That's great to hear that you've narrowed down what was causing your anxiety! I know I can struggle with even working out why I feel anxious in the first place. — Mister Anderson 1 min ago

"all while knowing that everyone's discomfort is because of his choice not to host" implies that everyone else are unhappy with the arrangements and effectively blaming A for them. Is that the reality? Because if it is, then you can't blame A for feeling uncomfortable about it, as that is BCDEF's problem, not A's. — Mister Anderson 1 min ago

Due to various laws around the world about treatments and how doctors prescribe them, we can't possibly tell you what to do without a heap more information which is probably too personal to share here. You should make a decision which doctor's advice you want to follow, go to them, and tell them so. — Mister Anderson 25 secs ago

I've been working with computers since I was eleven years old and at literally every family junction I have people approaching me to fix their phone, laptop, computer, etc. There are two choices: 1) do it for free and pretend like it's no big deal; 2) give them the run around and make up some reason why it wouldn't be so quick and simple to do and offer another time to look at it but don't follow up. — Charles 43 secs ago

In both cases though they don't care how much you value your time, and they're not looking to pay you. To them it's a bonus that someone in their family knows tech, hoping that since you're family you'll do it for free as apposed to tens/hundreds of dollars at a tech shop. It's the exact same for people who are doctors and their family; my aunt deals with it all the time. — Charles 35 secs ago

If you try to have them pay $, it'll just come off as rude to them and you being stingy and they won't pay you, hence why they didnt just go to a tech shop in the first place. Good luck finding your stride with this issue! — Charles 5 secs ago

Nobody is speaking out loud to blame A for it or actively complaining, and nobody is resentful. But if A sees that it's cramped and awkward compared to his house, he's going to make the obvious inference that the others would be happier at his. — Mark Green 53 secs ago

Hey Thomas, welcome to IPS! I'm sorry to hear that the girl you are into isn't able to reciprocate. Right now it seems like you are looking for advice on whether or not you should tell her how you feel. That's not really something that we can determine for you. What we can help you with is how you tell her, if that is what you decide to do. If so, you can edit your question and we'd be happy to help. — Rainbacon 56 secs ago

The behavior is acceptable if you accept it. It is unacceptable if you don't. If you have a goal we can help you achieve it, otherwise I am voting to close. — bruglesco 1 min ago

Hi Patty, welcome to IPS! Like bruglesco said, acceptable behavior varies from person to person, so a question of what is acceptable is not a good fit here. — Rainbacon 1 min ago

Just make sure everyone knows (or thinks they know) what a klutz you are. Regale people with tales of your hardware misadventures. Well - someone's misadventures - just replace (co-worker or buddy or friend-of-a-friend) with yourself, and lo-and-behold you can't fix anything. Hopeless! Completely hopeless!!! How does that idiot keep his job?, they'll wonder. But...no one'll bother you for computer fix-it know-how. Every now and then ask, "Hey, bro - you gotta broke komm-pooter? Kin Ah fix it? Ah allus wantid ta werk on wunna them thangs!", and watch 'em scream and run. :-) — Bob Jarvis 6 secs ago

@nick012000 I know the difference between a door and fire escape... — user24249 just now

@Nick: Rainbacon didn't give an evaluation of the usefulness of your answer. I'd say it is indeed an useful info. Reddit or a forum can provide usefull info, too. But as Rainbacon said, this is not the way IPS operates. For getting an idea check out this How do I write a good answer? meta post. And please don't take it personal. Enjoy your stay on this site :) — dhein 1 min ago

Hi Dave! Our standards changed a bit since you posted this answer. Could you explain why you think "directly tell him" will help? Have you tried this yourself; could you tell us how it went? We expect answers to come with a bit of back up and explain what we can expect from the proposed approach. Feel free to consult this meta discussion on answering requirements and ping us if you have any question. — avazula 9 secs ago

Hi user24249! Please edit the question to limit it to a specific problem with enough detail to identify an adequate answer. Avoid asking multiple distinct questions at once. See the How do I write a good question for help clarifying this question. And especially take into consideration the 4th bullet point. Since, if you can tell us what outcome you would like to achieve, we could tell you HOW to approach this. — dhein 33 secs ago

