

@TimStone Man, it's starting to feel like these Republicans think laws are for other people...

@SaintWacko they didn't already?

@Memor-X Yeah, sorry, mild sarcasm doesn't carry well across text :P

this potentially could mean that if you operate a shady site (piracy, illegal porn, whatever), you using an overseas server might no longer help you at all

@Memor-X wut

don't they have to make some sort of agreement with the other country?

how can the US just declare that their cops can do international things now

@GodEmperorDune don't know. do they need an agreement to get material evidence from overseas?

@GodEmperorDune using the microsoft example from there i would assume Microsoft has to facilitate law enforcement's access to their data from the US to the overseas server like how they would normally do

@GodEmperorDune lol

have to ask, is there a reason why police can't use like rubber bullets?

or tasers?

this is a clusterfuck if true

huge abuse of top secret clearance that kushner should never have had in the first place

@TimStone it feels to me like there's something wrong with the headlight settings or the video brightness. The headlights should reach much further than that, and illuminate in a range where you still have a chance to stop

That seems like a reasonable response

After all, he might have said something mean

@Unionhawk really hoping this is a repost

Suspended. For disrespect. Of politicians at large. 🤔

if it's not then how the hell can you trust normal with guns when you can't trust the cops

@Memor-X Because what if they don't kill the black person?

@Yuuki i assume that's a jab at the cops being racist pricks because the obvious answer would be why can't you just disable the person first with a non-lethal method

Rubber bullets aren't non-lethal.

Neither are tasers.

but way less lethal than a gun

@Memor-X I think so

Technically, you're supposed to call them "less-lethal". And also tasers are very dangerous when the target has a pacemaker or has heart problems.

🤔

What is it with European pharmas and weirdly placed ads lately?

> Mr. “Fire and Fury” says not to threaten people. Immediately after threatening someone.

lol

@Yuuki Trump and Biden Thunderdoming is exactly what we need. It'll distract Biden from running and I bet Biden wins

@TimStone Trump will bring a yuge truck and Biden will run an Amtrak straight through it.

@TimStone Given that it's Russia, I'm even more tempted to think that it's The Right to "Bear Arms" rather than The Right to Bear Arms.

lmfao

"Sex and the City is, in fact, what created inequality in NYC"

nyt pls

@TimStone Ah, the "you're shit, I'm shit, we're all shit" narrative.

It's just so bad

@Memor-X I refuse to buy from them, but yay blind people being able to play highly visual games and yay efforts to make the games accessible for them.

I...what?

School shootings have been localised to that one school

But like he rolled up in an Uber and walked in and started shooting, I don't even think backpacks had anything to particularly do with it 🤔

ssshhhh

Don't bring logic into this. Only thoughts and prayers are allowed here

That's true, my mistake

Exactly Tim, stop letting sense get in the way of solutions.

starts arming students, janitors, parents waiting to pick up kids, bystanders, and bystanders' dogs

2 quadrillion IQ reply:

@TimStone Your mistake is in thinking that clear backpacks are for preventing school shootings. No, it's so the officials can see if the kids are bringing protest materials to school.

just stop

no

Rancid... Marxism?

Huh?

marxism is when the government does something bad, and the more bad things it does, the more marxister it is

hence the term "marks," we're grading the government

A- rancid Marxism since 9/11

@Yuuki i don't know about you but my marxism usually goes bad after a couple days if you don't refrigerate it

@quartata Don't store it next to ripe bananas next time.

these days i usually just chop my head off and put it in the freezer, the marxism is in there

Just...don't go on recess?

don't they have a strat to have a contingent not recess, swapping out, so they can stop such things unanimously

or some nonsense like that

Yeah but I'm not even 100% sure what their concern about the recess is here

I seem to remember them mitigating this risk in the past

with some really dumb procedural stuff

Oh, yeah

@TimStone Love too not look like sleeping on the job but also not pass reasonable protection laws.

I mean to be fair they aren't even going to take that up lol

he'll never do that thing that he fantasizes about every day in tweets

he'd never, even though it's in his best interest

he just wouldn't do that

Ah cool cool love to democracy

that is... impressive

Does make sense now that trump congratulated putin, after all, both of them run non-functioning democracies.

Now I'm concerned that when I go back to China in a month, I'll be coming back to everything on fire.

@Yuuki Everything on China is already on fire, you probably won't notice the difference.

On top of the Dude for Life movement, they also barred people with "lowered social credit" from taking planes, trains, and busses

@puzzlepiece87 I mean, I'll be gone for a week, who knows what kind of disaster Trump and the Republicans could unleash.

@Yuuki If you're in Beijing and a nuke goes off in Korea, maybe you'll be able to watch it Sarah Palin-style.

