Hi Amanda! There are two distinct issues to me, the first thing being your parents trying to convince you to have biological children and the other one being about your brother that you think may not be able to keep a secret. I understand you moved out recently, otherwise your parents would already be there starting to trying to convince you again?(that part is a bit unclear to me). — avazula 1 min ago
5:43 AM
#22164 avazula (9181 rep) | Q: How can I tactfully avoid telling my loving brother my home address? (score: 0) | posted 2 hours ago by Amanda d'Halluin (341 rep) | Toxicity 0.072878435 | tps/fps: 0/0
Also, I'm not sure whether we would be able to help you with how to tell your brother not to disclose that information when we do not know anything about him or which genetic disorder he has. In case there is not enough information about your brother to help you with how not to disclose that information without offending him, would it be interesting for you that we try to help you with how to tell your parents you're uncomfortable with them constantly questioning your decision? Because this I'm sure is something we could address. I'll let the other users tell us what they think :) — avazula 36 secs ago
#22164 avazula (9181 rep) | Q: How can I tactfully avoid telling my loving brother my home address? (score: 0) | posted 2 hours ago by Amanda d'Halluin (341 rep) | edited 16 seconds ago by avazula (9181 rep) | Toxicity 0.19045427 | tps/fps: 0/0
4 hours later…
9:23 AM
Hey WendyG, I don't know if you are aware be we recently updated our faq and now back up by personal experience or external sources are required (see here). So, could you edit to tell us if you were in a similar situation before, what situation it was, what did you do and how the other person reacted? — Ælis 1 min ago
#22165 Ælis (7701 rep) | A: How can I tactfully avoid telling my loving brother my home address? (score: -1) | posted 5 minutes ago by WendyG (2660 rep) | Toxicity 0.06458656 | tps/fps: 0/0
9:34 AM
I Agree with @Martijn. For example I had a situation like this were I became a friend of someone with a great amount of wealth and I didn't know when starting the relationship and frankly it was a little weird at some times but after a good talk that I don't care about the money but about her it definetly was far more comfortable. On the other way around if you get uncomfortable with the amount they gift you or pay for when going out, you also need to talk about this. I made the mistake to wait too long before that talk. — Nico 41 secs ago
#22160 Nico (466 rep) | A: How should I behave to assure my friends that I am not after their money? (score: 23) | posted 40 hours ago by MlleMei (1594 rep) | Toxicity 0.06895681 | tps/fps: 0/0
Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps. beep boop My human overlords won't let me flag that, so you'll have to do it yourself.
Hey @Nico, comment here are not supposed to stay, so you might want to write that in an answer of your own (unless everything you have to say has already been said in other answers). — Ælis 36 secs ago
#22160 Ælis (7701 rep) | A: How should I behave to assure my friends that I am not after their money? (score: 23) | posted 40 hours ago by MlleMei (1594 rep) | Toxicity 0.08929052 | tps/fps: 0/0
9:59 AM
I do agree a firm No is a good idea, but for family members with similar attitudes. I had to tell them to shut up and tell them to mind their own business. :( As for church family members, it works pretty well telling them I could not care less about their church, but I am digressing. — Rui F Ribeiro 36 secs ago
#14919 Rui F Ribeiro (966 rep) | A: How do I tactfully refuse to donate money? (score: 0) | posted 395 days ago by gnasher729 (5743 rep) | Toxicity 0.15787114 | Comment on inactive post | tps/fps: 0/0
Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps. beep boop My human overlords won't let me flag that, so you'll have to do it yourself.