Aside from what dhein says, it would help if you could include how you ask. Do you push? Was your printer broken for a while, and did your dad know it was already broken for a longer time? Does your dad need to help you with using his printer, or is he the kind of person that sticks around anyway just to make sure stuff goes right? How do you usually react when your dad reacts like this? And what would you like to achieve, increase your chances of having him say yes, of him not reacting annoyed or handling the annoyance itself? — Tinkeringbell ♦ just now

I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because we need to understand why "just asking him" isn't a good solution for you before being able to properly answer. — Ælis 1 min ago

Do you mean something like this: interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/q/3485/21067 ? — Ælis 8 secs ago

Related discussion from the previous time we were on HNQ and had Fastest Gun In The West answers: interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/q/2415/1599 — Tinkeringbell ♦ 1 min ago

Please don’t write answers in comments. It bypasses our quality measures by not having voting (both up and down) available on comments, as well as having other problems detailed on meta. Comments are for clarifying and improving the question; please don’t use them for other purposes. — Tinkeringbell ♦ 38 secs ago

Your answer reads more like a commentary on the two other answers here though, and doesn't seem to add anything new, besides your support for the one and your disapproval of the other. This is what voting is for, not answers. And if you'd like to know how Heather avoids the possible problems you see with the approach they suggest, you can ask for clarification if you want, by using comments. — Tinkeringbell ♦ 18 secs ago

Hi Rob, welcome to Interpersonal Skills! Please take a look at our good answer guidelines and citation expectations. To avoid this site turning into a place where everyone can post their opinion on what can be done, we're pretty strict on answers, probably more so than the sites you usually frequent. — Tinkeringbell ♦ 58 secs ago

Hi J, welcome to Interpersonal Skills! Please take a look at our good answer guidelines and citation expectations. To avoid this site turning into a place where everyone can post their opinion on what can be done, we're pretty strict on answers, probably more so than the sites you usually frequent. What happens when you personally do this? Do people act understanding, do they keep pushing you, do they find you rude but never ask again? — Tinkeringbell ♦ 14 secs ago

Well, until now I never found anyone who didn't understood. They actually choose by them selves if they are willing to play me or they need to find someone cheaper. (Its worth to mention that I only have 8-9 years of experience and I only changed my behaviour with clients, about 1-2 years ago) — J Rui Pinto 1 min ago

Thank you! Do people ever accept, but still complain, like the lady from OP's question? — Tinkeringbell ♦ 1 min ago

Yes, sometimes there are people who still complain and accept but that's human nature. They don't do that with bad intentions. They just don't have much money and it's difficult to spend it for them, but if they said 'yes' then they understand and are willing to pay you what you need — J Rui Pinto 1 min ago

I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because I think it needs some edit and additional details to be properly answerable. — Ælis 5 secs ago

Hey, "how can I mount an argument.." seems like a phrasing request to me. Maybe you could turn this into "How can I tell them that my time is valuable without sounding rude/upsetting them too much?" — Ælis 1 min ago

@Ælis that is still, to me, too complete. I was thinking of a shorter post that would give the general guidelines that we repeat over and over in comments under those Q&As. — avazula 1 min ago

So, something more like an abstract instead of a table of contents, right? — Ælis 29 secs ago

Exactly :) I'm not saying it doesn't already exist, don't get me wrong. But I wanted to ask you people about the potential interest of featuring such a post. — avazula 1 min ago

If it already exists, I want to know where ^^ Also, I think it's a good idea :) — Ælis 15 secs ago

I'm torn by this unicorn question example. Some questions here were closed because they were asking how to stop someone to do something (one of mine was edited because of this). Maybe something like "how to make them understand I don't like it when they eat my flowers?" would be better? — avazula 51 secs ago

@avazula That would be a phrasing request. Maybe something like this would work better: "How to tell them I don't like when they eat my flower without making them feel like they aren't welcome here?" — Ælis 40 secs ago