> The CLOUD Act would let cops get our data directly from big tech companies like Facebook without needing a warrant. Congress just snuck it into the must-pass omnibus package.

wew

@Yuuki We're going to have so, so much clean up work to do.

Apple supported this bill, likely because it means they get to throw up their hands and say "it's the law, we can't do anything about it" and avoid getting yelled at by Fox News for not handing over data.

for a minute i thought this was about the NYT writer maureen dowd but its not

it is about one of trump's lawyers

@GodEmperorDune That was my first thought also.

@TimStone Yikes, that is a very interesting and scary video.

@Yuuki I really wish they'd make it so you couldn't put unrelated stuff in a bill

WHY IS THAT A THING THAT CAN HAPPEN?

@SaintWacko I mean they mostly did by eliminating earmarks, but that was actually bad because now you don't get compromise for including pet projects

> Ivanka Trump Now Sitting in as Secretary of State

but what if hillary appointed chelsea as secretary of state?

For one, Chelsea has a doctorate in international relations whereas Ivanka has a bachelor's in economics.

For two, I don't think Hillary would appoint Chelsea to the Secretary of State position.

I would though. Me for president!

@Yuuki Are you serious?

This is insane

If Hillary or Obama had done even a fraction of the crap that Trump's pulled there would be riots in the streets

@SaintWacko At least Clinton and Obama have better options for nepotism.

Actually no, Obama has that one half-brother who's a Trumper, doesn't he?

Trolling the room here, but Elon's incentives package got approved against outside advice

grins and thumbs up for extra trollllll

Billionairessssss

In new things happening in the trump administration. Someone quit, they didn't get fired!

My lawyer has requested that I do not respond to this with something like "all billionaires are bad" or "Elon is a megalomaniac with a savior complex" or even "shareholders giving the money to him and not the workers helps to continue to exacerbate the income and wealth inequality that is at the core of this society's problems"

Unfortunately for trump, it's his lawyer in the russia probe

rekt

Inb4 Mueller is fired

@KevinvanderVelden Dowd's the one who's been telling him not to interview with Mueller, right?

Nope, dowd's the one who's been saying to cooperate

The remaining 2 lawyers include one that was hired... last week because they're golf buddies or something

@KevinvanderVelden Cooperate as in "don't fire him" but also "don't talk with him unless you're subpoenaed" I thought?

> Under Mr. Dowd’s leadership, Mr. Trump’s lawyers had advised him to cooperate with the special counsel, Robert S. Mueller III, who is investigating Russia’s election interference and possible ties to Trump associates as well as whether the president obstructed the inquiry.

Literally the only reason for him not to cooperate is if he's guilty and knows it

As a private citizen, privacy could be a good reason to not cooperate in something like this, but he's the POTUS

It's still hard to type that

It still doesn't feel real

@SaintWacko Rule #1 of interacting with law enforcement even if you're innocent is to only do things that you are legally required to do and only do them with a lawyer present.

(Rule #0 is "don't be black")

> No Charge for 11 Turkish Agents Accused of Attacking D.C. Protesters

wew love too support fascist regimes attacking your own citizens

@GodEmperorDune that probably increases the chances of Trump firing Mueller significantly

> Officials insisted late Wednesday that charges haven’t been dropped for political reasons

suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure

@SaintWacko he also has an irrational fear of things about his personal life being leaked

see the taxes that were never made public, for example

I think I got Ezra's going all the way

though the matty y is going to be tough to beat

@SaintWacko Um, if I were POTUS I'm not sure I'd cooperate either. I wouldn't obstruct, but it has been drilled into my head pretty well at this point that law enforcement is NOT my friend and I gain nothing by cooperating.

@Yuuki Yes I agree completely.

There's also, at least in my head, a huge difference between a police officer and Mueller as the special counsel

@GodEmperorDune It's rational if you do crimes and/or aren't nearly as wealthy as you claim.

@puzzlepiece87 What about Rule #0?

@Yuuki I agree completely with that too.

@Yuuki See also subrule 0A, don't be black and walk in your own yard with a cell phone.

@SaintWacko As someone who has done work related to Mueller and who is very glad Mueller is the special counsel, I still say no.

You're basically gambling that things will probably go well.

Literally zero upside.

TOP SECRET INFORMATION

@Yuuki :D

Incidentally, there was something about "attlestations" that I caught, I think you might have meant "battlestations" so correct that before you post it where you meant to.

@Yuuki Lol, I tried to copy-paste your permalink but it never copied properly

At work we're doing the business version of a gamejam basically - one day of "ignore everything else and do a process improvement project"

I'm Process Improvement ManManManMan/Firefighter in Chief at my work so I just picked a one-day slice of my second-biggest project for 2018 at work.