I do not know and do not care usually works well for me in several subjects...when in the computer I just stop interacting, it disengages people who already know me well (family) and it allows me to cool off before I say something that we both regret. — Rui F Ribeiro 1 min ago
#14921 Rui F Ribeiro (966 rep) | A: How do I tactfully refuse to donate money? (score: 1) | posted 395 days ago by baldPrussian (25348 rep) | Toxicity 0.18814284 | Comment on inactive post | tps/fps: 0/0
10:21 AM
@Niko1978, can I say for years I honestly believed people when they said "I would love to come but XYZ", and was trying to help them by solving their blocker. It isn't always manipulation. — WendyG 32 secs ago
#22147 WendyG (2662 rep) | A: How to tell my mother that my wife does not want to attend a family birthday party? (score: 4) | posted 2 days ago by Dave (141 rep) | Toxicity 0.15847562 | tps/fps: 0/0
FYI, I do say in the last paragraph to tell them that he values their friendship and not their money. Whether to say it in passing or have a big conversation is more up to OP, it depends on them, his friends, how comfortable they are talking about money, etc... not enough information here for me to push one way or the other. — MlleMei 50 secs ago
#22160 MlleMei (1624 rep) | A: How should I behave to assure my friends that I am not after their money? (score: 25) | posted 41 hours ago by MlleMei (1624 rep) | Toxicity 0.07507083 | tps/fps: 0/0
10:40 AM
Did you consider just saying that having lots of people around made you anxious? And would that be true? Or does the aunt in question particularly make you anxious? — DaveG 15 secs ago
#22168 DaveG (5447 rep) | Q: Tactfully telling someone that they are the reason for your anxiety (score: 0) | posted 21 minutes ago by Ælis (7702 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by DaveG (5447 rep) | Toxicity 0.03705786 | tps/fps: 0/0
#22168 Ælis (7702 rep) | Q: Tactfully telling someone that they are the reason for your anxiety (score: 0) | posted 26 minutes ago by Ælis (7702 rep) | edited 7 minutes ago by DaveG (5447 rep) | Toxicity 0.23328005 | tps/fps: 0/0
11:04 AM
I agree very much the last part
It is usually that expectation that makes one feel like they are being taken advantage of. — Fabio Milheiro 1 min ago
#22163 Fabio Milheiro (101 rep) | A: How should I behave to assure my friends that I am not after their money? (score: 1) | posted 9 hours ago by さりげない告白 (504 rep) | Toxicity 0.06911357 | tps/fps: 0/0
11:27 AM
Hi there. I've edited your question (including the title) so that it sticks to this stack's policy ("Should I" question are off-topic here). If you don't agree, please feel free to rollback the edit, or edit it by yourself ;) — OldPadawan 40 secs ago
#22170 OldPadawan (16041 rep) | Q: How can I greet people when I encounter someone searching for bottles in trash cans? (score: 2) | posted 14 minutes ago by lawful_neutral (111 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by OldPadawan (16041 rep) | Toxicity 0.25046638 | tps/fps: 0/0
Hi Fabio! Welcome to IPS. Could you please tell us how you've been through a similar situation yourself, or whether you've seen someone trying this and it worked? We expect answers to come with some backup that could prove OP that what you're suggesting to do should work indeed. You may find further info about our backup policy here; feel free to also reach out if you need further help. Have a great time among us! — avazula 19 secs ago
#22169 avazula (9181 rep) | A: How should I behave to assure my friends that I am not after their money? (score: -1) | posted 33 minutes ago by Fabio Milheiro (99 rep) | Toxicity 0.06971441 | tps/fps: 0/0
Hi lawful_neutral! I see OldPadawan added something about 'not sounding harsh or patronizing', I'm not sure what about your current approach (saying hello or good afternoon) is considered harsh or patronizing though, or what kind of response you're after. You say right now they look at you and don't reply, what wuold you like to change there? Also, we can't really answer whether it would make them feel better or worse. Can you edit that part out as well? — Tinkeringbell ♦ 1 min ago
#22170 Tinkeringbell (23778 rep) | Q: How can I greet people when I encounter someone searching for bottles in trash cans? (score: 2) | posted 23 minutes ago by lawful_neutral (111 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by avazula (9181 rep) | Toxicity 0.2430473 | tps/fps: 0/0