Specific to france? — XtremeBaumer 12 secs ago

@XtremeBaumer I figure the etiquette might be different depending on the country. I don't mind having answers from other countries but they should clearly state that "this is an answer from country X". — Ælis 1 min ago

But don't we have the policy here aswell, that OP's shouldn't be edited anymore if they received already answers, in a way that the edit would invalidate existing answers? That's the root of having posted this meta. — dhein 1 min ago

@dhein If the question is off-topic in the first place, this rule about not editing the question doesn't apply (at least, that is my understanding). An off-topic question brings no value. Answers to an off-topic question bring even less value. — Ælis 1 min ago

@dhein that 'policy' is about 'chameleon questions': Questions that are otherwise okay, but are edited to ask about more/different things after having received an answer. It's not really applicable to questions that should've been closed to begin with. For answers to questions that are off-topic or too broad/unclear, Ælis is right: it's better to close the question, have it edited, then review those answers to see if they keep in mind added details or answer the new, on-topic question. — Tinkeringbell ♦ 1 min ago

@Tinkeringbell: Could you make an answer with that link in it? Would help me for future refference :) — dhein 29 secs ago

I think this issue can be seen in any line of work. A plumber will always get called by family members and friends for example. But everyone has a computer and computer issues happen rather frequently when you don't know what you're doing. — Aziris Morora 13 secs ago

This is the best way to go about it, almost most of the time they change the spelling form then on. Unless your contact with them is minimal (like an email every 2 months or so). — Amber K 59 secs ago

Hey A Morrice, I don't understand, if this doesn't work, why are you suggesting it as a solution? Also, OP doesn't want to appear "petty". Do you know if your solution makes you look like petty? — Ælis 15 secs ago

@Osprey: Regardless of good intentions, what you're trying to do is something that's not your responsibility. At best, you're going to end up masking the problem (teacher's negligence), at worst, you're going to create more problems (spark conflict between you and your class mates). You seem to be deadset on the notion that it's up to you to police this, but it simply isn't. Controlling things that aren't yours to control is as much of an infraction of interpersonal skills as any of the other mentioned issues are. — Flater 1 min ago

This does not really answer the question. If you have a different question, you can ask it by clicking Ask Question. You can also add a bounty to draw more attention to this question once you have enough reputation. - From Review — ElizB 29 secs ago

@AzirisMorora You are absolutely correct; when I worked with physicians, that was a common complaint at family gatherings. "Hey Bob, my shoulder hurts. What should I do?" Their response was fairly similar - "this needs to be seen in clinic; I'm not here to practice medicine right now." As members of a profession with skills in demand, we need to empower ourselves to say "no" or we will be constantly asked to provide our services for free. — baldPrussian 1 min ago

I think you are fine to not give details on what XYZ is, and if you went into more detail about it, that could lead to off-topic answers — Rainbacon 1 min ago

I also think that for the title you might be able to just focus more on the "I don't appreciate being pestered" part and less on the "I agree with her point" part — Rainbacon 40 secs ago

For the title, maybe this would do it: "How to let my aunt know that I don't like being pressed into doing something?" — Ælis 24 secs ago

Ooh that's a good point with the title @Rainbacon, I like that. — scohe001 54 secs ago

I think the question looks fine to me now. the nature of XYZ may not matter, the point of the question is not whether you should do XYZ, but the manner in which she approached you. — ElizB 43 secs ago

My experience in Germany is slightly different. We usually pass a card and collect money, but only those giving money can sign the card. Those who give money often ask what the others are giving and then give about the average. There seems to be a bit of social pressure involved, even though in principle it is completely up to the ones making the gift. It may depend on the working environment a bit. — Trilarion 1 min ago

"Controlling things that aren't yours..." That's not exactly what the asker wants to do. He wants to prevent others from controlling things that aren't theirs. I think that's a different thing, mostly affecting him and his peers. — Trilarion 57 secs ago

Is this question really too broad? Maybe it could state more clearly what the goal of the reply should be. Cutting the lectures short? — Trilarion 1 min ago