It says attestations, it's where you tell the state "These are the medical files/data we believe we submitted to you." after you send them. It's basically a requirement to help them audit us.

But it's definitely actually a typo and we are a Medicaid battlestation en route to Paul Ryan's house.

attention all, the house intel committee has figured out how to prevent russian interference in elections going forward

@GodEmperorDune Did they decide to go with posting "Russia, go away" signs in front of all polling stations?

@Yuuki even better

> it recommends a crackdown on leaks, including administering "mandatory polygraphs" to some administration officials with top secret security clearances and stiffening legal penalties for "unauthorized disclosures of classified information."

Oh boy, crackdown on leaks.

> "Possible Russian efforts to set up a 'back channel' with Trump associates after the election suggest the absence of collusion during the campaign, since the communication associated with collusion would have rendered such a 'back channel' unnecessary," the GOP summary said.

@GodEmperorDune brain explodes

> Among the recommendations was a proposal to repeal the Logan Act, an obscure 18th century statute that criminalizes efforts by private citizens to interfere in U.S. foreign policy. The law was cited by Trump administration critics as questions arose about former national security adviser Michael Flynn's pre-inauguration contact with Russia's ambassador. Trump allies have argued that the law was dusted off to use as a pretense to embroil Flynn in legal jeopardy.

oh here is the source

politico.com/story/2018/03/22/…

@GodEmperorDune Their entire response is disgusting.

@puzzlepiece87 yep

its some galaxy brain level stuff

Paging @Unionhawk Game developers push for unionization

Way past due, good for them. Hopefully they gained some confidence from the voice actors strike even though the voice actors basically won nothing.

doesn't help that you can hire scab voice actors and still have nolan north

@GodEmperorDune The evidence of collusion is evidence of lack of collusion, obviously

didn't a life is strange part power through the strike with scabs too?

@Unionhawk Yes.

That does seem a wee bit suspect, huh?

looooooooooool

I mean that's certainly not bad but also coming from Citibank, whew

> the law works in precedent, once one person is convicted for telling a joke, THAT'S IT

ouf

Pie knocking it out of the park as usual

This guy is hilarious

@fredley @Unionhawk Billionairesssss and their gaping soul holes

That's pretty presumptuous

@murgatroid99 He's a comedian slash actor, not a psychologist slash psychoanalyst

Still a pretty good insight though

I can see Trump fitting in seamlessly in IASIP

The gang becomes President

@fredley Oh, that's what that stands for

CYBER LAW

is it probably the cloud act thing

please don't fire mueller tomorrow, i don't want to march in the rain

university of cincinnati paid ray tensing more than three hundred thousand dollars in back pay and legal fees today

ray tensing is the former UCPD officer who shot and killed Sam DuBose in a front license plate traffic stop that this justice system failed to convict twice

former UCPD officer, likely future job haver

McMaster to Resign as National Security Adviser, and Will Be Replaced by John Bolton

Fuck this timeline.

I mean on the plus side we're all gonna die so at least this will end

I'm in a resonably big city, so I hope it'll be quick

I just got an accept vote on my " Is there a limit to how many nukes I can have?" Civ 6 answer. This feels like a sign

@MadScientist war with iran, here we come

@GodEmperorDune If we're lucky, only Iran

> Officials emphasized that General McMaster’s departure was a mutual decision and amicable, with none of the recrimination that marked Mr. Tillerson’s exit.

didn't they say that Tillerson's exit was amicable until it came out that it wasn't?

With Bolton and Pompeo in position, I really don't see any way this does end well. The Iran deal will be broken in any case, and who the fuck knows what will happen with North Korea now

Oh, fun number, if bezos stopped making money today, he could spend twelve million dollars per day for the next thirty years. He's now $132B

@GodEmperorDune yes considering we don't how how big "massive" is, because that logic would validate a preemptive nuclear strike

Okay, whenever someone says “The Second Amendment doesn’t give a damn” or “The Second Amendment might disagree with you” or otherwise anthropomophizes the Second Amendment, I interpret that as a “hmm, someone might shoot you”.

@Yuuki yeah

hopefully said person will have paid their child support... unlike joe walsh

@Yuuki seems to be a very lucrative market. getting paid to be an asshole to little children on the internet. can i have some

thank

thumbnail

a question for those of you in the US.....this isn't normal right?

no words needed

@Memor-X it happened under Obama but I think it was only like twice

@quartata i remember Obama but i thought it was only once

@Memor-X seriously?

lol rand paul is so mad at this bill

@Memor-X Nothing this administration is “normal”.

WHY WOULD YOU AUTO-CORRECT “IS” TO “ISN’T”, APPLE?

WHAT IS THIS, 1984??!!

@Yuuki a certain bias maybe?

@Yuuki it knows where it is because it knows where it isn't