@Tinkeringbell I don't really care about their response, I just don't want to make them feel uncomfortable, but I'm not sure what is more uncomfortable: being ignored or being noticed in a situation like this. — lawful_neutral 46 secs ago
#22170 lawful_neutral (109 rep) | Q: How can I greet people when I encounter someone searching for bottles in trash cans? (score: 1) | posted 26 minutes ago by lawful_neutral (109 rep) | edited 5 minutes ago by avazula (9181 rep) | Toxicity 0.32051632 | tps/fps: 0/0
11:58 AM
@avazula, what a great way to welcome someone. I was trying to help the OP in a subject that I believe to have some experience. You could make a suggestion but blatantly down vote and suggest deletion tells me something about you. I'll send you the passports, if you need more evidence. — Fabio Milheiro 21 secs ago
#22169 Fabio Milheiro (99 rep) | A: How should I behave to assure my friends that I am not after their money? (score: -1) | posted 58 minutes ago by Fabio Milheiro (99 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by Fabio Milheiro (99 rep) | Toxicity 0.11551844 | tps/fps: 0/0
12:09 PM
Okay. I'm on the fence about your current version of the question, it can be a really good one if people put some research into their answers, it can also be very primarily opinion based if people answer with 'I think I'd say/do this' :/ Can you do me one last favour, and add some kind of location tag or cultural background into your question? I think how much this behaviour may be stigmatized might vary across cultures, and thus how uncomfortable people may be when they're noticed. It should also help finding some more research-like sources for our answerers. — Tinkeringbell ♦ 6 secs ago
#22170 Tinkeringbell (23778 rep) | Q: How can I greet people when I encounter someone searching for bottles in trash cans? (score: 2) | posted 56 minutes ago by lawful_neutral (114 rep) | edited 23 minutes ago by lawful_neutral (114 rep) | Toxicity 0.0927016 | tps/fps: 0/0
12:20 PM
#22170 lawful_neutral (114 rep) | Q: How can I greet people when I encounter someone searching for bottles in trash cans? (score: 2) | posted 1 hours ago by lawful_neutral (114 rep) | edited 1 minutes ago by lawful_neutral (114 rep) | Toxicity 0.02604875 | tps/fps: 0/0
I'm sorry, I didn't want to offend you in any way. We tend to flag and cast a delete vote answers that are not entirely backed up to let enough time to the answerer to provide their backing up experience (FWIW I wasn't the downvoter), so that they can ask for undeletion once they're ready. I believe the information you've provided is a great addition to your suggestion to OP so, thanks for helping them! — avazula 13 secs ago
#22169 avazula (9181 rep) | A: How should I behave to assure my friends that I am not after their money? (score: -1) | posted 1 hours ago by Fabio Milheiro (99 rep) | edited 27 minutes ago by Fabio Milheiro (99 rep) | Toxicity 0.13167147 | tps/fps: 0/0
#22172 AsheraH (267 rep) | Q: Different budgets within roommate group (score: 0) | posted 13 minutes ago by tryin (101 rep) | edited 10 minutes ago by A J (6909 rep) | Toxicity 0.045391705 | tps/fps: 0/0
#22172 tryin (101 rep) | Q: Different budgets within roommate group (score: 0) | posted 18 minutes ago by tryin (101 rep) | edited 15 minutes ago by A J (6909 rep) | Toxicity 0.08442766 | tps/fps: 0/0
Re point 3, all jokes about which bits of my brother I would kick first if he asked me that, in all seriousness I would stop speaking to him ever again beyond being coldly polite at our parents' funerals. — Meelah 45 secs ago
#22157 Meelah (216 rep) | Q: Asking my sister to dating my best friend and my best friend will ask her sister to dating me? (score: -3) | posted 51 hours ago by theasker2000 (1 rep) | edited 50 hours ago by OldPadawan (16041 rep) | Toxicity 0.38650438 | tps/fps: 0/0
Well the thing is I don't want to use something that they paid for, because I know I can't afford to pay it back. I'll either be in their debt for a long while or just never repay them, and both seem like bad options — tryin 5 secs ago
#22173 tryin (101 rep) | A: Different budgets within roommate group (score: 0) | posted 13 minutes ago by DaveG (5457 rep) | Toxicity 0.14911403 | tps/fps: 0/0
@Tinkeringbell I didn't think about that, but it could be a solution indeed (especially since my aunt is his sister). — Ælis 29 secs ago
#22168 Ælis (7699 rep) | Q: Tactfully telling someone that they are the reason for your anxiety (score: -1) | posted 2 hours ago by Ælis (7699 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Ælis (7699 rep) | Toxicity 0.12846413 | tps/fps: 0/0