Hi and welcome to IPS! Please take a minute to read our citation expectations. We ask that answers on IPS include backup in the form of either personal experience or references - have you used this approach in a similar situation before, or is this something you've seen others recommend or use successfully? You might find How do I write a good answer? helpful too. — Em C ♦ 1 min ago

@dhein Thanks for the link. I had a read, and TBH I am baffled why you and Rainbacon feel the need challenge the usefulness of my answer - Rainbacon's comment suggests they think I didn't answer the question; your comment is not clear why you think my answer is not good enough. After the valuable comments from bob (whose comments and my replies to them have now mysteriously disappeared), I added some emphasis to help clarify my main points. If you could explain exactly what it is about my answer that is not meeting the definition of a good answer, that would be a good place to start. — Nick 1 min ago

Welcome to IPS! I just wanted to tell you that your answer isn't really an interpersonal one which is why I downvoted it. Since you are new, you might be interested in reading your faq about writing a good answer — Ælis 1 min ago

This is reminiscent of other questions, such as interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/9042/… and interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/1156/… — Acccumulation 1 min ago

@Nick the reason that I feel that your post does not answer the question, even after you've highlighted parts of it is that all of the things you've highlighted are explaining why the radio might be too loud (which as dhein pointed out is useful information), but you don't ever address the goal of the question which is "How do I ask a friend to turn down the volume" — Rainbacon 1 min ago

Hi Flater! Can you please edit your post to be in line with our citation expectations? Have you done something similar that got you reactions that made you realize doing something like this was a bad idea? What happened? If not, is there any kind of external source that backs your claims made in this answer? — Tinkeringbell ♦ 1 min ago

I don't see how you can claim that helping someone is causing you to lose money; it's not like you're engaged in profit-making activities during all your waking hours. Someone can just say, "Oh, you don't need to drop any of your paid projects - you can just fix mine over the weekend." You lose time by helping these people, but to claim that you're losing money is a bit of stretch. — Nuclear Wang 34 secs ago

@Trilarion Yes, and what you mentioned in your comment is one of the things that makes this too broad :) Your point of clearly stating a goal of a possible reply is something that is very important for any question on Interpersonal Skills, because without it almost any answer with almost any outcome would be valid, so it's not specific enough to identify an adequate answer. Adding more details on this will help. I hope user24249 does so! — Tinkeringbell ♦ 18 secs ago

If I were to work in the weekends I would work for my regular clients, earning money, but I don't. So why would I open an exception for anything free? — J Rui Pinto 35 secs ago

Hey Nick! Sorry to see you picked a bit of a problem post for your first answer here on IPS. The question is now closed because it's not a good one. The title is asking for a polite way to ask the volume be turned down, but the body asks whether to ask or turn down themselves. I just wanted to let you know that I can see you put time and effort in your answer, and that I appreciate the personal experience you used to meet the citation guidelines, and as you are answering at least part of the question, I'll undelete your answer. — Tinkeringbell ♦ 15 secs ago

But do note for future participation that it's a pretty clear sign that a question isn't such a great one when the title and the body are asking different things :-) For now, I advise you to take a peek at our good question guidelines, to focus on some of our newer questions and keep those in mind. If a question seems to meet those reasonably well, and is about Interpersonal Skills as defined in our help center, it's much safer to answer. — Tinkeringbell ♦ 1 min ago

This is an old question, which is now on hold because the title and the body are asking for two different things, and neither is good enough on their own to be a full, good, IPS question. So we fully understand if you don't want to edit your post. Though it might get deleted, you won't lose any reputation because of the age of your post, so no harm done either way. Your choice, really. If it does get deleted, and you really, really want to improve your answer, feel free to do so and raise a moderator flag for undeletions afterwards. — Tinkeringbell ♦ 1 min ago

OK. Didn't notice it was an old question at first. Anyway, thanks for the advice. — Nick 50 secs ago

This "smaller server" and "bigger server" things is a little bit hard to follow. Maybe you should call them "Main" for the bigger server and "Side" for the smaller one (or give them any other name, just avoid repeating "server" would be better I think). Or you could also call them bigger and smaller (with the different font) — Ælis 1 min ago