You say your dad suggested a way out for you, can/are you willing to you ask him to be honest and explain if there's a next time? — Tinkeringbell ♦ 2 mins ago
#22168 Tinkeringbell (23778 rep) | Q: Tactfully telling someone that they are the reason for your anxiety (score: -1) | posted 2 hours ago by Ælis (7699 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Ælis (7699 rep) | Toxicity 0.20015699 | tps/fps: 0/0
I'm an international student, and I don't have any concept of spending in dollars. I guess 80$ isn't an extravagant amount, but we all also already have our own dishes (which don't match each other). At this rate, it seems like the cost of furniture might just make up for the money saved by moving :( — tryin 1 min ago
#22173 tryin (101 rep) | A: Different budgets within roommate group (score: 0) | posted 19 minutes ago by DaveG (5457 rep) | Toxicity 0.13066079 | tps/fps: 0/0
1:03 PM
#22173 MlleMei (1633 rep) | A: Different budgets within roommate group (score: -1) | posted 32 minutes ago by DaveG (5455 rep) | Toxicity 0.102009125 | tps/fps: 0/0
#22173 DaveG (5453 rep) | A: Different budgets within roommate group (score: -2) | posted 41 minutes ago by DaveG (5453 rep) | Toxicity 0.16432214 | tps/fps: 0/0
You mention being in the same situation at one point. How did you handle it and what was the outcome? — Rainbacon 44 secs ago
#22173 Rainbacon (5401 rep) | A: Different budgets within roommate group (score: -2) | posted 42 minutes ago by DaveG (5453 rep) | Toxicity 0.06731394 | tps/fps: 0/0
Hey DaveG, you might want to take a (new) look at our faq about frame challenge since I'm not really sure this currently solve the OP problem. — Ælis 1 min ago
#22173 Ælis (7698 rep) | A: Different budgets within roommate group (score: -2) | posted 45 minutes ago by DaveG (5453 rep) | Toxicity 0.12004478 | tps/fps: 0/0
Hey Vingtoft! Can you add a location tag or some cultural background into the question? 'Polite' is a concept that differs a lot between cultures. Also, per our help center, we're not really here to write these e-mails for you. Would it work for you if answers focused on the general principles of polite rejections within your culture? Can you possibly give us a general overview of the kind of structure you were thinking about for these e-mails or include what a general rejection e-mail in your company looks like at this moment (and possibly what parts of that you want to improve?) — Tinkeringbell ♦ 1 min ago
#22174 Tinkeringbell (23778 rep) | Q: How can I politely turn down a job applicant in a generic way? (score: 0) | posted 18 minutes ago by Vingtoft (529 rep) | Toxicity 0.1551422 | tps/fps: 0/0
1:34 PM
This sounds like a phrasing request more than an question about interpersonal skills. — sphennings 46 secs ago
#22174 sphennings (8174 rep) | Q: How can I politely turn down a job applicant in a generic way? (score: 0) | posted 33 minutes ago by Vingtoft (529 rep) | Toxicity 0.072014526 | tps/fps: 0/0
1:54 PM
#13820 BestGuess (181 rep) | Q: How to respond to "What happened to your face?" (score: 6) | posted 419 days ago by scohe001 (11607 rep) | edited 419 days ago by scohe001 (11607 rep) | Toxicity 0.19764917 | tps/fps: 0/0
2:47 PM
Hi Jordan! Welcome to IPS. I'd suggest that you edit your question, for "what is the best day to do XYZ is primarily opinion-based". Maybe "how to politely tell a homeless person I can't give them any spare change without offending them" would be a better fit, but in that case, I'm afraid it would be a duplicate of this recently asked question. Maybe you'll find some interesting piece of advice over there? — avazula 8 secs ago
#22177 avazula (9181 rep) | Q: How to respond to panhandlers? (score: 1) | posted 7 minutes ago by Jordan (106 rep) | Toxicity 0.12761463 | tps/fps: 0/0
You have an excellent point on offering to do chores to make up for paying less. I had not considered that. — Reubens4Dinner 21 secs ago
#22176 Reubens4Dinner (300 rep) | A: Different budgets within roommate group (score: 2) | posted 1 hours ago by MlleMei (1734 rep) | Toxicity 0.045645908 | tps/fps: 0/0
3:05 PM
#22177 Jordan (106 rep) | Q: How to respond to panhandlers? (score: 1) | posted 25 minutes ago by Jordan (106 rep) | Toxicity 0.19475473 | tps/fps: 0/0
3:38 PM
@Meelah You would stop speaking to your brother if he tried to set you up on a date with his friend? That seems extreme. — Upper_Case 23 secs ago
#22157 Upper_Case (14057 rep) | Q: Asking my sister to dating my best friend and my best friend will ask her sister to dating me? (score: -3) | posted 54 hours ago by theasker2000 (1 rep) | edited 53 hours ago by OldPadawan (16041 rep) | Toxicity 0.32144722 | tps/fps: 0/0
3:53 PM
I'm not sure that the "Should I give something to them, or not?" part is really relevant to the question. Also, since OP wants to be polite, maybe you could expend your point 2. 2. ? If you have sources on how feeling invisible impact their mental health/self-esteem, that could be very interesting. — Ælis 1 min ago
#22180 Ælis (7704 rep) | A: How can I greet people when I encounter someone searching for bottles in trash cans? (score: 0) | posted 21 minutes ago by OldPadawan (16041 rep) | Toxicity 0.08873442 | tps/fps: 0/0
Hey Awesome, I know this is an old answer, but our back up requirement have changed since then and we now require answers to be back up by personal experience or external sources. Do you think you could edit to tell us about a time where you were in a similar situation and it worked? — Ælis 10 secs ago
#13829 Ælis (7704 rep) | A: How to respond to "What happened to your face?" (score: 8) | posted 419 days ago by Awesome (1062 rep) | edited 418 days ago by Awesome (1062 rep) | Toxicity 0.0353067 | Comment on inactive post | tps/fps: 0/0
I don't have time to read everything right now, but the background definitively looks too long. Also, do you have an idea of what tags you will use? — Ælis 52 secs ago
#3723 Ælis (7704 rep) | A: Sandbox for Proposed Questions (score: 0) | posted 5 minutes ago by M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ (111 rep) | Toxicity 0.10753563 | tps/fps: 0/0
#3723 scohe001 (11607 rep) | A: Sandbox for Proposed Questions (score: 0) | posted 8 minutes ago by M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ (111 rep) | Toxicity 0.20536184 | tps/fps: 0/0
#3723 M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ (111 rep) | A: Sandbox for Proposed Questions (score: 0) | posted 13 minutes ago by M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ (111 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by scohe001 (11607 rep) | Toxicity 0.20762569 | tps/fps: 0/0
I agree with @Ælis--I'm not sure that much background is necessary when your "The Question" portion already looks like a complete question. I think you should keep the information in your bullet points toward the bottom and maybe the paragraph before it too, as that gives us some insight into your position in the whole thing so far. — scohe001 35 secs ago
#3723 scohe001 (11607 rep) | A: Sandbox for Proposed Questions (score: 0) | posted 16 minutes ago by M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ (111 rep) | edited 5 minutes ago by scohe001 (11607 rep) | Toxicity 0.2596054 | tps/fps: 0/0
Hmm, what say I get rid of the first three paragraphs with only a mention to my dad's traditional mindset? — M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ 1 min ago
#3723 M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ (111 rep) | A: Sandbox for Proposed Questions (score: 0) | posted 21 minutes ago by M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ (111 rep) | edited 10 minutes ago by scohe001 (11607 rep) | Toxicity 0.23268661 | tps/fps: 0/0
4:39 PM
@Ælis : it is relevant, because point #1 leads directly to #2, they're linked (post hoc ergo propter hoc, could I say...). Because you need the 2 points to make sure you understand why it might be important not to ignore them, and that you can give a smile, a word, a nod that won't make them transparent. — OldPadawan 1 min ago
#22180 OldPadawan (16041 rep) | A: How can I greet people when I encounter someone searching for bottles in trash cans? (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by OldPadawan (16041 rep) | Toxicity 0.081237696 | tps/fps: 0/0
4:52 PM
I believe it might be outside the scope of IPS, but if not, I am happy to hear answers or comments stating that my demand is not reasonable, or I am acting selfish by singling my brother out and making him bring his own food. — Reubens4Dinner 53 secs ago
#22181 Reubens4Dinner (310 rep) | Q: How to tell/ask my brother to provide his own food? (score: 0) | posted 1 minutes ago by Reubens4Dinner (310 rep) | Toxicity 0.23588027 | tps/fps: 0/0
#22181 Rainbacon (5401 rep) | Q: How to tell/ask my brother to provide his own food? (score: 0) | posted 8 minutes ago by Reubens4Dinner (310 rep) | Toxicity 0.06407826 | tps/fps: 0/0
Not about this, specifically. I have mentioned in the past that he tends to make the world "wait for him," that is, he is the last one to get into the car, asks people to wait outside the restaurant until he shows up (late) so that he doesn't have to look for the table we are sitting at, and other similar examples. However, it is worth mentioning that this conversation happened after I "snapped at him" and, though it was not damaging to our relationship, it was not how I would have liked to present my feelings. — Reubens4Dinner 1 min ago
#22181 Reubens4Dinner (310 rep) | Q: How to tell/ask my brother to provide his own food? (score: 0) | posted 11 minutes ago by Reubens4Dinner (310 rep) | Toxicity 0.15398146 | tps/fps: 0/0
5:49 PM
Hi Brian! I really appreciate the fact that you keep improving this answer, but please try to make big edits, instead of a lot of small ones. Every edit puts this question on top of the 'active' posts list and with the number of edits you're making, you're creating automatic flags for us moderators to handle too ;) You've made 12 small edits over a little more than two hours, for a post that's already two weeks old, which is not really supposed to happen. Try to make a big draft and single, big edits, please, instead of adding one sentence/paragraph/thing at a time. — Tinkeringbell ♦ just now
#22017 Tinkeringbell (23793 rep) | A: How to befriend someone who doesn't like to talk? (score: 7) | posted 14 days ago by Brian Feldman (71 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by Brian Feldman (71 rep) | Toxicity 0.14085835 | tps/fps: 0/0
6:10 PM
Do you want to warn him upfront, or just say 'no, we're eating X' whenever he asks for something entirely different again? (I feel it might make a difference to answerers because the first one will probably also involve picking a moment/setting/way to introduce the topic). — Tinkeringbell ♦ 58 secs ago
#22181 Tinkeringbell (23793 rep) | Q: How to tell/ask my brother to provide his own food? (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by Reubens4Dinner (310 rep) | Toxicity 0.122901954 | tps/fps: 0/0
Actually, that gives me an idea. Perhaps I'll include it in the answers... — Reubens4Dinner 1 min ago
#22181 Reubens4Dinner (310 rep) | Q: How to tell/ask my brother to provide his own food? (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by Reubens4Dinner (310 rep) | Toxicity 0.06875866 | tps/fps: 0/0
Last time I told him that I was getting an order of X from Y restaurant, he said "can you get me an order of Z instead? They have that at Y" I suppose I could just respond with, "I am getting X for the party. If you want Z then you can you will need to provide it yourself"? — Reubens4Dinner 1 min ago
#22181 Reubens4Dinner (310 rep) | Q: How to tell/ask my brother to provide his own food? (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by Reubens4Dinner (310 rep) | Toxicity 0.12140418 | tps/fps: 0/0
6:54 PM
#22182 Santiago (440 rep) | Q: How to approach someone who keeps interrupting conversations? (score: 0) | posted 6 minutes ago by Ross (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.022049055 | tps/fps: 0/0
Hmm, good question. I'd say it does tend to happen with written chat too although the nature of texting is far more stop-and-start anyway. I'd expect it more there. — Ross 30 secs ago
#22182 Ross (1 rep) | Q: How to approach someone who keeps interrupting conversations? (score: 0) | posted 11 minutes ago by Ross (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.19598651 | tps/fps: 0/0
7:12 PM
Hi Ross. Can you explain what it is that you want your friend to change? Is it that you'd rather your friend not talk in the first place if he is busy, spend more time on the "farewell" of a conversation, or do you want him to put talking to you as a higher priority in his life? — Reubens4Dinner 25 secs ago
#22182 Reubens4Dinner (310 rep) | Q: How to approach someone who keeps interrupting conversations? (score: 1) | posted 24 minutes ago by Ross (6 rep) | Toxicity 0.15338676 | tps/fps: 0/0
#22182 Ross (6 rep) | Q: How to approach someone who keeps interrupting conversations? (score: 1) | posted 27 minutes ago by Ross (6 rep) | Toxicity 0.11863397 | tps/fps: 0/0
7:42 PM
#22171 ElizB (2376 rep) | A: Tactfully telling someone that they are the reason for your anxiety (score: -1) | posted 8 hours ago by Astralbee (25302 rep) | Toxicity 0.0743349 | tps/fps: 0/0
Hey Fabio, I went ahead and edited your post to remove the mention of a specific user because calling out users by name on meta is generally not seen as a nice thing to do — Rainbacon 1 min ago
#3724 Rainbacon (5401 rep) | Q: My answer was downvoted and marked for deletion. What should I do? (score: 0) | posted 7 minutes ago by Fabio Milheiro (99 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by Rainbacon (5401 rep) | Toxicity 0.070836626 | tps/fps: 0/0
"Moderators" refers to people with a diamond besides their name that can do things like removing comments. Normal users that have amassed some reputation points on the site gain some 'privileges', some of which include very limited moderation abilities. Please assume honest intentions. Would you have preferred if no one commented and your answer vanished out of the blue? — M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ 2 mins ago
#3724 M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ (111 rep) | Q: My answer was downvoted and marked for deletion. What should I do? (score: 0) | posted 11 minutes ago by Fabio Milheiro (99 rep) | edited 6 minutes ago by Rainbacon (5401 rep) | Toxicity 0.22718197 | tps/fps: 0/0
Fair enough, thanks for explaining about the diamond. It may even have been someone. Sorry for assuming it was this particular user. Yet the question remains. It seems someone thought it was a good idea to delete things without being seen and unaccountable. — Fabio Milheiro 34 secs ago
#3724 Fabio Milheiro (99 rep) | Q: My answer was downvoted and marked for deletion. What should I do? (score: 0) | posted 20 minutes ago by Fabio Milheiro (99 rep) | edited 15 minutes ago by Rainbacon (5401 rep) | Toxicity 0.07256102 | tps/fps: 0/0
#3725 Fabio Milheiro (99 rep) | A: My answer was downvoted and marked for deletion. What should I do? (score: 4) | posted 8 minutes ago by Tinkeringbell (23793 rep) | Toxicity 0.11040099 | tps/fps: 0/0
As for the speed with which things are happening, I tried to explain it a little in the election chatroom too: First posts end up in a review queue. Users seeing a post there review it. If it is lacking back up, they point it out, vote accordingly, flag, comment and then click 'Done'. Having users skip one step carries a risk of them forgetting about it later, or of never bringing your post to anyone's attention at all. So yeah, it's fast, which means 'please hang around for like 30 minutes or an hour after posting' ;) — Tinkeringbell ♦ 1 min ago
#3725 Tinkeringbell (23793 rep) | A: My answer was downvoted and marked for deletion. What should I do? (score: 4) | posted 13 minutes ago by Tinkeringbell (23793 rep) | Toxicity 0.13505049 | tps/fps: 0/0
8:53 PM
I feel like I need to go into more detail on the fear and decision under discussion in order to set up better answers but it's a private decision and I'm not willing to define the topic more thoroughly in a question associated with my handle. — TheTinyMan just now
#3726 TheTinyMan (3958 rep) | A: Sandbox for Proposed Questions (score: 0) | posted 4 minutes ago by TheTinyMan (3958 rep) | Toxicity 0.06812645 | tps/fps: 0/0
@Rainbacon You got it. I think they're determined to make the choice that I think is the right one anyways, the fear is just adding stress. — TheTinyMan 54 secs ago
#3726 TheTinyMan (3958 rep) | A: Sandbox for Proposed Questions (score: 0) | posted 4 minutes ago by TheTinyMan (3958 rep) | Toxicity 0.1871245 | tps/fps: 0/0
"The thing is...these negative consequences seem very rational to me. It's clearly the right choice, but there may well be downsides, and Alex struggles to not ruminate over them." So you are saying that you think Alex should make the choice and you want to help them as they are struggling to overcome their fear of the possible downsides? — Rainbacon 1 min ago
#3726 Rainbacon (5401 rep) | A: Sandbox for Proposed Questions (score: 0) | posted 4 minutes ago by TheTinyMan (3958 rep) | Toxicity 0.1224437 | tps/fps: 0/0
Ok, that was a little fuzzy to me, so a few edits to clarify that a bit more might be helpful — Rainbacon 57 secs ago
#3726 Rainbacon (5401 rep) | A: Sandbox for Proposed Questions (score: 0) | posted 5 minutes ago by TheTinyMan (3958 rep) | Toxicity 0.08845337 | tps/fps: 0/0
#3726 TheTinyMan (3958 rep) | A: Sandbox for Proposed Questions (score: 0) | posted 8 minutes ago by TheTinyMan (3958 rep) | edited 24 seconds ago by TheTinyMan (3958 rep) | Toxicity 0.1234023 | tps/fps: 0/0
Also, I think you can get away with not going into more detail. It might be easier for you to do if you can quantify the good impact and the bad. For instance, if things go bad, could Alex end up receiving physical harm? Emotional harm? Social harm? etc... — Rainbacon 14 secs ago
#3726 Rainbacon (5401 rep) | A: Sandbox for Proposed Questions (score: 0) | posted 9 minutes ago by TheTinyMan (3958 rep) | edited 1 minutes ago by TheTinyMan (3958 rep) | Toxicity 0.124363385 | tps/fps: 0/0
#3726 Rainbacon (5401 rep) | A: Sandbox for Proposed Questions (score: 0) | posted 9 minutes ago by TheTinyMan (3958 rep) | edited 1 minutes ago by TheTinyMan (3958 rep) | Toxicity 0.15599442 | tps/fps: 0/0
I'm not sure how to quantify it abstractly, besides "some combination of social and emotional risk." — TheTinyMan 30 secs ago
#3726 TheTinyMan (3958 rep) | A: Sandbox for Proposed Questions (score: 0) | posted 12 minutes ago by TheTinyMan (3958 rep) | edited 4 minutes ago by TheTinyMan (3958 rep) | Toxicity 0.36184815 | tps/fps: 0/0
Gonna delete my comments here up until I made the edit, as per the Sandbox rules. :-) — TheTinyMan 1 min ago
#3726 TheTinyMan (3958 rep) | A: Sandbox for Proposed Questions (score: 0) | posted 12 minutes ago by TheTinyMan (3958 rep) | edited 4 minutes ago by TheTinyMan (3958 rep) | Toxicity 0.11694202 | tps/fps: 0/0
Alienation from a single friend? A whole group of friends? The kind of thing that would require therapy? — Rainbacon 14 secs ago
#3726 Rainbacon (5401 rep) | A: Sandbox for Proposed Questions (score: 0) | posted 14 minutes ago by TheTinyMan (3958 rep) | edited 5 minutes ago by TheTinyMan (3958 rep) | Toxicity 0.06976336 | tps/fps: 0/0
I'm really struggling to even answer that coherently without saying more than I'm willing to. :-\ — TheTinyMan 6 secs ago
#3726 TheTinyMan (3958 rep) | A: Sandbox for Proposed Questions (score: 0) | posted 17 minutes ago by TheTinyMan (3958 rep) | edited 8 minutes ago by TheTinyMan (3958 rep) | Toxicity 0.07048411 | tps/fps: 0/0
Hmm, you've got me stumped for the moment. I don't want you to say more than you are willing. I'm trying to keep my questions as high level as I can, but I can't think of any other ways to keep it generic and still help you. — Rainbacon 28 secs ago
#3726 Rainbacon (5401 rep) | A: Sandbox for Proposed Questions (score: 0) | posted 26 minutes ago by TheTinyMan (3958 rep) | edited 1 minutes ago by scohe001 (11607 rep) | Toxicity 0.19193603 | tps/fps: 0/0
#3726 TheTinyMan (3958 rep) | A: Sandbox for Proposed Questions (score: 0) | posted 27 minutes ago by TheTinyMan (3958 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by scohe001 (11607 rep) | Toxicity 0.20234811 | tps/fps: 0/0
9:28 PM
No matter how you end up working this out, it's probably a good idea to keep a list of who paid how much for or towards what. It doesn't need to be fancy, but it almost certainly will help a lot at some point in the future. If everyone fully knows that Joe paid $200 towards the couch and Jane paid $100 towards it; or that Alice paid for the mugs while Bob paid for the cutlery; then it'll probably save much grief come the day when one of you start talking in terms of moving to own accomodations. — a CVn 1 min ago
#22172 a CVn (107 rep) | Q: Different budgets within roommate group (score: 2) | posted 9 hours ago by tryin (111 rep) | edited 8 hours ago by tryin (111 rep) | Toxicity 0.09363639 | tps/fps: 0/0
#3726 Rainbacon (5401 rep) | A: Sandbox for Proposed Questions (score: 0) | posted 42 minutes ago by TheTinyMan (3958 rep) | edited 17 minutes ago by scohe001 (11607 rep) | Toxicity 0.09584964 | tps/fps: 0/0
10:04 PM
When you greet strangers in your neighbourhood, you're also discreetly letting them know that you're paying attention and that you've noticed them. This will discourage them if they have bad intentions, such as if they're scouting the neighbourhood for burglary targets. — Gaultheria 1 min ago
#22170 Gaultheria (213 rep) | Q: How can I greet people when I encounter someone searching for bottles in trash cans? (score: 3) | posted 10 hours ago by lawful_neutral (119 rep) | edited 9 hours ago by lawful_neutral (119 rep) | Toxicity 0.4003252 | tps/fps: 0/0
10:15 PM
Do you think you're overthinking this a bit? "Yeah, I'm not mom and this isn't a restaurant. Deal with it. See you at 7." Sibling relationships aren't so delicate that 'politeness' is a primary concern. — Johns-305 52 secs ago
#22181 Johns-305 (1525 rep) | Q: How to tell/ask my brother to provide his own food? (score: 0) | posted 5 hours ago by Reubens4Dinner (350 rep) | Toxicity 0.2458107 | tps/fps: 0/0
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